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SmuttyPariah

SmuttyPariah

SmuttyPariah

Hello. I mostly live on tumblr, it's a friendlier environment for my kind there, generally. The smutty, filthy, creepy type that tend to crawl outside the box.

Here's a link to my tumblr. Click it.

Here's a link to my Wattpad. Click this too.

I'm an alter-ego! I know, very exciting, eh? All the ideas that weren't worthy of my main pen name, but still desperately clung to life, they come here. A collection of misfits and pariahs, usually sexually frustrated ones. I hope you find something you enjoy. If you don't, kiss my ass,you must have bad taste, hahahaha!


Really hate my stories? You're entitled to your opinion, but I give zero fucks. The hypocrisy of some of the hoity-toity fucks on this site can lick my boots clean.



I'm sorry, I will NOT co-author. No, I do NOT like it when people use my characters/ideas, come up with your own. I am really busy and am NOT thrilled when people send me lengthy stories they want me to check out in entirety, sorry. If I do make the time to do so, be ready for some blunt feedback, I am very opinionated.





I really only need the following set of lyrics to describe me. Though I'm not a big listener to a lot of what Panic! at the Disco has done, I adore 'Emperor's New Clothes,' it is me in a nutshell:

Welcome to the end of eras
Ice has melted back to life
Done my time and served my sentence
Dress me up and watch me die
If it feels good, tastes good
It must be mine
Dynasty decapitated
You just might see a ghost tonight

And if you don't know now you know

I'm taking back the crown
I'm all dressed up and naked
See what's mine and take it
(finders keepers, losers weepers)
Oh yeah!
The crown
So close I can taste it
See what's mine and take it
(finders keeps, losers weepers)
Oh yeah!

Sycophants on velvet sofas
Lavish mansions, vintage wine
I am so much more than royal
Snatch your chain and mace your eyes
If it feels good, tastes good
It must be mine
Heroes always get remembered
But you know legends never die

And if you don't know now you know

I'm taking back the crown
I'm all dressed up and naked
I see what's mine and take it
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
Oh yeah
The crown
So close I can taste it
I see what's mine and take it
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
Oh yeah

Mortal kings are ruling castles
Welcome to my world of fun
Liars settle into sockets
Flip the switch and watch them run

Oh yeah, oh oh
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
Take it back, back, take back, back the crown
I'm all dressed up and naked
I see what's mine and take it
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
Oh yeah
The crown
So close I can taste it
I see what's mine and take it
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
Oh yeah

(Finders keepers, losers weepers)
(Finders keepers, losers weepers)


If you don't get why I like it, we have a problem.








This is a picture of Andy holding my personal, lucky two-face coin in Seattle in 2016. Sure, you can use the picture. Credit is preferred.

Stories

A Demon's Regret

A Demon's Regret

NC-17 Romance Fantasy Religious

This is a sibling to A Demon's Bargain. Andy is a very rare sort of demon that feeds off of first fulfilling the desires of desperate, lonely women, then leaving them in the dust. Could someone put a wrinkle in his perfectly operating machine?

12/17/18

10.0 53 Votes
sm*tty's One-shots

sm*tty's One-shots

NC-17 Romance Drabble

Here I shall collect my various and sundry one-shots and other miscellany. I'm an AB-centric kinda writer.

12/6/18

Completed ✓
10.0 18 Votes
A Demon's Bargain

A Demon's Bargain

NC-17 Romance Fantasy Religious

This is a sibling to A Demon's Regret. Andy is a very rare sort of demon that feeds off of first fulfilling the desires of desperate, lonely women, then leaving them in the dust. Could someone put a wrinkle in his perfectly operating machine?

11/22/18

10.0 22 Votes
After Life

After Life

NC-17 Romance Drama Horror

Lord Andrew is looooong dead. While he's spent centuries haunting the site of his murder and mastered his spectral talents, one strange day, things actually change.

11/11/18

10.0 10 Votes
The Gorgon's Daughter

The Gorgon's Daughter

NC-17 Romance Adventure Fantasy

Andrew is determined to see the world and experience the wonders outside his small village. First on his list is to investigate the terrible beast that lives in the caves in the forest. What fate could befall him there?

10/31/18

10.0 14 Votes
Turning Thirty

Turning Thirty

NC-17 Romance

Andy is less than thrilled about turning 30. He keeps obsessing over it, and it's driving his girlfriend nuts! Will she be able to help him get over it?

10/19/17

Completed ✓
10.0 11 Votes
Sanctuary

Sanctuary

NC-17 Romance Horror Fantasy

(Y/N) is a scavenger, roaming the vampire-infested wild zone.‚Äč What will happen when she finds a mysterious man named Andy is already occupying the only shelter within miles?

5/9/17

Completed ✓
10.0 8 Votes
Intergalactic Prison

Intergalactic Prison

NC-17 Romance Drama Sci-fi

(Y/N) wakes up with amnesia on a spaceship with a man named Andy as the only other passenger, but things turn sinister almost immediately. Can they outwit their mysterious captors and survive?

4/12/17

Completed ✓
10.0 33 Votes
Bloody Lonely

Bloody Lonely

NC-17 Romance Horror Fantasy

(Y/N) has been on her own for millennia since Andrew was killed. One day she hears his voice coming out of a passing car. Could it be that her beloved has come back for her?

2/8/17

Completed ✓
9.9 26 Votes
A Handy-dandy Guide to Writing Real Person Fiction

A Handy-dandy Guide to Writing Real Person Fiction

R Comedy Drabble

Behold! A short, opinionated guide to writing real person fiction!

1/26/17

Completed ✓
9.8 18 Votes
The Last Oracle

The Last Oracle

NC-17 Romance Fantasy Religious

Oracle: "a priest or priestess acting as a medium through whom advice or prophecy was sought from the gods in classical antiquity."

1/25/17

Completed ✓
10.0 13 Votes
I Didn't Want to Get Married

I Didn't Want to Get Married

NC-17 Romance Comedy Drama

(Y/N) is the only daughter of an aristocratic family. She's less than thrilled to have reached the age where she's to be used as a bargaining chip to gain influence via an arranged marriage. First stop on her parents' list of potential suitors to market her to: Andrew Biersack.

10/19/16

Completed ✓
10.0 51 Votes
Action Figure

Action Figure

NC-17 Romance Comedy Fantasy

When (Y/N) orders a 3D printed figurine of Andy from Staramba, what arrives is more than just a well-crafted stone mantelpiece ornament.

4/29/16

Completed ✓
9.9 38 Votes
Author

Author

NC-17 Romance Comedy

Andy and Juliet are fans of (Y/N)'s erotic fanfiction and contract her to tell their story.

3/4/16

Completed ✓
10.0 32 Votes
Birthday Present

Birthday Present

NC-17 Romance Comedy

Andy's not thrilled, but he's finally decided to give Juliet what she's always wanted for her birthday this year: a guy-on-guy porno with himself as the star.

3/3/16

Completed ✓
10.0 25 Votes