The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome
“Is it cool if I use your restroom Andy? Please?” I gave him my best smile, and he looked a little deflated. Weird.
“Yeah, hold on.” He showed me the bathroom, and as soon as I turned the light on I flipped out.
“Gagh!" I let out a sort of strangled sound. "What the shitting fuck!” The mirror reflected a face that was smeared, I mean, fucking wrecked. Now, I am not a girly-girl, but I looked fucking terrible. It must have happened during or right after the altercation, I couldn’t remember. My hair was all sweaty and gross and uneven. I felt a new level of horror and shame sink in. I would never be, like, a ‘pretty-pretty-princess,’ but was it really necessary for Andy Biersack, of all people, to see me looking like THIS? Why was my luck the absolute shittiest in the motherfucking universe? I tried to chill out a little. Play it cool, Hageman. Dammit.
“Um, you ok in there? You fall in? Sometimes you just have to hold the handle down a little while, it’ll flush…”
I burst out, “No... Andy, I am sorry, but you didn't tell me that I am so gross right now. Look, I know we just met, and I realize that you are a famous dude and all that shit. But you seem cool and I am in serious spot. You didn’t fucking tell me I look like a crackwhore that fell in the sewer-” He laughed and started to protest, but I cut him off, “- I really don’t want to be seen in public like this. Like if a client sees me like this on my way home, I'm worried about my license. Is there any way that I can use your shower and a towel, please? I can give you some money for it, please?” I didn’t want to piss him off, I didn’t want to cross any boundaries, but I also didn’t want any chance of my veterinary clients to see me in public like this on the way home. A photo like that on a social media website could ruin a veterinarian’s career.
“Of course, it’s not a big deal, you don’t need to pay me. Here, I’ll get you a towel for when you are done, and then you can change in the very back afterwards… in case any of the guys are here. Go ahead, in a second I’ll swap you a towel for your clothes.”
“Ok, hold on.” I go in the bathroom, shut the door, and took off my clothes. I cracked the door to pass them to Andy, who thoughtlessly opened the door much wider than I thought was necessary to pass me the towel and accept my bundle of clothes. “Thanks!” I shouted and slammed it shut. I was horrified, what if he saw me?