*Andrew’s POV*

I had initially been concerned how we were going to carry so much back to the shelter. Then Eliza asked me if I could carry the little package of provisions we had from Commons, her old boots, everything we'd gotten from Sandra, and some cute little decorative skulls she’d gotten. All of those things were very lightweight; of course I was able to carry them. Eliza then easily foisted all four heavy packs, about three weeks worth of clothes, up onto her back. Steven was impressed, and I was starting to get used to feeling emasculated.

The majority of the walk home was silent. I was working through how I would reveal my feelings, how I would bring up the subject. I had made a vow, I was a man of my word. To honor my father’s memory, my mother… She’d been trapped, alive, for so long, I wondered if she would die that way. I was a man of my word. I would tell Eliza how I felt, before we went to sleep. Maybe after she disarmed herself. Just in case…

As we rounded the bend, Eliza turned to me. “Andrew, did you know that Alice reads minds?” Fuck! Oh gods!

“Uh, no, I did not. Why? Did he say something?” As in, did he tell you I’m crazy about you? Because that would be a bad sign…

“Yes, lots of things!” Eliza laughed, and I forced a weak grin, trying not to pass out from terror as my pulse doubled. “Watching Alice talk with Patti, he’ll talk out loud, and Patti will just think, and he will ‘skim’ her thoughts, it’s fascinating! And once, he spoke directly into my mind!” I exhaled shakily. “I can see why he doesn’t speak into peoples’ minds often, it’s rather, uh, loud, I guess you could say.”

I nodded. “Well, that’s, uh, good to know. The arts of conjuration are certainly very, um, mysterious.” Fuck. Well, Alice seemed like a good guy, hopefully he hadn’t said anything. I wondered if Dani or Ash could do anything like that. Ugh.

I noticed a change in Eliza’s tone. “Yes, they are, indeed. Apparently Alice can learn the truth from the dead. As in, the actual truth, not what the dead person would have told you while living.” She paused. “That is why the Healers reduced our fees, Andrew.” Eliza offered no more. I nodded, and decided to ask no questions. Eliza could tell me of her past as she saw fit, when she was ready.

---

I set to work on putting away the provisions and clearing space in my dresser for Eliza to use for her clothes. It shouldn’t have given me a secret thrill to have an excuse to get to paw through Eliza’s underthings, but it did. Maybe especially that orange, satin brassiere. I was so glad she had gotten it... Ugh. I really shouldn't think about that right this moment, though.

“You have been very good to me, Andrew. Why?” Eliza tilted her head to the side slightly as she watched me intently, narrowing her eyes just a bit, waiting for my response. I saw she had already set my so-called ‘pants’ aside.

The question took me off-guard. We'd been over this, I thought. “Well, I mean, if you’re my ward, and since I’m a Second Officer, I figured, I mean-“ Eliza had stopped paying attention and was cleaning her nails with my dagger. That made me chuckle. Of course she’d use mine, not one of her fancy, new ones.

I paused. I knew the real reason. “Eliza, I have tried to help because I believe it is the right thing to do, and you deserve it. Also, because it is what I want to do, it makes me happy.” Now I had her attention again, and I smiled. “And you have yet to try and shank me in my sleep. At that point, I’ll reconsider.” I held my hand out for my dagger, and she gave it back, with a smile that melted my mind so completely, gods, I was lost in her emerald eyes.

I just stood there, holding my dagger, feeling like I had just missed an opportunity. Eliza was sorting through her clothes. Dammit… That wasn't the entirety of the reason, not anymore. Though I would continue to help her whether she returned my feelings or not.

I knew that I had to bring up the subject of my burgeoning feelings to Eliza before we retired, but I wasn’t sure how. I had only known her a short time, I was afraid she would think I was out of my mind, or only interested in sex. What if she misconstrued my intentions? I was loathe to even think about it, I preferred to move as slow as a mollusc, but I thought, no, I knew I had emotional… stirrings for Eliza. Fuck it. It was true, impossible as it seemed, I loved her. Not according to plan…

Well, I had feelings strong enough they couldn’t put off being addressed. Not only did I want to put the matter to rest, I had sworn a vow. Even if I hadn't sworn a vow, as a professional, it behooved me to get them out in the open and address them. I felt like an idiot teenager, completely captivated by a woman so quickly. But on a practical level, I hoped that, by bringing the subject up now, I’d be less of a, well, creep. I wanted to be straightforward with her and honest. I’d tell Eliza that I had unintentionally developed feelings that weren’t platonic, and had a physical attraction to her. I could… gauge her reaction. If appropriate, I could see if, possibly, I had caught her eye in any way. I hoped against hope that was the case, and she was just very reserved about such things. It seemed unlikely though, she wasn’t reserved in general. I would definitely leave out the L-word.

What concerned me was that I wanted Eliza to know I would be there for her, whether she was interested in me romantically or not. I was determined to be! Eliza had been dragged through the mud and needed someone to truly care for her, someone to keep her interests in mind, to be supportive and help her establish her new life, and I was resolved to be that person, to try help her make more friends, to find more good people that she could learn to trust and count on. I just hoped that maybe she might be interested in, eh, something more than friends, from me. Eliza had made me want to really live again. At least, around her. She was lively and funny and crass. Even given the inconvenience of having to deal with the constant erections. Hopefully there would be less of that, regardless of how this turned out.

How could I bring this up? I couldn’t very well say, ‘Sorry to rush things, but in addition to the incredible, genuine emotion connection I feel growing, I can’t seem to stop getting boners in your unclothed presence, and the frantic masturbation doesn’t seem to be alleviating the problem. So I feel like I have to bring this up sooner rather than later, my apologies. Perhaps if you crush the little smidgeon of hope I’ve been futilely nursing, I’ll be able to cope better with seeing your ripe breasts and luscious ass on a daily basis without being able to touch them?’

I looked to Crow for guidance. He was looking at Eliza, organizing her new clothes. I looked at Femme, she was ‘helping’ Eliza sort the aforementioned clothes. Fuck it, I would have to wing it, this had to be done. I approached Eliza.

Notes

i wonder how it will go? :D how do you think it will go? smoothly? ;D