*Andrew’s POV*

I chuckled. I didn't have to ask myself if my feelings for Eliza were genuine for long. Of course I loved Eliza! Anyone who didn't was a fool. Every man who had missed out, and, well, every woman too, if that was her preference, was a fucking idiot! And soon, I would make my bid, futile though it might be, because I had to at least try. Perhaps it would give me (and my genitals) some peace. But if I had my way, Eliza would want for nothing, including all the blind men that had missed their chance, as long as I was there, beside her. I couldn’t wait to show her the groves, the-

I was roused from my musing by Steven coughing lightly. "You alright, kid? Kindly take note, I'm over three feet away!"

I smiled. "Oh, fuck that, Steven, Eliza was just worried about, um-"

"-The girls that literally attack you, they want to hop on your dick so bad?" I nodded, chuckling. "Well, Andrew, you're a good-looking guy, but I'm a married man, so I'll have to restrain myself. Please forgive me, eh?" I groaned. "I take it Eliza's looking at intimate apparel."

My face turned red. "Uh..."

Steven shot me a knowing smile. "Andrew..."

I scowled at him. "Yes, yes, I know! It's blatantly obvious to everyone that I'm quite taken by her, ok, I know!" I made attempts to minimize my hair-fussing. "Everyone has told me so. No, I haven't told her yet. Yes, I'm going to tell her as soon as we get back to my, er, our shelter. And..." I fumed extra, irritated at everything. "Steven, Eliza is not attracted to me! This is futile! This is awful because I love her!"

Steven pursed his lips a little, then rubbed his chin. He contemplated me for a minute. "Andrew, it is never ‘futile’ to let someone know that you love them." He narrowed his sharp eyes at me. "Nothing ventured will lead to nothing gained."

I crumpled a little. "I know, but..." Steven paused, thinking again.

"Alright, well, since you're here, what would help you feel more confident? You need more confidence, kid." Steven gestured theatrically at the men's upper half of the store.

"Steven, I need you to help me look handsome." Steven scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Son, I should punch you in the motherfucking face. In fact, if I did, and mark my words- I would if I weren't afraid of Eliza removing the offending hand- most ladies and a lot of gents would still think you were some heroic, sex-machine badass just because you had a black eye!" Steven sniffed at me. “Kid, some ‘sex-machine,’ I doubt you’ve gotten your dick wet in years! You’re a cocky bastard, I know it, sure as shit, but your self-assurance with regards to the ladies is shot! Shit, man, you’re out of practice, all you’ve been doing is running, fucking literally, I’ve seen you do it, from every interested woman, for years! Motherfuck…”

Steven shook his head at me, then sighed as I turned pink. "Andrew, you are already the best-looking motherfucker I know, probably that anyone knows. You don't need help in the handsome department."

I shrugged. I didn’t care if the entire Forest thought I was the sexiest Fae known to man, fuck that. I only wanted the attention of one woman. A woman who I was beginning to suspect was possibly a lesbian- I was determined to find out. "Um, I thought, maybe some pants? Eliza has this thing with my butt-" Steven laughed.

"C'mon, you love-sick puppy! That, I can help you with!" Steven had some interesting ideas about pants indeed... Would the Night Watch take me seriously dressed like a male prostitute?

---

"Ask Eliza what she thinks! Get a woman’s opinion on the matter." Steven had that knowing quality to his voice. I wondered- should I trust him? He was right- I hadn’t really tried to navigate romantic interactions with a woman in so long. I hadn’t made an effort to look appealing, to attract someone’s attention, in the same amount of time. I found myself, perversely, wishing Juliet were there to help. I gripped my dragonfly pendant and peered in the mirror again. Gods, I missed her. She would tell me honestly what my butt looked like.

I didn't want to leave the dressing room. You could most definitely see the outline of my cock in the pants Steven had picked out! You could practically see the ridge of the head, it was scandalous! It was like wearing paint! "Steven!"

I turned to contemplate my buttocks again in the mirror. They were small, dammit! But not flabby... What did this mean? Was that good, or was I supposed to have a bigger ass? I didn’t know anything about what constituted a desirable butt on a man.

At that unfortunate juncture, Eliza came bursting in, unannounced, making me squawk horribly and cover up. "No-no-no!" Eliza clucked at me, pulling my hands away from my crotch. "Show off the goods, Andrew! Turn around! Work it, buddy, yeah!"

Ashamed, I turned around, aware that I was more or less naked, these so-called black 'pants' were a total farce. Feeling vulnerable and foolish, I looked at my boots. "What do you think? Pretty silly, huh?"

Eliza didn't say anything right away, so I chanced a glance up at her. I got a surprise when I found her eyeing my package hungrily, licking her lips. She looked at me, and it was so heated, I felt my skin ignite. "Not at all. They flatter your considerable attributes, Second Officer."

'Take her, right now!' Said one part of my mind. (Well, not my mind... The other head, which was swiftly increasing in size.) 'Run! Flee!' Said another part of me. 'Tell her thank you!' Said another. 'She's kidding, if you act as though this is anything but another joke, this will bite you in the ass!' Said another. And so on...

Ultimately, I stuttered, "Gughh?"

Eliza smiled brightly, all intensity suddenly gone. "Great, I'll tell Steven you'll take two pair!" With that, she turned around and went out the curtain, leaving me with the beginnings of yet another painfully obvious boner.

Moments later, Steven waltzed in with more small bits of leather and cloth masquerading as pants and burst out laughing. "Hey kid, I'm happy to see you too, but I thought we discussed this: I'm a married man."

"Gods, Steven, will you shut up?!?" I hated this!

"Tut-tut, just try on the pants. If you splooge in them, you buy them!" I rolled my eyes and snatched the horrid pants, shooing him out. Hopefully some of these were slightly more substantial.

---

*Eliza’s POV*

I was so confused. It was getting hard to concentrate on picking out clothing, to focus on getting the right amount for two weeks. I knew Andrew’s last partner, Jules, had been male. And quite a few times, I had been so sure several people, including Andrew, had indicated he preferred the sole company of men. But Andrew hadn’t reacted in a way I’d expect a gay man to react to quite a few things... I could have sworn I’d caught him looking at my chest appreciatively…

Shit! I knew the dangers of wanting something so badly, you looked for it until you saw it, perhaps better than anyone. The odds of Andrew being bisexual struck me as low. Either way, he’d made it very clear he wasn’t interested in women. But… I decided I’d ask him a question or two once we got back to the shelter. To test the very edge of the waters; the very outer edge.

I resolved to get clothing that was practical and utilitarian, but maybe let the girls hang out a little bit. Just in case. I got a few pairs of pants and a few kilts. Socks, undergarments, a few sexier items… I found a nice, traditional kilt and vest for ceremonial events. Steven helped me pick out a few little baubles for my hair, a bracelet, and an armband.

With everything of mine picked out, I went to check on Andrew. Oooo! This pair looked better than good too. All enemies would surely surrender on sight! “What do you think of these? I mean, compared to the others?”

I snickered. What I was thinking was- ‘Had I known these pants existed, I would have insisted we came here yesterday, why have you been wearing kilts?’ Along with, ‘Thank you, Steven!’

“I’m not sure, Andrew, take your damned hands off your package and do a little jig in a circle, so I can see better. I’m serious! Dance around a little so I can see how they move!” Was it necessary that my commanding Officer dance in a circle for me to assess the fit of his potential pants purchase? Absolutely not. But it was so fabulous to see!

I kept a straight face, eyes on his butt and genitals. “Hmmm… I think they fit very well too! How do they feel?”

“Like I’m fucking naked, Eliza, you don’t think-“ No way I was letting Andrew gain momentum!

“-Perfect! That will help you move stealthily, without hindrance!” Now I needed to get Andrew the fuck out of the shop before he noticed the pants I’d picked were not at all like that. I’d never be caught dead in pants where you lost circulation trying to access a pocket! Besides- my method of moving stealthily was generally to find the poor soul that had overheard me blundering along noisily and kill them before they told anyone I was there. “Two pairs of these as well?”

Andrew looked at me shyly. “You really like them, think they look ok? I mean, they don’t look too scandalous for an Officer?”

“Andrew, you’re just stuck in a rut. They look great, so did the other pair .They show off your excellent physique, if that’s what you mean, but they’re not inappropriate. I mean, they’re form-fitting, but if they weren’t, they could easily snag or fuck shit up, especially given that you’re a melee fighter, that’s your strength. I mean, right?” I poked Andrew in the side, making him smile.

“My ‘excellent physique,’ huh? Definitely tell Steven I’ll take two pairs, then.” Andrew chuckled, his bright eyes sparkling that crazy cobalt. I nodded and smiled, having to remind myself not to stare, and left so he could get his kilt back on.

Notes

so- yay for frequent updates! but...

*sigh*

i'm holding this story hostage until a friend of mine updates one of my favorites for me. i've waited a month, and this is my last update for a while until she updates hers. sorry guys. i'll still work on writing ahead (there's like 30 pages of this all pre-written :D), but mostly i'm going to work on my other stories, LOJ and succubus.

because, like, NW-Andrew, i like getting what i want. and i don't like it when a huge novel-length story gets abruptly virtually abandoned out of fear of finishing something great. lame-sauce. not finishing it at all is much worse. i'm forgetting all the characters and plot more and more each day, and i don't have time to re-read 400+ pages...

so get on it woman! and i don't mean one update and then nothing for another month. i mean take care of business like the badass that you are!