The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

I had called Dr. Cameron, and she had been thrilled at the idea of getting to come back from maternity leave two weeks early. She was less thrilled at the idea of having a higher percentage of exotics clients, but I reassured her that she could text or call any time. She told me just to text her to let me know how it went with Dr. Gray, the practice owner and our boss, so she would know whether to come in on Monday. I had thanked her profusely and she had said all she wanted in exchange was a coffee or beer when she finished nursing, which made me laugh. Dr. Cameron was pretty cool. She was pretty vanilla, but she was a good doctor, and had always treated me fairly. And now she was saving my ass.

Now came the wild card, Dr. Gray. An old-school veterinarian in his 60s, he was bored with general practice and these days mostly just saw consultations for orthopedic procedures. He did TPLOs and his own procedure for torn CCLs that he had patented. Why he didn’t take the time to get board certified as a surgeon, I’m not sure. Away from clients, he was a bit gruff, and swore almost as much as I did. We shared a love of classic rock. When we did run into each other, we would bond especially over our love of ZZ Top and George Thorogood. It irritated him to no end that he was a big fan of Led Zeppelin, and I only liked some of their songs. He had kind of a temper. One time he came across a client being extremely rude to one of our receptionists, which happens all the time, it’s just not common for him to see it. He got in a huge argument, telling the guy he had ‘mental problems,’ and firing the client. Suffice to say, many years in practice has made him unique to work for.

And there was a reason I was asking Dr. Gray for vacation, instead of calling Jeanine, the Practice Manager, as much as it might piss her off later. Dr. Gray liked me, and I had a feeling that he would think going on tour with a rock band was awesome. I took a breath and called him.

DG: “Hey kid, what’s up?”

G: “Dr. Gray-“

DG: “Gwyn, please, we’ve been over this. Bob is fine.” I always forget, it’s so hard to get used to…

G: “Of course, um, Bob. I hate to bother you on a weekend, but I wanted to ask you a scheduling question, if that’s alright?” Shit, I was really nervous.

DG: “Ugh. Shoot.”

G: “So, I, um…” Fuck it. “I would like two weeks off so I can go on tour with a rock band called the Black Veil Brides-“

DG: “Hahahaha!” His throaty laughter wasn’t mad-sounding, at least…

G: “Doc-Bob, don’t panic! Dr. Cameron has already said she would be glad to return from maternity leave starting on Monday and cover all of my shifts for that time period.” It didn’t sound like Dr. Gray was panicking, I was panicking. Shit. This is not how I had hoped this would go…

DG: “Gwyn, do you have any idea how pissed my daughter is at you?” Eh? What the fuck?

G: “Georgia? Why?” He just laughed for a while before going on.

DG: “Georgia is a Black Veil Brides fan, Gwyn. She’s been moping around the house all day, sulking about Andy and his mystery woman on Twitter. Cute pic, by the way.” My stomach dropped and I felt dizzy.

G: “I…um…”

DG: “Relax. Name me three Led Zeppelin songs you actually like, and you can go.” He chuckled. “And, no, you can’t use Stairway. Too easy.” Yes!

G: “No sweat. ‘Immigrant song,’ ‘Kashmir,’ and ‘Gallows Pole.’ You want more? ‘Hey, Hey, What can I Do,’ and ‘All of My Love.’ For good measure.” I waited, feeling cheeky and hopeful.

DG: “Ok, ok, I’m impressed, young padawan. Sounds like you need to get started on packing. But do me a favor and ask Andy if he would sign something for my daughter, wouldja? I’d be a fucking shitty dad if I didn’t ask- she really is a big fan. You should see her bedroom walls, haha!” I imagined posters from Kerrang or Revolver, featuring a smirking Andy, and a goo-goo eyed Georgia (Dr. Gray always described her as ultra-cantankerous), and giggled.

G: “Absolutely, of course. Thank you so much, Bob.”

DG: “Yeah, no prob. I’ll take care of Jeanine, don’t worry about it. Have fun, and we’ll see you in two weeks, kid!” With that he hung up, and I was in the clear! I texted Dr. Cameron, starting to get excited.

Notes

QOTD: Have any super-suave pick-up lines?

so i just got my dvm on sunday. so now i can use the following:

'babe, i don't just play doctor. i am a doctor.'

*chuckle* so suave...