The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

*Gwyn’s POV*

Andy was such a cutie. I could tell whenever he was jonesing for a cigarette because the frequency with which he’d mess with his hair, then stare out the window without saying anything, looking all maudlin, would go up dramatically. “Dude, I told you, you can fucking smoke, just roll down the motherfucking window.” I paused for a moment, the devil of temptation whispering in my ear. Nom-nom-nom…

I glanced at Andy as he lit his stupid Marlboro. It should have looked disgusting, because Marlboros were disgusting. He had terrible taste in cigarettes! If you were going to do something absolutely lethal and carcinogenic, why the bloody fuck would you do it with those? Four out of the six original Marlboro Men had fucking died from smoking-related diseases, they tasted like shit, and they didn’t last very long besides!

But… right then, that filthy, additive-filled, little roll of tobacco smelled sexy. Sexier even than Andy. Nyess...

I kept my eyes on the road and gritted my teeth as a bit more smoke wafted my way before Andy got the window down. Guh-aawd… “We’re on to the next section: music. What was your first concert?” The fucking heavenly aroma! “Gwyn?” Mmmmm…

I peeked briefly at Andy. There was no sense in trying to look cute or beguiling. I wasn’t a ‘cutesie’ person. This would either work or not. “Can I please have a drag?” I smiled, trying not to look too desperate. Or homicidal, for that matter.

I glanced at Andy again. Oh shit! He looked unsure, maybe he thought this might be some kind of girlfriend-test. I couldn’t take it! “Gahh! Andy, dammit, please! Please just give me the cigarette, just one drag!”

I didn’t have to look to sense his sassy eyebrow action. Hmph! “I don’t have a problem bumming you cigarettes, or sharing, whatever. But I want to make sure you don’t have a problem with it either, Doc.” He paused theatrically. “Are we good?”

“Yes! Besides, I just want a wee piffle.” I sulked a little, embarrassed and feeling weak. I supposed I really should give that stupid gum more of a try, but having Andy in the damned car with me was really too much!

I felt Andy take my right hand in his and put his cigarette in it. I rolled my window down and took two drags, which were positively divine! Then I gave his bloody Marb right back, feeling kind of like a loser, but much better. “Alanis Morrisette, when she was touring for Jagged Little Pill.” Andy straight up laughed. “Shut up, dude! See if I go down on you in a theatre now, Hot-shot!”

Predictably, Andy stopped laughing, though I wasn’t sure if he was even old enough to get the reference. Honestly, I wasn’t really a ‘hey, I’m at a movie, let’s engage in oral sex’ kind of person. Movies were so fucking expensive, if I had paid for it, head could fucking well wait! Besides, Washington State Law didn’t exactly smile on veterinarians in particular engaging in ‘moral turpitude.’ If I were arrested doing something like that, I’d lose my license for good. I’d rather just watch the motherfucking movie.

Andy finished writing. “I, uh, went with family to this amusement park called King’s Island, it’s in Ohio, to see Billy Idol at their Timber Wolf Amphitheatre, it’s outdoors. I was just a kid, and he re-started ‘Rebel Yell’ a bunch of times to get it just right, and I thought it was totally badass!”

“Dude, that’s awesome, I love Billy Idol!” I was grinning like a fool. Then Andy asked a question I had figured was coming, and been a little anxious about.

“Yeah? What other music do you like?” My stomach clenched into a little ball and I almost felt sick. Andy probably knew some of my favorite musicians. Probably, uh, no, definitely, some of them were assholes. Music was his life, he was sure to have very strong opinions. I also had my own very strong opinions. Shit. I was afraid of imminent judgment and failure. “Um…”

I must have made a weird face or taken too long to answer. “There isn’t a wrong answer, Gwyn. I’m guessing a lot of people you’ll meet will ask you the same question, I mean, just by virtue of what I do, so maybe you could think about what you’ll want to say and practice with me?” Andy reached over and squeezed my leg. I noticed he did it distally and smiled. He was learning!

I thought about it. I decided to start vague. “I like a lot of different stuff. I dunno. Rock, metal, classic rock, hard rock, blues, some classical, even a little country, some other things here and there, you know.” I pointed at the cd case that was wedged in the door. “Look through there, I guess.”

Andy picked up the case and started paging through, making me nervous. He sounded amused. “Do you have every album of ours in here?”

I chuckled. “No! ‘Rebels’ and the stuff from before you were signed are at home and on my phone.” I glanced at Andy and saw he was making with the eyebrow at me. “What was that for? I love ‘The Gunsling’ and I don’t want to hear it if you hate it, Biersack! Even if it is a little weird to pull a man out of your holster!” Andy chuffed. “Or am I a bad girlfriend because I don’t have a hard copy of every damned thing you’ve ever done in my car? Is that why you’re giving me shit? Whatever, Hot-shot, enough from the peanut gallery! Onto your answer!” Andy snorted.

I was feeling impudent. “I know a thing or two about some of the music you like, buddy!” Understatement, but I figured, Andy didn’t need to know that I was a bit of a creeper. “I know you started out early with the older rock bands like KISS and Mötley Crüe, but at some point you went and saw younger bands like Alkaline Trio and AFI, right?”

Andy nodded. “Yes, oh mistress-fangirl-trivia-master. My dad was also in punk bands that played with, like, the Misfits, Lords of the New Church, for example, so that was another kind of, uh, scene I got exposed to. In terms of now, I mean, there’s so much music around me, constantly, I have a really hard time keeping up. Sometimes I’m hesitant to say I really like a newer band, you know, in print, unless I really know the people in it, and know they’re not sketchy. I mean, like, just for example, I always check out stuff Matt Good does, because he’s my friend, he’s a cool guy.”

Andy scribbled quickly for a while as I drove. I actually knew pretty well what music Andy liked, but fuck if I was going to tell him that, uh, right this second. I wasn’t going to lie or anything about anything. However, I felt like perhaps gradual exposure to my insanity regarding my somewhat encyclopedic knowledge of his public persona might be the way to go. “So, what interested you about rock music in particular?”

“Uh, do you mean, like, what band?” Andy shrugged. I thought about it for a second, going all the way back to middle school.

“Shit, I think all the credit for that has to go to Metallica, really. I don’t remember the specifics anymore, but the summer after fifth or sixth grade, I heard them on the radio, and that was it, it was all over. I remember I carried around the lyrics to ‘The Unforgiven’ in my backpack for years, I fucking love that song. It was kind of funny, because I had this super early growth spurt, I’ve been this tall since I was in fifth grade. And then everyone decided I was this ultra-scary metalhead in middle school, because that was when girls were taller than boys, remember? So other little kids would try and convince me to go beat other kids up for them, just because I was the size of a house compared to everyone else my age, it was bizarre!” I shook my head at the memories, and Andy laughed.

“Well, I guess you did take out that one dude-“ I protested vigorously.

“I don’t sock people in the genitals on a regular basis, ok? He was fucking disrespecting you guys, this dickcheese who’s supposedly a fan, and then he fucking knocked me on my ass, he laid hands on me first! Sheeshcamongies!” I huffed as Andy chortled. “Well, what did you like especially about rock music?”

“Well, when I was really little, I mean, like, 6, I just liked the imagery I found when I was messing around with the KISS trading cards and stuff of my dad’s. Later on, I found out it also sounded cool, and it kind of went from there.”

“Damn, dude. When I was 6 I was probably listening to Rafi or some shit, I don’t remember like a damned thing from that age. I have a terrible fucking memory. I should probably take ginkgo biloba or whatever the fuck that shit is called.” Andy put his cigarette out in the little soda can ashtray, and I felt a mournful twinge. No more second hand for Gwyn!

“What’s your favorite song to sing along to?” Hmmm. I narrowed my eyes. Was this a trap? “Oh, come on! I don’t mean in front of me, just whenever, by yourself, I’m just curious.”

Well, I supposed there was no harm in telling Andy. He couldn’t make me. “You're awfully fucking curious, Mr. Biersack! Should I be worried?" I grinned. "I love to sing along to ‘The Unforgiven,’ and ‘Flesh is the Law.’” I rolled my eyes when the latter got me an expectant, blank look. “’Flesh is the Law’ is a Genitorturers song, fool! Holy fuck, have you not heard it? I can’t believe this! How can you be a modern ultra-sex symbol if you haven’t heard ‘Flesh is the Law,’ Andy? How?” I shook my head, totally disgusted. “Biersack, you must be really naturally sexy, because you’re missing the fuck out, bro.”

Andy looked suitably chastened. “I dunno about 'ultra-sex-symbol,' but, uh, is it in the case? If you tell me what it looks like-“

I was horrified! “No, Andy, no!” He paused in his search, confused. “You can’t listen to something I love, for the first time, like, with me right here! It would be weird and awkward! You’re a musician, Hot-shot! And this is no ordinary song, Andy, it’s ‘Flesh is the Law!’ Shit, I’m not going to dump you if you don’t like it. But it would probably affect my driving and you bet your tight little ass I’d be upset because I’d think your taste in music was fucking terrible!”

Andy snorted, amused and perhaps mildly terrified. “So, for the rest of our lives, we can never listen to music together? This could be a challenge-”

“-No, it’s just that, I mean, you probably know all this technical stuff or whatever, I mean, who even knows if you even enjoy music like everyone else does anymore, or if you have weird musician ears-“ Andy laughed.

“-Gwyn, it doesn’t matter if your taste is different from mine or not. If it weren’t, that would be weird, right?” I nodded agreement.

“Yeah, but, Andy, dude…” I took a deep breath. “This is one of the finest songs, of one of the finest bands I love. I’m sorry, but if you fail to appreciate it, your taste in music is vastly inferior to my own. Thus, I put forward the strong suggestion that you listen to it on my phone later, ok?” I glanced at him, and saw he had an impish look. Ugh, he had found ‘Flesh is the Law’ in my cd case! “Don’t you want to finish your questions, Hot-shot? What song do you like to sing along to?”

“Hrmmm, point taken.” I heard Andy tucking away my cd case. “I guess, aside from Black Veil songs, um… Right now, I like to sing along to, well, obviously, ‘Rebel Yell,’ but the Misfits is a lot of fun too, like ‘Dig Up Her Bones,’ stuff like that. I saw you had a Crüe compilation album in your cd case-’ oh shit! “-what’s your favorite album of theirs?”

I shrank. Andy fucking knew the dudes in Mötley Crüe, for fuck’s sake, and I’d been caught, red-handed. Of course I’d been meaning to get the rest of their discography, but I’d been meaning to do a lot of things… Motherfucker! I just hadn’t seen anything like this happening! “God fucking damn it, that’s the only one I have! I’m sorry!”

Andy just laughed. “Don’t be! I suggest starting with ‘Generation Swine.’ Look, we’ve made it to another section-“ Andy sounded excited.

“-Yeah? Are we getting there, like, making progress?” I glanced at Andy, wondering how many sections he could possibly have. I was hoping we’d be done soon, I had embarrassed myself enough, though it was definitely cool learning more about Andy. This was like get-to-know-your-new-boyfriend: the hustle round. He hadn’t struck me as the type of guy to make such a, well, anal-retentive list. I stood corrected. It was like something my mother would do.

Notes

QOTD:

1- can you name the four Marlboro men that died of smoking-related disease? (uh, yes... but that would ruin it if i did)
2- what was your first concert? same as Gwyn
3- what music do you like? (i've answered this several times before, let me know if you really want me to again)
4- what interested you about rock music in particular? same as Gwyn, more or less
5- what're your favorite songs to sing along to? 'the unforgiven' by metallica, 'flesh is the law' by the genitorturers, 'the fighter' by in this moment are the big three that come to mind because they're in my range (though i sing part of 'the fighter' an octave lower than maria cause i'm kind of a man, haha!)
6- favorite motley crue album - for shame! same as Gwyn, i only have decade of decadence! :o(

almost forgot: check out these videos i took when i went to see Cradle of Filth, the Butcher Babies, and Ne Obliviscaris in Seattle the other day! what a great show!

Cradle of Filth play 'Nymphetamine' at the Showbox in Seattle on 2/23/16

Short clip of the Butcher Babies playing part of 'Igniter' at the Showbox in Seattle on 2/23/16