Love And Other Drugs
The Ghosts Of You and Me
The night was silent, the only sound filtering through was the low din of the cars passing by on the freeway. The stars were out in full force, something that was rarely seen in LA, but being out in the middle of nowhere in Nebraska tended to help. Andy cleared his throat as he looked around him-they were completely alone on the roof of this bus and that was kind of how he liked it.
He and Luxe had made it a habit of always coming up here-no matter how cold-after every show to just get away. The girls in THD really liked to party and while Andy could appreciate having some fun, he didn't like seeing Luxe abuse drugs.
So he had devised a plan for them-to keep Luxe sober and away from the chaos, every night after meeting with some fans the two of the would climb on top of the BVB bus and just sit. To his bandmates it sounded lame, but to Andy it was everything. They talked about things, told one another things that no one else knew and they shared their deepest and darkest secrets.
Now the two of them were wrapped under the same blanket and Andy had an arm wrapped around Luxe's shoulders to try and keep her warm. The small girl had her head resting on his shoulder, her pale grey eyes staring up towards the night sky and she sighed softly.
"You alright over there?" Andy asked and smiled as Luxe sat up and looked at him. Her grey eyes were makeup free-a look that he liked more and more-and he could see the stars reflected in her pale orbs.
"Fine, just tired. It's hard to believe that this tour is almost over..." She said as she looked at him, taking in every curve of his face, ever freckle and feature. How could she love someone so much, but not be able to tell them?
"Well we still have the UK, Europe and Australia to get through, but nice try." Andy said, smirking and then chuckling as Luxe whined and rested her head back against his chest.
"Don't remind me..." Luxe groaned, running a hand through her tangled hair. She hated the thought of having to be on the road for much longer-she missed a real bed and her old life.
"Don't even act like you don't like being on a big rockstar bus and running around the country, living it up and performing for people." Andy said and then stopped talking as he realized that Luxe was shaking slightly-she was crying.
Fuck. What had he said this time to make her cry? Andy didn't know what to do, so he just pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head and looked up at the sky. They were in this weird place right now-they cared deeply for one another, but was it love? Andy thought that he could possibly love this girl, but she seemed to want to keep him at arms length. He knew that she had been through a lot with a guy in the past and Andy could respect that. His heart was still holding on to Scout, even though his ex was happy and in love with someone else, he couldn't help his feelings.
Keeping her close, Andy thought carefully about what he needed to say.
Should he comfort her? Or should he just let her cry it out and keep a tight hold on her? They sat there in silence and Andy just allowed Luxe to cry. He knew that sometimes crying was the only way to get things out and he couldn't keep from smirking as several hiccups escaped Luxe's lips. She sniffled, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her hoodie before looking up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot, but they were still as beautiful and magnetic as ever. Andy closed his eyes as his lips pressed against her forehead and then he quickly pulled away to look down at her.
"You wanna talk about it?" Andy asked and watched as Luxe bit down on her lip and stared at him. Her eyes were saying yes, but he could tell by her hesitance that the girl wasn't sure.
"I dunno why I did that Andy-I...I'm sorry." She said and he only smiled at her softly and shook his head.
"Never be sorry for showing an emotion Luce...it's what makes you so good at what you do." He said and Luxe only looked at him. His black bangs, still damp from his shower, were hanging in front of his blue eyes and she said nothing as she moved a finger to swipe them out of the way.
"And what am I good at?" She asked, pulling the blanket around her shoulders more as she tried to keep her hands to herself. Touching Andy was too much of a temptation-it was too much in general.
"Performing. I've never see a female get up on stage and do what you do Luce..." Andy said and she couldn't help but notice the blush that was now coloring his cheeks. Even in the near darkness Luxe could see Andy clearly-he was perfect.
"I'm not that good Andy...I'm a novice." She said and Andy only shook his head. Luxe didn't believe in herself, but he knew-he had seen-that she was the most talented person he had ever met.
"You have a voice unlike any I have ever heard Luce. The depth and soul with which you sing is mesmerizing and heart breaking all at the same time. I-I've never seen anyone like you before Luce..." Andy said honestly and he felt his blush creep up his neck even more.
"And yet this was not something I had ever wanted for my life." She said simply and Andy only looked at her. He knew that Luxe hadn't sought out the Dolls or Alex, but he honestly couldn't believe that this wasn't something she was meant to do. She was too good not to be destined for it.
"Let's play a game." Andy suggested, wrapping an arm around her tightly as he pulled Luxe to him. She didn't fight it and it made him happy to see that Luxe fit perfectly in his arms.
"What kind of game were you thinking?" She asked, her tone guarded. Everything was going so well that she would hate for it to be ruined by Andy being a pig.
"Not that sort of game. If you could be anything else...anything in this world...what would you be?" He asked, laughing at her dirty mind.
Luxe thought for a moment, thought back to a time almost a year ago when she knew exactly what she had wanted to be. A teacher, a writer...something where she could be surrounded by the books that she loved and was able to possibly contribute to the world of the written word.
Luxe had always liked tutoring in school-she had helped plenty of football players in school get their grades up, but she had never gotten much out of it in the way of popularity. That had given her the idea of becoming a teacher-helping kids learn to read and write would give her life meaning, something she had desperately been seeking.
The Alex had walked in to her life and it had all gone to shit.
"A teacher or a writer." Luxe said after a few moments of thought and Andy was taken aback. He knew that Luxe had been in college before joining the Dolls, but he hadn't know about her wanting to be a teacher.
"Really?" He said, mild shock lacing his words.
"Surprised?" She said , a giggle to her words as she looked up at him.
"A little. I always saw you as a painter...or an actress." He said and Luxe shook her head. She could barely draw a stick figure-her passions had always been in writing.
"Nope. I've always loved writing. Reading takes you to another world and my world wasn't always the best one to be in. I wanted to someday help others feel the same way." Luxe explained and Andy stayed silent for a moment.
Andy knew that Luxe loved books-they had often lapsed in to conversations about the various books that they loved, but he had never thought about them in that way. He had had a good upbringing, with good parents who were always there for him and always would be. But Luxe had been alone a lot of her life, fending for herself and it would make sense that she would lean on books to help her through. Andy wished he had been there for Luxe when they had been teens-maybe then she wouldn't of felt so alone and neither would he.
"What about you? If you weren't the sexy and irresistible singer of Black Veil Brides-what would you be doing?" Luxe asked and Andy only smiled. He had never thought about it and honestly he didn't have an answer.
"Batman." He said in all seriousness.
"Andy be serious." Luxe laughed and he only smirked at her.
"I am! I don't think I could do anything else with my life Luxe...except maybe start a family one day." He said the last part very quietly and Luxe swallowed the lump in her throat.
"A-a family?" Luxe said and Andy only smirked.
"One day, but not any time soon. What about you? Will someone call you mommy one day?" He said, tugging her close and pressing his lips against the top of her head. They sat there for a moment and Luxe found herself growing sad.
Honestly she had never thought about having kids or being a mom. For some reason it just didn't feel like something she was meant to do.
"Yeah...some day..." She said as she pressed her head against his chest and they both grew silent as they looked off towards the night sky. It was so peaceful out here except for the low buzzing that kept beeping on and off in her head...
Luxe slowly opened her eyes, nearly choking as the slow stream of air came down from her nose and moved towards her throat. She had a tube up her nose and as she looked around she noticed that there were a few people surrounding her. Why were there people in her hotel room? Luxe thought back to the last thing she remembered, but the only thing filling her head was the memory of she and Andy up on the roof of that bus.
Those had been some of the best nights of her life, sitting there with Andy and just being open and honest about everything-except that one question about her future. Luxe hadn't wanted to disappointed Andy by telling him that she couldn't see herself being a mom...she just couldn't.
But now there were people rushing around her, excitement filling the room and finally Luxe was able to recognize some of the people. Alex was sitting across from her, with Char by his side and both of them looked relieved as they stared at her. Pixie and Lulu were in the corner, beaming at one another and then at Luxe. Mads was pacing around the room and suddenly Luxe remembered everything.
The drinking, the pills and the huge shot of Heroine that had knocked her on her ass. Luxe felt the tears spring to her eyes as she finally realized what had happened and she felt ashamed.
She had overdosed...she had almost died and there was no denying now that she had a problem.
All of the people in the room were looking at her with relief on their faces, but the one person missing was the only person she wanted to see...
So she survived...but now it's hit Luxe that Andy really is gone.
Review to see if he'll come back<3