Gift of Love

Four days later, all of what the band’s haters called the BVB Brats were over at Jinxx and Sammi’s house with CC, Amy, and Sammi. Ash had begged his friend to take his kids for the night, Sammi offering up her house and Amy her assistance in caring for them, because he needed a night alone. He couldn’t go another night listening to them cry tears of depression from missing their daddy, as it only made his depression worse.

He hadn’t had to tame this dragon since shortly after he and Andy met, and he was finding it harder than ever now. His hormones were out of control due to his pregnancy, which wouldn’t have helped, even if he weren’t depressed in the past. Because of said pregnancy, he was unable to take any kind of anti-depressant for fear of hurting his unborn child, and that just made the emotional pain he was suffering worse, in and of itself. But to hear his children crying themselves to sleep, and loudly at that…it broke his heart worse than his husband flying overseas to tour did by itself.

With the house nice and quiet for the first time in a week, he decided to draw himself a bubble bath to relax again. After that scare with his blood pressure dropping too low the previous month, he did everything possible to keep it in a normal range. He was terrified of it dropping too low, or worse yet, sky-rocketing before the baby’s birth. Being alone right now would be a bad thing if it were to drop or sky-rocket because, unless he were to call EMS, he wouldn’t have a way to the hospital. As stressed as he’d been the past few days, he felt like it might be climbing a little too high for his own good, so he figured something relaxing like a bubble bath might help bring it back down the range he’d been trying to keep it in.

As he sat in the tub, soaking in the warm water and playing with the bubbles that almost reached his chin, Ash sighed softly. He’d taken his wedding set off before he got in the tub as he always did, so he could only rub his bare finger rather than twist the rings around on it. Whether he wore his wedding set or not, he missed his husband with a vengeance, one that he couldn’t describe, and couldn’t wait for him to get back home. Only then would he be his normal self again.

“Ohhh, fuck,” he moaned, leaning on the wall for support as he got out of the tub. “This isn’t good.”

The moment he’d stood up, he’d felt like his blood pressure dropped because of how light-headed he got, but felt the blood pounding through his temples like he had a migraine from Hell. The only thing he could think of off the top of his head, what with being a musician, not a doctor, that could cause that would be a spike in blood pressure.

Before he could pass out, Ash quickly dried himself off and got dressed in a pair of loose pajama pants and an old wife beater, then slid his wedding set on. Clearly trying to relax tonight wasn’t going to work, and with precious cargo on board, so to speak, he knew that he needed to get help. He stumbled out to the bed, which he flopped down on, and grabbed his phone. Thankfully, the kids weren’t here to witness this fiasco, or he wouldn’t have forgiven himself for scaring them. Thanking every deity he could think of that they and his husband were safe, he quickly dialed the three numbers he’d hoped he’d never have to.

“Los Angeles County EMS. What is your emergency?” a woman asked, having answered his call.

“My name is Ashley Biersack, and I need an ambulance,” he answered, trying to keep himself calm.

“Okay, ma’am. What’s wrong?” she asked.

“That’s sir, actually,” he told her, managing a soft chuckle. “I think my blood pressure might’ve spiked, and I’m pregnant.”

“Are you sure you’re male?” She wasn’t asking in a condescending way, but more so to make sure she relayed the correct information.

“Absolutely. I have a biological ‘gift’ that only about ten percent of the population has,” Ash answered.

“That makes a bit more sense.” There was a moment of silence as she put the information he gave her into the system. “How many weeks pregnant are you?”

“Twenty-seven.” He groaned as the baby kicked his lowest rib hard enough to hurt.

“Are you contracting or anything?” the dispatcher asked, having heard his groan.

“No, that was just a painful kick to my ribs,” he answered.

“Have you had any issues like this before?”

“No. My first pregnancy was smooth sailing, and I didn’t know I was pregnant the second time until I went into labor. I was never hospitalized for anything blood pressure-related until about a month and a-half ago.”

“So this isn’t your first pregnancy, then?”

“No, it’s my third.” He had to lay back against his pillows because the dizziness suddenly got worse. “My blood pressure dropped dangerously low for someone who’s not pregnant a few days after New Year’s.”

The dispatcher then asked for his address so she’d know where to send the ambulance he’d requested, knowing that time could very well be of the essence. Even if he weren’t pregnant, high blood pressure is never good for a person, but with a little one that depended on him for everything…they couldn’t wait too long to get him the help he needed, and she knew it.

“Are you on the first or second story of your home?” the dispatcher, who’d told him her name was Haily, asked.

“Second. I’m in the master bedroom,” Ash answered.

“Do you think you can get downstairs to unlock the door, if it’s locked?” she asked. “If not, is it okay if they break the door down so they can get to you?”

“Tell ’em to break it down. I know it’s locked because I made sure it was before I came up here, and I’m too scared I’ll pass out if I get up,” he told her.

“All right, Ashley. I want you to stay on the phone with me until the paramedics get there.”

Just to keep him talking and make sure that he was as stable as she could from afar, Haily continued asking him questions. They were about his health, how he was feeling, what his children were like, and anything else she could think of, just to make sure he didn’t pass out before the ambulance arrived. No more than half an hour later, he told her he heard sirens coming up his street, and it wasn’t long before she could hear them through the open bedroom window. Knowing that they were close enough to be heard, she made sure they were breaking down his front door before she let him hang up.

Right after ending the call, Ash heard his front door slam against the wall next to it, likely leaving a decent-sized hole in the drywall. He sighed as he rested his hands on his belly, trying not to let the dizziness overcome him, as several pairs of work boots stomped up his staircase. Someone called out to locate him since they weren’t sure which room was the master bedroom, and he responded as loudly as he could.

Moments later, two men in blue uniforms came through his bedroom door with a stretcher between them, a woman following behind with still more supplies. They stopped at the foot of the bed, where they lowered the stretcher to the floor, then came over to where he was laying on his side of the bed. It took both men to help him sit up, then keep him up since he was feeling so light-headed that he just wanted to lay down, but he did his best to cooperate with them.

“We’re gonna help you onto the stretcher now, okay?” one of the men, Josh, told him.

“Just don’t let me fall,” he begged, clutching their arms for dear life. “I don’t wanna hurt my baby.”

“We’re not gonna let you fall, Ashley,” the second man, Jason, promised him. “On the count of three, we’re gonna help you stand up. One, two, three!”

With every ounce of strength they could muster, the two guys hauled him to his feet and steadied him while the woman got the stretcher ready for him.

“You ready to walk to the foot of the bed?” Josh asked him.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Ash answered, nodding.

“Move, Sierra,” Jason said, addressing the woman for the first time. Now that he was close enough to see her clearly, he realized it was the nurse who’d cared for him throughout his first pregnancy back in Ohio.

“Sierra? What’re you doing out here in California?” he asked, shocked.

“I thought I recognized you, Ashley,” she chuckled, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm. “Drs. Morgan and Hicks set up a private practice to deal with more patients like you, and I needed a change of scenery. Funny meeting up with you out here, and while you’re pregnant again, to boot.”

“You know our patient, Sierra?” the guys asked as they got him strapped down.

“Mmm hmm. He was a patient of mine and Dr. Morgan’s back in Ohio almost six years ago,” Sierra answered. “I was the nurse who cared for him during his first pregnancy.”

“Ah, we see,” they answered in unison. “One, two, three!”

On a second count of three, they lifted the stretcher up to its full height and began to roll him toward the doorway. He begged Sierra to grab his phone off the nightstand and hand it to him, wanting to be able to get in touch with his husband and friends to let them know what was going on as they made their way to UCLA. She agreed, saying that she’d keep it with her after their arrival because her shift had ended while they were en route, so she’d be free to stay by his side for moral support.

Ash thanked her immensely as Josh and Jason fought to keep him somewhat level while carrying him downstairs, thankful they hadn’t broken his door so bad that they couldn’t lock the house up before they left. With his keys, phone, and wallet in her pockets, Sierra followed them to the waiting ambulance, which they wasted no time in getting him loaded into.

In the back, Jason and Sierra sat next to him to keep an eye on his and the baby’s vitals while Josh hopped into the front to drive. Sierra, having a past as an obstetric nurse and being the only one he trusted in that regard, was the one to slip on a latex glove to check him and make sure he hadn’t gone into a pre-term labor he hadn’t felt as of yet. Jason merely sat back and started the IV in his arm and checked his vitals, wincing as he got a blood pressure reading of one-fifty over ninty-two. Considering how high it was, both in comparison to a pregnant and non-pregnant norm, it was no wonder he felt light-headed as Hell right now.

“So this is your third baby?” Sierra asked, not only to satisfy her own curiosity, but to keep him as awake and alert as she could.

“Fourth, actually,” he chuckled, resting his hands on his belly. “I had twins with my second pregnancy.”

“Aww. I bet Rori was so excited to have more than one sibling,” she said.

“Oh, she was. It was the constant up-all-nights, feedings, and diaper changes that got to Andy and I,” Ash told her.

“So you and Andy are still together?” she asked, smiling as he nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. So few couples that get together as young as you guys did stay together for so long. At least, not without being on-again, off-again, or breaking up entirely.”

“We actually got married in June of 2011 after we moved out here,” Ash told her, flashing his wedding set. “Gay marriage is legal out here, so we figured, why not?”

“So you’re actually gay?” Jason spoke up. “Not that I have anything against it, mind you. I just thought that you were married and your wife couldn’t carry children, so you offered to since you have the ability.”

“I’m as queer as a three-dollar bill, and fucking proud of it,” he laughed. “Anyway, we were together when you last saw us, and we’ve stayed together. Hell, Andy proposed to me on stage during Warped Tour the year we got married. We couldn’t wait anymore after being together for almost four years, all said and done, so we got married as soon as time constraints allowed.”

“So you’ve been together for what? Almost seven years now?” Sierra asked.

“Mmm hmm. And what a wonderful seven years it’s been,” he answered, nodding. “He’s gonna go berserk when I finally get a chance to call him.”

“Why? Where’s he at?”

“He’s overseas for Westfest. As of right now, he should be in Sydney, Austrailia.” He paused to take a deep breath. “He wasn’t expecting anything like this to happen, not that I was, either, and he’ll lose what’s left of his sanity when he finds out I’m being hospitalized for something blood pressure related…again.”

“You guys managed to start the band you always talked about back in Ohio?” She grinned as he nodded. “I’m proud of you, Ashley. You two never really struck me as the types to achieve your dreams, but you’ve proven me wrong. On top of that, you’ve been busy getting married and raising three kids with another on the way. I couldn’t be more proud of you if I tried.”

“Thanks, Sierra. All of my blood relatives besides my husband and children are dead and gone. It’s nice to finally hear someone say they’re proud of us for getting Black Veil Brides up and going,” Ash told her.

“So that’s the band you guys started,” Sierra chuckled as the ambulance began to slow down. “I’ve listened to them since their Sex & Hollywood EP came out, but I never knew it was you guys.”

“Well, it is. We’ve stuck together and had a blast the past few years, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Moments later, the ambulance jerked to a halt as gently as it possibly could and the sirens stopped their mournful wail, meaning they were at the hospital at last. Ash heaved a sigh of relief, knowing that they’d be able to figure out what was wrong with him soon enough. Hopefully it wasn’t anything too serious, like when his blood pressure dropped in January, and wouldn’t cost his or his baby’s lives.

Josh and Jason pulled the stretcher out of the back and started wheeling him toward the emergency entrance, Sierra following close behind with his personal effects and holding up his IV bag. Moments later, he found himself being wheeled through the ER, and thankfully, the patients he knew could see him from the waiting room thought he was a woman having a complication with her pregnancy. He honestly didn’t know if it was anything pregnancy-related or not, but he was glad he wouldn’t get ridiculed by other patients since he figured doctors and nurses would probably do enough of that, as was.

After getting him onto the gurney they stopped the stretcher beside, Josh and Jason finished up their paperwork and headed back out to the ambulance for another call to come in. As she’d promised, Sierra made sure she was clocked out since her shift had ended and stayed by his side through all the poking, prodding, and exams to offer moral support. In fact, she had to jump in and check him again before Dr. Hill’s arrival since he wouldn’t let anyone else touch him in such a way.

Before long, Dr. Hill had determined that he was suffering from a pregnancy-induced condition known as pre-eclampsia. She explained to him that it was pregnancy-induced high blood pressure that usually set in around thirty weeks, and it was no surprise that it was setting in. However, the only cure for it was delivery of the baby, and if they let it go on for too long, it could result in seizures for him, possibly death for both him and the baby, or one or the other. Terrified that he could lose both his own life and his baby, Ash begged her to let him call Andy before they wheeled him to an OR for an emergency C-section, during which he requested a hysterectomy since he was done having kids.

“Buona sera, mio deviante,” Andy said when he answered his phone. He sounded a bit breathless, and he figured he was getting ready to go on stage. “How’re you and the kids?”

“The kids are doing great. Me, not so much,” he answered, terror lacing his voice.

“What’s wrong, Outlaw?” his lover asked, immediately concerned.

“I’m sitting in UCLA’s ER. I felt like my blood pressure spiked this time and called an ambulance since I had your mom and CC take the kids over to Sammi’s earlier,” Ash answered. “Apparently I have a condition called pre-eclampsia. If you’ve got a minute, I’ll put you on speaker and let Dr. Hill explain it.”

“Go ahead. I wanna know what’s going on and how serious it is,” he told him.

Choking back tears, he put his phone on speaker and nodded toward his OB/GYN.

“You there, Andy?” Dr. Hill asked.

“Yeah, I’m here. I wish I could say it was good to talk to you,” the frontman answered.

“Likewise. Anyway, pre-eclampsia is basically pregnancy-induced high blood pressure that sets in around thirty weeks. As of right now, Ashley is twenty-seven and a-half, so it’s no surprise that it’s setting in,” she began. “Unfortunately, if the condition isn’t treated, it can turn into full-blown eclampsia.”

“What’s the treatment?” he asked, now just as terrified as his husband.

“Delivery of the baby. It’s the only cure for pre-eclampsia,” she told him. “I’m sorry to have to give you that kind of news, Andy.”

“What’ll happen if he’s not cured of it by delivering?”

“He could start having seizures, and possibly he and/or the baby could die. If we go ahead and deliver via C-section, it should cure it and we shouldn’t have anything else to worry about.”

“You’re not gonna be stubborn are you, Outlaw?” Andy asked, directing his question at his sweetheart.

“No way, Batman. I don’t particularly feel like dying right now, and I damn sure don’t wanna lose the baby,” Ash answered. “I just wanted you to be aware of what was going on, or I wouldn’t have made them put it off long enough for me to call.”

“Well, I gotta thank ya for that one.” He released a heavy sigh, and he heard him light a cigarette in the background. “So basically, it’s deliver the baby early, or risk losing one or both of them?”

“Pretty much, Andy,” Dr. Hill answered sadly. “I wish there was another treatment, but there’s not.”

“When will you be taking him up for the C-section?”

“As soon as we get off the phone.”

“Mio profeta, I want you to know that we won’t ever have to go through this again,” he told him, tears streaming down his cheeks now. “I can’t handle another pregnancy, either emotionally or, obviously, physically. I’m having a hysterectomy after they finish the C-section since they’ll already have me cut open.”

“You sure you want that, mio deviante?” Andy asked. “I’m not gonna try to stop you if you are; I just wanna make sure you’re not gonna do something you’ll regret later.”

“With the scares we’ve had in the past month and all the stress from the band and life in general, I don’t think it’s smart of me to keep those organs anymore,” he said. “We’ve got four kids; I think that’s more than enough. Besides, what if the baby and I make it through this time, but this happens if I get pregnant again and we don’t?”

“That’s true enough. Like I said, I won’t stop you if you’re sure, but I wanted to know that you were.” He heard a growl and a soft thud!, obviously his husband punching something. “I don’t give a damn what the fans think; I’ll be on the first plane home that I can catch. You and our children have always been and always will be more important to me than anything else.”

“What are Jake and Jinxx gonna say, though?” Ash asked curiously.

“That we’d rather be back home with you guys during your time of need,” the others answered in unison.

“I’ve had you on speaker the entire time, so they’ve heard everything,” his lover chuckled. “They were nodding their agreement before you asked what their opinions were.”

“Well, I hate to end our phone call, but I’ve gotta go,” he said sadly. “I don’t wanna risk our chances of surviving any more than I have to, and the quicker we get this done and over with, the better, according to Dr. Hill.”

“That’s true, Ashley,” the OB/GYN agreed.

“You and your team take good care of him and our baby, all right, Dr. Hill?” Andy begged. “I don’t wanna come home a widower with four kids who need me.”

“We’ll do our best, Andy,” Dr. Hill promised him.

“Ti amo più di quanto posso mai strillare, mio profeta,” Ash said softly.

“Anch’io ti amo molto, mio deviante,” his lover answered. “Send me a picture of the baby as soon as you get a chance, okay?”

“How ’bout I have an old friend do that since she’ll likely see it before me?” he chuckled.

“Whatever works,” the frontman agreed. “I’ll see you soon, amore mio.”

“Sooner than we think.”

With tears of love and fear running down his face, he handed his phone back to Sierra and had her call CC to tell him what was going on. She promised to and cleared her presence in the OR with Dr. Hill, saying she’d be in there as soon as she got off the phone and scrubbed up. Once she learned of her past as an obstetric nurse, specifically the one who’d cared for him during his first pregnancy, she readily agreed, knowing that she’d be the best one besides his husband to have in there with them.

The process of getting him moved from the gurney to the operating table was a bit of an arduous one, but one that was managed, nonetheless. He’d never had a chance for an epidural during either of his past deliveries, so he wasn’t expecting the local anesthetic to burn quite so much when the anesthesiologist administered it. He had to admit, though, that if it wouldn’t have slowed his labor down the first time and he’d even known he was pregnant the second, he’d have killed to get one. It kicked in almost as soon as the catheter was in place and hooked up to whatever it needed to be hooked up to, and he felt nothing from his waist down. The only thing he felt was the pressure of his doctor pressing on his belly, but no pain.

Ash listened in fear as Dr. Hill called for various instruments, glad that he had drapes blocking his view of what was going on as she sliced into him. He groaned and grimaced at the sensation of her digging around in his abdomen, relief finally coming when she pulled his baby from his womb. It was only after its nose and mouth was suctioned that he heard its first cries, and his OB/GYN held it up over the drapes with a happy cry of “It’s a boy!” before passing him off to a nurse. His newborn son was taken over to a warming table to be assessed, his cries continuing the entire time.

He sighed in relief to know that, although twelve and a-half weeks premature, the baby was doing well enough to breathe on his own. At that point, he zoned out and drifted into a fantasy land of his own creation as his hysterectomy was performed and he was closed up at last. From there, everything was a blur as he was moved to a recovery room, Sierra at his side as his son was assessed further down in the NICU.

Notes