Suffer In Silence

*****Time Lapse*****

*Dakota's POV*

I'm being released today, I'm so fucking relieved. I have to admit though, I will miss the peace and quiet, going back home does have its drawbacks... a lot of them... My room door creaks, I turn towards it to see nurse Mcmally, I smile. "Miss Mcmally!" I give her a hug. "I'm going to miss you..." I say sadly, we've grown closer during my stay here. "I'll miss you too hun, I've got something for you...", she hands me a sketch, it's of a unicorn running through a forrest, you can barely see it through the trees, but when you do, you see such joy in its eyes, the way it's whole body moves, forever frozen in flight... "Oh my god I love it!" I cry flinging my arms around her neck in a hug. "I've got something for you too!", I hand her a sketch of my own, of the two of us standing in a garden, but faintly, if you look close enough, you can see we both have black-grey wings and each have a silvery-grey glow... "Because we're both fallen angels, you and i..." I say suddenly feeling shy.

I bite my lip nervously, she's still staring at it, not saying anything... Fuck she hates it, I should never have drawn i- my thoughts are cut off when she hugs me tight, "oh Koda it's amazing... I don't know how you came up with it, but I'll keep it with me forever I promise", she looks like she's about to cry... "And I'll keep mine, you're an amazing artist Miss Mcmally" I say truthfully. "Please, call me Cherry, that's what my friends and family call me" she smiles. "Cherry... I like it... if I ever make it in a band, I'm gonna write a song for you, it will have Cherry in the title, or fallen angel, either way I'll make sure you know it's from me and I'm ok", we hug again and she leaves the room so I can pack....

*****Time Lapse*****

We've been driving home for several minutes now, neither of us has said a word. Surprisingly being in a car again doesn't scare me, and doesn't seem to scare dad either. For these past few minutes I've been trying to work up the courage to talk to him, to ask him questions. "So... um... dad... I was wondering... are you ok? after the accident and all?" I ask, filled with nerves, I don't even dare to look at him. After a minute of silence, he finally answers. "Yeah I'm fine, just got a slight concussion and gash on my forehead, the car was fucked so I got this beauty as a replacement", he pats the dash. "It is a really nice car... so um... did my drums die? you know... cos you did spend heaps on them and all..." I finish nervously, not wanting to sound selfish.

"They were damaged, but I sent them to be fixed, so no real money was wasted" he informs me, I breath a sigh of relief. "Dad?"... "hmmm?"... "I'm really sorry... I distracted you, it was all my fault..." I hang my head in shame. "Don't be retarded, everyone involved was partly to blame, except the third car, your friend Andy's car... He and your friends apparently came to see you every day, or so your friend Jinxx said", he says, dismissing my apology. "Oh poor Andy, he loved that little shitbox so much, he called it his batmobile", I say, feeling guilty about his car, knowing it would have been destroyed.

"Don't worry, John, my boss, he paid for it to be fixed when he heard it was your friends car, he said he knew you'd blame yourself and he didn't want his.. uhhh... angel... feeling bad, he even ordered for it to get a new black paint job and a batman logo on the bonnet", he explains, glancing at me. "Shit really? Wow that was so nice of him, has Andy got it back yet?" I ask excitedly, he shakes his head, no. "Oh well, I'll call CC or one of the others, they can drive it to him, he'll love it" I smile happily, ignoring the pang of bad feelings trying to surface over Andy's ignoring me....

*Sandra's POV*

God school sucks... at least I have music, and my teacher is fucking amazing, Miss Lolli doesn't stand for any bullshit in this class, so even if there's dicks in it you don't have to worry about bullying. We've been assigned a task for the week, we have to come up with a song, an original we write ourselves, and either sing it or play an instrument of our choice, so the song doesn't have to have any words. I've chosen to write a song to play on the drums, she said they don't have to be very long, but they do have to tell a story. Mine will be of the accident, you'll be able to hear the beating heart throughout the whole thing, and even the crash itself....

I drop my pen and massage my aching hand, I deserve a break. I wish Koda was here, then I'd have someone to talk to during class, why did Andy have to get music on Tuesdays ugh... Andy... he's been acting so fucking weird lately, ever since Koda had that breakdown and shaved her hair... he's so quiet... keeps acting like a dick, and getting into more fights, even initiates some of them now the fucking idiot!, we've all noticed his weird behaviour, and what the fuck's up with him ignoring Koda? Jinxx said he can tell how hurt she is by it, the poor girl must feel so bad and she has no reason to, god he's being such a jer- "Miss Alvarenga? You look pretty deep in thought, need to talk about anything?" asks Miss Lolli, looking concerned....

Shit, I must have looked as mad as I feel, I should really learn to stop working myself up like that during class... "No I'm fine Miss Lolli, just thinking about my assignment, I'm doing it on my car accident experience", I lie, smiling sheepishly... Well I'm not completely lying, it did have something to do with the accident... Suddenly the bell rings, Miss Lolli hands me the papers she was holding, "here's miss Pikes homework and assignment sheet, I trust you'll give them to her?" she asks, though she already knows the answer, I always give Jinxx Koda's schoolwork so he can give it to her. I grin and take the papers, "sure thing Miss Lolli, see you Thursday", and with that we part ways. Koda and I have music on Thursdays as well, I wish we had it every day....

*****Time Lapse*****

On the long walk home, thanks to CC's Kombi being temporarily out of action, I have time to think, and the more I do, the more pissed off I get at Andy. That's it... first chance I get I'm gonna corner the fuck and find out what the fuck his problem is, he's effecting us all and it's got to fucking stop... Subconsciously I change my course as I continue ranting in my head, the angry music I'm listing to only fuelling my rage. It takes me a while but I slowly realise where I'm heading... That's right, Andy likes to go on walks in this forrest when he needs to think...

As I enter the forrest I quieten my walking and turn off my ipod. After a few minutes I hear him and feel anger bubbling up inside all over again. The next thing I know I'm pushing him and pushing him until I've got him cornered against a large boulder by the river. I flip him so he's facing me and continue to keep him pinned. For several minutes I just stare at him, too furious to even speak, I can see fear and shock in his eyes....

*Andy's POV*

I was walking through the forrest, it helps me to think, when all of a sudden someone started pushing me until I was pinned against a large boulder. I couldn't stop thinking, am I going to be raped?, mugged?, murdered?, all 3?, but when I was flipped around I was met with Sandra. My fear turned to shock, then relief, but now... now it's back to fear... Oh god if looks could kill I'd be a dead man... what the fuck have I done?... As if she heard my question, she starts screaming at me. "What the fuck is wrong with you Biersack huh?!, you've been shutting us all out, ignoring us even, and Koda?!, what the fuck did she do to deserve being completely ignored?!, and just after she broke down?!, do you have any idea how bad she feels right now?!" she continues, a murderous look in her eyes.

"Hey that's not fair!, you can't just corner me and start attacking me!, maybe I'm going through shit too!, you think of that?!, maybe it hurts too much to see her like that!, and in that place!, maybe... maybe I've felt like if I opened my mouth I'd snap at you guys and I didn't want to risk it!, did you ever!... think of!... that!" I scream, trying to hide the fact that I'm falling apart at the seams, but putting on a show of anger insted... God I hope she buys this, I can't show that I'm weak, I need to at least seem strong....

She looks shocked at my outburst, I use the opportunity to push her off of me and start running. She's too short to catch me thanks to my long legs, so I'm able to lose her easily. I run all the way home and into my room. Once inside I slam my door and lock it, turning my stereo on full blast I scream, as loud and long as I can, I scream untill I can't scream anymore. Then I collapse on my bed and cry, I cry until I fall into a deep sleep full of nightmares, in the nightmares I lose everyone I love because of how much of a dick I am. I wake up crying... I have to fix this....

Notes

Here's chapter 14 (technically 17) as promised, im so sorry it's late everything's been so fucking crazy im just about tearing my hair out.

one good thing has happened, well two, yesterday I got my nose pierced again, On the other side, and the other good thing was I went to soundwave on the 22nd, here's kind of what it was like for me...

It was the BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!!
We (me and my sister) got there way too early so we were at the front with a few others (because we thought Green Day started at 7am, we were wrong, it was 7pm haha), we saw Alter Bridge, I don't know them but they were really good, next band we saw was Zebrahead, they were pretty good too, then the first of the big three we were there to see, P!ATD, who were fucking AMAZING! So good live!, we had to leave early for! BVB, who were INCREDIBLE!, I nearly cried when they came on stage, Andy's smile, Ash's antics, Jinxx's Jinxxieness, Jake's skill, CC's energy... these men saved me, their my hero's, next we saw Jimmy Eat World whole we waited for Green Day, and my fuck, Green Day BLEW. OUR. FUCKING. MINDS! it was just... they played around 2 and a half hours, they included the crowd, Billy Joe was so proud when we sang the entire pre-chorus and chorus of Boulevard of Broken Dreams, that he stopped the song and bowed down to us on his hands and knees cos we did it so flawlessly! it was unforgettable, there will never be anything like it, Soundwave will stay imprinted forever in my heart.

Ch. Title Credit: Black Veil Brides - New Years Day