Now Remembered. But For How Long?
Andy On The Shelf
*Juni’s POV*
We got Jake’s house around 8:45 and I was hungry.
“Jay Jayyyyyy. I’m hungry.”
“I have the leftover Cuban sandwiches I made in the fridge.”
“yes!” I got up and took one out. I didn’t feel like heating it up so I just ate it cold, over a plate. Jake went to feed Trixy and when he came back I had already finished it.
“Better now?”
“Much better. Shit it’s nine. I need to get home.”
“I’ll drop you off now.” We headed to Jake’s car and drove to my apartment.
“Bye Jake. Thanks for the tattoo. Love you asshole.” I hugged him and got out of the car.
“Love you too Junipie.” I got to our door and I opened it. Andy was asleep on the couch.
“Babe. I’m home, wake up.” I shook his shoulder.
“hmmm.” He murmured with his eyes still closed
“Andy, come on. Let’s get to bed.”
“mmmm, okay. As long as I’m with you I’ll go anywhere.” He got up and picked me bridal style and carried me to our room.
“You’re adorable when you’re sleepy.”
“You’re adorable all day every day.”
“awww babe.” I blushed and cuddled up into Andy’s chest.
“It’s the truth. I’m not sleepy anymore.” Andy looked at me and smiled.
“How did I get stuck with you?”
“I bumped into you in the hallway in school. We both aced our English test even though we usually failed them. We had the same schedule that day. Then it all led up to right now.” I blushed and Andy kissed me soft yet, passionate.
“I love you so much. You know that right?”
“Of course I do. If we’re dating again does this mean were counting the five years we were already together to this or is this a whole new start?”
“It’s a mix. We’ll count the five years but this is a fresh start for us. Let’s just say we took a break to get everything together.”
“That works for me.”
“I can’t believe I was so stupid and thought self harm was a good idea.”
“Wolf Tiger, it’s made you a stronger person. I get that you thought it was bad. I’m glad you do. But, if you didn’t then I don’t think we’d be together.”
I sighed. I really didn’t know how to respond. I looked down at my hands. Why did I have to get raped by my father? Why did I have to watch my mother die? Why did we have to get hit? Why didn’t Jake come with us? Why did dad drink? Why did all of this shit happen to me? So many thoughts raced through my mind that I was beyond tired. I turned on my side so my back was facing Andy’s side. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep praying that I don’t get another anxiety attack.
The last time I got one was the night I was exactly 5 years clean. CC and Sammi are the only people who know about my anxiety attacks. I never told the rest of the guys or Ella because it’s not easy to bring up and to be honest I get anxiety from telling people things. It just stresses me out so much. Not even Jake and Andy know. Jake’s my brother for Christ’s sake. And I’ve dated/ dating Andy!!!!!!! Sammi knows because I got one at a sleepover about a month after she moved. I got a bunch when I stayed with CC so that’s how he knows. The only reason I didn’t get them on tour was because we were always busy I never really had time to think by myself. I was always doing something. So luckily it kept my mind from wandering into dark places.
*Andy’s POV*
Juni fell asleep after we talked. I hope she’s okay because she just looked so lost in thought when she was staring at her hands. She must be taking this hard. She lost Jazzy about two months ago and then she had a complete, unexpected, relapse right after.
I couldn’t sleep for some reason so I went to my closet (it’s a mini walk –in closet) and sat on
the custom shelf I built so I could write and relax when I needed to. Juni uses it sometimes to ease her thoughts or when she gets mad.
I pulled out a new song book since I filled up my other three. I started sketching and when I got this great idea for a song.
“I ruled the world
With these hands I shook
The heavens to the ground
I laid the gods to rest
I held the key
To the kingdom lions
Guarding castle walls
Hail the king of the death
Then I lost it all
Dead and broken my
Backs against the wall
Cut me open
Then I lost it all
dead and broken my
back’s against the wall.
Who can save now?”
I need a something before Then I lost it all. But what? I’ll come back it later. I looked at my phone and saw it was 3 am. Wow, I’ve been in here a while.
I put my book away and went back to bed. Juni was still sleeping and she looked like she was sleeping good. I snuggled up next to her and fell into a peaceful sleep.
We got Jake’s house around 8:45 and I was hungry.
“Jay Jayyyyyy. I’m hungry.”
“I have the leftover Cuban sandwiches I made in the fridge.”
“yes!” I got up and took one out. I didn’t feel like heating it up so I just ate it cold, over a plate. Jake went to feed Trixy and when he came back I had already finished it.
“Better now?”
“Much better. Shit it’s nine. I need to get home.”
“I’ll drop you off now.” We headed to Jake’s car and drove to my apartment.
“Bye Jake. Thanks for the tattoo. Love you asshole.” I hugged him and got out of the car.
“Love you too Junipie.” I got to our door and I opened it. Andy was asleep on the couch.
“Babe. I’m home, wake up.” I shook his shoulder.
“hmmm.” He murmured with his eyes still closed
“Andy, come on. Let’s get to bed.”
“mmmm, okay. As long as I’m with you I’ll go anywhere.” He got up and picked me bridal style and carried me to our room.
“You’re adorable when you’re sleepy.”
“You’re adorable all day every day.”
“awww babe.” I blushed and cuddled up into Andy’s chest.
“It’s the truth. I’m not sleepy anymore.” Andy looked at me and smiled.
“How did I get stuck with you?”
“I bumped into you in the hallway in school. We both aced our English test even though we usually failed them. We had the same schedule that day. Then it all led up to right now.” I blushed and Andy kissed me soft yet, passionate.
“I love you so much. You know that right?”
“Of course I do. If we’re dating again does this mean were counting the five years we were already together to this or is this a whole new start?”
“It’s a mix. We’ll count the five years but this is a fresh start for us. Let’s just say we took a break to get everything together.”
“That works for me.”
“I can’t believe I was so stupid and thought self harm was a good idea.”
“Wolf Tiger, it’s made you a stronger person. I get that you thought it was bad. I’m glad you do. But, if you didn’t then I don’t think we’d be together.”
I sighed. I really didn’t know how to respond. I looked down at my hands. Why did I have to get raped by my father? Why did I have to watch my mother die? Why did we have to get hit? Why didn’t Jake come with us? Why did dad drink? Why did all of this shit happen to me? So many thoughts raced through my mind that I was beyond tired. I turned on my side so my back was facing Andy’s side. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep praying that I don’t get another anxiety attack.
The last time I got one was the night I was exactly 5 years clean. CC and Sammi are the only people who know about my anxiety attacks. I never told the rest of the guys or Ella because it’s not easy to bring up and to be honest I get anxiety from telling people things. It just stresses me out so much. Not even Jake and Andy know. Jake’s my brother for Christ’s sake. And I’ve dated/ dating Andy!!!!!!! Sammi knows because I got one at a sleepover about a month after she moved. I got a bunch when I stayed with CC so that’s how he knows. The only reason I didn’t get them on tour was because we were always busy I never really had time to think by myself. I was always doing something. So luckily it kept my mind from wandering into dark places.
*Andy’s POV*
Juni fell asleep after we talked. I hope she’s okay because she just looked so lost in thought when she was staring at her hands. She must be taking this hard. She lost Jazzy about two months ago and then she had a complete, unexpected, relapse right after.
I couldn’t sleep for some reason so I went to my closet (it’s a mini walk –in closet) and sat on
the custom shelf I built so I could write and relax when I needed to. Juni uses it sometimes to ease her thoughts or when she gets mad.
I pulled out a new song book since I filled up my other three. I started sketching and when I got this great idea for a song.
“I ruled the world
With these hands I shook
The heavens to the ground
I laid the gods to rest
I held the key
To the kingdom lions
Guarding castle walls
Hail the king of the death
Then I lost it all
Dead and broken my
Backs against the wall
Cut me open
Then I lost it all
dead and broken my
back’s against the wall.
Who can save now?”
I need a something before Then I lost it all. But what? I’ll come back it later. I looked at my phone and saw it was 3 am. Wow, I’ve been in here a while.
I put my book away and went back to bed. Juni was still sleeping and she looked like she was sleeping good. I snuggled up next to her and fell into a peaceful sleep.
Notes
There are literally only 2 more chapters left before the epilogue and then the story's over for good!!!!!!! :(I love you all for reading this story and i hope you continue to read my writing. I'm writing Give Me A Sign, I Want To Believe incase you want to read more.
Shits and Giggles from another BVB Army member,
~Wolf Tiger <3
:)
9/7/13