The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

It's been about three weeks since Fi and I got back together , and everything is great . Brenna is thrilled to bits that we're "fwends" , again , and that we all get to be together from now on . I'm pretty stoked myself , and , if I'm completely honest , still a bit surprised that she didn't just tell me to fuck off , after I was such a complete jerk the last time . But she's actually willing to give me another chance , and I don't intend to screw this one up . She and Bren are my whole world , and I don't think I could function if I lost them again .

Right now , I'm in the living room , waiting for them to finish getting ready to go out . Fi has what we hope is her last appointment with Dr . Wesson , to make sure that everything has healed correctly , and since I can't go in with her , I'm taking Bren to get some new shoes while we wait .

"Hurry up , you two , we're going to be late !"

"Mommy can'ts finded shes phone , Daddy !" , Bren yells back . "Does you gots it ?"

I glance around the living room , but don't see anything . "Just a sec , I'll call it , then we should be able to track it down ."

I punch in her number , and hear the phone ring , faintly , from down the hall . Then the call connects , and I hear , "Found it ! Apparently it slipped off of the dresser and into the drawer with my bras . Be out in a sec ."

They come down the hall , and Bren holds out her arms . "Me can has wide to's the car , Daddy ? Pwease ?"

I pick her up and let her sit on my shoulders , then hand Fi her purse off of the end table , and we head out . I get Bren buckled into her seat , and get in , as Fi is fastening her seat belt . As I pull out of the garage , she turns her head back to look at Bren . "Be a good girl for Daddy , Smidge . This is his first time buying little - girl shoes , so he might need some help ."

"Me wills be good . Is me getting pway shoes , or pwetty shoes ?" , she responds . "Daddy maybe cans get pway shoes , but me mights has to helps he get pwetty shoes , 'cause boys don'ts wears them ."

"You need some shoes to wear with your dress for the wedding , so pretty shoes , for sure . If Daddy wants to get play shoes , too , that's up to him ."

Bren then turns her attention to me , and asks , "Daddy , cans wittle girls has some shoes wike you gots ?"

"Which shoes do you mean , cutie ?"

"Yous big bwack ones , that is tall up yous weg . Wike yous weared when us wode the horsies ."

Fianna giggles , and says , 'Sounds like someone wants some cowboy boots . I wonder who she gets that from ?"

"No , Mommy , me no wants boy boops ! Me need girl boops , me's nots a boy !"

By this time , I'm laughing , too . "Tell you what , sweetie . We'll look when we get to the store , and if they have any boots your size , you can have them ."

She bounces in her seat and claps her hands , "Yay , me gets boops wike Daddy ! Now me needs a horsie to wide !"

"I don't think you can get a horsie at the store , Smidge ." , Fi tells her . "We can't keep a horse in the house , anyway ."

A couple of minutes later , I let Fi out at the hospital . "You guys have fun . I'll call you when I get done ." , she says , and walks inside . Bren and I head down the street to the shoe store , and go inside to look . She gets a pair of cute little gold glittery shoes to wear with her flower - girl dress , and practically dances in the aisle when we find a pair of little red cowgirl boots that fit her .
We walk back through the store toward the register , and she suddenly grabs my hand . "Wook at thems , Daddy !" , she shouts , pointing to one of the shelves . "Them gots big - girl boops . And them are Mommy's goodest color !"

I look where she's pointing , and sure enough , there's a display of black boots , with a hot - pink flame design up the sides . I look down at her , and say , "Yes , they are . I think Mommy should have some boots , too , don't you ?"

"Yes , yes ,yes ! Boops for Mommy ! Thens us cans all wook pwetty !"

I find a pair in her size , and we go to pay for everything . As I'm running my card , the phone rings , and I pull it out of my pocket . "Hello "

"I'm finished here , Ash , I'm ready whenever you two get done ."

"We're checking out right now , so we'll see you in a few . What do you say we grab lunch before we go home ?"

"Fine with me , I'll be waiting here by the entrance for you ." , she replies , and ends the call .

I get Bren and the bags into the car , and we head back to the hospital . After we pick Fi up , we all go out to eat , and she tells us that Dr . Wesson said that she's doing fine , she just can't lift anything over fifteen pounds for another week or two . We make a quick stop at a new beading shop , and then go home .

As soon as we get inside , Bren puts on her boots , and amuses herself by clomping through the house in them . She insists that Fi try hers on , too , and once again tries to convince her that we need to get a horse , which she wants to keep in the backyard . I tell her that when it gets a little warmer , we'll all go to the riding stables , and see my horses that stay there .

I spend the rest of the afternoon helping Bren practice on her guitar and keyboard , while Fi works on some of her jewelry , then we take some pictures , to start getting everything together for her website . We make dinner together , and let Bren watch a few cartoons afterward , until it's time for her to go to bed . Fi reads her a story , and we tuck her in , then she insists that I sing to her . When she finally goes to sleep , we go back to the living room , and decide to put on 'Lord of the Rings" , cuddling up on the couch while we watch .

When the movie is over , she pulls herself up off of the couch , and says , "I think I'm ready to go to bed now ."

"Okay , goodnight , babe . Sleep well ." , I tell her , standing up and kissing her goodnight .

She slides her arms around my waist , and looks up at me , appearing to be a little nervous , which confuses me a bit , until she says , "Well , I was sort of thinking that maybe you could come along , too . Unless you've changed your mind , that is ."

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FIANNA'S POV :

Ash seems surprised for a second , but then his face lights up with that incredible smile , and he pulls me closer to him , and kisses me until we're both short of breath , and I can feel him getting hard through his jeans .

"Does this feel like I've changed my mind ?" , he rasps into my ear , and I just shake my head as he takes hold of my hand and starts leading me down the hall , not even bothering to turn out the lights . I made sure to ask the doctor today if this was all right , I just hope he's not too disappointed , since things aren't anything like what he remembers : smooth , and not all scarred up , like now . The scar from the transplant surgery is like a big , crooked , upside - down Y underneath my ribs , and the one from when I had Bren , just above my crotch , isn't quite as vivid , but it's still noticeable .

We get to his room , and he locks the door as soon as we get inside , then kisses me again , running one hand into my hair , while the other slides under my shirt , his fingertips running lightly up my spine , while I let my hands drift down to his ass .

"Do you have any idea at all how much I want you right now ?" , he whispers , as he works at the clasp on my bra , finally getting it open , and moving on to my shirt .

"I think I might , because I want you just as much . I've missed you , Ash . I've missed this ."

He pulls my shirt over my head , and I let go of him long enough to let my bra slide down my arms and onto the floor , then I start trying to get his shirt off . He moves me to the bed , and slides my pants down my legs , followed by my panties . He stands by the bed , looking down at me for several seconds , and I get nervous , until I hear him whisper , "My God , you are still so beautiful ."

He strips down to his boxers , and lays down next to me , pulling me against him , and lowering his lips to my chest , teasing my nipples with his tongue , then sucking until I whimper , trying to get closer to him . I move my hand between us , brushing my fingertips along his abdomen , feeling his muscles tighten as I do . I keep moving further , until I can feel him through the fabric of his underwear , and gently start stroking him .

His eyes close and he arches his back , moaning , "Oh , that feels so damn good , Fi , but you need to stop now . I don't know how long I can hold out if you don't ."

He gets up and pulls off his boxers , letting his erection spring up against his stomach . As I look at him , I remember the first time I saw him nude , and how I was a bit worried by what I saw . Ash is only the second guy I've ever been with , and my first boyfriend wasn't exactly overly endowed . I've read some of the smutty fanfics , and most of them represent him as practically a tripod , but that's not exactly what makes him so impressive . He's no slouch in the length department , to be sure , but he's also exceptionally thick , so much so that my fingers won't meet when I have him in my hand . But he very quickly proved to me that I had absolutely nothing to worry about , and now I feel my stomach flutter as I remember what he's capable of .

Crawling onto the end of the bed , he begins to drop light little kisses onto my stomach , moving down my left leg , to my knee , then coming back up the other . I feel his fingers slip between my legs , and he starts rubbing me gently , causing me to arch up in an attempt to get more contact . He cocks an eyebrow at me and smiles , saying , "All right , darlin' , if that's what you want ." He slides first one finger , then two , inside me , increasing his speed , and starts circling his tongue around my clit , and I have to bury my face in the pillow to make sure that I don't wake Smidge up .

"Oh , God , that feels so good ! Oh , please don't stop !" , I whimper . He chuckles , and starts to crook his fingers inside me , hitting that spot that makes me forget to breathe for a second , and as I feel myself start to unravel , all I can do is moan , because I can't make my brain form words .

As I try to refocus , I feel him move away , and I open my eyes to see him rolling on a condom . He lays down next to me , pulling me against his body and nibbling on my neck ,as I twine my fingers in his hair . He rolls over , so I'm straddling him , and smiles . "Until I'm sure that I'm not going to hurt you , you're in charge . So , are you ready to ride ?"

I return his smile and position myself over him , sliding down onto his cock and starting to rock my hips , making him choke back a groan . He reaches up to squeeze my breasts , and I pick up speed , enjoying the friction of him moving inside me , stretching me out to the max .

He pulls me down to kiss him , which changes the angle of his thrusts , causing him to start hitting my G - spot again . I gasp , and he recognizes what's happening , so he holds me against his chest and begins to move faster , growling out , "Let it go , Fi . I want to feel you cum for me , babe !" He runs his fingers along the base of my spine as he speaks , teasing the spot just above the cleft of my ass , remembering that this always sets me off .

"Ashley ! Ash , I ... " , I moan , as I feel myself explode . "That's ... so ... that's so ... , oh , Ash , that feels so good . Oh , yes !"

He kisses me again , muffling my voice , and I feel his muscles tighten , then relax , as he groans wordlessly against my lips , and empties himself into the condom . I lie against his chest while he strokes my hair , and kisses the top of my head , and after a couple of minutes , he gently rolls me off and gets up .

He disposes of the condom and gets back in bed , and I reach out for him . We end up with him lying on his back , my head on his chest , and his hand is caressing my shoulder , while I trace circles on his stomach . Neither of us says anything for awhile , and just as I'm beginning to think that he's asleep , he murmurs , "I don't think I've ever felt this good before in my life ."

"Me , either . I've missed you so much , Ash . Even when I didn't want to think about you , I used to dream about this . I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't care anymore , but I could never quite manage it ."

"I'm glad , because you mean more to me than I think you ever understood . I know that was my own fault , and I wish I could take it back , but all I can do is make sure that you know it now . I love you , Fianna Chandler , and I plan to make sure that you never have any reason to doubt that again ."

My chest tightens up when I hear this , and I have to blink back tears . "That's all I've ever wanted from you , Ash . I love you , so much that it felt like part of me was missing when we weren't together , and I'll be here for as long as you want me ."

"So forever , then . And even longer if there's anything to the idea of an afterlife ."

"Forever and always ." , I answer , as I feel myself drifting off to sleep in his arms , where I've always wanted to be .

I'm finally back where I belong .

Notes