The Model

Loud laughing pulled me out of my daze. Shit, Ela was home. And she wasn't alone as it sounded...

"Hello!", she chimed grinning at me. I forced a smile, not wanting her to be suspicious and ask questions about why I looked like I'd seen a ghost.

"I brought Kat and Jesse if you don't mind." Ela winked at me as she saw me growing pale. Jesse. Oh no. I looked like shit and I felt like it, too. How was I supposed to sit in front of my crush like this?! Also I was worrying about Andy. Hopefully he was safe now... Also, what did he say? I needed to destroy the pictures? Of him? This was all so much...

"Hi, Tara. Everything alright?" His voice startled me and I looked up. Jesse was sitting right next to me, smiling. My little teenageer-heart jumped and I nodded. "Yeah... Just zoned out a little. Sorry."

"It's alright."

"Anyone thirsty?", Kat asked smiling viciously.

"Oh no, you didn't!", Jesse laughed and she nodded, the little diamond on her tooth sparkling. Then she pulled four small colorful bottles out of her bra with the liquid in it I usually never turned down. I loved those kind of shots like it was my life insurance. But now I didn't feel like it.

"Mmmh, warm", Jesse smirked, receiving his bottle. I had to admit, there was a tiny bit of jealousy awaking in my stomach. He darkly looked at Kat, who grinned, sitting down on the ground. We all followed her. I needed to join them since I neither wanted to be left out, nor did I want to raise suspicion. That's why I cought my own small bottle. It contained my favourite. Plum flavor. I sighed quietly and turned it over to look at the number engraved in the bottom of the shot. Then we all fastly knocked our bottles down on the carpet, as long as we reached the number.

I opened mine, took a breath and thought: I could use this now. Loosen up, Tara!

Simultaneously we threw our heads back and the sweet burning liquid ran down my throat. Awesome! It seemed like it had been years since I had my last real drink.

"You have any more?", I asked and Kat laughed.

"Tara, you know me." She reached for her bag on the bed behind her and inside it made a chinking noise. "I think this is enough, right?"

She opened it and what I saw made me feel relief. There were at least twenty other bottles in there. I needed a night of not feeling like I had to worry about everything. I wanted to have fun and so I did.

We started playing Never Have I Ever, which was one of my favourite drinking games. We paired it with Truth or Dare so it was even more interesting. Everyone who had to drink also had to choose between truth or dare.

It got messy quite quickly. Most of the time we picked dare since it was more fun. It always ended up in one of us either taking off a piece of clothing or kissing someone. It was fun and I felt myself getting tipsy and more confident.

Thats when Ela told me to do a lapdance on my bed which I didn't turn down. The alcohol already got to my head so I thought it would be awesome to impress Jesse with my great talent for lapdance that I just discovered.

It was fun to move like a stripper and much to my pleasure Jesse even joined me, grabbing my hips and grinding against me. It felt great. I finally felt confident around him and I finally got to enjoy his hands all over my body. There was no thought directed to Andy. No worries.

"Damn... What I could do to you right now...", Jesse whispered in my ear and i grinned widely. Yes! Everything he wanted, I wanted, too. I was ready to obey.

Ela and Kat cheered at us while Jesse took off my sweater and traced his hands down my torso. I got goosebumps all over and felt myself melting into his warm body. That felt right...

-

The next morning was a blur. Literally, because my head was spinning like I was sitting on a carousell on a childs playground. Thankfully we didn't have class until ten, so I could still stay in bed a little.

"Water", I mumbled and looked for my waterbottle on the floor. I slowly sat up and tried to not fall back again.

The water in my throat was probably the greatest sensation I could feel at the moment. I was so thirsty that I emptied the whole thing in a minute.

"Wow. Someone didn't drink enough", Ela smiled, as I put away the bottle and sunk back in my soft pillows. "More like drank too much", I mumbled. "Why don't you feel like shit? You drank much more than all of us."

Ela laughed. "I was smart, darling. I kept myself hydrated but you don't remember that, do you?"

"Only thing I remember is dancing on my bed... Fuck... What does Jesse think of me now?" I sighed and rubbed my face. Why did I think it was a good idea to dance half naked on my bed?

"He won't remember that..."

I wasn't so sure about that but I didn't want to annoy Ela with my ongoing rambling about Jesse. It was enough that she saw me do all of this... But what are best friends for? They are allowed to see you in the worst situations.

As we got ready for school, I decided to leave Andy a note in case he would come to our room to do whatever he liked doing. I hoped and prayed that he was fine after all that happened yesterday.

-

My day at school could be described as one of the worst days that I ever had.

Not only did I get back an Exam for my history class with a grade even below a D but also I saw Jesse. On normal occasions I would be more than happy to see him and drool all over him but today was much different.

I was walking towards the girls bathroom as I heard some quiet voices from under the staircase. Since I was me and too curious for my own good, I lurked around the corner just to see a couple eating their faces off.

The fact that they were making out under a staircase didn't struck me as much as the fact that I knew them. It was none other than Jesse and a girl from my English class.

"Sarah", he whispered, kising her neck. It made me nauseous.

"Would you... Accompany me at the spring formal?"

My throat started to burn and so did my eyes. What was he doing? Did he forget about me? That we were supposed to go together?

I had to try my hardest to not make any sound and as quiet as I could I disappeared in the girls bathroom.

I felt dirty and used.

Maybe I exaggerated and cried over a guy who never was interested at all. But on the other side, he asked me to the dance after all. Maybe I got too boring for him. Maybe he didn't like my normal shy self.

Tears dripped silently from my chin. Why was I even crying? It wasn't like we had been together for years. We'd never even spoken that much. So why in the world did I feel crushed like a useless piece of junk?

I sunk down on the ground next to the toilet and hugged my knees. I felt cold and my head was hurting. I was nominated for spring queen and didn't even have a date anymore. No. My date forgot about me.

"Whats up?"

The voice startled me so much that I almost hit my head on the wall.

"Andy", I breathed and looked at his blue worried eyes.

"How... How did you get here?" I quickly wiped away my tears and let him help me up.

"These doodles here. I may have followed you..." He slightly smiled and pointed to some drawings of penises and other mean remarks on the walls of the stall.

"So then you know whats wrong."

He shrugged and leaned against the wall.

"Hes a prick. As simple as that. And you don't deserve that."

My head hung low and I swallowed slightly.

"Are you better?", I asked, not wanting to talk about this now. "And what happened?"

"I know you want to distract me but I'll tell you anyways." He slightly smiled and pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his wrists.

"I told you about the paintings, remember? It was too much information and he sensed it. When he does he gets furious and that's what makes my bruises open. With my blood he tries to find me and when that happens I need to hide at a safe place."

"Wow... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked you about those pictures."

"It wasn't your fault. I brought it up and I said too much. Anyways, you need to find and destroy them in order for me being free. I can't do it myself."

I nodded and bit my lip.

"Now back to your asshole of a dance date. Please promise me that you will dump him because if you won't, I will and that is not going to be pretty."

My eyes grew big and he smiled a little.

"You could still take someone else..."

It made me smile how obviously he was referring to himself and I nodded.

"Tell him to get his head out of his ass and fuck off, alright?" This even made me laugh a little and again I nodded.

"Alright... But... I can't do it alone...", I mumbled.

"I can be very intimidating."

I looked up at him. His eyes sparkled like ice in the sun and I noticed that he looked better than yesterday. The thread in his cheek seemed to be freshly done and his hair was clean and straight.

"Did you use my straightener?", I smiled and he blushed a little.

"Maybe...? My hair got annoyingly curly... I haven't really cared about my looks since 15 years ago so it really was time for me to clean myself up."

"Totally fine with me", I said. "And thanks for helping me with Jesse."

"No problem! I like scaring people!"

Notes

Merry Christmas, people!
Here you have a kinda long (i think) chapter and I hope you enjoy it :) I'm sorry for not posting that often though :/