shadowsdied

Ugh, this needed a change...

I'm Catha and I like writing weird stuff about a certain person, ahem... In case anyone is interested, I started writing fanfiction about four years ago. I always loved getting lost in self-made realities and thinking about what happens next.

Also I daydream too much.

Alright, I'll just tell you now how I got into BVB, which is a pretty long story (I guess). Everything started with a huge obsession over Michael Jackson. He also was subject for my first fanfiction ever. It was a bad one, that I can tell you, ha! But with the time I actually started developing real stories and ideas just flooded my brain.

At about the same time I started getting into Green Day. That was something pretty new, since I just knew the Stones and MJ. My mom was constantly listening to music so I also developed a close relationship with the 90s right when I was born (which, in fact, was in the late 90s) but all of that was not Green Day.

To be honest, I always jumped when the guitars started to kick in (for God's sake, I was 11!) but I still enjoyed their music.

A whole journey of me trying to find good music out there started and I was living in my flowery world.

Then, during 10th grade I had a pretty bad time at school and was feeling very lonely. My then girlfriend introduced me to the German band Tokio Hotel (some of you might know them). That was something even more different than Green Day. There was this feeling of having found a whole new world (yes, I intended to let that song enter your head and get stuck there).

Before finding that particular band, I never had been into the Alternative scene. I have to admit, I was pretty narrowminded, not linking the whole 'edgy' thing going on (eDgy!1!1). I lived in my pretty colorful world, but it never fit my increasing anxiety I developed because of school. I was never bullied openly, but I think, constant ignorance is the other extreme, that hurts just as bad. I once tried to fit in with the others but I never was happy until I found this scene.

It taught me how to embrace being different and how not to drown in self-pity. I found beautiful lyrics expressing all kinds of emotions. It felt like I found myself in some of those songs and thats when I started, really getting into BVB.

They didn't 'save' me in the way that they pulled me out of my anxiety and depressed moods. But they gave me a place where I could embrace my problems and where I could find an escape from my daily life.

I didn't overcome the said problems. In fact they kind of mutated in something different and something that is not so simple anymore. But I started finding myself and my place in the world.

Something that was a huge and major step for me getting a little better, was my year abroad. I spent a whole year in LA which still happens to be my favourite place on earth. I felt more alive than ever down there, I found some amazing friends and I even got to talk to Andy a couple times. He really is one of the nicest people out there and inspiring in so many ways. I hold those experiences dear to my heart and I hope that I ever will get the chance to talk to him again.

Props to you, if you actually read all of this. Thank you, lol!