Smutty's One-shots

I sat at home, feeling down. It was my birthday, and that was a universally bad omen. Bad things always happened on my birthday, every year. It was why I didn’t like to celebrate.

So I just settled myself in front of the television and started watching the third season of ‘Vikings.’ Anything to get my mind off of all the problems I still had yet to solve, all the drudgery of-

I heard my doorbell ring, and nearly jumped out of my skin! I wasn’t expecting anyone… Wary, I paused the show during the opening credits, and made my way to the door.

I tried to be as silent as possible as I looked through the peephole. I got a shock when I saw who it was! What was Andy doing here?

Surprised and happy, I started unlocking the door. I wasn’t sure why he had come… He had said he had a bunch of shit to do for work, and our ‘relationship,’ if you could even call it that, was strictly casual. I wasn’t a priority.

I made an effort not to look too overjoyed as I opened the door. “Hey, what are you doing here, man?”

Andy pulled me into a hug, and I let myself enjoy it for just a moment. “It’s your birthday, silly! I knew you’d be sitting at home, pouting, so I came to cheer you up.”

Andy was smiling down at me as he pulled away, and I moved aside to let him in. “But I thought you were busy-“

Andy snorted. “Bullshit! It’s your birthday! Have you eaten dinner yet?”

I blinked. “Well, no… I was just going to watch some Vikings-“

Andy looked amused. “-Well, go sit down, I’ll make you something.”

Instantly I started to panic. “But I don’t have, like, any real food! I just have frozen Amy’s meals-“

Andy just smirked at me. “-I figured. Don’t worry about it. I’ll microwave us something and bring it to you. Just go relax.”

I sat in front of the TV and re-started the episode, but I couldn’t focus on what was happening on the show. I kept thinking about Andy, mucking around in my kitchen. Why was he doing that, anyway? It was so caring…

I had to be careful not to let the depth of my feelings for him show. We’d started our whole ‘fuck buddy’ arrangement with the understanding that we were friends and nothing more. I had messed everything up when I’d started to get those crazy feelings for him. If he found out, I wasn’t sure how he’d react.

Andy came back into the den, carrying two hot dinners. He grinned. “Three cheese kale bake or mushroom risotto?”

I hesitated. “Whichever is fine.”

Andy made a face at me. “You have to pick, it’s your birthday!”

I smiled at him. “Ok, the kale bake.”

Andy sighed with relief. “Thank christ, I fucking hate kale!”

We chuckled together as Andy sat down next to me and handed me my food. Then it all clicked. He had to want sex, why else would he be here, acting so kind? I paused the show. “So are you wanting a blowjob or what?”

Andy looked askance at me as he was blowing on a forkful of risotto to cool it off. “Um… Is that an offer? What do you mean?”

I sensed I had been wrong but it was too late to take it back. Shit. “I, uh, just figured… You know, you’re being so nice-“

Andy looked a little hurt. “Am I not usually nice?”

I felt my face turning red. “I just meant, you know, maybe you were hoping for some sex or something.”

Andy rolled his eyes. “Well, of course I was hoping for some sex! Why wouldn’t I? Just look at that ass!”

I started chuckling, but Andy caught me off guard with what he said next. “But that’s not why I’m here, per se. I have other motives.”

Unsure what he meant, I cracked a joke. “I don’t do anal on my birthday, man. I mean, come on!”

Andy smiled nervously, and suddenly I was very anxious. I could sense how tense he was. Clearly, he wanted something. Of course he did, everyone always wanted something. What was it now? What could he possibly want from me?

Andy tried for a casual tone of voice as he looked intensely at his risotto. “I was wondering if you’d ever want to go on a real date. Or whatever.”

I paused. My mind was totally blown. “Um, like a date-date?”

Andy frowned at his risotto and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. But no big deal, if not, of course. I mean, of course.”

He shot a glance at me. I set my food down on the coffee table. “Yeah. Yeah, totally.”

I leaned over to peck him on the cheek, feeling daring, and he turned quickly and kissed me! I pulled back, pleasantly surprised and blushing. Andy looked smug. “Great! Well, then, that’s settled. Hurry and eat your food, so we can get to the sex part of your birthday.”

I chuckled and started eating my kale bake. It had never tasted so good.

Notes

Written so that you never have to spend your birthday alone and let down again. Fictional-Andy will be waiting here for you! :3