I Didn't Want to Get Married

Andrew held on firmly to my hand with his, which was a bit clammy. He looked a little green again, and I wondered what had made him suddenly so out of sorts? Was he truly feeling unwell? Why was he staring so intensely, making no sense, and what was this about his Nana?

Then my stomach went into my chest as the most handsome man I had ever seen went down on one knee before me. "(Y/N) (Y/L/N), I implore you, in the name of God, to accept my proposal of marriage, for I swear to you that it is true: I will never be content again if you refuse me your hand.”

I did the only reasonable thing I could to save my dignity: I yanked my hand out of Andrew’s and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. "You think that's funny?!? You think that's a grand joke to be made? You're a bastard, Biersack!"

I turned to run, but that wretched, pompous churl tackled me to the cushions! "No! (Y/N)-" I had had enough, so I kneed Andrew in his family jewels, absolutely furious! He made a noise like I imagined a miniature bear might make if it was very sad as he rolled in a ball, yet still he grabbed a handful of the hem of my dress, and held on resolutely! I was able to stand, but I was tethered in place!

"Let me go you rapscallion! I thought you had some manner of character, yet you mock me to my core you..." I trailed off a bit as Andrew repeatedly rasped at me and tugged insistently at the edge of my dress. Though I was still angry, it was so pitiful a sight; I wondered why he didn’t just let go? I had to squat to hear what he was saying.

"Mah-hr mee... (Y/N)... Mah-hr mee..." Andrew was clutching at his wounded personals with one hand, my skirt with the other, and staring at me intently. God, his eyes were a more beautiful blue than any sky I had ever seen!

I blinked, forcing myself to focus. "What?"

Andrew cringed, before forcing out with a bit of a croak. "Please… don't hit me!"

I frowned. "I won’t tolerate you taunting-"

Andrew cut me off, but stayed in his protective fetal position. "-I was being serious! I did it just like you said you wanted, and you bloody hit me! I’ve taken blows to both my face and my privates, and you still don’t believe me! I don't know what to do to win you over; you're impossible! Please, what did I do wrong? I thought… it seemed to me that you liked our kiss too?"

I sat back down on the cushions and stared at Andrew. My face itched from the cheese, but the napkins were out of reach. What could Andrew possibly be getting at if he wasn't being cruel? "I don't understand."

Andrew groaned in frustration from the floor. "Isn't it obvious? I want you to marry me, (Y/N)!" He tugged, looking dejected, on my skirt. "Now I've ruined everything."

Andrew looked up at me with the most despairing expression I had ever seen on a man. "I'll give you Hecate, (Y/N)! She's my finest Drum mare, and any foal she has, a filly or colt, it’s yours as well!" My eyebrows shot upwards in shock!

Andrew sat up a bit and nodded, as if agreeing with me. "Of course, of course, if Hecate's pregnant, you'll want a stallion to ride, what was I thinking?!? Or do you prefer geldings? Perhaps one of both? More of each? Maybe a different breed? I can do that, I’m a modern man…"

My mouth fell open as Andrew babbled on to himself, talking to the ground, where he still held my skirt, now in both hands. "…I wonder if you'd like your own stables, your own staff..." He looked concerned abruptly. "You, you were fond of Porkchop! He has been my closest friend for years. Is, is that what it would take for you to marry me?" Andrew's voice got surprisingly small and frightened-sounding. "Do you... Must I give you my Porkchop?"

I shook my head, vehemently denying all charges. I didn't want to separate Andrew from Porkchop, steal away any of his other horses, much less accept the entirety of his bizarre display indicating his sudden desire for matrimony.

Andrew looked muddled. “(Y/N)… My father will never give up Danzig; I can’t give you Danzig. But if you marry me, I will come with you, we can visit him. I even gave him a treat earlier!”

Andrew had lost his damned mind! I had no idea what to make of any of his inexplicable behavior. My family wasn't exceptionally wealthy. I wasn't famously eye-catching like Andrew. I figured the tent house either had mold in it to which Andrew was sensitive, and the poor man needed air, he'd drank too much, or he had eaten something off (far off). Whatever the case might be, I hoped a walk would clear his head.

"Um, Andrew, I still have cheese on my face. How about I clean it off, and then we go for a walk? Get some fresh air, clear your head?" Andrew pouted immediately, his cheeks visibly puffing out.

"No!" I squawked as Andrew dragged me, by my petticoats, from the cushions to the ground.

Once again I found myself pinned by Andrew’s tall, lean body. My heart began a veritable steeplechase as other parts of me began to think exceptionally indecent thoughts. He used his sleeve to wipe the remaining cheese from my face. "Let me be by your side for the rest of our days, (Y/N)! Let me cover you with kisses every minute of every day."

Andrew hesitated, his face so close to mine, I was breathing his breath, and he mine. I had to kiss Andrew again; I would surely die without the touch of his lips! I felt a little guilty, taking advantage of a possibly drunken, attractive host. But it was just a kiss. I dared not give Andrew assent to kiss me lest he think I was agreeing to marry him, so instead I was forced to close the distance between us myself.

A sweeter caress I had never known! I felt his slender body press against mine, and, again, I could feel Andrew's manhood begin to ripen.

I felt keen regret as Andrew pulled away, and I opened my eyes. His azure thunderstorms focused on me intently. "Part your lips for me; slide your tongue into my mouth."

Shy, I opened my mouth, and felt Andrew slip his tongue inside! Ah! He brushed it against my tongue, and the sensation made me grab hold of him for the intensity!

It was overwhelming, this new kissing! Timidly I put my tongue in Andrew's mouth too, touching, exploring, stroking. All the while, his lips kept moving, periodically embracing mine, creating a gliding friction.

Kissing made me more excited than I had ever been! It made me want to get married right then, so we could have relations! Curious, I reached down and squeezed the bump at Andrew's crotch. He groaned loudly, but moved my hand. Why?

"(Y/N), please, you mustn't! I have the greatest respect for you and-" I frowned.

"-So you'll engage in pleasurable acts with other women before marriage but not me?" Andrew turned pink, pulling away.

“You think I am promiscuous? You have no interest in me other than that?” It was my turn to be ashamed, and I sat up.

It hurt to say, but I stared Andrew in the eye as I spoke the truth, carefully and clearly. “Andrew, I am not saying that, at this moment, you may not think you mean what you say. However, I am not treating your proposal seriously because I think you must not be in your right mind, be it from drink or something else. My family has little wealth and I have little to recommend me as a prospective bride. I apologize for being flirtatious with you,” I gulped, and a tear ran down my face, much to my chagrin, “I have never had a man pay attention to me, as you have now, and it feels nice. And I am curious. But-“

Andrew wiped my tear away with a thumb. “(Y/N), give me a chance to prove I am fully in control of my faculties? That I speak in earnest? Ride back to the mansion with me, and after dinner, I’ll propose in front of both of our parents.” I hesitated, somewhat stupefied.

“I asked you to marry me here, because I wanted to give you the choice, the option of saying ‘no.’ If I propose tonight, in front of everyone, you know that whatever you actually say will be irrelevant, my having asked alone will be like signing a contract.” Andrew sighed.

“Look, I know the idea of marriage is terrifying. Frankly, I’m really not thrilled. But I talked to my friend, Christian, he was the mongrel who was in here, being indecent earlier. And he said something that put everything into perspective.” Andrew smiled, and it was so bright, like rays of the warm sun.

“I’m so nervous, I don’t remember exactly what it was. But it was something about how I needed to act if I didn’t want to see you on the arm of some other man in the future.” Here, Andrew frowned. “I can’t stand that idea, (Y/N). I know we’ve just met, but no woman has stirred me in such a curious way as you.”

We both laughed. “If I have to go to some stupid diplomatic function, and you’re some other man’s wife, war could break out, (Y/N)! So, clearly, it would really be best if you marry me, to help prevent the future loss of lives, don’t you agree?”

I snorted. “That’s a stretch, Andrew.”

“Then how about this?” He smiled a goofy smile. Andrew took both of my hands and shuffled oddly, so he was resting on one of his knees more than another. “(Y/N), I implore you, in the name of God, to marry me, for I fear that it is unquestionably true that I will never be content again if you refuse me your hand.”

I looked at Andrew and saw nothing but sincerity, clarity, and hope in his eyes. His hands started to tremble a little when I looked at the ground. I couldn’t believe this was happening! He had to be feeling sick-

I felt Andrew squeeze my hands. “Please?”

I looked at Andrew, his eyes searching, now anxious. Something inside caved and my heart guided my actions. “Y-y-you may ask after dinner.”

Suddenly I was tackled again to the floor! Ensnared by that rather lanky man in a tight hug, Andrew was laughing so joyously, I had to laugh too, though it was hard to breathe. And he was kissing me, everywhere! My face, my neck, my chest, ah! I clung weakly to that giant, strange, enthusiastic monkey. Perhaps, if we did, somehow, get married, it wouldn’t be so bad after all?

Notes

Hmm... she sorta said yes...?