One Of The Guys

I sat in a waiting room once again. Ashley on my right. Andy on my left. CC didn't come because he didn't want to be involved. Jake didn't come because he didn't approve of what I had chosen to do.
As I waited, my hands shook. Andy took my hand to try calm my nerves. I didn't even try pull away, this is what I needed right now.

The nurse took me into the doctors office and set me up on the chair. My legs were separated and my feet resting on two high arms. After numbing my area she gave me a weak sedative so my body would relax and not move. The closer it got, the more nervous I became. Was I making the right decision?
The nurse must have sensed my anxiety because she asked me if everything was okay.
"Yeah, I'm.. I'm fine" I replied.
She smiled reassuringly at me.
"I know it can be scary, but you're in good hands here"
I smiled weakly at her.
"The doctor will be in shortly" she said.
My heart started beating faster. I could feel my palms getting sweaty. She was leaving for the door. A lump caught in my throat. I could feel my eyes tearing up. She opened the door to leave.
"Wait!" I called.
She turned back to face me.
"My friend is outside. Andy is his name. Do you think he could be with me for it?"
With her hand still on the doorknob she pulled an unsure face.
"We normally only let family in during procedures" she said.
"He's the father"
Technically it wasn't a lie. There was a good chance Andy was the father. And at that moment I was desperate for company. I couldn't go through it alone.
"I'll see what I can do" she smiled.

Shortly after, the nurse returned with the doctor and Andy. I sighed a breath of relief. The nurse got a chair for him to sit beside me. He took my hand in his.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Just couldn't do it alone" I answered.
He squeezed my hand and smiled at me.
"Everything's going to be okay" he said.
At that moment the doctor began the procedure.

It was painful. I'm not going to lie. Even with the anesthetic and sedation. I wouldn't have been able to get through it without Andy holding my hand and speaking reassuring thing to me. I'm pretty sure he even kissed my hand at one point. I didn't mind, it was kind of cute.

I needed to rest for 24hrs afterwards. I told Andy and Ashley that I would be fine to stay at my old apartment but they insisted I stay in Andy's place, where they both could look after me. The three of us set up on the couch with cushions, blankets and Netflix. Andy was at the far left, Ashley in the middle and I was on the right, sitting sideways with my legs over both of them. After a while, Andy went to make popcorn, leaving Ashley and I alone.
"How are you feeling?" asked Ashley.
"I'm tired" I yawned.
"I'm not surprised" he replied. "But, how are you feeling emotionally?" he asked. I pondered the question for a while.
"I'm okay" I admitted. "I don't regret the decision I made and I'm glad I can get on with my life now, without interruption"
"I'm glad you're happy" Ashley smiled.
We sat in silence for a while, watching the movie until Ashley spoke again;
"Look, I'm sorry for being so mean to you the past couple weeks. It's just, you hurt one of my best friends and I guess I overreacted a bit. I'm sorry"
I could hear the popcorn beginning to pop from inside the kitchen.
"It's okay Ashley, I totally understand. I probably would have reacted the same way. And I'm sorry if I hurt you in the process"
"Friends again?" he asked enthusiastically.
"Friends" I smiled.
He leaned over and gave me a hug. It was warm and protective. Just then Andy returned with the popcorn.
"Awh, you guys made up" he sat, plopping himself down beside Ashley.
"Of course we made up" I said while taking a handful of popcorn.
"Good. So what are we going to watch next?" asked Andy.
"Orange is the New Black?" I suggested.
And so we sat all day and all night, watching OITNB, eating treats and talking. For once we seemed like a group of three normal friends. No band talk, no shows, no sex, no drama. Just three friends enjoying a night together.
I hadn't felt this good in a long time.

Notes