Hanging by a Moment

A week passed, and thankfully, Jinxx’s dream didn’t turn out to be a vision. Legacy’d merely caught a cold from being so young and in colder climates than what she was likely used to. After all, the outside world was colder than in the womb, and with her being only six weeks old, it was no wonder she’d caught a cold.

Thankfully, all they really had to do was alternate Infant’s Motrin and Infant’s Tylenol to keep her fever down and make sure she stayed hydrated. As often as she nursed, keeping her hydrated was no problem since she wasn’t throwing up. That also helped her fight off the infection since she was ingesting the antibodies Rebel made just by coming into contact with her. All in all, she ended up not doing too bad, and even surprised Ash with how quick she seemed to be getting better.

She was glad to see the baby doing better for more than one reason, though. Aside from never liking seeing a baby or young child not feeling good, she knew it reassured her friend. He’d been scared senseless that his baby girl was going to end up with pneumonia, as she had in Jinxx’s dream, and that she wouldn’t make it. To see her getting better reassured him that he wasn’t going to lose her, which was every parent’s worst nightmare.

“Morning, Ash. You sleep good?” Rebel asked, sitting on the couch as she nursed both babies once again.

“I slept great,” he answered with a yawn. “What about you?”

“Same here. If it weren’t for these two waking up hungry, I’d have stayed in bed,” she chuckled.

“Really, now?” the bassist asked, grinning sleepily.

“Well, it was nice and toasty,” she laughed. “Besides, waking up in the monkey embrace of my very own space heater is kinda nice, too.”

“Say what now?” Ash paused and looked up from grabbing a bottle of water from their little mini fridge.

“Well, it’s not every day a man gives me a reason to call him a monkey and a space heater in the same sentence.” The young woman fought laughter so she wouldn’t jostle the babies too much.

Her friend blushed a bright pink, apparently embarrassed that he cuddled her in his sleep.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she told him.

“I don’t normally cuddle women, and definitely not ones I haven’t known very long,” the bassist admitted sheepishly.

“You do it once you’re completely out, so I figured it was a subconscious thing.” Rebel smiled up at him reassuringly.

Ash wasn’t about to admit that he’d been so lonely the past few years ever since he and his ex, Kina, broke up that that was part of the reason he went through women left and right. He didn’t want to admit that he’d basically been trying to fuck away the pain, something he’d stopped doing ever since finding Legacy. Apparently his subconscious still wasn’t satisfied, or he wouldn’t have been cuddling his friend in his sleep.

However, considering how long it’d been since she’d had what she considered a decent guy cuddle her, Rebel wasn’t going to complain. So long as his daughter came above all else and he didn’t try to take what wasn’t offered, she didn’t mind the bassist cuddling her. In fact, she could care less, if it made him feel better and helped him sleep.

While they were eating after she got the girls back to sleep, she even told him as much. She chuckled at the slight blush that stained his cheeks, ignoring the slight fluttering she felt in her heart as she took it in. They’d known each other only a month and a-half; she wasn’t about to let herself fall for him, regardless of his past, that soon. While that might work out for some people, it didn’t work out for her. She’d made that mistake with Logan’s father, and considering what it’d gotten her into and how nasty a taste it’d left in her mouth, she wasn’t about to sample that ice cream flavor again anytime soon.

Now a bit more reassured that she didn’t mind the action, Ash didn’t let his unconscious cuddling bother him quite as much. He was still a bit flustered that he’d been doing such a thing, but knowing she was okay with, and even liked, it helped him deal with it. Considering that they were pretty much forced to share a bed in their close quarters, he wasn’t sure what he’d have done if she had a problem with it. He definitely wouldn’t have been too happy if that resulted in either of them, especially him, sleeping on the couch.

“I’m kinda glad we’ve got another day off,” he said, sighing as he sat down on the couch.

“I’ll bet you are,” Rebel chuckled as she sat down beside him. “Y’all are so busy with shows, interviews, and Hell only knows what else that I’m not surprised.”

“And with me being a single father on top of it…” the bassist trailed off.

“Oh, I know single parenting is no walk in the park,” she told him. “I’m basically Logan’s only parent. Were it not for the courts forcing me to let her father have anything to do with her, I would be a single mother.”

“And doing it completely on your own, to boot,” Ash agreed.

“Exactly. Trust me, if anyone understands exactly where you’re coming from, it’s me,” she said.

“I dunno… I guess it depends on how long you’ve been single…”

“Since Logan’s father and I broke up well over a year ago.”

“Not quite as long since I broke up with Kina, the cheating bitch, but good enough.” He shrugged, not realizing till then just how close she was sitting.

“I wasn’t gonna ask about your past; as far as I’m concerned, it’s none of my business unless you want it to be,” Rebel told him.

“She and I had a wonderful relationship, for a rock star and a model…till she was stupid enough to cheat on me.” He sighed heavily as he looked down at his lap, one arm stretched across the back of the couch.

The young woman at his side merely sat quietly, not wanting to push him out of his comfort zone.

“I came back from one of our tours and literally caught her in my bed with another man. Needless to say, I threw her out on her ear, ended the relationship, and got rid of that bed.” Ash chuckled wryly. “From there, I was the idiot who tried to drink and fuck away the pain. Granted, it got me my beautiful daughter, but what else did it get me?”

“You’re still single and, judging by your unconscious cuddling of me, lonelier than you let on in the public eye,” she said. “Trust me, I get that, too. After Logan’s father raped me, I ended things and got as far away from him as I could. I even changed my name legally in the hopes he wouldn’t find me, for all the good it did. Now I fill my life with my baby as much as I can because I have no one else. There’s no one in my life besides Logan worth trusting and loving wholeheartedly…yet.”

The way she said yet made him think that he might stand a chance with her, but he knew he’d have to take things slow and tread lightly.

“I’m not saying that I’m not open to dating, and not that I’m trying to put ideas in your head, but I wouldn’t be opposed, even if it were you.” Rebel looked him dead in the eyes. “I’m just not jumping straight into things with anyone as quick as I did with him.”

“I don’t blame you there. With me or some other guy, that’s perfectly fine. Godsmack knows I’m not jumping straight into anything, not like I did with Kina.” He snorted at the memories.

Smiling, the young woman leaned up and gently kissed his cheek, glad they had an understanding between them. They might not ever get together in a romantic sense, and if they did, at least they both knew that the other didn’t want to rush into things. Considering that they also had their girls to consider when even thinking of romantic relationships, that was an even bigger plus, in her book.

Ash returned the smile and gentle kiss on the cheek as he wrapped his arm loosely around her shoulders. It’d been so long since he’d held a woman close to him like that and actually felt something for her besides lust that it was an amazing feeling to him. He felt like a teenage boy with his first grade school crush again. Considering how long it’d been since he was in grade school, much less had his first crush, it was definitely an awe-inspiring feeling to him…almost as awe-inspiring as the first time he’d seen and held his precious Purdy princess.

The two of them sat there on the couch watching movies in between taking care of and playing with Logan and Legacy. Since he had the day off and the guys were apparently sleeping the day away, he decided he’d rather stay there on the bus. Unless it was necessary that they leave, he just didn’t feel like facing the public today.

With baby Legacy still recovering from her cold, Rebel agreed that limited exposure to the outdoors was best for her. It would keep her from catching anything else, and getting as much rest and fluid as she could would help. There was nothing he wanted more for his daughter than the best, just as she did for Logan, and he was determined to make sure she got just that. She was already growing up without ever knowing her birth mother; he was determined to make sure she got the best in everything else since he couldn’t give her that.



Over the next month and a half, Ash got the hang of being a father more and more, and it was something he was very proud of himself for doing. His baby girl was thriving, even though they were still touring like nobody’s business in support of Black Veil Brides. He was happier than he’d ever been so see her doing so well, despite having technically only been home for a week before they embarked on this.

As Warped Tour 2015 loomed straight ahead of them, he was glad to be getting some time back at home. Granted, aside from having Legacy now, things were a bit wilder than he’d been anticipating, but that was okay. That was all what made life fun and even worth living, in his opinion.

Granted, he didn’t like that they’d returned to find that Rebel’s landlord had decided that, because she wasn’t there, he was going to clean out her apartment. She’d been paying the rent and had a friend stopping by to check on Apollo, but he’d still been a complete ass to the single mother. When she’d called him, completely flabbergasted and sounding like she was in shock, he’d immediately gone over to the complex she’d once lived in. Even if all he did was get Logan and babysit her for a bit, he felt it was the least he could do for her in her time of need.

When he got there, that was when he found out exactly what’d happened. Angered that the crotchety old bastard had caused one of his closest friends and her infant daughter to become homeless, Ash gave him a piece of his mind. He’d tried to argue that no one was there, that she didn’t have a daughter. He proved his claims to be lies, that he’d known what he was doing when he stabbed her in the back, which caused several other tenants to disappear back into their homes and start looking for other places to live.

“You and Logan don’t have to worry about a place to live,” he said as he walked over to the passenger’s side of his car. “Even Apollo is guaranteed a place to live.”

“What are you talking about, Ash?” she asked, her brow cocked in both confusion and curiosity.

“Until you can find a new place, you guys are gonna live with me,” Ash said. “I can’t have y’all on the streets, and being a father myself now makes me wanna move y’all in with me.”

“You’re seriously willing to do that? Even though you admitted your apartment is only a two-bedroom place?” the young woman asked, shocked.

“Yeah. The girls can share Legacy’s nursery, and we can share the master,” he answered, nodding. “Aside from not being mobile, it’s really no different than when we were on tour.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Rebel conceded with a nod.

“Besides, that’ll reassure me because I’ll know you guys are safe. It’ll also gimme a chance to attempt returning the favor you paid me by helping me figure out what the Hell I was doing when I first found my daughter.” The bassist brushed her hair back from her face. “I know I’ll never fully repay it, and that you might not want me to at all, but it’ll make me feel better, at least.”

Seeing no way to argue with his logic, she merely smiled as she tilted her head into the gentle touch. If she were willing to delude herself, or live in some sort of alternate reality or fantasy land, she’d swear he was treating her as he would a girlfriend. Then again, from what she’d heard before he found Legacy, he was a total Playboy.

Ash made sure she was all right, Logan’s carrier locked into its base in his back seat, and Apollo’s carrier settled in the seat between the babies before climbing into the driver’s seat. Since her ex-land lord had gotten rid of all of hers and her daughter’s belongings, they didn’t have shit to pack up and take with them. The girls could deal with sharing a crib for a few days since they were already used to it, but he wanted to make sure Logan had her own for when they got too big to do that.

It wasn’t long, despite the typically insane LA traffic, before they got to his apartment. Rebel’d only been in it once, the day they met when she helped him carry in and put away his and Legacy’s groceries. The only rooms she’d been in were the public rooms, the half-bath by the stairs being the only exception when it came to private rooms. Her own daughter’d never been in here because, before she got the chance, they’d left for tour.

To be completely honest, she’d been a bit torn on his decorating style when it came to the living room. She’d seen more black and white in that one room than she’d ever seen in a black-and-white movie, but she hadn’t said anything that wasn’t nice. The half-bath was painted, of all colors, a pale pink and decorated in a bit of a beach theme. It seemed to have more coral incorporated in the décor than anything she’d ever seen, but that was okay; it was still beautiful. The kitchen was entirely too modern for her taste, but then again, she hadn’t been the one to design it, so again, she said nothing.

“Hopefully what little decorating I’ve done will be to your liking,” Ash said, setting Logan’s carrier down since it was heavier as he unlocked the front door. “I haven’t really done much since I refuse to go overboard on a rental property.”

“That explains why everything’s so…well, eclectic, to say the least,” she chuckled.

“Yeah, pretty much. The kitchen was exactly how you saw it before, and I wanted the living room to somewhat match,” he said sheepishly. “The half-bath was already decorated in that ridiculous coral reef theme when I moved in. The only rooms I decorated myself are mine, Legacy’s, and my bathroom.”

“Which explains why you picked out such a beautifully-themed crib set and worked on it from there,” the young woman said. “Granted, I did the same thing with Logan’s nursery, but still…”

“Speaking of, don’t worry about Logan having a crib and whatnot,” he told her. “We’ll go get you guys some clothes since you don’t have much and told me your assholian land lord chucked all of your stuff, clothes included.”

“You don’t have to do that, Ash. Yeah, it’ll be harder, but we can get by with what little clothing we have now,” Rebel told him.

“True, but what about when Logan outgrows hers? You know she’s not gonna stay that small forever.”

She had to admit, if only to herself, that he was right. She wasn’t even in the same size clothes she’d been at the beginning of the tour, and babies grew outrageously fast.

“Like I said, we’ll take some time for you guys to settle in, then we’ll go shopping for whatever y’all need that you don’t have,” Ash said.

“I’m just not sure I like the idea of you paying for everything,” the young woman told him, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re one of my best friends and you clearly need help. Even if I have to help you financially for a while, that’s really no different to me than when you helped me get the hand of fatherhood, something you’re still doing.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

“I know it’s not easy to rely on someone else, but better than you and your infant daughter starving while homeless.”

“I’d leave Logan in good hands and kill myself if I tried everything to care for her and still failed,” Rebel growled, looking at him with a fierceness in her eyes that only a loving, determined mother could cook up.

“I should hope you’ll never kill yourself at all, but at least you’re willing to try any and everything before resorting to something as drastic as that.”

Smiling, the young woman moved to wrap her arms around his waist, and Ash couldn’t resist wrapping his own arms around her. He also couldn’t resist the urge to nuzzle his nose into her hair, which smelled like pomegranates from the shampoo she used. It was a beautiful, fruity scent that suited her, as far as he was concerned.

Before he knew it, he was having to let her go so they could get their daughters settled in for their morning nap. He really didn’t want to lose the comforting sensation of holding his friend in his arms, feeling her heat as they pressed as close to one another as they could without uniting their bodies in a physical sense. Swallowing so hard he almost gulped audibly, he turned to pick up Legacy’s carrier as she picked up that of her own daughter’s. He pushed all romantic thoughts of her from his mind, not wanting to take things too fast.

Would he give anything, and he meant anything, aside from his baby or her well-being to have Rebel in his arms, in his life, until the day he died? Of course he would, because she was beautiful, strong-willed, and did everything she could for Logan and those around her. Did he think it was possible to show her what love really was, that it wasn’t what she’d experienced in the past? He wasn’t sure, but felt he’d eventually find out.

Notes