Love Never Fades

Five days later, on the morning of Christmas, Andy awoke in a slightly dimmed mood. He was at home with his parents in Cinncinati to celebrate both the holidays and his birthday, which was the next day. He’d been holding out hope that he’d hear from his best friend at some point before then, and had just about given up hope that he was still alive.

However, Amy’d convinced her son that, since there were no reports from anywhere in the country of an Ashley Purdy turning up dead, he was probably still alive. Now why he hadn’t gotten in touch with any of them was still a mystery, one that wouldn’t be solved until and unless they managed to find him. Still, not hearing from him hurt, but what hurt more was when he didn’t get so much as a Merry Christmas from him, or even a birthday and Christmas card in the mail.

Still, he forced himself to get up and be in a somewhat good mood, if only to avoid spoiling his parents’ Christmas. They knew he was upset and missing Ash, and they knew that his own mood would be dampened a bit due to that, but they didn’t know he was slowly becoming depressed. He was just too good at hiding things he didn’t want them to know, remnants of his high school years, he supposed.

“Morning, son,” Chris said, smiling as he came downstairs. “Merry Christmas!”

“Morning, Dad,” he responded, managing a smile. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”

“Breakfast is ready!” Amy called from the kitchen. She’d continued the tradition she’d started when he was a young child, if only for some sense of normality.

“Good. I’m starving, baby,” his dad said, rising from where he sat on the couch.

“I could use food, too,” Andy agreed, following him. “I can’t remember the last time I had more than a pack of peanuts.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I made plenty,” his mom chuckled. “You two eat up, then we’ll open presents.”

“Sounds awesome,” the pair agreed, dishing up what they wanted.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet, spent just opening their presents and getting caught up on each others’ lives. While they knew about the Ashley Situation, as they called it, they didn’t know that the rest of the band was planning on continuing without him. Now that their drummer had been replaced, given that Sandra decided the band Modern Day Escape was a better fit for her, they really wanted to.

He and the guys had been holding off on going back to the studio for a couple months, hoping to hear from their vanished bassist before they made any decisions. They wanted to include him in their new album if he still wanted to be a part of the band, but now they’d been forced to make a choice.

An ultimatum had been laid down by the record company, saying that if they didn’t get back in the studio after the holidays, they’d lose their record deal. After working so hard for it in the first place, Andy wasn’t about to give it up, if he didn’t have to. He didn’t want to take on the role of bassist, but he’d do whatever it took to make his band a success. Since they hadn’t heard a peep from Ash in months, he was forced to take over his best friend’s role in the band, instrumentally speaking, or lose all he’d worked so hard for. It was a hard decision to make, but he’d really had no other choice.

Still, that didn’t mean he’d completely given up hope on the older man. If he ever heard from him in the future and he wanted to rejoin the band, he’d fight for him to return to his old place. He wouldn’t let him be excluded, even twenty years from now, without fighting for his return. If he chose not to rejoin the band, that’d be fine with him, and he knew it’d be fine with Jake and Jinxx, too. He couldn’t really speak for CC, their new drummer, and wasn’t going to try.

He could only hope that, if he ever did find Ash, that he’d find out what’d happened to make him run off and be able to make amends, if he was part of the reason he’d left.



In central-Eastern Tennessee, Ash awoke with a soft groan from a kick to the bladder on that same morning. It appeared that the one he’d figured out was the more dominant twin was awake bright and early, already squirming and kicking. He smiled as she prodded at him from the inside, apparently wanting him to get up since it was Christmas morning. Either that, or she was just being a brat and being a bit mean since she obviously didn’t really like when he wasn’t moving around.

He managed to muster up the energy to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed, groaning again when he took another kick to the bladder. As fast as he could manage, he stood up and made his way to the bathroom, using the wall to help him find his balance. He still felt a bit unsteady most times, but it wasn’t as bad as before.

Once he’d emptied his squished bladder, as well as let the laxatives he’d taken work their magick quite nicely, he cleaned himself up. With that, he made his way into his closet for some loose clothes, as he didn’t want too much pressure on his belly. Not only was it uncomfortable for him, but he suspected it couldn’t possibly be healthy for the girls. He figured that too-tight clothes would cut off his circulation, and they wouldn’t get what they needed.

“Good morning, Ashley,” his grandmother said, smiling when he came downstairs.

“Morning, Grama. Morning, Grampa,” he yawned, covering his mouth before stretching as best he could.

“How’re you feeling, son?” Daniel asked. He knew his pregnancy was a bit rough on him.

“Still a bit constipated, but not as bad as a few days ago,” he answered, blushing. “Other than that and kicks to my bladder and ribs, I haven’t felt better since before I got pregnant.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Leana said, grinning. “I never really felt better during my pregnancy than in the middle months.”

“Didn’t you tell me after Amaryllis was born that it was because there was no sickness, but she wasn’t so big that it hurt yet?” his grampa asked, turning his attention to her.

“Exactly. She had space to move around without really hurting me, and I wasn’t constantly fighting to keep down my food,” she answered. “Aside from the constipation, anyway, I felt my best during those few short months.”

“I can’t really disagree there,” Ash chuckled, rubbing his belly as he sat down on the couch. “These girls are gonna be the death of my bladder, but hey, it’s worth it.”

“I told you when you first came home that it would be,” his grama laughed.

The trio dug into the plates she’d set on the coffee table, enjoying their Christmas breakfast before starting on presents. Curious, Leana asked him if he was going to wish his ex-bandmates a merry Christmas, and tell Andy happy birthday the next day. That drew a sigh from him as he sat back, his now empty plate on the coffee table.

He admitted that he’d been planning on sending out a Tweet with his ex-bandmates, and their new drummer, tagged that said Merry Christmas. However, he was still torn on wishing his best friend, his daughters’ father, a happy birthday. He told her that he’d never revealed when his birthday was online, and therefore he didn’t want to give himself away or freak him out by doing that. Despite that, he still wanted to since he was his best friend…or at least had been when he left.

If he were honest with both himself and his grandparents, Ash just wasn’t ready to come clean to him about his secret. He now knew, based on Tweets he’d been sending out for months, that Andy still cared about him, if only in a friendly way. He was worried sick since he’d left and hadn’t contacted any of them since then, and it was obvious that he missed having his best friend in his band.

Still, he feared that he’d call him a freak for being able to conceive like this, that he’d deny the girls from not remembering their drunken tryst. He didn’t want their father denying them to their faces, be it as newborns or many years down the road. He was stressed enough as it was and didn’t need the extra stress; he also couldn’t handle cutting Andy out of their lives permanently if he refused to take responsibility for his actions. That was what made wanting to contact them in any way, shape, or form so stressful for him: those old fears that still hadn’t gone away, that he doubted ever would.

After breakfast, Ash headed back up to his room where he’d left his laptop and decided that he may as well send out the Tweet he’d told his grandparents he was going to. It took a lot of courage on his part, and hope that they wouldn’t realize it was him, to tag the four men and Sandra, then type out Merry Christmas, guys! It took a lot more courage click the button that said Tweet, but he still did it. Ash hoped and prayed that, if they responded at all, they wouldn’t realize it was him and start asking questions. He wasn’t ready to answer them, nor face their judgment for his decision to run away. That, and he wasn’t ready to face their requests that he come home, back to California, when he’d made his home here in the hills of the Appalachains.

Within a few minutes, he got a reply from every one of them, including the new drummer, who called himself Christian Coma. They all thanked him for the merry Christmas wishes and wished him one in return. He couldn’t help but smile happily as he rubbed his belly, glad that they weren’t freaked when someone who used the alias Amethyst Peyton, which was very similar to his name, Tweeted them. That is, until he refreshed the page and saw that he had a direct message, which made him both excited and wary. The only thing he could think of was that one of them had sent him a message to start a deeper conversation, and he hoped that nothing about his disappearance was mentioned.

Due to the character restrictions, he had several messages that were meant to be one, but they read, Ashley, I know it’s you. Please, if you still want anything to do with us or the band, lemme know, and soon. The record company threatened to back out on our record deal if we didn’t get back in the studio after the holidays, but I feel horrible about giving into their demands without you here. Your best friend, Andy.

“No…no, no, no,” he whispered, his eyes widening.

“Ashley, are you okay?” Leana asked, peeking into his bedroom.

“I Tweeted the guys and Sandra, and Andy somehow figured out it was me,” Ash answered, sounding a bit scared.

“Well, the alias you use does have the same initials as your name,” she said sensibly. “I tried to talk you outta that, didn’t I?”

“I know, but I don’t feel right going by a name that doesn’t have those initials,” he told her. “I just didn’t think he’d realize it was me.”

“Are you sure he knows?” his grandmother asked, sitting down beside him.

“Read the message for yourself,” he said, turning the laptop to face her.

“Oh, dear,” she breathed when she was done. “So…what are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell him what happened?”

“Grama, I’m still scared to tell him,” Ash said, bending over to rest his head on the desk. “I don’t want him thinking I’m a freak, and besides, I can barely hold a guitar or bass right now. I wouldn’t be able to help them in the studio if I tried.”

“True, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t tell him, even if it took a while for you to be able to sing and play again,” she mused.

“He wants me to take my old spot back. I can’t do that if I’m pregnant, and besides, what about when they get here?” He gently rubbed his belly as he sat up again. “They need stability, not being dragged all over the country. And if they can’t have both parents, they need at least one.”

“True enough,” Leana conceded. “Stability means more to children than they realize.”

“I know that all too well from my own childhood,” he told her. “I know we didn’t move around as much as we could’ve, but still… And all after losing my parents?”

“I know, Ashley…I know…” She wrapped her arms around him in a loose hug. “Aside from your other fears, I get why you’re so hesitant to tell him.”

“I just wish I could, and that it weren’t so hard.” Ash returned the hug as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you c’mon back downstairs and we’ll open presents?” she suggested. She knew he needed to get his mind off this and possibly respond to Andy’s message later, if he ever did.

Nodding his agreement, he rose from the chair and followed her, but the question still remained: was he going to tell his best friend, or was he going to continue hiding their daughters from him?

Notes