Love Never Fades

On the afternoon of April twenty-first, his due date, Ash was jolted awake by a particularly painful contraction. He’d felt a few painless ones for the past month or so, but they’d been getting increasingly uncomfortable over the past week. This morning they’d been a bit painful, but nothing he couldn’t deal with, so he told his grandparents not to worry for the time being. He wasn’t sure if he was actually going into labor, or if it was a false alarm, so he didn’t want them to worry.

Because he was pregnant with twins, he was actually surprised he’d gone right up to his due date. Dr. Davis had told him he’d likely have them a month or so early, which wasn’t too bad and was completely normal for a twin pregnancy. When he’d passed that mark without going into labor, she watched him very closely, almost like a hawk.

She told him that if he went too far beyond his due date without going into labor on his own, she’d be forced to induce him. Since they’d long ago discovered that he was capable of a natural delivery, that his body was adapting for one accordingly, that’s what he’d planned on doing. He didn’t want to be induced since there wasn’t a thing about induction that was natural, but it looked like he wouldn’t need to be.

“Grama,” he called weakly, the pain taking his breath.

“What is it, Ashley?” his grandmother asked, peeking into his room.

“It’s time,” Ash ground out. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going into labor now.

“Lemme call Dr. Davis and see what she says,” she told him. “She may tell us to wait here at the house for a while.”

He nodded his agreement as his body relaxed, the contraction gripping him ending.

It wasn’t long before Leana returned and told him that his OB/GYN had said to wait till his contractions were eight minutes apart, a bit further apart than she’d say for a woman, but then again, he wasn’t a woman. He groaned at the thought of waiting even that long, wanting nothing but the best for his girls, but didn’t want to go against doctor’s orders.

The afternoon passed entirely too slowly for him, and he didn’t like being in such pain. He switched between laying on his bed, walking around the house, leaning over counters, and kneeling or squatting in front of the couch. At times, the pain was so unbearable that he was crying loudly, his grandmother rubbing his belly while his grandfather rubbed his back. They did everything they could to soothe him until it was time to go, but little they could do helped with the pain.

Finally his contractions made it to eight minutes apart, and Leana ran upstairs for his bag while Daniel helped him out to the truck. They’d already decided she’d take him to the hospital while he followed in the Tahoe he’d since bought. There wasn’t enough room in his grandmother’s little Colorado for all of them, but that was fine.

Once checked into the hospital and settled in a labor and delivery room, Dr. Davis quickly checked his progress. She was happy to announce that he was seventy percent effaced, meaning that his cervix was quite soft and pliable, and five centimeters dilated. That also meant that he could get an epidural for his pain, if he wanted one, without it slowing down his labor too much, if at all. He’d honestly wanted a completely natural delivery, which meant no pain medication, but now, he wasn’t too sure. Ash’d never really had a high pain tolerance, and he’d long since been pushed beyond his limit by his contractions.

“That’s perfectly fine, Ashley,” Dr. Davis told him when he begged for mercy. “I’ll call the anesthesiologist, who’ll administer the epidural.”

“I wanted a natural birth so bad,” he sobbed, tears of agony streaming down his cheeks.

“I know you did, Ashes, I know,” Leana said soothingly, gently rubbing his back. “Believe me, I know how bad it hurts. We didn’t have epidurals back when I had your mother, so I had to suffer through it all.”

“He doing okay?” Daniel asked, finally arriving at the hospital.

His grandmother repeated the report the OB/GYN had given them, which made him smile.

“I know it hurts, son, but you’re halfway there,” he said, sitting down on a stool and taking his hand. “It’ll be over soon, and you’ll get to meet those precious baby girls.”

Ash screamed and grabbed his hand tightly as another contraction started, his whole body tensing as a fresh wave of tears rolled down his cheeks. His grandparents did what they could once again, sighing in relief when the doctor returned with another woman following close behind her.

She introduced the woman as Dr. Howell, who was a bit surprised to see that their laboring patient was a male. Still, she was sworn to help, not harm, and doctor-patient confidentiality forbade her breathing a word to anyone else. She could get in a lot of legal trouble if she were to break that confidentiality agreement, and they all knew it, so they knew his secret was safe. No one would have to know if he didn’t want them to, and that was exactly the way he wanted it since he wanted Andy to stay clueless.

Once she’d prepared herself and her patient, the anesthesiologist quickly numbed the skin of his back with a local anesthetic. Ash winced and groaned at the burn, but it was nothing in comparison to the torment of the past few hours. Even the pressure from her inserting the needle she threaded the catheter to wasn’t very back, nor the pressure of her fingers as she taped it down once it was in place.

“Feeling better now?” Dr. Howell asked after getting everything hooked up and the drip started.

“Much,” he sighed, smiling in relief. “I’m not feeling a damn thing below my waist.”

“That’s how it’s intended, so that means it’s working,” she told him, smiling. “Just have Dr. Davis page me if you need anything else.”

“Will do,” the bassist answered, nodding. “Thanks again, doc.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Mr. Purdy,” the anesthesiologist said, waving as she left.

“Now that you’re a bit more comfortable, let’s check you one more time before I let you get some rest,” Dr. Davis piped up.

Knowing the drill, Ash nodded as he pressed his feet together and drew them up as close to his pelvis as he could manage.

“Up to eighty percent effacement and six centimeters,” she announced, pulling her hand from under the sheet she’d draped over his knees. “You’re making excellent progress, for a first-time mother carrying twins.”

“Definitely sounds like it to me,” Leana agreed, squeezing his hand. “I don’t think my own labor with his mother moved quite this fast.”

“Well, every mother’s different, and so is every pregnancy,” the OB/GYN said.

“True enough,” his grandmother agreed.

“Now, you try to get some rest. The pressure of the contractions, which you’ll still feel, might keep you awake, but at least try.”

“I plan on it,” Ash sighed. “I’m so exhausted I might be able to sleep through it, anyway.”

Chuckling, Dr. Davis left the room, leaving the trio in peace to attempt catching a nap before the delivery.

* * *

Another six hours passed before Ash was dilated enough to start setting up for the delivery, and he was a bit scared. Not only was he nervous about giving birth for the first time, but they’d had a scare about an hour ago where Magick, baby B, had seemed like she was going into distress. Because her heart rate had dipped, he’d been put on oxygen to make sure she and her sister, Legacy, got enough during his contractions.

Despite all the hard work it took, things went smoothly and, before he knew it, he was holding little Legacy in his arms. His cervix had tried to close a bit, so they had to wait for it to fully dilate again before he could deliver her twin, but that was fine, so long as she didn’t appear to go into distress again.

Just a few minutes after his first daughter’s birth, Dr. Davis told him that he was dilated enough to deliver her twin. He nodded as he handed Legacy to his grandmother, who held her tenderly while a nurse moved to take her place. She and his grandfather had been holding his legs up and open while he was pushing, but they’d brought in another nurse in case the delivery took so long that they had to switch out. His OB/GYN knew they were strong and spry for their ages, but didn’t want to strain them too much.

“C’mon, Ashley! Push!” she said half an hour later.

So exhausted that he couldn’t speak, he grunted as he bore down yet again.

“Damn it! Charlene, grab me the forceps!” the OB/GYN demanded.

“Wh-what?” he managed to stutter as he let out the breath he’d been holding to push.

“She’s going into distress again, Ashley,” Dr. Davis told him. “I’m gonna have to use the forceps to help get her out faster.”

Terrified now that something would happen to his younger daughter, Ash nodded frantically. They knew he’d been doing his best, but she told him that sometimes, even a woman needed an extra helping hand like this. It was a common thing in natural deliveries, and being told that soothed him enough to keep him from freaking out.

Dr. Davis quickly stretched him enough to get the forceps around his daughter’s head, then gave him the order to push again. Taking a deep breath, he curled up and grabbed the backs of his thighs as he bore down, pushing with all his might. As he pushed, his doctor pulled as hard as she could manage without hurting the infant, which helped draw her out of his body. Soon afterward, she got her out far enough that he was able to get her out with continued pushing on his part.

When she was finally born, Ash was a bit tense until he heard a soft gurgling before a loud, ear-piercing cry rent the room. His body collapsed into the bed and a huge grin split his face as Magick took her first breaths before her cord was even clamped. Once it was, the OB/GYN offered his grandfather the chance to cut it like she had with Legacy before handing her off to the waiting pediatric nurse.

Over the course of the next few minutes, they waited patiently for the placentas to detach from his womb so he could deliver them. The contractions leading up to that weren’t nearly as bad as during his actual labor, nor was as much effort required. After they’d been delivered, Dr. Davis quickly stitched up the episiotomy she’d been forced to give him when they realized his body hadn’t quite adapted enough. He was just glad he didn’t feel her stitching up his entrance as he held his girls, who were now swaddled in little pink receiving blankets from the nursery.

“You can hold ’em while we’re moving you, if you want,” she told him once they were done. “Or you can give ’em to your grandparents, or the nurses.”

With a look of slight distrust, he handed his daughters to his grandparents since he didn’t feel comfortable holding them while being moved.

“It’s all right, Ashley,” his grandmother soothed him as she held Magick. “You know we won’t let anything happen to them.”

He gave her an exhausted smile as Dr. Davis and the nurses started moving him to another room where he’d spend the next few days recovering. Once settled in the recovery room, the doctor left him alone so he could spend some time bonding with the girls before they were taken downstairs to the nursery.

A nurse came in to help him start nursing, but he didn’t really need the extra help. Between his own instincts and those of the twins, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, especially since Leana was there, too. He winced at their greedy suckling, his nipples swollen and tender from the hormones, but that was okay. He knew that without those hormones, he wouldn’t have been able to nurse and, without formula-feeding them, they’d have starved to death. That was the last thing he wanted, so he paid hardly any attention to the discomfort.

Once they were done nursing, she and Daniel showed him how to burp them to get the air out of their little bellies, which was easier than he’d thought it would be. They burped relatively quickly, and it was soon time to change their diapers before swaddling them once again. After all that, Ash got to hold his babies one last time before a nurse came to take them down to the nursery, where they’d be observed while he got some rest. He didn’t really like the idea of being separated from his daughters, not after carrying them under his heart for the last nine months, but was too tired to argue.

With his little ones in good hands, he settled back into the bed and got his grandparents to help pull the covers over him. They both kissed his forehead as he dozed off, wishing him sweet dreams and promising they’d still be there when he woke up. He nodded slightly as he dozed off, finally able to get some true sleep. The one thing that never crossed his mind while laboring and giving birth was his best friend, his daughters’ father.

Notes