Love Never Fades

The next five years of Ash’s life weren’t the easiest, but they certainly weren’t the hardest, either. Even with losing his grandfather in the fall of 2014, he’d still faced harder challenges than just raising his babies single-handedly. Sure, the up-all-nights and constant diaper changes when they were newborns weren’t fun, nor was potty training when they were two, but it wasn’t that bad. The fact that Leana was still there helping out as much as she could, even after losing her husband, which helped him a lot.

He’d worked in a few clothing stores for the first couple years after they were born, but for the past three, he’d worked from home as a clothing designer. He’d started his own clothing line in early 2013, only a month or so before their second birthday, which meant he was at home with them more.

Now it was August, and more importantly, their first day of kindergarten. Of course Legacy and Magick were a bit scared, both because they didn’t want to leave their mama and because they were afraid the other kids would pick on them for their names. He told them to tell those kids exactly why he’d chosen those names: because they were born into a legacy most kids only dreamt of, and one night of a special magick had brought them to him.

Of course, Ash was a bit nervous about dropping them off at Rush Strong Elementary School, which was less than a mile from their house. He knew nothing bad would happen to them, as it was a very small town and everybody looked after their neighbors. Not only that, but even after starting his clothing line, which had his name in its title, none of his old friends had gotten in touch with him. They also hadn’t tried tracking him down, at least that he was aware of, so he knew they were clueless about his daughters. That also meant that Andy was still clueless, as far as he knew, which was what he’d wanted all along.

“Have a good day, girls,” he said, kneeling down to hold them.

“You, too, Mommy!” they answered, both wrapping their arms around his neck. The town had since found out he’d carried and given birth to them, so he wasn’t embarrassed about them calling him Mommy.

“I’ll be here to pick you up when school lets out, okay?” Ash promised them. “And if I’m not, which is doubtful, Granny will be.”

“Okay, Mommy. We love you!” Legacy and Magick chorused.

“I love you girls, too,” he answered, ruffling their hair. “You be good for your teacher now, ya hear?”

Giggling, they nodded as they ran into the classroom and picked desks that were side-by-side.

“I dunno how you manage to raise ’em so wonderfully on your own, Mr. Purdy,” their teacher, Miranda Cane, said.

“Well, I don’t necessarily have to,” he admitted, sighing. “I’m just afraid their father will call me a freak if he ever finds out about them.”

“Either way, you’re doing so well on your own,” she told him. “I haven’t seen children as well-behaved as them in years.”

“Thanks, Miss Cane,” Ash said, grinning. “I was raised a certain way, and I’ll die trying before letting them be little hoodlums.”

Chuckling, the teacher waved to him as she headed into the classroom with the few kids aside from his daughters who were already there.

Sighing softly and shaking his head, he headed back out to his car, which was parked outside the school. Only when he was alone, usually late at night, did he think about his old friends, and what his life would be like if he hadn’t slept with Andy that night. He really missed his old life sometimes, but then again, he loved his life as it was now.

He’d kept tabs on Black Veil Brides and discovered that, along with replacing Sandra, they’d eventually found a replacement for him, too. It wasn’t until they headed into the studio in the spring of 2014, right around the girls’ third birthday, to start recording their fourth, self-titled album, but they’d done so. He guessed they realized that, if he was even still alive, he wasn’t coming back and he knew his best friend loved playing bass, just not while they were on stage.

The younger man was too energetic while in front of a crowd, so while he’d done his best after recording their albums Set the World on Fire and Wretched and Divine, it just wasn’t his thing. It also wasn’t lost on Ash that they’d gone that long without replacing him in the hopes that he’d contact them, maybe even return to his position. When he’d failed to do the former, much less the latter, they’d been forced to move on.

None of them knew that he’d run away that night so many years ago because he’d been stupid while he was drunk. He still considered that drunken tryst a mistake, although it’d given him something he’d never thought he’d have. Additionally, his girls were as much a part of him as they were his best friend, so he felt like he got to hold on to a little piece of Andy, anyway. The fact that Legacy and Magick had his startling blue eyes, not the older man’s mysterious brown, was another reason he thought that. Still, he just couldn’t bring himself to admit what’d happened to any of them.

“Ashley, you have a letter,” his grandmother told him when he got back from dropping the girls off.

“Probably another bill, or something to do with my clothing line,” he said, brushing it off for the moment.

“It’s from…Andy,” Leana told him, her voice soft.

“What?” Surely he hadn’t heard right, or had finally lost the remains of his sanity. “How’d he find me?”

“He didn’t find you, Ashley,” she said. “I left a forwarding address from our old home in Missouri with strict instructions not to give it out, just in case this happened.”

“Lemme see it,” he requested, sounding a bit demanding.

His grandmother handed over the envelope, which had a return address scrawled in Andy’s sloppy handwriting, along with who it was to go to. He quickly tore it open, wondering what it said and just what he could’ve wanted after all this time, considering that he hadn’t tried contacting him since that direct message on Christmas of 2010.



Ashley, I dunno if you’re still alive or not…I hope and pray with everything in me to any and all deities that’ll listen that you are. I miss you so much; even though I’ve since managed to fall in love with someone new, I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before…as more than just a friend or brother.

I hope that you get this letter and send me some kinda response, if only to let me know you’re all right. Yeah, I’m curious as to why you left in the first place, but that’s not as important to me as knowing that you’re safe and still breathing. You left so abruptly and haven’t contacted us since that sometimes, I can’t help but wondering if you’re dead. Only my mother has managed to help me keep my hope alive, but I sometimes feel like it’s fading, and fading fast.

If you are still alive, I want you to know that I’m engaged now. I met my fiancé, Juliet Simms, on Warped Tour 2011…the very first one you were supposed to be with us on. She and I have been together ever since, and I think you’d be proud of me for growing the balls to finally pop the question to her. Then again, maybe you’d be jealous, for some unknown reason, if you still walk this earth.

She and I are planning on getting married next summer on the beach, but you know that could change. I’m hoping it won’t, and that you’ll be there as my best man. If the date does change, for whatever reason, I’ll keep you posted, in case you decide to come. Like I said, I’ve loved you as far more than a friend and brother for many years, even though many have said I shouldn’t. I really hope to see you again, and I hope even more than you’ll say yes to being my best man. If I don’t hear from or see you again before I die, just know that I love you, regardless of what sent you packing that night.

Your best friend,

Andy.



“Holy shit,” Ash breathed after reading the letter thrice.

“What is it, Ashley?” his grandmother asked curiously, taking note of his wide eyes and gaping mouth.

“He’s still holding out hope that I’m alive, that I’ll get in touch with him,” he said, his expression turning sad. “He says he loves me, much the same way I love him, if his words are any indication…but he’s found someone else, too.”

“Well, can you really blame him?” Leana asked. “You’ve been gone for over six years; I can’t really blame him for finding someone else to spend his life with.”

“I know that, Grama,” he snapped, although he didn’t mean to. “It just hurts that he’d move on, as much as he claims to love me, without searching for me.”

“I suppose that’s true,” she sighed, sitting down beside him.

What he didn’t know was that Andy’d had a private investigator searching for him since January, 2011, but he’d covered his tracks too well. The man hadn’t been able to turn up anything on him after he disappeared, and had eventually given up around the time their self-titled album was released in October, 2014. Granted, that hadn’t stopped his best friend from hiring someone else, but how was he to know that?

To his get his mind off the letter he had no plans of responding to, not even to accept or deny his request to be his best man, Ash headed up to his suite. He’d been meaning to get a new design emailed to the team that he worked with on his clothing line; he saw no better time than the present to do so.

Immersed in his work as he was, he didn’t realize that his grandmother was writing her own response to the younger man’s letter downstairs. She refused to tell him exactly where they were living, choosing to use the PO Box address she’d gotten for sending and receiving things related to Ashley Purdy Fashion. She just couldn’t bring herself to let him keep thinking he was dead, and she hoped her grandson wouldn’t be mad at her. Then again, with no plans to tell him about the girls, Leana didn’t think he would be.

Notes