Love-Hate

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. I kind've freaked out but then I remembered I was back in Los Angeles, for how long? I'm not even sure.
I didn't make a move to get up, I just sort've curled up into a ball staring at Patrick who sat on the chair in front of my desk facing me. I had a concentrated look thinking back on when Andy had won it for me on our six month anniversary.
Back then I was careless when it came to love, I fell easily and whenever I did manage to fall in love I fell hard.
I stretched my arm out and grabbed Patrick the Panda by the ear and cuddled him, he had a stale scent of emptiness.
I sighed and buried my face into his fuzzy head his fur tickling my nose and it gave me the more reason to hug him tighter. I feel so frustrated with myself I hate Andy but yet here I am cuddling this stupid stuffed animal he got me like he just won it a few hours ago.
I sighed and threw him at the end of the bed you're twenty three years old Catherine, get your life together god dammit. I laid in bed for a few more minutes until nature called which I reluctantly got out of bed pushing the warm covers away and letting the cool air hit me.
Goosebumps rose around as soon as my bare feet made contact with the wooden floor it feels like I'm a teenager again waking up for school but no I'm waking up because I need to pee. I turned back to my bed and whispered.
"I'll be right back baby." Then I tiptoed to the washroom which was unoccupied.
The house was really quiet it was almost illegal, how could Lindsay live in such a quiet environment if my parents still lived here there would be the smell of coffee and the radio playing downstairs in the kitchen while dad read the newspaper and mom would be making breakfast for four savages she calls her children.
I chuckled at the thought as I sat on the toilet and let it go, my eyes were still half open and I had this ridiculous smile playing on my face as I hummed.
After the washroom I washed my hands and basically made a run back to my room as the toilet flushed. I hated when toilet's flushed. I always had and probably always will which means one of my children will end up with my idiotic fear of toilet flushing.
I mean I got that trait from my dad who use to speed walk from the washroom every time I caught him. I laid back on bed and pulled the now cold covers back over my body. It feels like minus ten in here, maybe I'm catching a cold?
But I just got over a nasty flu so that would be my luck if I did happen to catch a cold. After about a half an hour of me straight thinking I heard Lindsay walk passed my room and the bathroom door shut.
I decided to go downstairs to make us breakfast it was the least I could do since she brought my things inside while I took my sweet ass time in here last night. I went down the stairs quiet as a mouse and sighed at the kitchen came into sight.
Not to sound totally cliche but the kitchen was my favourite place to be since I do love to cook besides when I'm working in a salon or on one of my models who happen to live in Chicago so I definitely need to find some soon. I put on some coffee and I was surprised to see my dad's old radio, I pressed the big black button and on came his music that he always loved to listen to.
I remember when Sarah and I were smaller he use to set us I his feet while we danced away with him right here in this very kitchen.
Such memories this house is, it's practically memory lane to me. I took out some eggs and found the bacon and some hash browns,
I'm going to become house wife of the day today! I turned up the radio and put on one of Lindsay's aprons before preparing meals, I had the bacon cooking in the oven and the eggs looking rather tasty as I scrambled them, the hash browns were slowly cooking in the pain on the left back burner.
"What's cooking good looking?" I heard Lindsay behind me, I turned around with a smug smile.
"Breakfast. Good morning. Coffee?" I asked as she set Maddison in the high chair.
"Good morning to you too. And black.. Just like my soul." She yawned sitting down next to Maddison's high chair.
"Does she eat solid food yet?" I asked Lindsay pouring a cup of coffee and handing it to her before returning back to my cooking.
"Yeah, she just needs the bottle of milk incase it gets stuck in her throat." Lindsay said before cooing as Maddison who giggled.
"2%?"
"Yep. But it smells good in here." Lindsay said to me.
"Of course it does. I'm cooking." I said before flipping a strand of hair behind my shoulder to act sassy.
"Cheeky." Lindsay laughed as I finished off with the eggs and covered them so they'd still be hot when the rest of the food is finished. I turned the bacon around and the hash browns before preparing a bottle for Maddy. I smiled as Maddison openly laughed at me as I handed her the bottle.
"Do you mind watching her? I need to shower." Lindsay asked.
"Oh not at all. Take all the time you need, I want to bond with this little one." I said cooing at Maddison by the end of my sentences poking her stomach to make her giggle.
"Okay thanks. Love you." Lindsay said walking upstairs.
"Cat loves you to!" I shouted back at her.
"Cat." Maddison said smiling up at me.
"Uh-huh that's my name. But between you and me you can call me Kitty if you want?" Maddison nodded eagerly and beamed with happiness.
"You're just the cutest little girl ever Kitten." I said kissing her forehead.
"Kitty. Food." Maddison said pointing at my hash browns.
"It's almost done Kitten. A few more minutes." I got off the chair and went back to tending to my food.
While waiting for the bacon to be done I was currently playing paddy-cake with Maddison when Lindsay came down in her robe and her hair up in a towel.
"Bakers man! Make me a cake as fast as you can. Roll it, pad it, mark it with a K put it in the oven for kitten and me!" I said changing up a few words, I had loved the name I had given Maddison, I'm her kitty and she's my kitten.
"Having fun my girl?" Lindsay asked.
"Uh-huh I like Kitty can we keep her?" She asked.
"Of course we can. Let's just hope she doesn't have flees." Lindsay joked making me gasp.
"I'll have you know I went to get my shots done." I said sarcastically before taking out the crispy bacon, the scent filled the whole room.
It was like as heavenly as a Sunday. I made three plates and stored the rest away for later, this time not forgetting to turn off the oven I set a plate in front of Lindsay and one in front of Maddison before I sat down.

After we were done breakfast Lindsay helped me clean up which didn't take long since we both were practically clean freaks so living together shouldn't be a big problem.
"So did Pete get in yet?" I asked sitting on the couch with Maddison cuddled up on my lap singing a song from Dora The Explorer.
"Yeah they got in this morning. He was going to come home to surprise you but Ash-they need him." She told me clearing her throat.
"Okay, so anyways who's going to be watching this little one?" I replied tapping my finger on Maddison's nose making her giggle.
"Melanie. Well she's coming to watch the concert but the after party is a big no-no so Melanie is going to watch her for the night. So I suggest you pack a bag of clothes because we're staying either in a bus or the hotel." Lindsay said looking at her phone and smiling.
Probably a text from Pete. I continued to play with Maddison until she got tired out and Lindsay went to put her down for her nap.
My mom had wanted me to call when I landed but my mind was off in Catherine land last night so I pulled out my phone and dialled her number.
A few rings later and she picks up.
"Hello my little baby." She said I could hear the smile in her voice. I made my way upstairs to my room.
"Hi mom." I replied sitting on my unmade bed and getting under the covers.
"How was the flight?" She asked and I heard music in the background.
"It was good but I would rather not do it again." I told her truthfully making her laugh at my comment.
"But you're coming down for Christmas right?" I mentally sighed, I haven't seen my mom since Christmas and that wasn't too long ago four months to be exact and we still have like seven months to go until next Christmas.
"Yes mom I will. I promise." I replied getting warm underneath my covers.
"Okay baby. I have to let you go your father is getting home any minute. I love you." She said.
"I love you too mom, tell dad the same." Then we hung up as I set my phone on the bedside desk that had scratches from over the years. It felt weird yet homy to be back in Los Angeles the last time I came here was when Lindsay was giving birth to Maddison and I never had another reason to come back.
A few hours go by and Lindsay comes in my room telling me to get ready for the concert and I asked if we were going to stand or be backstage and she replied with a sassy voice.
"I'm not getting sweaty standing with mostly teenage dweebs and drunken people." So I took that as we were standing backstage this is the first time I'll be standing backstage and I was really excited so I go up and went through my closet only to find one good outfit which was a black dress that complimented whatever curves I was blessed with and flats and a white blazer. I let my natural hair be seeing as I liked the waviness it had to offer but I straightened my bangs till they laid flat on my forehead. I didn't do much with my face just some mascara and a little eyeliner. I know all sorts of hair styles pleasing to the eye yet I didn't do much with my hair simply because I liked the way my hair was. I put some sweats and a t-shirt in a black bag.
She said we're staying on a bus or the hotel. I kind've hoped it was a hotel because tour buses looked really unsanitary and cramped knowing me I'd probably be cleaning whenever I can since I hated small spaces and nothing else relaxed me.
I tugged to the bottom of my dress while it was riding up on my mid thigh, I had a feeling I'd be doing this all night so I better change before some mistakes me for trying to me seductive.
I turned back to my closet in a sigh I had nothing sexy yet classy to wear, Lindsay came in my room with shorts and a fancy little tank top as soon as she seen me she had a smug look.
"Who is that for?" She asked.
"Oh honey it's for you." I said pulling it back down.
"You look great. I'm sure you'll catch peoples eyes." She told me.
"That's not the point I'm changing." I said waving my hands in the air looking back at my closet.
"Too late Cat. Pete is here to pick us up. Now let's go." Lindsay said making my eyes widen.
"I still need to brush my teeth!" I exclaimed running to the washroom and picking up my toothbrush and my toothpaste. Within two minutes my mouth felt clean and I felt decent.
I walked back to my room, put my charger in my little black bag and took my phone with me as Lindsay was hugging Maddison.
"I'll see you tomorrow my love!" Then she pulled away slightly to give a kiss on Maddison's lips. I walked downstairs and Maddison ran up to me.
"Kitty leaving to?" She asked quietly staring at me with big puppy dog eyes.
"I'll be back with mommy and daddy tomorrow okay kitten?" I promised and kissed her head while she went to stand by Melanie.
"Have fun." Melanie smiled at us.
"We will." Then we walked out of the house and I spotted Pete leaning against his car looking down at his phone.
"Pete!" I shouted catching his attention and running down to hug him. I missed my other best friend dearly.
"Cathy!" He yelled and hugged back tightly. I grinned, I missed having this annoying hilarious best friend of mine around after awhile you get lonely.
"Are you excited for the concert?" He asked.
"Of course! My first time being backstage!" I said excitedly.
"My love!" Lindsay squealed and planted a hard kiss on Pete's lips. I just looked away awkwardly, third wheeling as it's best.
Once they pulled away we piled in the car with me being in backseat while they held hands.
Making me remember the last man who held my hand also held another women's hand at the time, that was two years ago and lately I haven't been putting myself out there but tonight it will all change.
If there's a guy that wants my number hell I'll be sure to give it to him, if he wants to dance I'll sweep him away and lastly if he wants to continue seeing me he'll have to prove to me that he'll be worth it.
I looked out the window at the world moving around me, they mean it when they say the world waits for no one. As soon as we pulled up the venue I seen people already lined up at the front doors, bless them.
They are really dedicated fans to whomever they've come to see but I caught a girl wearing a Black Veil Brides shirt and wondered if they're going to play tonight? I walked next to Pete who had Lindsay on his arm as we walked passed security.
"So who are these guys you work for?" I asked Pete as we walked out to the your busses there were four tour busses, on had a BVB logo and the other ones were just plan jane so I didn't exactly know who else was here.
"Pete. Ashley wants you in the building they're doing sound check." Some guy said to Pete.
"Okay thanks Charlie. Hey do you know if he'll need his extra bass? Because last time he broke his favourite bass." Pete yelled at the guy named Charlie.
"Probably. I mean he's careless when it comes to being on stage. I'd take it just in case." He shrugged then walked off towards the tour busses.
I just followed Pete around like a lost puppy then there was Lindsay who was so sure of herself talking to people as they walked by laughing along with them and I was the awkward friend who stared at her shoes too much and twiddled her thumbs.
"Okay we're going inside the venue. Cat dear don't freak out okay?" Lindsay said in a sorry tone, it couldn't be right? I can't be.
We passed a long hallway and I seen the dressing rooms Black Veil Brides, Memphis May Fire and Ghost Town I have never heard of any of these bands why would she expect me to freak out? As we got closer to the stage I heard music then it cut off.
"Ashley you little shit what are you doing?" I deep male voice shouted into a mic in assuming.
"I'm trying to play bass! But Pete isn't here to help me!" I guess that was Ashley.
No it couldn't be, not Ashley Purdy from high school right?
"Shut up you pancy I'm here now." Pete said laughing as they all turned to look at where the voice was coming from. One by one I looked at all of the people, I knew them all and my stomach lurched with each boy I recognized.
CC, Jake, Jinxx, Ashley and last but certainly not least Andrew Biersack.
I felt the blood all drain my face as I started to freak out.
"Lindsay you knew it was him all along and you didn't tell me!" I hissed grabbing her arm.
Not only did she drag me here knowing who exactly Black Veil Brides was she didn't tell me.
"If I said who they were you wouldn't come!" Lindsay protested.
"I haven't seen any of these people since high school! I hate them all! Do you know what horrible rumours they spread about me!?" I shouted. "Oh but you wouldn't know you were too busy sucking face with Pete." Then I stormed away feeling the tears fall.
I hated crying and I hated how Andy can still influence these feelings I thought I for sure got rid of.
After about a couple minutes of walking I went outside because I need to breathe and I sat on a bench by the tour busses, I tried to remain calm to but I couldn't handle my feelings whatever feelings showed all at once I was busy moping and staring at the ground I hardly noticed somebody sat beside me.
"Catherine." He sighed.

Notes

So truth be told I had this chapter done like a day ago but I kept putting it off but I insisted to myself that I write this before I loose all the lovely interest you amazing people showed. I really hope you like this chapter even though I feel as if I rushed towards the end. Now I'm going to sleep without a guilty conscience.