Love-Hate

I looked over at Andy and immediately wanted to run away, to go and hide in a hole forever because I'm not emotionally stable around him even after five god damn years and here he is sitting next to me on the bench our knees almost touching.
I longed for Andy's touch but I couldn't I hated him, push him away.
Don't say any feelings.
"What do you want?" I said coldly.
"I can't believe it's you-" Andy closed his eyes because he probably realized what he said was stupid. "-what I mean to say is how have you been?" He asked me.
"Good." I told him before looking away and silently adding 'before you had to come along' but I didn't dare for all I knew the Andy I've come to hate could still be lurking around waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on me.
"Listen Catherine, that guy you knew six years ago is gone. He changed for the better." Andy told me trying to explain himself but I stood up.
"No Andrew, I don't need an explanation okay?" I stated.
"Catherine please-"
"No Andrew, just leave me alone." Then I walked away a part of me wanting to cry and another part wanting to go back and punch Andrew until he knew what kind of pain he put me through in high school.
I bumped into someone when I was wiping my tears and when I looked up it was Pete.
"What do you want?" I asked looking away.
"I need to apologize for Lindsay. It was a dick move to not tell you who the guys were." Pete told me sincerely. I sniffled and hugged him.
"Thank you Pete." I whispered.
"You're welcome. Now let's go the show starts soon." He said letting me go and grabbing my arm.
"Pete can I just go somewhere to rest? I'm just really tired and need sleep." I asked quietly, I just didn't want to see Andrew and his friends.
I avoided them for five years well me being in a totally different city but the point is still valid.
Pete sighed and gave in. "Follow me Cathy."
He smiled sadly and we went away from the stage and where I heard continuous chatter and guessed that the crowd was already in the venue waiting for their heroes to sing to them. Pete opened a door and it had a black leather couch and duffel bags.
"This is Memphis May Fire's dressing room. I'm sure they won't mind that you crash here. Sweet dreams Cathy." Pete told me kissing my temple then leaving me to my own thoughts.
Memphis May Fire, I have never heard of them but I liked their name. I laid on the couch and within five minutes I was out like a light.

"Is she alive?" I heard someone asked then I'm assuming they got smacked our something.
"Of course she is idiot! She's sleeping." Another guy said.
"No need for violence Matty." One guy grumbled.
"Then stop being a fucking dumb ass Elder before I smack you again." I guess Matty hissed.
I groaned and tightened my eyes before opening them. At first the ceiling light blinded me but when I came to I was looking at three guys who backed away slightly.
"Hi." I said sitting up and shaking my head.
"Sup dude." One guy with short black hair and tattooed sleeves said sitting next to me.
"I'm Kellen and these two idiots are Matty and Cory." He told me. I waved shyly at them and looked down at my bare legs.
"What's your name?" Cory said sitting next to me.
"Catherine." I said shyly smiling at them.
"Well we're Memphis May Fire!" Cory said loudly making me giggle.
"Nice to meet you guys." I smiled.
"Not to be rude or anything but why are you in here?" Kellen asked making Matty slap him too.
"Oh um, my friend Pete said I could pass out in here." I said awkwardly and rubbing my arm.
"You're friends with Pete!? Well why didn't you say so!" Cory shouted making me flinch and it caused Matty to smack him again.
"Quiet down will ya? No need to scare the living shit out of Cat." He told Cory glaring.
I smiled and felt a little less awkward now that Matty has called me 'Cat' which is weird since he suggested it.
"Sorry." Cory muttered.
"It's fine, really. I'm just not comfortable around you guys yet since I just met you." I told him making him nod.
"Hm okay. Everyone let's hug Cat to make her comfortable!" Cory said and pulled me to his chest then I felt Kellen's arms around me to and I looked up at Matty who said. "Ah fuck it."
Then he hugged me. I laughed and tried to hug all three of them.
"Thank you guys." I said as they pulled away.
"You're welcome Cat." Matty shrugged.
"So what kind of music do you play?" I asked no one in particular. "Why won't you be the judge of that?" Matty said and passed me a CD called Unconditional.
I smiled at him and nodded.
"But my personal favourite that's not on that album is Miles Away featuring our buddy Kellin Quinn." I threw him a questioning stare but Kellen is right beside me. Matty started laughing and it confused me even more.
"Not our guitarist silly. He's in another band called Sleeping With Sirens." Cory told me.
I furrowed my eyebrows together, Sleeping With Sirens? Memphis May Fire? How in the blue fuck do people remember these names?
"Um okay. But is the concert over?" I asked.
"Black Veil Bride's is still playing. Do you want to go watch?" Matty asked me, and I nodded right away.
We all decided to go watch whatever Black Veil Brides still has left. Kellen put his arm around my shoulder and tensed me less, these guys were acting like they new me for years but it hasn't even been an hour but hey I'm not complaining. It's usually hard for me to make friends but these three guys make it seem so simple, I guess it's easier for guys who met thousands of people.
I heard music getting louder as we turned a corner.
"Okay this is our last song of the night and unfortunately the tour! You guys were fucking amazing!" I heard a muffled voice said. We went through a door and the deafening sound of people cheering scared me.
"This song is calls In the End!" I recognized the voice. It was Andy singing.
We went to watch from side stage and I seen Andy jumping and singing to those kids, they looked so happy and it made me feel safe and at peace. I smiled slightly and looked around to see many faces I didn't know but I seen Lindsay and Pete.
I walked away from Kellen and stood beside Lindsay.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I was just I don't know." I said to Lindsay sighing.
"Its fine Cat. I should've told you and let you decide for yourself." Lindsay frowned and hugged me.
"Well I would've liked it if you did but a part of me would've say yes anyways." I confessed.
"I'm sorry Cat." Lindsay mumbled.
"It's okay Lin." I whispered and hugged her tight.
After their song they came off stage all sweaty and grins on their faces.
"THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING." The guy with his hair teased said smiling. I just stood quietly next to Lindsay while she chattered with whoever, I'm that awkward friend.
"Cat!" I looked up and seen Matty calling me over, he was standing next to Kellen, Cory and two other guys.
A small smile found it's way on my lips as I made my way over waving at the two guys shyly.
"Cat this is Jake and Anthony." Cory said. I nodded and said hello to both of them but they pulled me in for hugs.
"We don't do cheesy greetings!" Jake said sighing and making me chuckle.
"I'll keep that in mind." I told him. After the venue cleared I walked on stage, everyone went back to shower or to go see the fans who remained outside.
The equipment was gone and the stage empty as if there wasn't a concert not too long ago.
I sighed and closed my eyes imagining being on stage in front of hundreds even thousands of people as they yell my name or even my band.
It was never a dream of mine but I bet people could see it clear as day. I'm too shy, I'd probably come off as bitchy to whatever fans I had.
"Crazy isn't it?" A voice said behind me, the voice I knew from anywhere, the voice that would creep in on my dreams. I turned to look at Andy who was coming out on stage to join me.
"Yeah." I whispered but it echoed throughout the venue.
"Why do I get the feeling you don't want me here?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"Because I don't want to be anywhere near you Andy." I held out my trembling hands. "I can't seem to focus when I'm near you."
"Am I suppose to be flattered?" Andy said.
"It's the kind of thing I usually have before I get a panic attack." I told him truthfully. I hadn't had one since he broke up with me but I come close several times just by being in the same room as him.
"Ouch."
I shrugged looking away.
"Catherine. I want us to start all over again." I heard Andy getting closer.
"We can't."
"And why is that?"
"Because, I hate you." I told him backing away.
"But at the same time you want me around." Andy said smugly. I shook my head furiously. It was a cheap lie, I hated Andy but I hated myself more for occupying these feelings for him. I wanted Andy around but I couldn't say it.
"Andrew don't come any closer." I warned as he took another step towards me.
"Are we really doing this again?" He asked me. "Where you run and I chase you?"
"You wouldn't have to if you just left me alone." I spat feeling tears brimming at the corner of my eyes.
"But we both know that won't happen will it Catherine?" Andy said grabbing my waist and pulling me close to him. His body pressed against mine and I felt his breath on my lips. I tried to push Andy away, that's right tried but he held on tighter to me, pulling me with him.
"Leave me alone." I said through clenched teeth.
"Why would I do that Catherine?" Andy whispered leaning in.
"Why now?" My voice cracked. "You left me alone for over a year and you left me alone at graduation. You ruined one of the best days of my life Andrew Bi-" His lips touched mine and the butterflies exploded in my stomach.
I wanted to melt into the kiss but I couldn't, I shoved Andy away and angrily wiped my lips with the back of my hand.
"C-"
"Don't!" I shouted.
"P-"
"Just leave me alone Andy!" I spat and ran away leaving him on the stage alone.
A sob made it's way out of my throat as I kept running wanting to put as much distance between Andrew that I could manage but my little legs took me so far and I collapsed in a hallway. My crying echoed in the hallway as my body shook uncontrollably. I hate how after so many years he still has this effect on me, to manipulate me.
A stayed there for a few minutes until I stopped crying and I could stand stably. Two can play at this game Andrew Biersack was all I could think.

Notes

Oh my god I'm not dead!?!? What! Just kidding, finally done this shitty wording I call a chapter. I hope you all enjoy very much!