Escaping Grace

"This paint hasn't come out of my hair," I complained, staring at my relfection in the mirror. "I look like I had a bad dye job."
"You look fine." Andy called from the living room. "It'll comebout eventually."
"Says the guy with a smiley face on his cheek."
"Look, you're the one who put it there."
"I was merely marking my territory," I called to him, fixing my eyeliner. "Can't have anyone else touching what's mine."
"Like I would let that happen. I'm a one girl kind of guy."
I snorted. He'd already proven that he --- no, brain, now is not the time to get all snarky.
Just change the subject.
"So Vales parents are moving over to Clarkes finally, so I can actually go back to the apartment," I said, adding mascara to my lashes. I blinked a few times, then pulled back.
"Do you have too? About the time I get used to you being around, you always go back." I heard him complain, and I frowned at my reflection.
"Well it's not like I can move in," I told him, and sighed. Talking to him through the half open bathroom door while I did my makeup really wasn't working for me.
I leaned back enough to glance at him where he sat on the couch, combat boots propped on the coffee table, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He had his dark hair flicked back out of his eyes, and he was wearing one of his torn, sleeveless shirts that had black paint from a concert all over it.
I chewed my lip as I looked at him.
For a moment I'd been afraid he'd ask me to move in with him. He'd made the comment jokingly once, but ever since the whole drunk I love you thing, I had this intense irrational fear that he would be serious one day.
I shouldn't be this way, really, because I was pretty sure I was past the falling in love with him and into the hardcore I really was mad for him and I had no idea how to deal with it.
Stupid, huh?
I shouldn't be afraid to be in love with someone. Maybe it was just the fact that it gave them the power to hurt me, control me again. Ever since before... I was just so afraid that someone would... Well, I don't know. I just didn't want to feel that pain again.
Call me a coward, but that was just how I felt.
I sighed and closed my makeup case.
"Jinxx is gonna stop by for a bit," Andy suddenly called. "And I think he was bringing Ash along."
And unfortunately it wasn't going to be Ash Ketchum, I thought glumly.
God, why was I in such a mood? Ashley hadn't done anything wrong for me to be so negative about him. My period must be close.
"That's cool. I gotta head out anyway, " I stepped out of the bathroom. "I wanna see Vales parents off to Clarkes. You know he's just super excited."
"About excited as any 26 year old would be to have his parents stay almost a week with him." Andy responded, leaning his head back against the couch as he looked at me. "When you gonna be back?"
"Later tonight," I leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead, "I'll call when I head back over."
"Ok," Andy caught my hand. "Be careful."
"Totes!" I called, flashing him a smile over my shoulder as I opened the door.
"And I told her, 'look, you can't stay over, I have someone else coming over', and she was all --- oh, hey, Leah." Ashley and Jinxx had been walking to the door as I opened it, and I forced a smile at them.
"Hey guys. Long time no see."
"Shyeah. Where you heading off too?"
"Vales parents are moving to Clarkes."
"Oh, cool. I know CC was freaking out about meeting them," Ashley commented, stepping bout of the way as I descended the steps.
"He panicked." Jinxx nodded.
I chuckled, pulling my jacket on tighter. "I'll see you guys later, okay? Have fun with Andy," I waved as I started down the street.
"We will!" Ashley called as they stepped inside.


"I've never been so glad to live alone," Vale groaned as she flopped back on the couch. "They're finally gone."
"You know you'll miss them," I teased, nudging her legs out of the way so I could sit. "And you'll be home next week."
"I know. But at least Clarke will get to suffer them now."
I rolled my eyes.
"So, how was your weekend with Andy? Your rave pics make it look like you were partying so hardcore, just like the old days." she raised one artfully sculptured brow at me. "We're not going back to that, are we? I can barely deal with Nate now."
"No," I pinched her leg. "I didn't expect to party with Oli. Though he did bring me KFC."
"Redeeming quality one."
"It's a one time thing. You know how low my tolerance is."
"I know. That's what worries me."
I rolled my eyes.
"Really, Leah," Vale was staring me down. "The Xavier days are over, yes?"
"Yes, mom, they are."
"Good." she looked satisfied. "I couldn't deal with hungover Leah all the time. I can barely deal with hungover CC."
"Yeah." Should I mention what Andy had said? I wondered as I looked at my best friend. Should I tell her he'd told me he loved me?
But what if it HAD been just a flook? I didn't want to agonize over it much more. And I didn't want to mention it to Vale and it end up being nothing and then she saying something to Andy and he didn't even remember saying it and then it would be weird and I wouldn't know how to handle it and I would be mortified and, and --- I wasn't going to mention it.
I shuffled uncomfortably, and then hopped to my feet. "Ima get a change of clothes. You and CC can have the apartment tonight. Andy wanted me to stay over another night."
"You're staying over a lot there. Isn't it a bit much?" Vale asked, and I paused a brief second as I went around the kitchen table. "I mean, you guys haven't been together long and you're practically living there."
I bit my lip. "Is that you wanting me to stay because you miss me?" I joked weakly. I didn't want to have a serious conversation with Vale on this; especially when I was already thinking it myself.
She sighed. "You know I miss you. And I'm glad you and Andy are happy. but I worry its going so quick, yknow? I mean, he's the first guy since Ross, and you guys really seem to care about each other. I just don't want you to move too fast and spark out.."
I stared at Vale, feeling suddenly anxious.
What if she was right? We were going much too fast? Maybe we needed a break. Not like an actual, "hey lets take a break and date other people," break, but one where I didn't stay over as much, or see him every single day, or practically live with him --- that kind of break. And a break I wouldn't tell him about. I would just wean myself away.
Because we did need a break, didn't we?

Notes

Leave a comment! Should they take a break?