Escaping Grace

I stared at him in horror.
I was in love with him.
"Leah?" Andy looked hesitant. "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"
I shook my head mutely.
I had to get away from him.
I started to leave, but he grabbed my arm, forcing me back. "You're not gonna run away from this, Leah. We need to talk."
"We have been talking," I strained away from him. "There's nothing more to say."
"Leah! Listen to me," he turned me around and clasped my face between his hands, forcing me to look at him. "Listen to me! I thought you didn't care, that you were fine with our deal." he stared at me desperately. "And I thought I was fucking up because I --- I like you. Much more than I thought I would."
I squeezed my eyes shut. No, I didn't want to hear this. I couldn't do this again. I couldn't love him, it would hurt too much.
"Please," I whispered, "please don't."
Andy stilled, and then slowly dropped his hands from my face.
I opened my eyes, and stared at his chest. I could feel the bus slowing to a stop, so maybe we were at the cars now. I could leave and never look back. I had to be selfish in this, I had to protect myself.
I couldn't feel this way for Andy, and I didn't... I couldn't... I couldn't love him like he would deserve.
My heart had never healed enough for that.
When I heard the others start shuffling to get off the bus, I turned to leave.
"Don't go," Andy said softly. "I don't want this to be over. We can make this work, just like before."
"It's not like it was before," I responded, "Not now. It's not your fault, Andy. I messed up."
I had ruined everything.
"No, I won't let it be like that." he strode forward until he stood in front of me, blocking the only exit. "You're not going to leave this bus until I get a damn good explanation."
I glared at him. "Get out of the way."
"No." he glared back at me. We stood there for a minute, glaring at each other, neither of us budging.
My gaze wavered.
"Leah," Andy lifted a hand, and his thumb caressed my cheek. "Tell me."
I shook my head.
It wasn't his problem.
"Leah, after all this time you can trust me," he stepped closer until any movement would make us touch. "You know that. Just tell me."
I couldn't. I just... I couldn't.
"I have to go," I whispered.
"No." Andy narrowed his eyes, and I looked away. "We're not over."
"We ARE over, Andy. I don't want to do this anymore."
"You don't mean that."
"I do! This isn't about---." Andy kissed me. He pulled me against him, holding me tightly by my arms where I couldn't pull away.
I strained away from him.
"I don't want this anymore," I gasped, turning my face away. "Just let me go."
"This isn't going to end like this," he said fiercely. "You care. I fucking care."
"I don't care," I said in a small voice.
He rolled his eyes.
"Guys!" we both stiffened as we heard Ashley. "Come on! The bus wants to leave!"
Andys grip slackened, and I slipped away from him.
I rushed to the front of the bus and hastily down the steps. Vale and the guys were all waiting by the car, her face nervous. CC was with her, and I could tell he didn't know how to react. Everyone else was scattered throughout the parking lot, loading their things or on their phones.
I was halfway to them when he grabbed me, jerking me around angrily. "You can't keep running away from me!" he snapped.
"I can do whatever I want!" I tried to jerk away from him, but his grip was like iron. "I don't answer to you!"
"Why don't you trust me?" his voice dropped. "You want to just break up and not tell me why."
"We're not breaking up, we were never together. And because I don't want to feel anything for you! I don't WANT to care, got it? Now let me go."
His eyes narrowed. "That doesn't make sense."
"Not to you.," I shook my head.
"Goddammit, Leah, stop doing that! You can't say shit like that and not explain! You're like that about everything! We've been sleeping together for months and you've never trusted me with a damn thing, nothing! You just act like it doesn't matter or ignore it completely, and that's not going to work anymore."
"You don't have to yell," I hissed, feeling everyone looking at us.
"It seems to be the only way I can get through to you." he glared at me furiously. "I slept with her to get back at you, to get SOME fucking reaction out of you. You blow everything off, but you're pissed off and I know it. Just admit it. Admit you do feel something."
When the hell had he become to sensitive? I didn't like this, I didn't like talking about how I felt. This was way out of my comfort zone.
"I ---," I didn't even know what to say. I'd never seen him so mad before, and I didn't know what I even wanted to tell him. The words bunched in my throat.
"Let me go, Andy," I begged. "Please."
"We've been together for months," his eyes burned into mine, "you've practically lived with me. And this is how you want to leave it?"
Oh fuck.
I chewed my lip.
"I don't want to talk about this." I muttered.
"I'm so sick of hearing you say that!" he pulled me closer to him. "I don't care about your past or what it was like then. It's not gonna be that way. I won't hurt you like your ex did."
I stiffened.
"The only mark I want to leave on you is a kiss," he murmured, stepping so close to me I could only hear him when he spoke.
I went rigid.
He'd seen my scars.
My eyes went to his.
He'd seen them.
And he'd never asked me about them.
He'd never even hinted.
He'd waited for me to tell him myself.
Oh.
I bit my lip.
Oh.
"Leah, I promise you." Andy finally let go of my arm. "I want to keep you safe. Let's Just start over, okay? Pretend all this never happened."
he took a step back, then offered his hand.
"I'm Andy."
I hesitated. I didn't want to do this. I wanted to just break it off and not look back, or try not too. This would end badly and one of us would get so hurt. Everything in me told me no.
I took his hand.
"Leah."

Notes

Do you think Leah should have agreed? Tell me what you think in the comments!!