Escaping Grace

"What the fuck, Leah? You shouldn't have forgave him so easily," Vale chided me as I sat on the couch. "He fucked that Clara girl! And he knew she was Dannys! He's shit."
"Please drop it, Vale."
Andy and I needed to talk, but on our own terms. I didn't want anyone else around, and I didn't want any distractions. Somewhere public would be our best bet.
"No, I'm not going to drop this." Vale walked around the couch and stood in front of me, hands on her hips. "He slept with her just to be an ass to you, and who's to say he won't do it again? We don't need them, Leah. Our band has plenty of exposure now we don't have to play anymore; we don't have to go on tour."
"Vale, you don't understand."
"What don't I get?" she scowled at me. "Just because he fucks good doesn't mean he's good for you."
I narrowed my eyes at her. It had been two days and she still hadn't let this go, and it didn't appear she would until she got it out of her system.
"Leah," she sat down beside me and grabbed my hand, "I want you happy. I do. You're my best friend. But Andy is just the first guy since Ross, okay? He makes you feel good, but he's not permanent. You just need to move on."
I glanced away. She had a point, and I knew that. Everything she said made complete sense. But just because he was the first guy I'd been with since I left Romochka didn't make a difference. I'd already screwed myself over, so why not just go full throttle? I would never admit to anyone how much I cared; I'd almost had a heart attack when I'd realized it myself.
After Romochka, I'd swore never again. And I'd meant it. Now it looked like I was eating my words.
I sighed, and squeezed Vales hand.
"Just let me do this, okay? We have some stuff we need to talk over, and if it just doesn't work out, then it doesn't."
Vale didn't look pleased. "You're just going to get yourself hurt."
Probably.
"I just want to see what happens."
Vale scowled at me, then stood and walked into the kitchen, still grumbling at me.
I sighed, looking at my phone. Andy and I had agreed we wouldn't talk to each other until we met somewhere public to hash everything out. So no texting, no phone calls, and no seeing each other. No matter how badly I wanted too.
I chewed my lip. I needed to stop messing everything up. He honestly meant way more to me then I had thought.
He was the first guy I'd been with since I'd left my home town almost three years ago, even if it had been a drunken mistake the first time. What was it about him that made me give in so bad? I never had before.
He was so confident, I reasoned. He always did what he wanted and damned the consequences. He didn't take shit from anyone and did whatever made him happy. I wished I could be like that. I was scared of everything; I hated ordering a different food from a restaurant.
Safety first, right?
There was nothing safe about Andy. Maybe that was the problem. He was dangerous to me and girls always liked danger, right?
Oh for fucks sake.
I ran a hand through my messy hair. I didn't want to tell him about my scars or my family, and I knew he would want to know. But I'd tried to forget it, all of it, and that would only bring back all those bad memories.
They weren't all bad, I told myself. Nothing had been bad until my dad had died. Then it was like my mother snapped. So at least I had a few happy memories to cling too.
I leaned my head back, feeling anxious. I'd been taking my pills every day, and I wasn't sick anymore. Bless Dr. Roma, I thought, wrapping my arms around my knees. She had been waiting at her office with the right medicine when I'd got there.
I heard Danny step into the room, and frowned. We still hadn't made up, and I'd absolutely banned Vale from telling him anything about Clara and Andy. So he was just miffed that his fling from out of town had disappeared.
He sat down beside me, flailing out on the couch, one leg slung in my lap.
"How much you want to bet he's an asshole?"
I rolled my eyes. Danny was as bad as Vale.
"As much as I want to bet you are."
He frowned at me, and then flicked me on the nose. "Don't get sassy with your brother, I'm older and wiser then you."
"You keep saying that but I've yet to find proof," I teased, smacking at him when he went to flick me again.
I heard Vales phone ring, and from the screams of a guitar I'd come to associate with CCs tone, I knew who it was. She answered, her voice sickly sweet, and stopped midsentence.
"What?" she squawked. "Is he okay?"
I turned to look behind me.
"Oh." she glanced over nervously.
"What?" I demanded. What was wrong? Was Andy hurt? She wouldn't have looked at me like that if it was otherwise.
"Where is he?" she turned her back to me, listening. "Did he ask for her? Well, she doesn't like hosp --- Okay, you don't have to yell." she sounded aggravated, and at this point I'd gotten to my feet, feeling panicked.
Oh God, what had happened? Was he hurt? Where was he? I stared at Vale as she moved around the kitchen.
Finally, she hung up, and turned to look at me.
"What happened?" I demanded, my chest tight. "Is he okay?"
"Um, well," she hesitated. "Andy was in a car accident."

Notes