Escaping Grace

We were almost home. We were almost home and I hadn't gone volcanic eruption yet. Just twenty more minutes. Please let me have peace for twenty more minutes, I prayed, staring blankly at me phone.
I shuffled. I really need to go to the bathroom, but I really didn't want to stand and cause any attention to myself. The tension was literally seeable.
Finally, I stood and shuffled to the back. I locked the door behind me and sighed. Poor Danny looked mopy out there, and I didn't have the heart to tell him. At least he couldn't say I didn't warn him.
Who knew a once simple fan could end up being the daughter of the devil and mess up everything? I closed my eyes. I'd made it almost ten hours and I was almost home.
Well, I couldn't spend the last fifteen minutes in a bathroom.
Or could I?
No, that would be weird.
Glumly, I left the bathroom, and got to the bunks before the curtain separating the living area and the back shifted, and Andy stepped back.
No, no, no, I didn't need this. There wasn't a lot of time left. I was almost out of this.
"Leah, we need to talk."
Fuck.
"About?" I asked warily.
I studied my hands as he stepped towards me. He leaned back against one of the bunks across from me, and he seemed nervous.
"How are you feeling?" he asked suddenly. "Vale told me they got your meds messed up."
"I'm fine."
I hate you right now.
Andy shuffled, then sighed. "Leah, I did something fucked up."
"I already know you slept with Clara, you don't have to tell me," I burst before he could say more. I didn't want to hear him say it.
He stared at me. "What?"
"I saw her leaving your room and your goodbye... What ever that was." I muttered.
"Oh." he paused. "I thought... Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. Point is, I fucked up."
I stared at his chest, refusing to look up. "It doesn't matter."
"What?"
"I said it doesn't matter. We're not dating, I don't have any claim on you." I took a deep breath. "You have full rights to sleep with whoever you want."
I was going to cry if I didn't get away from him. He stared at me, and for a moment I thought he looked hurt.
"You don't care at all?"
Of course I did! I wanted to scream it at him, but I'd already attacked the girl he slept with and if I did one more thing that was going to come back on me I would never leave my apartment again.
So. "No," I said after a moment, "I don't care."
He straightened. "Wow, okay, I guess I really don't mean anything to you," he muttered with a tone of bitterness, and I glared at him.
"Well if I even mattered you wouldn't have slept with Clara, so we're even!"
"I thought you said you didn't care!"
"I don't care! But that's Ilana Kovas daughter, you idiot!" I hissed. "So you and my brother both slept with her!"
He stared at me a minute, then grimaced.
"Why did you even sleep with her?" I demanded, my voice small. "I thought that... That we were okay."
"We were! Are! I just... Last night you basically told me to fuck off, so I took it to heart," he shrugged.
I couldn't even remember what I'd said to him. I felt the bus start to make a turn, and held onto a bunk, my knuckles turning white.
"So because we fought you thought you'd get back at me? Is that what happened with Juliet? You were pissed at her and so you decided ---."
"Yes, that's exactly what happened," he snapped before I could finish. "I'm not a good guy, Leah."
Yes he was, he just punished himself all the time, I realized.
I gazed at him, at the hard set of his jaw. His eyes were glittering with some emotion, but I couldn't tell if it was anger or hurt or what.
"It's probably better this way," I said after a moment, dropping my gaze. "This was getting too complicated."
He stilled. "How complicated?"
I fidgeted. "I told you I couldn't do this. I can't sleep with you and not... Not get attached. I know I agreed to the deal but I can't do it anymore."
The tears I'd been holding back rose to my eyes. "I can't do this."
"Leah, please. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I thought you didn't care two shits about me. I thought---."
"It doesn't matter," I mopped at my eyes hastily. "I'm done. I'm so done. You can go fuck whoever you want too now."
"But I don't want too, I ---."
"I don't give a fuck!" I snapped. I just wanted him to stop talking to me, to stop making me feel bad for him. I needed to be angry, not sad. "You don't seem to care anyway, so go be with whoever you want! You probably have anyway!"
He took an angry step forward. "The only girl I've been fucking since we met is you!" he shouted at me. "And we didn't even agree to that!"
"Don't raise your voice at me, Andy! I've put up with way too much shit for this! We didn't agree to a lot of things --- I never should have in the beginning! I knew this would be bad, I knew it," I clenched my hands. "I can't do this."
I felt like I was going to explode. I wanted to scream and yell and hit him, but I knew I had no right too. He wasn't anything to me.
I was just, just ---.
Fuck, I was falling in love with him.
And that scared me so badly.
he took another step toward me, and I went to take a step back, but I was already against the bunk and I didn't have anywhere to go.
What have I done?
Oh God.

Notes

Tell me what you think! Is Leah handling it well?:)