Happy Little Pill

An intense pounding in my head jolted me from my sleep and made me sit up really fast, only to regret it a second later. Now I remember why I don't drink vodka. My hand went up to my head and I rubbed it while curling forward into a ball. Andy was completely passed out next to me. He was on his stomach, his face was shoved into the pillow, and he was snoring. I climbed off the bed and grabbed my robe before walking downstairs to the living room. Charlie was still asleep and so were the other two. What time is it? I looked over at the clock and saw it was around nine in the morning. Hmph. I sat down on the chair and pulled my laptop over my lap and turned it on. Might as well check on my song, maybe buy it myself. As I went onto iTunes, my eyes got wide. My song was number one. Holy shit.

"Holy shit," I muttered and quickly bought the song. This is actually really exciting. I did a little dance in my seat before I realized that someone was knocking on the door. Damn. I got off the chair and walked over to the door before opening it. Lauren stood there, tear soaked cheeks, and looking like she hadn't slept.

"Hey," I said and let her in. I pushed her towards the kitchen so we could talk without many people hearing us.

"It's bad Sadee," she said.

"What's bad?" I asked.

"He has stage four lung cancer, there are mets all along his lungs and they keep filling with fluid," she cried. Cancer?

"Oh my god Lauren. Come here," I said and held my arms out. She wrapped her own around me tightly and cried into my shoulder. I might be at odds with my sister, but cancer is not something to take lightly.

"He hasn't woken up and he can't breath on his own," she cried into my shoulder and I rubbed her back.

"He's a fighter Lauren, as long as I've known him, he fights, and he will," I said.

"I don't know how to tell Charlie," she said. I totally forgot about him.

"Well, I can wake him up and we can tell him together," I said. She looked into my eyes before another sob came from her.

"Let me go get him up," I said and left her in the kitchen while walking into the living room to wake Charlie up. He was facing the back of the couch and was snoring softly. A smile played over my face and I lightly shook his shoulder.

"Charlie, wake up, come on," I said and he blinked a bunch of times before rolling over and looking at me.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"Like nine thirty, but Lauren and I have to tell you something," I said and he looked at me.

"Does it have to do with my dad?" He asked. I bit my lip while nodding. He quickly got off the couch and walked past me into the kitchen. When I walked back in there, Lauren was bawling and Charlie was giving her this weird but scared look.

"What's wrong with my dad?" He asked us both. I knew Lauren wasn't going to speak, so I took the initiative.

"Charlie, your dad has lung cancer," I said. When the word cancer left my mouth his legs collapsed and he was on the floor.

"Cancer?" He was beginning to cry. I was immediately down at his level with my arms around him. His body was spazzing in my arms and I had to push past the overwhelming need to cry.

"He'll be fine Charlie. Your dad is a fighter, and he will make it through this," I said. He just cried and I felt the tears beginning. As I sat there, I heard footsteps on the stairs and then heard a groan from Andy. I kept on holding Charlie and rubbing his back. This brought me back to when Andy was a wreck.

"What's going on?" I heard Andy's raspy voice.

"Gustav has cancer," Lauren blurted and I kept rubbing Charlie's back. To be honest, Lauren should be holding Charlie, not me. I'm not his mom.

"Wow, um, wow," was all Andy could get out. Charlie had all but broken in half and it was seriously killing me inside, but pissing me off because Lauren was doing nothing to comfort him.


My legs were crossed in front of me as I sat on my bed later that night. Andy was downstairs with the band. I just can't believe it. I know Gustav will be fine, but my sister was only caring about herself at that moment. I got this overwhelming anger inside of me that made me get off the bed and start throwing shit around. I was screaming at the walls, saying how stupid my sister was and how much she pissed me off. Then it turned into me crying while screaming about my mom and how much I hate her and then my dad. I grabbed the pillow off the bed and threw it at the wall and went to grab a small item off the nightstand but the door opened and I instantly had arms around me.

"Sadee, what is going on?" I heard Andy ask.

"I am so pissed off at everything!" I yelled while crying.

"Why?" He asked.

"My life was perfect when I moved here! I got away from my mom, I hadn't talked to my sister since I was eight, I had a great job and I didn't have to worry about my mom. Then she just fucked everything up!" I yelled and collapsed to the floor.

"Sadee, calm down," he said and rubbed my back. As I sat there, crying my eyes out, I felt the tightness in my chest that signaled I was going to have a panic attack. Oh shit, I need to calm down. I started breathing but it wasn't working. Oh shit. Fuck.

"Oh my god," I croaked out and felt my entire body tighten and shake.

"Sadee!" Andy yelled and wrapped his arms around me more. It wasn't going away, oh my god.

"I. I. I can. Can't. br. bre. breath," I breathed out and he looked around the room for my anti anxiety pills.

"They're in the. The bathroom," I stuttered. He left me on the floor and I was blinking weirdly and my body was spazzing. When he returned I had all but blacked out. He handed me the pills and I quickly took them. It takes them a while to work. I gripped onto Andy's shirt and he carefully picked me up, like I weighed nothing, and put me on the bed.

"I am going to sit here until you calm down," he said and kissed my forehead. I nodded and kept gripping his shirt. I haven't had a panic attack in over a month. I don't know what is going on.

Notes

Well, sadness and drama. I told you it was coming! But, Sadee had a panic attack at the end and was freaking out. Next chapter we will find out why that fan is so important, and we might meet Tyler. Hope you liked it!!!!!!