I run home and walk in as fast as I can. Tears all over my face. I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!!
Arrived Alex is there. She’s pretty present. With Sean. My boss. On the couch. Doing things. But I don’t even care. I silently walk to my room and curl up on my bed. I am a monster.
I fall asleep feeling empty. As usual. I’m getting used to this constant sadness. Constant emptiness.

I wake up in the morning, today I’m going to the hospital.

Get rid of it.

How can he be so cold-hearted? But after all, he never ever cared about me.. So my baby isn’t that better. A pet and a useless thing. That’s all. I walk out seeing Alex and my boss fast asleep. They’re kind of cute together.

Together. Will this word ever apply to me? I doubt it. I’m a stupid bitch. I put on my shoes and walk out. Time to get this over with.. Time to die a bit more.
But after all.. A bit more a bit less.. What’s the matter?

---

Arrived I ask for the gynecologist. I have to do that as fast as I can. Because if I think about it too much I won’t do it. The nurse leads me to a big white room and tell me Dr. Allen will be there soon. I’m feeling numb. Like my heart left. I’m dying inside since a few months. But now I’m decaying. I can feel it. The worms are eating me inside out. I’m an empty shell. They ate it all. Their name is Andrew Dennis Biersack.

“Hello Miss! how are you today?” I nod, unable to talk just yet. Dr Allen is a lovely lady, in the fifties.
“Do you have a special problem or..
-Abortion.” I breath out. I feel like I’m on shock. I can barely talk. I don’t want to talk. She looks at me a bit surprised. Then give me a professional comforting smile.
“Have you been.. Raped?” I shake my head. No. I was the bitch who had sex with a taken man. And without condom! Stupid bitch!

Maybe it would have been easier if it was a rape. If this poor baby hasn’t been made during my love for an asshole..

“Okay. If you’ve been forced you should report it you know that?” I nod. I’m traumatized. But not in that way..
“Are you sure you want to abort?” Want? Hell no! But do I really have the choice?
“I.. I..” I take a deep breath.
“Yes. I will ab.. I have to abort.” I say. I have to. But I don’t want to.

“Okay. How long?
-Five or six weeks I guess.” she nods and hand me a document.
“Are you 18 yet?
-21.” her eyes grow a bit wider, but she stay as calm and professional as before.
“You look younger.” I smile a bit and take the papers to fill.

---

After an hour of test -to be sure I’m ‘really’ pregnant (and how long) the doctor come back to me.
“As you’re not 9 week pregnant yet, we can do a medical abortion, you can do it now or in the next week if you want to think about it first..
-Now. How much?” she nods
“470$.” I swallow hard. I have to pay to kill my child. Fuck you Andy! Fuck you with all my love!

I pay.

I hate myself.

The lady silently leads me to another room and give me a bunch of medicines. She explains me how it will be for the next week. But I don’t care. I killed him. Or maybe her. I’m a murderer. I’m horrible.

Really, really horrible.

Notes

Hey guys! How are you?
Sorry if there are mistakes, I made some research but I don't know how abortion work >.<'
Hope it wasn't too bad :)
Love you guys <3