It only takes the time for Andy to drive me back to my car for me to break down again. I'm there. In my tiny car. Crying like a lost baby. What is happening to me? It has been what..? Two weeks since I met him?
I can’t take it anymore.. His girlfriend. My constant need to see him, touch him.. My demon and my angel. I can’t take it anymore. I just wish I could control all this shit. Control our “relationship”, control myself, my feelings..

But I can’t. He is controlling me. Totally.

About my feelings.. I’ve never been more confused. I don’t know what’s happening exactly. I only know I’m addicted to him. Not just addicted to having sex with him. I want Andy. I.. No, I don’t love him. It’s impossible. Two weeks is way too small to be ‘in love’.. I can’t be in love with a cheater.. But..
Well. I’m confused!

I drive home and stay in my tiny car. I don’t want to go now, I don’t want to face Alex. I lied to her. I’m horrible. It’s all my fault. I lay my head on the hot wheel then tighten my hands around it as hard as I can, until my knuckles get white. I need to think about something else. I have to go to work tonight. I need to take a shower!

So I climb out and take my bag, decided to go home.

---

Arrived, my heart is beating faster.. I unlock the door and get in. Alex is not going to eat me.. Breath.. One, two..
“Angie! How was your night?” I jump
“Uh.. Hey Alex!” Shit! I’m not natural AT ALL!

Alex quickly walks to me with a worried look, frowning.
“Angie? Are you okay? You seem.. Really pale” she lifts her hand to my face trying to check my temperature. I’m not sick.

I’m in love. It’s way worse.

The realization hit me in the face hard as a rock. Yes. I love Andy the cheater-angel-faced-cute-sexy-dark alien. I don’t know what the fuck happened to my heart. But I love him. Even if I can’t -and will never- have him for me only. Even if he only uses me for sex. Even if he doesn’t want me for feelings..

I love him.
I love when he smiles, when he pouts, when looks at me, when we bake together, when he burns my hand with his, when he wraps his arm around me, when he fucks me, when he kiss me passionately -or shyly, I love both-, when he gets worried about me.. When he makes me feel special.

But it’s all a beautiful lie.

Because I’m not special for him. Not the smallest. I’m just his pet. I constantly want -need- him. So when he gives me some time, I take whatever leftover he gives me. He’s just using me.

I look up at Alex and feel a tear falling down.
It’s too late.

Notes

How are you guys?
Love is finally there.. Chapter 36 x) school starting soon, but I prefer writing dumb fanfictions <3
Love you guys :*