One Last Kiss

Four weeks or so later, Ash was on the verge of having to confess the secret he’d been hiding from his lover ever since they met. Unbeknownst to just about everyone around him, since he had the reproductive tract of a woman, he literally had man-periods and the one he should’ve had about two weeks after that night was now two weeks late. The only reason he could think of since they hadn’t used any form of protection was because he was carrying the younger man’s child.

The morning that he woke up with enough nerve to tell him that they were going to be making more than wedding plans, he got a pretty decent shock. Not only was his back hurting so bad that he felt like he’d been kidney-punched and kicked in the spine a few times, but he was bleeding. Thankfully, Andy was a fairly early riser and since he hadn’t been sleeping well, he’d left him abed when he rose this morning.

As soon as he realized what was happening, tears welled up in his chocolate-brown eyes and he couldn’t stop them from cascading down his cheeks. Before the blood had a chance to get on the sheets too badly and stain the mattress beneath, Ash grabbed a box from his nightstand that his fiancé didn’t know about and made his way to the bathroom. Before locking himself in there, he locked the bedroom door so he couldn’t come in to wake him and see anything he shouldn’t, which could possibly cause him to pass out. The tears flowed harder and faster, soon congesting his sinuses, as he cleaned himself up and inserted his tampon.

“Ashes!” He heard his fiancé’s worried cries and fists beating on the bedroom door when he finally came out of the bathroom. “Are you all right in there?”

After checking the bed to make sure it wasn’t covered in blood, he unlocked and opened the bedroom door, collapsing into the younger man’s arms almost immediately. Taken aback by his sweetheart’s hysterical tears, Andy wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. His head rested on his chest as he sobbed, something he wasn’t used to the older man doing, and he rested his own atop it as he squeezed him tight and gently rubbed soothing circles into his back.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh. It’s okay, Ashes,” he murmured, using the nickname he always used when he was upset.

“No, it’s not,” Ash sobbed, his words almost unintelligible.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? You never cry like this,” the frontman said, pulling back enough to look down at him. “Hell, you’re even moodier than you normally are.”

That earned him a glare from the older man, causing him to wince.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the living room,” he suggested, trying to avoid pissing him off.

Sniffling as he tried to stop his nose from running quite as much, the bassist nodded and allowed himself to be led to the living room, where he was settled on the couch. He winced with the slightest movements because his back hurt so bad, and the moment he was seated, he grabbed a throw pillow. With little ceremony, he got it adjusted behind his spine so it would help support him and hopefully ease his pain.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You’re starting to scare me,” Andy said, now sitting beside him.

“Th-there’s a b-bit of a b-back-story th-that goes w-with this,” he stuttered, still crying.

“Okay, I’m listening,” the younger man told him, gently rubbing his thumb across the back of his hand.

“When I was about eight, I found out something most wouldn’t expect to. After a yearly physical everyone expected to go normally, my mom was told that I have the reproductive systems of both genders,” Ash began, trying to make his admission as quick as possible.

“Wait a minute, what? You’re saying you have a woman’s reproductive system, as well as a normal man’s?” he asked, shocked.

“Mmm hmm. When I hit puberty at twelve, not only did I go through what boys normally go through, but what girls do, too,” the bassist answered, nodding.

“Hmm…that explains your submissiveness sometimes, as well as your mood-swings,” his lover said.

“Exactly. The submissiveness only happens when I’m fertile, the mood-swings about a week later as my period gets closer,” he told him.

“So what’s the cause of these tears? Another PMS-induced mood-swing?” Andy asked, using his thumb to gently wipe away the tears in question.

“N-no.” Between the mood-swings and the realization he’d had when he first woke up, he couldn’t stop a fresh round of tears from coursing down his cheeks. “Th-think back to the n-night y-you proposed.”

“You were submissive as Hell that night, more so than I’ve ever seen from you before.” He paused and studied him for a few moments, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Wait a minute…you were fertile that night, weren’t you?”

Unable to stop crying enough to answer verbally, Ash nodded his head, squeezing his eyes shut as yet more tears welled up.

“And since we didn’t use protection and you bottomed… Oh, my Godsmack,” his lover breathed, his eyes widening in shock as he figured out what’d happened. “But if you’re…pregnant, why are you crying like the love of your life just shattered your heart beyond repair?”

“I-I’m h-having a m-miscarriage.”

Unable to speak as tears of his own welled up from their loss, Andy wrapped his arms tightly around his fiancé and began to rock him back and forth as he rubbed his back again. Even though he hadn’t known about their baby before the miscarriage began, he was just as upset by it. Considering that he was gay and had figured it out before he even got out of high school, he’d never thought to be able to have a child of his own. To find a man that he loved with all his heart and loved him just as much in return, he considered himself lucky. But to find out that said man had the ability to carry children, was carrying his child, but had subsequently lost it…it broke his heart in a way that he’d never experienced before.

Ash felt like his heart was breaking just as much, maybe more since it was his body that their child was growing in, his body that had ultimately rejected said child. His lover soon calmed himself enough to assure him that they’d get through this, that they could try for a baby later on when their lives were a little more settled than they currently were.

Sure, he was upset that they were losing their baby; what parent wouldn’t be? But he also realized that, since they were lucky enough to be able to have kids together without a surrogate and egg donor, this didn’t have to be the only time they tried. Even though they hadn’t actually been trying for a baby this time, it didn’t have to be the only time that the bassist found himself carrying his fiancé’s baby. It took a little while for those words to sink in, but he soon realized that he was right, that they could wait a few months, closer to the date of their wedding, and try again since it was likely the stress of a hectic life that’d caused this.

Just a few minutes later, as he was finally calming the bassist down, they heard a knock at their front door. Since they weren’t going to the studio today, they’d invited the guys over to just chill out and relax, something they didn’t get to do very often anymore. Andy made sure he was as comfortable as possible, then went to answer the door and, sure enough, Jake, Jinxx, and CC stood on the other side of the portal. The moment they stepped inside and Jinxx got a good look at his friend, he rushed over and took him into his arms.

“Oh, Ash. What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, gently brushing his hair out of his face.

Tears welled up once again and he broke down, clinging to his friend for dear life.

“What’s gotten into Ashley?” Jake asked curiously, but concern could be heard in his voice.

“You want me to tell them, sweetheart?” Andy asked, now sitting beside his fiancé again.

Unable to speak because of his sobbing, Ash nodded his head where it rested against Jinxx’s chest.

“Bear with me because there’s a bit of a back-story that goes with this, and needless to say, you’re gonna be as shocked as I am,” the frontman said.

Jake and CC nodded, but Jinxx, having already figured it out, focused on comforting his friend.

“Before he even hit double digits, Ash found out that he’s a bit of a medical miracle. He’s got the reproductive systems of both genders, not just a male’s,” the baby of the group began.

“So he’s a hermaphrodite?” Jake asked.

“If that’s what it’s called when someone has the reproductive systems of both genders, not just the one they should, then yes,” he answered, nodding. “Basically, because of this, it can seem like he’s got two personalities sometimes.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed how sometimes he’s pretty dominant, and others he seems shy and submissive,” CC agreed, nodding as he glanced at the crying man.

“I’m not gonna go into detail, but when he’s submissive, he enjoys me dominating him in just about every way imaginable,” the frontman continued, giving them a look that said not to ask.

“Ohhhh,” the others chorused, nodding as they figured out what he meant.

“So what’s the gotta do with him crying his eyes out like a baby?” the drummer asked, shrinking back as he earned himself a glare from the older man.

“Because, if it weren’t for the miscarriage he’s having, we’d be having a little one in a few months,” Andy answered, suddenly fighting back tears of his own.

Jake and CC gasped in shock, their hands flying up to cover their open mouths, while Jinxx merely tightened his grip on his still-sobbing friend. The baby of the group soon wrapped his arms around the both of them, making sure that his fiancé knew he was there and loved him with every fiber of his being. Soon enough, the others recovered from their shock enough to come over and wrap their arms around the trio, as well, turning it into a group-hug.

All but Jinxx were shocked by the bassist’s revelation because the multi-instrumentalist was the only one who’d already known, but they all did their best to be supportive and comfort him. He was glad to know that he had such caring friends, even though he would’ve preferred not to lose his baby. By the time the sun set, they’d managed to calm him down enough to fall asleep in his lover’s lap.

The younger man soon picked him up bridal-style and carried him to their room, where he gently laid him on their bed. Ash snuggled up to his pillow and grabbed the frontman’s, hugging it tightly to his chest as if he didn’t want him too far away for even a moment. With a smile on his face, Andy went back out to the living room to see their friends out and lock up, then headed back to their room. Although he was depressed over the miscarriage, he realized that with their upcoming wedding and the possibility that they could have children after all, they needed something far bigger than their little apartment. He was too tired to put much thought into it at the moment and decided he’d do it at dawn’s first light.

Moments after he’d gotten settled in bed, after having to wrestle his pillow away from his sweetheart, the older man snuggled up to him and rested his head on his chest. Chuckling softly as he smiled into the kiss he pressed to the top of his head, Andy wrapped his arms tightly around him to let him know he wasn’t alone. Unless death parted them, be it before or after the wedding, he’d never be alone again, and he wanted him to be sure of it, even in his sleep. Despite the depression and stress, it wasn’t long afterward that he fell into a deep, restful sleep with Ash in his arms.

Notes