One Last Kiss

Andy was beyond anxious as his flight came in for its landing at LAX. Jake, Jinxx, and CC had all insisted on coming home with him, saying there was no way they were letting their brothers go unsupported, which he was grateful for. The hyperactive drummer was able to make him laugh on the flight home from Germany, despite the man he loved being in the hospital as he labored with their daughter.

The second he was able to disembark, he rose from his seat and made sure he was one of the first few off the plane. The others had told him not to worry about anything but his carry-on, that they’d get it after they disembarked, and sent him off to go see his poor husband. Sammi’d done her best to keep them updated, even making sure to call again once Ash was settled in the labor and delivery room at UCLA Medical Center, but it wasn’t enough. Only seeing his sweetheart and knowing that both he and their unborn daughter, Legacy, were safe and perfectly healthy could reassure him right now.

Once he’d arrived at the hospital a short time later, he took the elevator up to the maternity ward, thanking his lucky stars that his love had a woman’s name. He all but ran down the hall to the nurses’ station once the elevator came to a stop and its doors opened. Even getting married hadn’t made him this anxious, although that’d been one of the most stressful moments of his life. Then again, nothing was the same or as special as welcoming one’s child, especially their first-born, into the world.

“Who are you here to see?” the nurse manning the station asked him.

“Ashley Biersack,” he answered. It warmed his heart to be able to call him that.

“Room six-eighteen,” she told him.

“Thanks,” Andy said, turning to head down the hall she pointed down.

It took him a couple minutes to find the right room, but he knew which one it was for sure once he saw a label on the door that said “A. Biersack, Dr. A. Hill”. He knocked as gently as he could to avoid startling his sweetheart, relieved to hear Sammi call out to him from the other side. The moment he opened the door and stepped into the room, he heard a cry of sheer agony from his husband, whom he couldn’t see just yet because of the room’s layout, but that was okay. Even if he was in pain, at least his crying out to prove it meant that he—and likely their daughter—was okay. Smiling as much as he could, he waited for the contraction gripping him—and his agonized cry—to end, before starting to sing The Mortician’s Daughter as he approached.

“We booked our flight those years ago; I said I loved you as I left you. Regrets still haunt my hollow head, but I promised you that I will see you again…again,” he sang softly, having chosen the first chorus to sing to him.

“A-Andy?” he asked softly, opening those chocolate-brown eyes he loved.

“But I promised you, and now I’m home again…again…again,” Andy continued, a small smile curving his lips as he sang.

“Oh, my Godsmack,” his sweetheart moaned, reaching out to him. He was curled up as best his big belly would allow in their favorite Batman and Hello Kitty blankets, their favorite matching plushies wrapped tightly in his arms until he reached out for him.

“I told you I’d be here as soon as I could,” the young frontman said softly, grabbing his hand as he gently kissed his forehead.

“I-It h-hurts,” Ash cried, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“How long has he been in labor?” he asked, turning to Sammi.

“Twelve hours,” she answered, shaking her head. “He just reached five centimeters right before you walked in.”

“And they still haven’t given him anything for the pain?” he asked, borederline outraged.

“They couldn’t give him an epidural until he reached five centimeters,” their friend answered. “Dr. Hill’s gone to track down the anesthesiologist now.”

“She better hope she finds him or her soon,” Andy growled. “How’re ya holding up, sweetheart?”

“P-Please…j-just rub m-my back,” the laboring bassist stuttered, grinding his teeth as another contraction started.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh, Outlaw,” he whispered, moving to the other side of the bed. “It’ll be okay. It’ll be over soon, and we can finally meet Legacy.”

Ash whimpered and cried out again, albeit softer this time, as he dug his thumbs into his spine right above his tailbone. It was almost as if he lover knew exactly where it hurt the worst, and considering that it was more or less the same place his back had been hurting for the past couple months, although worse than before, he likely did. He still bit the pillow under his head to muffle his cry as the contraction reached its peak, causing his entire body to stiffen as his belly became rock-hard.

When the contraction finally began to ebb, a knock was heard at the door to his room, and Andy called out for the person to enter. His hands never stopped their motion, for which his sweetheart was thankful, and he put all his attention on making him feel better. After all, it was his fault he’d gotten pregnant in the first place, so he was determined to do whatever he could to help him through this.

“Ah, I see you’ve finally gotten here, Andy.”

Looking up, he saw his sweetheart’s OB/GYN, Dr. Allison Hill. “Yeah. It took a while since the rest of the band and I were in Germany, but I made him a promise, and I kept it.”

“Ashley, I’m gonna need to check you again real quick,” she told the laboring man.

Groaning, he rolled onto his back with his lover’s help, putting his feet together and drawing them as close to his pelvis as he could once he was settled. Dr. Hill pulled on a latex glove, which she used a bit of ultrasound gel to lube up, before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Andy had seen her check him during his last few appointments before they had to fly overseas, but didn’t like seeing another person touching him in such a way. Instead of focusing on the doctor and what she was doing or turning away, he focused on his sweetheart’s face, gently brushing his sweaty hair back as he murmured soothing words to him.

“All right, Ashley. Five and a-half centimeters,” she announced. “Lucky for you, you’re dilated enough to get an epidural now, if you still want one.”

“Anything to end this Godsmack-forsaken torture!” Ash cried, another contraction beginning.

“Well, in that case… This is Dr. Sydney Morgan. She’s our on-call anesthesiologist this afternoon,” Dr. Hill told him.

“Hi, Ashley,” the anesthesiologist said, gently rubbing his arm.

He barely cracked his eyes open and looked at her, trying to breathe his way through the contraction.

“As Dr. Hill said, I’m Dr. Morgan. I’ll be the one administering your epidural,” she told him. “Do you know what that is, and how it’s done?”

He shook his head weakly, having never heard how it was supposed to be done, although he knew it was a form of pain relief.

Dr. Morgan quickly explained that it was a regional anesthetic, used to block the nerve impulses in the lower region of the spine. It was going to be combined with a bit of Morphine to help dull the pain, which would also make it last longer. If done properly, and it would be since she’d been doing this for years, he’d still be able to feel everything below his waist with the exception of his pain, as well as be able to move.

Ash nodded his head, even at the thought of having a hollow needle placed into what she called the “epidural space” of his spine. As far as he was concerned, not even the burning of a local anesthetic to numb his skin, nor the pressure of such a needle, could be any worse than the agony he was currently in from his contractions, combined with having Legacy’s head locked in his pelvis. Not even being entered for the first time as a bottom had hurt nearly as bad as this, and he had to admit that the first guy he bottomed for was nearly as big as his husband, if one caught his drift.

While Dr. Morgan washed up, Andy and Sammi both were asked how squeamish they were. Neither of them were very squeamish, having seen and dealt with a lot of things, particularly on tour, that left them with stomachs of steel. His lover said that he was more than willing to hold him up and still while she was administering the epidural, their friend and his OB/GYN standing by to trade places if he felt he couldn’t do it. The younger man was determined to do it, even if he had to vomit afterward, because it was his husband and child, not theirs.

“All right, Ashley,” the anesthesiologist said after he was sitting up, curled almost into the fetal position as his lover held him still. “It’s going to sting a little.”

“Ssss,” Ash hissed, grimacing at the stinging sensation of the local anesthetic.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Outlaw,” his lover soothed, gently rubbing his arms. “You won’t feel a thing in a few minutes.”

“It fucking hurts,” he whimpered, trying not to stiffen as another contraction started.

“I can let you sit up till this contraction passes since I haven’t got the needle in your back yet,” Dr. Morgan told him.

“Please,” he begged miserably.

“Hang on to me, sweetheart,” Andy said softly, letting him rest his head on his chest. “I know it hurts, and you’ll never have to go through this again, if you don’t want to.”

“You’d better hope I don’t,” the bassist growled. “If you only knew the pain I’m in right now because of you, Andrew Dennis Biersack!”

The younger man managed to calm him down, thus avoiding a tongue-lashing for the moment, as the contraction ebbed. Once it was over, Ash was asked to curl up around their daughter again, and he held onto his lover’s hips for the rest of the procedure. His lover continued gently rubbing his arms and giving him soft words of love and encouragement, and before he knew it, the needle was in his spine.

Dr. Morgan quickly threaded the catheter through and removed it, the little plastic tube left in place like it was supposed to be. She quickly taped the catheter down to his spine, making sure that it wouldn’t slip out if he moved, and allowed him to sit up again. Andy held him upright, his ear once again pressed to his chest, as she hooked the catheter up to a pump so she could start the epidural. With the medication being pumped into his system now, he visibly relaxed within a couple minutes, even though he was reaching the peak of another contraction, as it took effect.

Now that he wasn’t in pain anymore, the anesthesiologist bid her farewells and left as Dr. Hill pulled on and lubed up another glove. Knowing she was going to check him again, Ash got into the proper position, barely grimacing at the sensation of someone else’s finger being shoved up his rear. When she pulled her hand away and stripped the glove off, she announced that he’d moved up to six centimeters, which was a good thing, considering that he’d stalled out at four right before his lover’s arrival.

The OB/GYN double checked that the monitors were in the proper places, readjusting the one keeping an eye on Legacy’s racing little heart, before leaving as well. The bassist had gotten her to let him lay on his left side this time, having been on his right for a couple hours before this, and was relatively comfortable now. He could still feel the pressure of their daughter being locked in his pelvis and continuing to drop lower, but the epidural had kicked in fully and he didn’t feel a thing, as far as pain was concerned. The muscles of his back were still knotted, which Andy was able to help soothe by continuing his previous back rub, and Sammi held his hand as more of a comforting gesture than not as he was finally able to drift off to sleep again.

* * *

About six hours after getting his epidural, Ash was finally told that he was nine centimeters by the nurse who came to check on him. He heaved a sigh of relief, grimacing as their unborn daughter decided to attempt stretching in her cramped quarters in the midst of a contraction. The pressure of her head being so low in his pelvis was starting to get to him, and he was sick of feeling like he had to take a massive shit.

Dr. Hill chuckled as she suited up and got everything she needed ready, asking if he had a particular position in mind for the delivery. He said that he’d prefer to be on his hands and knees, saying that he often felt like he was, for lack of a better way to put it, more open when he was like that. She nodded and agreed, saying that she’d had to use that position with her own first delivery after lying on her back while pushing for an hour reaped little to no results. Thankfully, it’d worked and her baby was born relatively quickly once she changed positions, and was healthy as a horse.

“All right, Ashley,” she said, having checked him again. “You’re fully dilated. Go ahead and push if you feel the urge to.”

Taking a deep breath, the bassist grappled for his husband’s hand as he curled up.

Andy quietly counted to ten for him as he rubbed his back, watching as he stopped pushing and let out the breath he’d held once he reached ten.

“And again, Ashley. Just a little bit harder this time,” Dr. Hill encouraged.

He took another deep breath and curled up again, bearing down as hard as he could.

“Whoa there, tiger. Not quite that hard,” the OB/GYN chuckled. “Somewhere between that and your first push is best.”

“All right…Dr. Hill,” Ash gasped, nodding. He took another deep breath to hold and bore down again, not quite as weak as his first attempt, nor as strong as his second, just as another contraction started.

“That’s better,” she told him, watching for signs of their daughter’s head.

The birthing process was definitely slower than either he or Andy’d thought it would be, but it didn’t take as long as it seemed like it was, either. Within half an hour, he finally had little Legacy crowning, his OB/GYN having to pull his ass cheeks apart slightly and use her gloved fingers to help him stretch around her little head. She also told him not to push as hard so he could minimize the risk of tearing as he delivered, but he just wasn’t able to stretch enough for that.

Sighing softly at the thought of what she had to do, Dr. Hill took a small scalpel and made sure he still couldn’t feel any pain, then made a small incision on either side of his asshole. Andy grimaced as he watched what she did, wondering how it was going to feel later when he had stitches there. She told him that she’d performed as close to an episiotomy as she could on him, and that it was common in typical births to keep a woman from tearing, as well. The OB/GYN even admitted to requiring one for her first birth, as her baby’s head had been that big, and that dealing with the stitches probably wouldn’t be fun. Ash actually chuckled at that, his laughter causing their daughter to emerge a little more than she had been before.

“Gentle push, Ashley,” she said, still trying to help him stretch around her head.

“Owww. Shit,” the bassist groaned, scrunching his eyes closed.

“Your epidural wearing off?” Dr. Hill asked, making sure Legacy’s head didn’t emerge too fast.

“I think so,” he answered after he stopped pushing again. “It fucking burns.”

“Could just be from you having to stretch so much,” she said thoughtfully. “All right, her head’s out. Lemme check for a cord real quick.”

The quartet in the delivery room waited in silence as she did so.

“No cord. Gimme another gentle push,” she instructed. “Don’t push too hard. Her shoulders are going to be the hardest part to get out.”

Nodding, Ash took another deep breath and bore down as gently as he could, feeling her shift slightly as one shoulder emerged.

“You’re doing so good, Outlaw,” Andy murmured in his ear, kissing his temple.

“It looks easier than it really is,” he told him, bearing down gently again. He gasped as he really felt the baby rotate for her other shoulder to emerge.

The sound of her heart started to get softer on the monitor the more of her he managed to deliver, soon disappearing altogether once she was out up to her waist. Dr. Hill assured him that she was doing just fine, actually trying to move her little arms slightly, as if fighting to claw her way out of her mama. This brought a smile to the bassist’s face as he pushed again, glad when she slipped out to her waist. He was told that it should take only one more push, maybe two, for her to be fully delivered, which really made him smile. Not only was he almost done with this ordeal, but he was that much closer to meeting his daughter.

Moments later, Ash gave a soft gasp as Legacy slipped from his opening and into the OB/GYN’s hands. She quickly started clearing her nose and mouth with an aspirator, Andy giving him another gentle kiss on the temple. He waited with baited breath to hear her first ear-piercing scream, which would mean she’d taken her first breath, the sound every new mother wanted to hear.

“Wanna cut the cord, Daddy?” Dr. Hill asked right after she’d let out that first wail.

Grinning like a fool, Andy nodded and walked to the end of the bed, where he took the scissors she handed to him.

“Right there between the clamps,” she told him. “Be careful—it’s a little slippery.”

“A little is an understatement,” the young frontman chuckled, the cord still attaching his daughter and husband to one another falling victim to the scissors’ sharp blades.

“And off to the warming table with you, little one,” the OB/GYN crooned, handing her off to a waiting nurse.

The next few minutes were a blur, particularly for Ash, as the placenta was delivered and disposed of before he was settled more comfortably in the bed. His lover stayed near his side, only leaving to go stand by the warming table as their screaming daughter was assessed once he was settled. He was exhausted beyond belief, which was only to be expected after eighteen hours of hard labor and finally pushing his beautiful baby girl out of his ass.

Once she’d been assessed, being given perfect tens on her APGAR scores, the nurse took her footprints for her birth certificate. She’d already had the two of them fill it out, as well as sign it, while they were waiting for her assessment to be finished, so she only had to write the baby’s name down on it. They’d decided around his sixth month of pregnancy that they wanted to name her Legacy Aurora Biersack, as she was a dawn of a new chapter in their lives born into a rock ‘n’ roll legacy she didn’t even know about, as of yet. It was a beautiful name for an equally beautiful baby girl, which was why it hadn’t been hard for them to agree what to name her. They just hoped she’d understand their reasoning when she was older.

“Oh, she’s so beautiful,” Ash crooned, his baby finally in his arms. He stared down at her tiny face, still amazed that he’d carried her beneath his heart for the last thirty-eight weeks.

“That she is, Outlaw,” his lover agreed softly, gently touching her little head. “She looks just like you.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” he asked, studying her features. “She has your skin tone, though.”

“I wonder whose eyes she has?” Andy said thoughtfully.

As if on cue, Legacy opened her little eyes and looked up at them, making them gasp.

“She has your eyes, Batman,” the bassist breathed in awe, his own widening.

“They could still change as she gets older, though,” he told him.

“As crystal clear a blue they are, I doubt it,” he argued.

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” the young frontman said, gently caressing her downy raven hair still.

Ash gently rocked her back and forth where she lay cradled in his arms, gently swaddled in a little pink receiving blanket. His lover got a couple pictures of them together before he let her latch on to his swollen, tender nipple to feed for the first time. It would be a while before the rest of their bandmates, who were in the waiting room, got to meet her, but the pictures would do for now.

Once she’d been fed, the nurse laid her in a little isolette so they could be transferred to a recovery room, saying that she’d eventually be taken down to the newborn nursery for observation and so that he could get some rest. The exhausted bassist nodded his agreement, keeping a sharp eye on her as they were moved, just as any new mother would with their baby. His pregnancy had been long and grueling, the labor and delivery long, hard, and exhausting, but their baby was finally here and healthy as a horse. Little Legacy Aurora Biersack would be loved with all their hearts and spoiled rotten while being raised into a beautiful young woman during the years ahead of them to come.

Notes