Twisted Reality

As the Black Veil Brides’ tour bus continued its journey the parking lot they’d all left their cars in the morning after finishing out their Pins and Needles Tour, various moans and groans could be heard throughout it. Jake and Jinxx managed to roll out of the guitarist’s bunk relatively unscathed, although one had a bit of a pain in his ass from their drunken escapade the night before.

CC sat up from where he’d passed out on the couch after they returned from their post-show celebration at a bar near the venue they’d played at. He held his head gingerly in his hands, groaning from the pain as it throbbed with one of the worst hangovers he’d ever experienced in his twenty-five years. Thankfully, since the others who were up also had hangovers from Hell, Jinxx handed him a couple Advil that he downed with the glass of water he was also handed like his life depended on it. Now that they were all up, the only ones that had yet to rise and shine were Andy and Ash, who undoubtedly wouldn’t for a while.

While Jinxx stood in front of the stove working on breakfast for all of them, the others sat at the table, now nursing mugs of coffee to help with their hangovers. Jake and CC held a conversation between themselves, leaving the multi-instrumentalist in peace as he cooked. It was only just as he was putting the food on plates that an ear-piercing wail sounded from the back of the bus, startling the trio so bad that Jinxx dropped one of the plates he held, which shattered on the floor, as Jake and CC literally fell out of their chairs.

“What the fuck was that?” the drummer groaned, rubbing the back of his still sore head.

“I dunno,” the multi-instrumentalist answered, glancing back toward the bunk room. “You guys stay up here, and I’ll go check it out.”

Nodding their agreement, the pair hefted themselves back up off the floor, CC finishing what their friend had started while the guitarist swept up the broken plate before any of them cut their feet on the shards. It wasn’t long afterward, as they sat at the table stuffing their faces and conversing quietly, that Jinxx returned. He was so pale, much more so than normal, that he looked like he’d seen a ghost, and his grayish-blue eyes were as wide as the plates they ate from. Concerned about his boyfriend, Jake jumped up and guided him to the table, where he got him seated in a chair before asking what was wrong. He had to take a moment to compose himself before he could even begin to tell them.

“You guys aren’t going to believe this,” he finally said, still gasping for air.

“What’s wrong, Jinxxy?” the guitarist asked.

“The cry we heard a little while ago…it was from a baby…” Jinxx answered, looking him right in the eye.

“What the fuck? We don’t have any babies on this bus!” CC cried.

“Apparently we do,” the multi-instrumentalist said, dragging his hand down his face. “Andy and Ash…they’re not themselves. In fact, we’re gonna have to put anything to do with the band on hold for a while.”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” Jake asked.

“Ash! C’mon out here!” he called, turning to face the bunk room door.

Moments later, a little boy that couldn’t have been more than seven, maybe eight years old walked out of the bunk room. He wore a shirt, which obviously belonged to Jinxx, that was so many sizes too big that it reached his knees, but no pants. One could only assume that he also wore no underwear, but because of the shirt’s length, one wouldn’t know if he did or not without pulling the shirt up.

But the thing that caught their attention the most wasn’t that there was a little boy walking out of their bunk room in one of the multi-instrumentalist’s too-big shirts. No, the thing that caught their attention most was that, cradled gently in his arms, was another child that was wrapped in a pillow case. The child in his arms couldn’t have been more than a year old, if they were even that old, but because they didn’t have a clear view of them, Jake and CC didn’t know if the child the little boy held was male or female. Obviously due to their age, or lack thereof, they couldn’t speak, so crying was their only way of communicating with others.

“Wha—” CC started, then cut himself off since he knew he wouldn’t be able to watch his mouth in front of the children.

“Guys, the crying we heard…it was Andy,” Jinxx said. He gently took the baby and cradled them to his chest, then allowed the little boy, whom they could only assume was their bassist, crawl into his lap.

“What? Andy’s a baby?” the guitarist gasped, covering his mouth with both hands as his eyes widened in shock.

“So it appears,” the multi-instrumentalist answered, nodded. “Not only that, but Ash appears to be seven or eight. Don’t ask me how that came to be, but it did.”

“Ash, do you remember any of us?” Jake asked, kneeling down in front of them.

“You’re Jake, and you’re a killer guitarist,” the little boy answered, looking at him. “And he’s CC, a killer drummer.”

“What about the man that took the baby from you?” he asked.

“He’s Jinxx. He can play guitar, as well as piano and violin,” Ash answered, grinning proudly.

“Okay. Can you remember anything else?”

“We’re all in a band together called Black Veil Brides.” He looked at the baby. “That’s Andy, and he’s our lead singer. Well, he was before this happened.”

“Do you know what happened to you guys, Ash?” CC asked, kneeling down as well.

“No. I fell asleep last night with him in my arms, and we were the ages we were supposed to be: nineteen and twenty-six.”

“And you just woke up like this?” he asked, sounding both confused and curious.

“Mmm hmm. Well, that and naked with no clothes to fit either of us.” The little boy blushed furiously at having to tell them such intimate details.

“So…what are we gonna do about this?” Jake asked.

“I’m thinking that until we figure out what happened, and how to reverse it,” Jinxx began, looking up at his lover, “that you and I ‘adopt’ Andy and let CC ‘adopt’ Ash.”

“What if I wanna stay with you guys, too?” Ash asked.

“Well, the fans all know that you and Andy are together. When this is all reversed and you guys are back to normal, that’s gonna be hard enough to explain, as is.” The multi-instrumentalist paused and took a breath. “What if people find out that we adopted a pair of kids who happen to have the same names and age difference as our ‘missing’ friends and bandmates? Don’t you think it would be a little weird if people thought you were literally dating your brother?”

“I guess,” he said a bit uncertainly.

“Besides, CC’s just a big kid himself. We already know that, even if you’re still an adult mentally, your body is that of a child: you’re gonna wanna run around and play, and who better to fill that role than our hyperactive drummer?”

“You’ve definitely got a point there, Jinxx,” CC agreed. “I may not be able to cook much, but at least I can cook a few of the things we know he likes so he won’t starve. Besides, I think you and Jake would have more patience with baby Andy than you would Ash, anyway.”

“Hey!” the pint-size bassist cried, sounding a bit offended.

“He didn’t mean it in a bad way, Ashy,” Jinxx cooed, hugging him tightly. “He meant that crying babies can be a bit…well, annoying. Jake and I are pretty serene and can handle a crying baby; he’s hyper and willing to run around and play like a slightly older child would. We don’t like to run around and play quite as much, and he couldn’t handle a little baby and its crying if he tried.”

“Oh,” Ash said softly, looking thoughtful for a moment before grinning.

“Well, why don’t you eat up, Jinxxy?” Jake suggested, moving to take the now-infant Andy from him.

“How are we gonna feed him, though?” Jinxx countered, worried when the baby in his arms scrunched his face up like he was going to cry again. “I’m pretty sure that’s why he started crying earlier.”

“Hmm… What if I wash a beer bottle out really good so there’s no beer left in it, screw the lid back on as tight as I can, and poke a hole in it? Think that’ll work as a bottle till we can run to the store?” the guitarist suggested.

“What about the jagged edges of said lid?” his lover asked worriedly, gently bouncing the baby as he began to fuss again.

“Hmm… I hope it won’t cut him, but I think that’s our only option right now,” he said, sounding worried as well.

“I guess so,” he agreed, worry making his eyes turn grayer than normal. “You get to work on that. Ceece, think you can get Ash and I a plate while I keep Andy calm till Jake gets his bottle made?”

“Yeah, I can manage that,” the drummer answered, nodding. “C’mon, Ash. You can help me.”

Grinning, the little boy hopped off Jinxx’s lap and followed him into the kitchen, where he told CC specifically what he wanted for breakfast. Jinxx stayed right where he was at the table, gently cradling Andy’s tiny form to his chest, gazing down into his icy-blue eyes as he cooed to and gently bounced him to keep him calm. The tiny baby he held stared up at him with confusion in his eyes, clearly wondering what was going on, but unable to verbalize his thoughts, if he had any.

It wasn’t long before CC and Ash came back to the table, the little boy holding his plate in both hands while the drummer held his friend’s in only one. Even though they both knew that the bassist was capable of carrying his own plate and was still an adult mentally, he was currently physically a child. Due to that fact, his balance and fine motor skills were likely to be that of a child as well, meaning that he had to use both hands and move slower than he was used to. By the time they were seated once again, Jake walked up to his sweetheart with a beer bottle that was full of warm milk, a hole punched through the lid that he’d screwed onto it tightly, just as he’d promised.

“Lemme have Andy, and I’ll see if I can get him to eat something,” he said, setting the bottle on the table.

“Just be careful, Jakey,” Jinxx answered, gently transferring the baby to his lover’s arms. “I don’t want you to accidentally cut his gums on the sharp edges of that lid.”

“That was the plan, my love,” Jake told him. “Hey there, Andy. You hungry?”

The baby in his arms appeared to smile for a moment, then screwed his face up as if uncomfortable.

“Okay, okay. Here, here ya go,” the guitarist said, dancing his way into the living area as he turned the beer bottle, which he’d picked up again, upside-down so he could get something.

“CC, get an empty notebook out of Andy’s bunk and write down what I tell you so I can finish eating,” Jinxx said once his lover and their frontman were gone.

Nodding, the drummer decided to be silly and salute him as he headed into the bunk room, which earned a giggle from Ash.

“Hey, watch it, kiddo,” he said, looking down at him. “We don’t want you choking.”

“Sorry, Jinxx,” Ash said, smiling sheepishly.

Sighing, the multi-instrumentalist turned back to his food, trying to keep his attention on at least three things at once. The first was their pint-sized bassist and making sure he didn’t choke, and that he helped him out before it became an emergency if he did, the second was making a mental list for CC to write down upon his return of all the things they were going to need, and the third was how well his lover was doing with baby Andy further up in the bus. And that wasn’t including keeping his mind on his food and trying to get it eaten before it got so cold it was inedible.

Upon CC’s return, he started spouting off the things they’d need for Andy’s care first. Aside from the obvious clothes, since he was obviously nude, they were going to need formula and possibly baby food, bottles, passies, and diapers. There were many more things to list, but they couldn’t be taken care of as quickly as those things could, especially at Wal-Mart, but he’d get to the other stuff later.

After writing down everything they needed for their now-infant frontman, they got to work on a separate list of things for Ash’s care. There weren’t as many specialized things they’d need for him, although Jinxx insisted on getting nighttime Pull-Ups, just to be on the safe side. Of course the pint-sized bassist was indignant about this, but he told him it was to save further embarrassment later on. He asked him what he meant and he told him that, because he had the body of a child, he might not be able to hold it all night. Even if he could, he might have a bad dream or something that caused him to lose control of himself and have an accident in his sleep, and the nighttime Pull-Ups would save him from embarrassment.

Seeing the point he was trying to make, Ash agreed that he’d rather suffer the indignity of wearing Pull-Ups at night than the embarrassment of wetting the bed, even by accident. He insisted on picking out his own clothes as best he could, knowing that childrens’ departments didn’t have quite the same variety that adults’ departments did. He wanted to stick as close to his current style as possible, and that was something they both knew was going to be a major stressor before it was all said and done.

* * *

Once Jinxx and Ash finished their breakfast, the drummer immediately leapt to his feet and got their pint-sized friend to help him wash the dishes they’d dirtied up that morning. Sighing contently, the multi-instrumentalist made his way to the living area to see how his lover was doing with their infant frontman, and to possibly lend a hand if he needed one. The sight he walked in on was one of such sweetness and beauty that he felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn as tears welled up and a lump formed that felt so big he thought he’d choke to death on it before he could breathe again.

Jake lay stretched out on the couch, the three-quarters-empty beer bottle sitting on the coffee table that sat in front of it. His neck was angled so that he appeared to be kissing the top of the baby’s head since he had Andy stretched out on his chest. His little head was turned to the side so that he could breathe, and he lay face-down as he listened to the guitarist’s heart in his sleep.

“Awww,” he said softly, taking in the beauty of the sight.

“He’s been this way for about ten minutes,” his lover said, barely moving as he looked up at him.

“He seemed to eat pretty good,” he agreed, looking at the bottle. “How much did you put in it?”

“The same amount it’d have in it if it’d been a fresh beer,” Jake answered, splaying his hand gently over their friend’s back. “So he had about three-quarters of what I warmed up for him.”

“He didn’t cut his gums on the lid, did he?”

“No, but it appears that he’s old enough to be teething.” He grimaced at the thought. “I think I saw at least three teeth already coming through.”

“Gimme a sec.” Jinxx got up and returned to the kitchen for a moment. “Hey, Ceece. What’d ya do with that notebook you grabbed earlier?”

“On the table!” he answered. “I’m trying to help Ash find something a little more suitable to wear, but it’s easier said than done.”

He quickly wrote “teething rings” at the bottom of Andy’s list, then joined them in the bunk room. “Jake’s got everything with Andy under control, so lemme see if I can help.”

“Okay, so obviously no one’s boxers are gonna fit him right now,” CC told him, “but he needs some kind of underpants to wear while we’re shopping. I’m not sure that his skin won’t chafe while he’s walking around if he went commando.”

“What about jeans, though?” Jinxx asked, seeing the problem.

“Hmm… Aren’t you the smallest?” he countered.

“In leg length, but not waistline,” he answered, shaking his head. “I might be the shortest, but other than you, Andy’s the skinniest. Or rather, he was.”

“Andy’ll kill us if we make any alterations to any of his wardrobe for Ash’s sake,” the drummer said, grimacing.

“You got an old pair of sweatpants you don’t mind losing?” he asked.

“I think so. Why? You got an idea?”

“I’m pretty good with a needle and thread. Maybe Ash can pick his least favorite pair of boxers and, along with a pair of your old sweatpants, and I can alter them just enough to fit for today.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“C’mon, Ash. You’re the only one who can pick your least favorite pair of boxers.”

“Do I have to, Jinxx? I don’t wanna destroy any of them!” the pint-sized bassist whined.

“Well, your skin is much more delicate right now. Do you want your balls or hiney to chafe because you went commando?” Jinxx countered.

“Ouch. Heck no!” he answered, shaking his head furiously.

“Then c’mon and help me out.”

Ash sighed and led him back to the back room that he and his own lover’d shared the previous night, where they started going through his suitcase. The choice he had to make was a bit arduous because he’d packed nothing but his top favorites, but he finally managed to weed out the pair he considered his least favorite out of what he brought. A tear rolled down his cheek at the thought of his brother having to destroy a really good pair of boxers, but he really didn’t want his delicate skin to chafe.

By the time they got to the living area, where he stood nude in front of the multi-instrumentalist while he used safety pins to hold the underwear in the position they should be, CC had found his oldest pair of sweatpants. He helped Jinxx pin the boxers, working on one side of the waistband and one leg while he began to sew them into their new size on the other.

Jake still lay on his back on the couch, baby Andy stretched out atop him as he napped after being fed. The guitarist was still awake and quietly observing what the drummer and multi-instrumentalist were doing, quietly telling them if something wasn’t quite even if they didn’t catch it. Otherwise, he stayed as quiet as he could to avoid disturbing the infant sleeping on his chest so they didn’t have to worry about waking him. It was while his sweetheart was in the middle of sewing the sweatpants into their new size, which included hemming the legs, that they heard the baby in question start grunting like he was uncomfortable. He began to wonder if he was having a bad dream…until he felt his chubby little belly flexing against him.

CC looked at him with a confused expression on his face as he made sure the shirt they’d wrapped him in earlier was still tightly around him. Their bassist, child that he now was again, didn’t pay either of them any attention, focusing intently on not moving so he didn’t get poked with the sewing needle next to his hip. Jinxx looked up at his lover and told him to take him to the back room to clean him up, telling him that the best they could do until they got to the store was to use a damp rag. Nodding, Jake sat up as slowly as he could, grimacing at the feeling of something warm and a bit wet touching his hand through the T-shirt.

“What was that all about?” the drummer asked, still confused.

“Well, even though he’s now a baby again, Andy’s still gotta go like the rest of us,” Jinxx answered, still looking at what he was working on.

“So he basically…pooed…all over Jake?” CC asked, grinning as he began to chuckle.

“If we weren’t wrapped in that T-shirt I found earlier, then yeah, he would’ve,” he answered, nodding. “It was the closest thing I had to a cloth diaper, which would’ve worked till we could get disposables.”

“No wonder he was grunting like he was,” the hyperactive man chuckled.

“Well, he might’ve been a bit constipated from his infant body being unable to handle whatever was left of what he ate yesterday.” The multi-instrumentalist quickly and deftly tied a knot in the thread he’d been using and made Ash hold his arm out of the way. “Don’t move so I don’t accidentally cut you, okay?”

“Okay, Jinxx,” Ash said softly, sounding a bit scared.

“Don’t worry; I know how to cut thread without cutting you, so long as you stand still,” he reassured him.

“Can I still breathe?” the little boy asked.

“Of course! When I said don’t move, I meant don’t turn with no warning, not ‘hold your breath till I tell you otherwise’!” Jinxx laughed.

By the time he’d gotten the boxers and sweatpants sewn into a size that better fit Ash’s new frame, Jake returned from the back room with baby Andy wrapped in a new makeshift diaper. Along with a fresh T-shirt from the guitarist’s own suitcase, a sacrifice he wasn’t very happy to make, he was wrapped in a hoodie for warmth since it was cold outside and they had nothing to dress him in.

It wasn’t long afterward that Jinxx pinned one of the bassist’s favorite shirts, which he’d refused to let him alter, despite wanting to wear it, into a size that fit him a little better. Then he took their infant frontman from his lover so he and CC could go get dressed, then switched off again to get dressed himself. Once all those preparations were made, they were able to get the bus driver, who doubled as their manager, to stop at the nearest Wal-Mart for them to do their shopping. He was shocked to see that two of the band members were suddenly so young, but understood exactly why they had to stop.

Jon immediately parked the bus behind the closest Wal-Mart, where he jumped off it and ran into the store with them. CC carried their pint-sized bassist since he had no shoes, soon making him get in the cart since he refused a piggy-back ride and he couldn’t carry him forever. Jinxx kept baby Andy in his arms since he seemed to stay the calmest with him, and Jake pushed the cart that Ash rode in, grumbling quietly to himself.

The adventures of having two children not only in the band, but on the bus as well, was only just beginning, and all of them knew it. After doing all this shopping, and for things that likely wouldn’t be used for very long before they were no longer necessary, they still had to figure out exactly what’d happened and why. Not only that, but they had to nail down living arrangements until they managed to reverse whatever’d happened, as well as what they were going to tell the public about future plans of recording and touring. Even if Ash’d stayed his normal self, they couldn’t do shit without Andy, and with him being a baby right now, that meant nothing could get done. Things were going to be stressful and hectic, but they’d soon get things figured out.

Notes