Love And Other Drugs
The lights in the bathroom were low, candlelight being the most source of the soft glow that filled the small room. Luxe stood in front of the foggy mirror, her wet hair plastered to her head as she looked at her own reflection. Her pale grey eyes were tired looking, sad and blood shot with all of her makeup being wiped away and flowing down the drain in front of her. Her lips were parted slightly as she looked at her slowly yellowing teeth-disgusting. Her breathing was heavy-she was relaxed but the relaxation from her scalding shower was only temporary. Andy was leaving in the morning and the female singer was having a hard time dealing with it.
The past week had sped by in an instant. One moment she and Andy were fucking in that alleyway behind the studio, to going out to dinner. Then they had spent some time hanging out locally, going to a few venues and just seeing the sites. Luxe had been in the studio every day and Andy had been right there with her, holding her hand as the girls fine tuned their second album and she couldn't imagine what would of happened if he hadn't of been here.
Alex had turned in to a complete monster-picking at her left and right and tearing her down the best he could. It was all because she hadn't done what he asked and Luxe knew it was only going to get worse.
Now she and Andy were having to say goodbye the following day-their time together done for now as he had to head back to LA while she stayed up in Seattle to finish the record. The girls only had another two weeks and then they would be flying home, but at the same time Andy would be in Santa Monica with the guys and Luxe would barely see him.
As soon as the girls got home, Luxe, Pixie, Lulu, Mads and Char were to be on set for their album shoot, music video shoot and a press tour to get people excited for the coming album. They were scheduled to tour in the winter, probably after the Holidays, which made Luxe happy of course but there was still a small problem.
She was a full blown addict.
The thing about Luxe was that she wasn't a typical addict-she didn't just have one drug that she focused on. Alcohol, pills, Coke, uppers, and heroin...she wanted it all and she took it all. Since Andy had been in Seattle, Luxe had only shot up once and that was the first night he had been here, after he had passed out. Since then she had stuck with her Valium and her uppers, but tonight with it being her last night with Andy, Luxe knew she needed a bump. Looking down at the counter in front of her Luxe inhaled deeply and shut her eyes for a moment.
Should she do this? What would happen if she did? Would Andy find out or would he just figure it was because she was so tired? Opening her eyes, Luxe stared at herself and couldn't help but feel disgusted. She had turned in to the one person she had never wanted to be-she had become everything she hated. Her mother, her father...all of the junkies in the world and now Luxe had joined them. Her bank account was beginning to suffer and it was a good thing that she and Andy were living together otherwise she would be in trouble. Sucking in a breath Luxe began to prepare her needle.
The spoon shook in her fingers as she held it with her left hand, while Luxe got the already crushed powder with her right. A few sprinkles of the powder in to the spoon and then the flick of a lighter. Her face looked ghostly as the flames made the now liquid bubble and boil. She moved quickly, taking a new needle out from her small makeup bag and sucking up the now liquid form of her only salvation.
A small rubber tube was tied around her wrist and Luxe stared down at her hand. She could see her veins, the light blue life lines that were leading up to her fingers and back to her heart. Lifting up her left hand, a fingernail flicked against the needle, removing all air bubbles and then she knew...it was ready.
A sudden knock on the door made Luxe jump and she dropped the needle into the sink. It made a clattering sound and she only hopped that the person on the other side of the door hadn't noticed.
"Luce? Baby doll? You okay in there?" It was Andy-fuck! Luxe quickly picked up the needle, looking at it before jabbing it in to the tiny vein between her middle and ring finger.
"Yep! Fine-just finishing up getting ready for bed..." She said, her voice growing soft as the drug began to make it's way through her veins. Beautiful...
"Oh-okay, well I have a surprise for you before we hit the bedroom." He said, his voice unsure and Luxe knew that he suspected her. She had seen him and Char talking the other day and she knew the guitarist was keeping tabs on her.
"S-sounds good babe." She said, her voice sleepy. Slowly she packed her things up, the small makeup bag holding her spoon, lighter, needles, tie-off and of course her stash. Not only her heroin, but also her Coke, pot, uppers and her molly. The only thing that would stay out would be her Valium.
"You sure you're okay in there?" He called to her again and Luxe sighed as she placed her hands on either side of the sink and stood there. He cared-he loved her-but fuck it all Andrew Biersack was one nosey mother fucker.
"Perfect." She said, her tone as peppy as she could make it as Luxe reached for the knob and opened the door.
There he was-the embodiment of perfection and he was all her's. Luxe smiled, taking the hand that was being held out to her and silently they both walked down the hall of her rented home. It had been a wonderful experience of course, but Luxe was ready to get back home. She and Andy had been talking about adopting a set of kittens, something to bring them together and Luxe had been really excited about it.
They were headed towards her room and Luxe was trying to keep her eyes from crossing. She was so tired, her limbs felt like lead and she just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day-they both knew it and they were both dreading it.
The door was opening in front of her and Luxe smiled softly as she walked into her bedroom. All of the lights were off and there sitting on her bed was Char's acoustic guitar. Andy kissed the top of her head as he pulled her toward the bed, allowing her to sit on the edge as he moved around to the other side.
There was only one single candle that was lighting their little world and as Luxe sat there in her Catwoman t-shirt and sweat pants she couldn't help but feel at peace. She watched as Andy picked up the guitar, strumming the strings lightly with his fingers as he looked up and trained his blue eyes on her peaceful looking face.
Luxe had been a real trooper this past week-working her little ass off in that recording studio and then spending her nights with him. Alex had been the biggest douche-nothing Luxe ever did was good enough and Andy had almost punched him, but then Mads had yanked him out of the studio and the two of them had had several cigarettes as Andy calmed down. Mads had told him that Alex had been vindictive towards Luxe ever since the couple had defied him and refused to break up. Either way they were here and Andy had wanted to share this with Luxe the entire week, but never felt like the moment was right.
"What's going on?" She asked, her voice sleepy and Andy only smiled as he reached out and traced her lips with his thumb. He knew how exhausting recording could be and he knew that soon enough they would both be asleep in one anothers arms.
"Well, I wrote a song for you and wanted you to hear it before the record came out." Andy explained and Luxe only looked at him. He had written a song for her? She felt amazed, shocked and completely high off her ass...too high to truly appreciate this moment for what it was.
"O-oh? What's it about?" She asked and Andy only smiled as he let his hand fall from her face and repositioned the guitar in his lap.
"You-us-our struggle to find where we belong and what's been happening in our relationship...our fighting." He said the last part quietly and even thought Luxe was floating she could see that this meant a lot to him.
"What's it called?" She asked and he only smiled at her, his fingers strumming the strings idly.
"Done For You." He said and then began to play.
The words coming from Andy's lips made her eyes tear up and for several different reasons. Mostly it was because Luxe was angry at herself for being high in this moment, but it was also because no one had ever done something so sweet for her before. The words were soft, easy and simple, but they meant so much to her and she knew that Andy had really put a lot in to this song. It was slow, something he didn't do often and she couldn't help but wonder what the other guys felt when they heard this song? Luxe quickly got out of her own head and tried to focus completely on the words of love and passion coming out of Andy's lips.
The best things in life
Come with a price
The star that burned so bright faded the fastest
You'll always feel it's rights
Even when we end the fights
Welcome home, home tonight
Singing ohhh, ohhh
Welcome home tonight
Ohhh ohh, tonight
Words they don't know how to make amends
And all they do is push you to the edge
But it's not wasted
It's all done for you
It's all done for you
It's all done for you
It's all done for you
"A-Andy..." She whispered as he finished and as Andy looked up from the strings of the guitar in his hands and off towards Luxe, his face fell. She was crying, sobbing and he couldn't understand why. Sure the song spoke of their hardships, but it was meant to say that everything he did in life at the point was for her...to help her.
"Shh. It's okay babe...it's okay." He said as he set the guitar down and pulled the love of his life closer. She clung to him, crying as her cheek rested against his chest.
Andy just held her, tightly, until finally it seemed like she had drifted off to sleep. He knew that that song was filled with emotion and he had never expected Luxe to react so strongly to it, but he knew that meant was important to her. Slowly the two of them drifted to sleep, Andy still holding her and the saddest part in all of this was that he truly loved this girl, with everything in him and every fiber of his being.
He just didn't know he would soon lose her in the worst way possible.