Love And Other Drugs

The air was on full blast, but even the cool air running across her body wasn't helping Luxe very much. She and the girls were in the studio after a week off-a much needed break for both their sanity, but also for their fingers, hands and Luxe's throat. The girls had spent a lot of time together-going out to the movies and they had even rented a small beach house in Malibu for a few days.

But now they were back in the swing of things and ready to knock things out.
The album was half finished and as Luxe sat in the comfy leather chair that Jimmy usually frequented, she looked over the list of already finished songs.

Daughters Of Darkness
Let Me Down
American Boys
Here's To Us
Freak Like Me
Beautiful With You
Defame Me
Epidemic
The Joker
You Call Me A Bitch Like It's A Bad Thing

It was already a long list and the girls were still working on songs. Some of the songs they had tracked might not make it to this album, but they were tracking them anyways to use at a later time. It was weird recording an album again, but in the end it had proved to make them stronger not only as a band but also as friends. Luxe set down the list in her hands and looked around, a smile gracing her lips.

Char and Mads were both sitting on the couch in the corner, chatting about the coming tour that they were going to announce in the coming days. Pixie was sitting on the floor in front of Lulu, who was expertly running her black painted fingers through the girl's hair and pulling it in to braids. All seemed well and good, except Luxe couldn't hide the fact that she felt like a piece of her was missing.

A very large Andy shaped piece.

The guys were still up in Vancouver, but they were due back in just two days to finish everything up with their album. Luxe had heard bits and pieces of it and she thought the songs were some of their best yet-they were heavy but Andy's melodic voice made them softer in a way. Luxe missed Andy, every second of every day she felt her heart ache for him, but she knew that he had a job to do and so did she.

But he was distant and Luxe could no longer deny her true feelings-she wanted something more from Andy and it wasn't something he seemed to be ready to give. She not only wanted to live together-they had done that before with mixed results-she also wanted to become a true family. All of the girls now had steady boyfriends that seemed to be going the distance and Pixie was already talking about wedding dresses and what song she wanted to walk down the aisle to.

Luxe and Andy had been together the longest out of everyone and yet they seemed stuck and Luxe wasn't sure how to get them out of their current predicament.


"Luxe? You okay over there?" Someone asked her and the singer only lifted her head and looked towards her bandmates. They were all staring at her and suddenly she wondered what her face looked like to make them see that something was wrong.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm okay. Just thinking about the song we're working on." She said, hoping that they would buy it. All of the girls, except for Char, only nodded and went back to what they were doing.


Char always seemed to be able to tell what was going on with her and Luxe knew it was because the guitarist truly cared for her. Sure the other three girls cared, but Char would die for her and she would kill anyone who hurt Luxe in any kind of way. Currently it seemed like Char was ending her conversation with Mads and sure enough Luxe found herself being joined by the fiesty guitarist.


"I know you don't just have the song on your mind. Andy still freezing you out?" Char asked quietly from her seat on the arm of Luxe's chair.

"He's being as charming as ever, but he still avoids the topic of us moving in together and going to the next level." Luxe said and this time she couldn't hide the distress in her tone. Char breathed heavily, her nostrils flaring as she looked down at the forlorn singer.

"Ugh. Do you want me to talk to him when they get back home?" Char offered and Luxe only smiled. Char was always looking out for her and always wanted Luxe to feel like she was cared about.

But this was something that Luxe was going to have to deal with on her own.

"No, but thank you Char. I think Andy and I are just going to have to deal with this one step at a time." Luxe said. Char was about to respond when the studio door opened and a tired looking Jimmy walked in. He was, by far, the best producer they had ever worked with and the girls all seemed to brighten up when he came in the room.

"Hello loves. Are we ready for another long day today?" Jimmy asked as he set down his arm full of papers and then smiled at them all. These girls had been working their asses off and he could understand why. Their last full length album had bombed and the girls were still reeling from the reaction to it.

"Ready as ever. Which song are we working on?" Pixie asked as she stood up, her hair now sitting in a set of braid that were on either side of her face.

"Break In. I was thinking, if you don't mind Luxe, that we try and get this all in one take. I think the song calls for a vulnerability and one take will give us that."Jimmy said and Luxe gulped. Suddenly she felt an immense pressure being placed on her shoulders. But she only smiled and looked at them all.

"No, I actually think that sounds amazing." She said as she walked towards the booth with Jimmy following behind her. This song would only be her voice and a piano-it was a haunting song that she had already performed for Andy and had thought that no one else would hear it.


The room was different and it was obvious by the mammoth addition of a Baby Grand Piano that Jimmy was hoping Luxe would go for his idea. The producer sat down on the bench, his sheet music all ready for him and Luxe only took a few deep breaths as she moved to take her spot behind the mic. All of the other girls were staring at her through the very large glass window and Luxe tried to put on a brave face for them.

Mads gave her a thumbs up, while both Pixie and Lulu just gave her encouraging smiles. Chat stayed still, but Luxe noticed that the guitarist had her camera in her hands and seemed to be staring down at the screen. Was she recording this right now? Luxe felt her pulse quicken at the thought, but she tried to force herself to calm down. This wasn't a big deal-Luxe sang live all the time and truly this wasn't any different.


"You ready to do this Luxe?" Jimmy asked as he cracked his knuckles and smiled at her.

"As I'll ever be." She replied and then closed her eyes.

Luxe seemed to get lost in the music as Jimmy played the tune that seemed to haunt her dreams lately. Luxe had written this song with Andy in mind and she had even performed it for him before he left for Vancouver, but she had honestly thought it would stop there. Emotions seemed to flood her as she opened her mouth, trying her best to keep the tears from affecting her voice and the song over all.


Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home
When it's all said and done I'll follow the echoes
I hear you night after night calling out my name
And I find myself running to meet you
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down

Andy always seemed to be able to make her feel something, even when she wanted to be numb and Luxe would always be thankful to him for that. He kept her on track, even when her brain was telling her to give in to all of the things that would do the exact opposite, Andy was there like a beacon in the night. Although there had been a few times where she hadn't wanted to give in to him, Luxe always found herself running towards Andy with open arms.

You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn, you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in


Luxe sang on, even though now there were tears streaming down her cheeks and yet she felt like she could barely lift her arm enough to wipe them away. All of the thoughts and memories of she and Andy seemed to be flooding her in that moment and Luxe didn't know what to do to fight them off. There really wasn't much she could do, except to keep her eyes closed and to just finish the song the best she could.


"What are you doing?" Mads hissed at Char as the drummer noticed that the grey haired guitarist was filming the entire thing. It was an emotional song and they were all feeling a little bit teary eyed.

"Just capturing the moment." Char said simply as she pressed the stop button once Luxe finished singing and Jimmy stopped playing. While the other girls rushed in to comfort Luxe and see if she was okay, Char held back and began to upload the new video in to a text message-to Andy. She pressed send, only typing a simple, but firm message to go along with the video.

Char: You're losing her...

Notes