Gift of Love

Upon walking into the NICU, Ash saw one of the nurses he’d regularly seen working with his son cooing and laughing softly as she got him dressed. That brought a smile to his face, especially when he heard Adrian’s sweet little laugh answer her, and he knew this moment was bittersweet. It was a good thing that the baby was doing well enough to be brought home, especially since it was earlier than anyone had anticipated, but he’d made friends with the nurses who cared for him, in a way. Going home meant leaving behind his friends and having to make new ones, as well as the nurses losing a friend of theirs.

He stopped near her and set the carrier down on the floor, waiting until she looked up and saw him to say anything. He didn’t want to startle her and cause her to hurt his son, so he just waited patiently, which was only about a minute, anyway. When the nurse looked up and saw him, she gave him a sad smile since she knew why he was there, but he swore he saw something that looked like disgust in her eyes.

Thankfully, the woman handed his son over to him without giving him any issues just as Dr. West walked into the room. As he stood there cradling his giggling baby, who reached up to grab tendrils of hair that he hadn’t been able to get into a ponytail or had been blown out of it, the doctor began to go over some highlights of his care. They were just little tidbits that would help caring for a preemie easier since he was already a seasoned parent, though he’d never had a preemie before.

“Obviously, his immune system is weaker than that of even a full-term newborn,” Dr. West told him. “If he even so much as sniffles like he’s coming down with something, bring him back here.”

“Even so much as a common cold could be lethal at this point, right?” he asked.

“Exactly. Even if it’s nothing, it’s still better to bring him back. The quicker we can start him on antibiotics, just in case, the better in the long run,” he answered, nodding.

“Having to take so many extra precautions, in comparison to a normal newborn, is still taking some getting used to,” Ash chuckled. “I’ve dealt with little babies in the past, but never have we had to damn near have a HAZMAT team waiting outside our front door to decontaminate us.”

“Well, like I said, a preemie’s immune system is even weaker than a full-term newborn’s, and theirs are pretty much non-existent, anyway,” he told him.

“And he’s still not able to eat quite as much as a normal baby, right?” the bassist asked.

“He started out only able to eat an ounce or two at a time, but has moved up to about four now,” he answered, nodding. “Most newborns usually eat about eight ounces for the first month or so, so he’s not doing too bad, to be honest.”

“You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Dr. West,” Ash sighed, still cradling his son. “When I found out I had to deliver early or both of us could die, I was absolutely terrified. Hell, Andy was, too, and he was in Australia when we found out. Now, a month later, we’re getting to bring our son home far earlier than most preemies get to go home, if they do at all? That’s a miracle.”

“Well, considering that you never should’ve been able to carry children in the first place, Adrian himself is a miracle,” the doctor chuckled. “His survival is yet another one, in my book.”

“I guess it’s time for me to get him home,” he said. “He’s got a daddy who’s ready to see him again, and several others who wanna meet him for the first time.”

“You might wanna limit his visitors for the first couple weeks,” Dr. West advised. “You don’t wanna overwhelm him, or cause him to get sick with something one of them brings into your home.”

“I was talking about his grama and older brother and sisters, to start with,” he chuckled. “Kinda can’t get rid of them. But the men and woman who might as well be his uncles and aunt…they can wait.”

Nodding, Dr. West allowed the baby in question to grab his finger and hold onto it for a moment as he told him goodbye. Even though they were pretty good friends, in most people’s eyes, the doctor told the little fella he didn’t want to see him back in here until he was older, and even then, only so his parents could show him how well he was doing.

Chuckling, Ash allowed the nurses who’d cared for his son to tell him goodbye and that they didn’t want to see him again until he was far older and had made lots of progress. Adrian appeared to tear up during the goodbyes, as if he were going to cry from missing his friends, but somehow managed to hold his tears at bay. Apparently he realized that it was his mommy who held him, and that he was going to get to see his daddy again soon, as well. That, and like both his parents, he was trying to be brave and get through the things in life that hurt him already, despite his young age.

He knelt down on the floor and gently put his son in the carrier, quickly making sure that the straps were tight enough to hold him in place for his safety, but not so tight that they hurt him. Even though it was decently warm out today, given that it was almost spring and they were in LA, he tucked a little receiving blanket around him, then hung another over the sunshade that he pulled up. After being inside since his birth, his little eyes and sensitive skin needed to be protected from the sun when they went out.

With a quick wave to the NICU staff who’d cared for his son since the night of his birth, Ash headed down the hall toward the elevator, carrier in hand. He felt the gentle movements of his son causing the carrier to move in his hand, chuckling at how active the little guy already seemed to be. He thought back on every moment of his last pregnancy, including all the times he’d gone to see Dr. Hill, hoping to find out his baby’s gender. The little rascal had constantly shifted in such a way that she couldn’t get a clear view of his crotch, almost as if he hadn’t wanted his parents to know, and he couldn’t help another chuckle at that thought. Ash shook his head again as the elevator doors opened and he stepped into the hospital lobby.

“I will await, dear, a patience of eternity, my crush. A universal still, no rush. No dust will ever grow on this frame; one million years, and I will say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream,” began to play out of nowhere, and he knew it was his lover calling.

“Ciao, mio profeta,” he said as he headed toward their car.

“You guys gonna be home soon?” Andy asked, sounding excited.

“Yeah, why?” the bassist countered, setting the carrier down to fish his keys out of his pocket.

“The guys are wanting to throw a ‘welcome home’ party for Adrian,” his lover answered.

“Actually, they can’t. Not quite yet,” Ash told him, unlocking the car.

“Why not? Is his health not as good as the doctor thought it was?” he asked, sounding instantly worried.

“No, it’s not that. Dr. West just advised against very many visitors for the first couple weeks that he’s home,” he explained. “He’s doing fine, but anyone could bring in a cold or something that could land him back in the NICU, or worse.”

“Ah, I see. Jake called to find out if I could come to the studio, and when I told him why I couldn’t, he and CC got excited,” the younger man chuckled. “They wanted to meet him and throw him a ‘welcome home’ party.”

“It’s fine if they wanna throw him one, but they can’t for a couple more weeks,” Ash said. “We don’t want our little man getting sick or anything.”

“Definitely not. I’ll call ’em back and tell ’em what you said so you guys can get home,” he agreed.

“All right. Unless traffic’s hellacious, it shouldn’t be long,” he promised.

“See ya soon, mio deviante,” his lover said, blowing him a kiss through the phone.

“See ya soon, amore mio,” the bassist chuckled, then ended the call. “You ready to go home and see Daddy again, little man?”

Adrian giggled and seemed to squeal his excitement from his carrier.

“All right. Let’s get you in the car so we can go home.”

As gently as he could, he set the carrier down in the base that was strapped into the back seat on the passenger’s side. Looking at how tiny this car was, now that they were a family of six, he knew they were going to have to get something bigger, even if it was worse on gas. Sure, they’d keep the Mustang, if only as a toy for them till the kids were older, then probably give it to Rori when she turned sixteen, but for the moment, they were going to need something bigger.

On his way home, Ash drove a little more carefully than he normally did, constantly double-checking his mirrors before making a lane-change or turn. He didn’t feel like side-swiping someone, or being T-boned, and he damn sure didn’t want that to happen on the passenger’s side of the car. His son had already gone through more than enough in his short life; he didn’t need it ended because of a car wreck.

Thankfully, they arrived back at the house safe and sound shortly after leaving the hospital. When he pulled into the driveway, the front door opened and children exploded out it like dogs on crack, his husband remaining in the doorway as he chuckled. They all wrapped themselves around him, giggling when he chuckled and picked them up one-by-one to give them a hug and a kiss. Apparently Adrian wasn’t easily startled, or a heavy sleeper, and stayed quiet in his little carrier, which he still had to get out of the car. He told the rest of the kids to go back to their daddy, then leaned into the car to get his baby.

“Where’s the baby, Mommy?” Rori asked excitedly.

“He’s in his carrier,” Ash answered, setting it down on the coffee table. “Be quiet for a minute. I don’t want you to wake him up and accidentally scare him, if he’s asleep.”

She nodded and, like the good girl she generally was, sat down on the couch quietly. She even beckoned to the twins to join her, and they looked uncertain about what was going on since they didn’t quite understand the concept of babies and younger siblings. Surprisingly, though, they joined their big sister on the couch and sat quietly, Andy squatting next to him.

“Well, look who’s awake,” his lover said softly when he pulled the one blanket up.

“Hey there, little man,” Ash chuckled, starting to unfasten his seat belt. “You glad to be home?”

The little one looking up at him looked uncertain, like he was torn between smiling and bursting into tears.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he cooed softly, gently lifting him out of the carrier. “Mommy’s here; Mommy’s gotcha.”

“And Daddy’s right here beside him,” Andy said softly, gently caressing the top of their son’s head.

Even though Dr. West said he likely couldn’t quite focus his eyes yet, he apparently recognized his daddy’s voice and started cooing happily as he cradled him.

“Looks like somebody recognizes you, mio profeta,” the bassist chuckled, moving to hand him to him. “You wanna hold him?”

The younger man’s eyes lit up like their childrens’ on Christmas morning and he grinned.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ash chuckled, gently transferring the baby into his arms.

“It’s good to see ya again, little man,” his lover murmured softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“When do we get to see him?” Rori piped up curiously.

“Let’s wait a few minutes, sugar,” he told her. “Other than the doctors and nurses that took care of him while he was in the hospital, Daddy and I are the only ones he recognizes.”

Nodding, she stayed where she was on the couch, even grabbing the twins by their arms when they acted like they wanted to come closer and get a better look at him.

“His name is Adrian Kendall-Abrocket Biersack,” he told them, grinning when the baby shifted his gaze over to him as he said his name.

“Looks like he knows he name already,” Andy laughed. “Adrian. Look at Daddy, buddy.”

The tiny baby in his arms immediately shifted his gaze back to him when he heard his name, making it clear that he knew what it was already.

From there on out, the younger man handed the baby back to his mommy and let him cradle him to his chest, then brought the kids over one at a time to meet him. Rori was the first since she was the oldest, and the only one besides the two of them who got to hold him. Leila and Levi were just too young to hold him right now, especially in his delicate condition. They were allowed to gently caress the top of his head, but got upset when they refused to let them hold him and wound up sent to their room.

By the end of the afternoon, as bathtime neared for the older kids, Ash retreated to the nursery so he could settle their preemie in for the night. He’d be sleeping in a bassinet on his side of the bed in their room for a few more months, rather than in his crib, but all his clothes and whatnot were in the nursery. Since he didn’t want him to get cold, he gently wiped him down with baby wipes in lieu of giving him a full bath, talking and cooing to him softly as he did so. His baby’s soft, sleepy giggles and little smile brought a grin of his own to his face as he readied him for bed on his first night home.

Once he was clean and dressed, he took him to the master bedroom, where they’d moved the rocker to a little reading nook they’d had set up at one point. He quickly made himself comfortable in said rocker, his arm supported by a pillow with one ankle resting on the opposite knee. His shirt lay on the foot of the bed, where it’d been since before he’d begun readying Adrian for bed, considering that he didn’t have the modesty of a woman.

A soft wince was drawn from the bassist as his hungry son latched onto his tender nipple again, but he’d been expecting it. He sat there gently rocking the baby, singing to him softly as he listened to his husband getting their older children ready for bed, his youngest suckling at his nipple hungrily as he fed. Ash had a serene smile on his face the entire time, enjoying the feeling of being able to hold his baby to his chest in his own home. Shortly thereafter, Andy opened their bedroom door to start getting ready for bed himself, now that Rori and the twins were in bed. The younger man was awed by the sweet sight that met him, and he stood against the doorjamb with his arms crossed as he observed mother and child for a moment.

“You two look so sweet like that,” he said softly, trying not to startle either of them.

“That’s what you’ve said every time I’ve nursed one of our kids,” Ash chuckled, gently holding the baby against his shoulder.

“Well, it’s true. Not even the pictures of my mom nursing me as a baby are as cute as what I see when I catch you nursing one of our kids,” his lover insisted.

“Probably because you’re thinking, “Ew, I know I had to eat somehow, but I never wanted to be that close to my mom’s tits!’” the bassist chuckled, moving the pillow under his other arm.

“Nah. I see the beauty of a loving mother caring for her child, but it’s still not as beautiful as seeing you with our babies,” Andy insisted.

Shaking his head, he went back to nursing their son before giving him one last diaper change for the night. His lover headed into the bathroom for a shower, one that he likely wouldn’t get to join in on, but that was okay with him. They were both exhausted and needed their rest, and he still needed a couple weeks to heal before anything sexual could take place, anyway.

Once Adrian was done nursing, he burped him one last time before changing his now wet diaper, then swaddled him in his blanket again. The little baby snuggled against his chest, despite being wrapped up, and nuzzled it like he was still hungry. He knew he wasn’t and was basically giving him an Eskimo kiss, just not on his nose, and continued singing to him softly as he rocked him to sleep. It wasn’t long before he was sleeping soundly in his arms, his breathing as slow and deep as a newborn could manage. Sure that he wouldn’t wake if moved, Ash slowly got up and made his way over to his little bassinet.

Thankfully, his son didn’t wake as he gently deposited him in the bassinet and spread a second blanket on top of him. He bent low enough to press a gentle kiss to his forehead as he smoothed his hair down, keeping his volume low as he wished him a good night’s sleep and sweet dreams. When he straightened to his full height, he caught his lover taking a still-shot of him doing so and smiled at him before gathering his pajamas for a shower of his own.

He thought back to the night Adrian was born, the night he’d had to call Andy while he was in Australia and tell him it was deliver early, or risk losing both of them. That night had been one of the scariest of his life, not because he feared for his own life, but because he feared for the life of an innocent child more than he did his own. Ash couldn’t believe that in just under a month, his son’s health had improved and he’d gained enough weight to come home much earlier than most preemies. Even if he’d been a woman, he’d forever be thankful that his son was alive and well, that he’d survived such an early birth. Adrian was his little miracle baby, for sure, and he’d make sure to tell him the story of his rough beginning when he was old enough to understand it.

Notes