Gift of Love

Two weeks later, almost three after his youngest child’s birth, Ash was back at the hospital not only to visit the child in question, but to have his stitches removed, as well. Hopefully Dr. Hill would agree that his C-section incision had healed well enough for that to actually happen, but he knew they might have to stay in a bit longer. Considering how annoying they were, he hoped and prayed to every deity out there that they could be removed, and even crossed his fingers.

At the moment, he was stuck crossing said fingers and twiddling his thumbs in one of the exam rooms in the maternity ward as he awaited his OB/GYN. Andy was already down in the NICU visiting their son, whom had finally reached what should’ve been his thirtieth week of pregnancy. Thankfully, the jaundice he’d developed the morning Ash was released had cleared up fairly quickly, and he didn’t seem to be having anymore trouble breathing. They were basically waiting on him to put on a bit more weight before the doctor would release him, and he supposed it was a good thing his son was a bottomless pit.

KNOCK KNOCK! “Decent in there?”

“C’mon in, Dr. Hill,” he answered, crossing his legs at the ankles.

“Hey there, Ashley,” the OB/GYN said cheerfully. “How’ve you been?”

“Other than worried out of my mind about Adrian and annoyed as Hell with these stitches, I’ve been pretty good,” Ash answered.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” she told him as she washed her hands. “Other than the annoyance with the stitches, anything you wanna bring to my attention about your incision?”

“No, not really. I mean, it hurt like the Devil the first few days after the C-section, but I didn’t really have to take the Vicodin for it.” He pulled off his shirt after he stopped talking.

“Looks like it’s healing nicely,” Dr. Hill said, gently prodding at it. “In fact, it seems to be healing faster than any other patient I’ve ever had. I’d definitely say those stitches can come out today, so long as you continue taking it easy, just in case the incision isn’t quite healed enough yet.”

“As soon as Andy hears that, I’ll all but be chained to the bed,” the bassist laughed.

“And with good reason. I don’t think you want your belly splitting open any more than I’d want mine to,” she agreed, chuckling with him.

“I’ve actually been taking it easier than I have since I was nineteen,” he confided. “The last time I took life this easy, I’d just survived a suicide attempt, and once again, Andy was by my side, making sure I was resting.”

“So you guys have been together for quite a while now, huh?” she asked, beginning to take out the stitches.

“Almost seven years,” he answered, wincing as she pulled on a particularly tight one.

“Sorry about that. Sometimes they get put in a little tighter than I meant for them to be.” She made her movements a little more gentle, and the stitch came out with ease. “I can’t recall you saying that you guys lived here that long, though.”

“We haven’t. We got together back when we still lived in Ohio,” Ash explained. “Rori was conceived the following spring, born in February of 2009. It was about four months after she was born that we relocated, and he finished high school out here since I graduated at the beginning of my pregnancy with Rori.”

“Ah, I see,” Dr. Hill said, nodding. “All right. Lemme clean it one last time before you leave, then you can go see Adrian since I know you want to. Like I said, take it easy for about another week or so just to make sure the incision doesn’t reopen without the stitches in to hold it closed, and you should be good to go.”

“Sounds great, Dr. Hill. Thanks,” he chuckled, grinning.

Once she’d cleaned in incision and he had his shirt on again, Ash psyched himself up to go down to the NICU to see his son. So far, baby Adrian had been making improvements by leaps and bounds, and he couldn’t wait to see the little bundle of joy that should still be kicking the shit out of his ribs. The grin on his face grew as he remembered how much that particular little one liked to try and break the bones protecting his heart and lungs, but it was worth it.

The moment the elevator doors opened on the floor the NICU was located on, he stepped out and started heading down the hall. Before he could even go in, much less see his son, he had to scrub himself really well and put on what he considered tacky medical gear, but he did it anyway. He knew it was merely to protect Adrian and other babies like him from potentially fatal infections.

In the NICU, on the furthest side of the room, his husband sat in a rocker next to a little isolette that looked like the warming tables used during a normal delivery. He held a little blue bundle tightly to his chest, his head bowed as he looked down at the baby under said blanket, cooing and singing to him softly. Seeing Andy holding their son as tenderly as he’d held the rest of their kids as newborns warmed his heart, and he felt it swell with love. He couldn’t have picked a better person, male or female, to marry and have children with, so he considered himself lucky every single day.

As quietly as he could to avoid startling the tiny baby in his lover’s arms, he made his way over and squatted down in front of him. The second his prophet realized it was him, he stood up so he could have the rocker and gently transferred their son to his arms. Adrian looked up at him with the same chocolate-brown orbs that lived within his own eye sockets, which opened wide in surprise for a moment. He chuckled softly at the expression on his tiny son’s face, awed by the sight, and apparently the baby recognized him. His eyes narrowed to a less surprised look and he started cooing softly, even smiling at him a bit, as he reached up to grab a handful of the long, raven locks hanging over his shoulder.

“Mommy loves you so much, little man,” he cooed softly, keeping his son tight against his chest. “I’d lay down my life for you, and almost did.”

“I feel the same way, mio deviante,” Andy agreed from where he squatted in front of them. “Only our children have stolen my heart more than you.”

Ash grinned at him before turning his attention back to the baby in his arms, gently rocking him. “I think someone’s getting hungry,” he said softly when Adrian began to whimper a bit.

“The nurse told me it’s fine to actually nurse him now,” his lover said.

“Really? Godsmack, that’ll be such a relief,” he groaned, letting him help get his shirt off again. “I can’t stand pumping any more than I have to.”

“Lady, go put a shirt on,” another mother snapped from across the room, her own preemie snuggled against her breast. “No one wants to see that while they’re visiting a child.”

“Just so you know, I’m not a woman,” Ash snapped, glaring at her as his son latched on. “I’ve been told this is perfectly acceptable, so you, my dear, can kiss my ass.”

“That’s sick. Men aren’t even supposed to breastfeed!” she retorted.

“Well, I’m a special breed of man.” He chose not to comment further to keep his blood pressure from sky-rocketing again.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a tiny-tittied tranny,” she had the gall to say.

“Nope. The dick I have was there upon my own birth,” he answered smartly, still gently cradling his son as he fed. “And just because you have a vagina and I don’t isn’t anything special.”

“You sonofabitch!” she screeched, startling every baby in the NICU.

“What in the world in going on in here?” a nurse asked, glaring at the woman.

“Apparently someone can’t handle seeing a shirtless, nursing man,” Andy answered smoothly. “She’s been lobbing insults at my husband ever since I helped him get his shirt off so he could feed our hungry son.”

“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the nurse said sternly. “We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior at this hospital, and definitely not in the NICU.”

“I have every right to visit my daughter!” she snapped.

“That you do, but you have to abide by our policies. If you can’t do that, then you’ll have to leave.”

Before they even realized what was happening, the woman put the baby she held back in her isolette, something she shouldn’t have done without the nurse’s help, and took a swing at the woman. In less than the time it took for her to swing at her and the poor nurse have time to react, Andy was across the room restraining the woman while the nurse called security. With his long gazelle legs, crossing the room in three steps was nothing for him, and he was stronger than he appeared, so restraining her wasn’t a problem, either.

Once the security guards got to the NICU, the frontman relinquished his hold on her and let the guards cuff her for her own safety and theirs. Ash watched in stunned silence, his son still latched on and nursing happily, as his husband turned to the nurse who’d been struck. She had gashes on her jaw from the woman’s rings, and an ugly purple bruise was beginning to form.

Like the sweet, caring man he was, his husband sat her down in the rocker her attacker had vacated, quickly grabbing a first aid kit from the location she told him. Within moments, he’d cleaned and bandaged the cuts from the rings, but she still needed ice for the bruise and to keep her jaw from swelling up. Another nurse who’d come in with the security guards went down the hall to their break area and filled a Ziploc bag with ice, which she wrapped in a spare receiving blanket and handed to her colleague.

“If it weren’t obvious that you were a happily married father, I’d kiss you and beg you to marry me for that,” she chuckled, wincing as she held the ice to her jaw.

“That woman had no right to be spouting such insults at my husband, nor to take a swing at you for asking her to leave,” Andy said testily. “That’s the very thing our band stands up against.”

“What band are you guys in?” she asked curiously.

“Black Veil Brides. I’m the frontman and main songwriter, although I play bass from time to time,” he answered. “My husband over there is the bassist and secondary songwriter. Obviously, when I have to play bass, I’m covering his part for him.”

“It’s true. The only times he really has to cover for me, though, is when I’m pregnant,” Ash chuckled. “Otherwise, I manage just fine.”

“How many kids have you got?”

“This one here makes four,” he answered, smiling serenely down at Adrian. “We have a five-year-old and two-year-old twins.”

“Sheesh. I don’t know how you guys do it,” she said in awe. “I can barely handle the five-year-old I’ve got, and I only work here part-time.”

“We started way too young for our own good and have plenty of friends and family to help us when we need it,” his lover told her.

Moments later, Ash’s attention was drawn away from the conversation they were having and back to the baby he held so tenderly. He’d let go of his tender nipple, signaling that he was full at last, and now it was time to burp him before changing his diaper and rocking him back to sleep. With the dexterity of experience, he gently readjusted Adrian so that he was on his shoulder, his little arms looking like they were wrapped around his neck in a gentle hug.

He smiled serenely once again as he began to pat the preemie’s back, trying to be gentle yet forceful about it. He knew he needed to get the air out of his little belly, but he didn’t want to hurt him, especially in his abnormally fragile state. Glancing up from the corner of his eye, he caught the nurse who’d been decked watching him intently, seemingly unable to believe how gentle he could be.

A soft burp filled his ear and his son relaxed against his shoulder, almost ready to fall asleep again, and he chuckled softly. With movements that were still über gentle, he moved baby Adrian to his lap, catching his husband’s attention to ask him for a clean diaper. While Andy grabbed him a clean diaper and baby wipes, he once again put the dexterity of experience to work as he unsnapped the white onesie the NICU had put his baby in, then pulled the wet diaper from his lower half. The baby looked up at him with wide brown eyes, his little pink lips parted in an O of surprise from the cool air that tickled his sensitive skin. Ash chuckled once again as he gently wiped him clean, then set about putting the fresh diaper on him.

Still the nurse sitting across the room watched him with rapt attention, still unable to believe how gentle he could be, despite having had three newborns in the past. As he rebuttoned the little onesie and swaddled him once again, he sighed as he thought about what it would be like to finally have him home. Neither he, nor his lover, could wait for the day when they were told that Adrian was strong and heavy enough to go home, but they knew it would come soon. Still, he sighed wistfully and daydreamed as he cradled the baby to his chest again to rock him back to sleep.

“Good afternoon, Mr. and Mr. Biersack,” someone said, drawing his attention back to reality.

“Afternoon, doc,” Andy returned, rising to his full height to shake the man’s hand.

“I was just dropping by to do my rounds. Looks like Adrian here is doing pretty well,” the doctor, whose ID read Dr. Daren West, told them. “If you’ll let me see him for a minute, I can weigh him real quick and try to give you an estimate as to when he can go home.”

Nodding, Ash gently transferred his son to the doctor’s arms, slightly upset when he began to cry.

“Six pounds, four ounces,” Dr. West reported, gently lifting him from the scale. “Four more ounces, and he can go home. I wouldn’t be surprised if that were within the next few days.”

“Really?” the bassist asked excitedly, gently cradling him once again. “Shhh, shhh, shhh. Mommy’s here; Mommy’s gotcha.”

“Really, really,” the man answered, grinning. “I take it you’re the…mother of the relationship?”

“I’m the one who carried and delivered not just Adrian, but his older brother and sisters, too, so I’d say yeah,” he chuckled.

“I’ve never heard of a man with the ability to conceive and carry the way women do,” he said thoughtfully.

“It’s something only ten percent of the population is born with,” Ash explained. “I’m not the only one in our little social circle who’s like that. Our friend, CC, is the same way. In fact, he’s pregnant with his and his husband’s second child right now.”

“Wow, very rare, indeed,” Dr. West agreed. “Am I to assume you’re stopping after this one?”

“Kinda have no choice now.” He sighed as he looked down at Adrian again. “When I developed pre-eclampsia after my blood pressure bottomed out a few days after New Year’s, I decided to have a hysterectomy done after my emergency C-section. I didn’t wanna risk my health, or that of any future babies, by getting pregnant and having the same thing happen again.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Biersack,” he said, genuinely sorry.

“Don’t worry about it. And call me Ashley,” the bassist insisted. “We’ve got the four babies, who are medical miracles in and of themselves. We don’t need anymore after this.”

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Andy murmured, gently kissing his temple. “We’ve been blessed with four babies of our own creation who technically shouldn’t exist. I don’t know about you, but I was thankful enough when we had Rori. Hell, I’m just thankfully that you’re a part of my life, mio deviante.”

“Ti amo molto, mio profeta. Ti amo più di quanto posso mai strillare,” he answered.

Not long afterward, Dr. West told them that visiting hours for the NICU were over, as the babies needed their rest so they could make progress. A lump grew in the bassist’s throat as he gently laid his sleeping son back in his isolette, a single tear streaming down his cheek as he bent down enough to gently kiss his plump cheek. He murmured soft words of love to him as he smoothed his hair back, then stood back as he watched his husband repeat the gestures.

Andy wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him as close to him as he could while leading him down the hallways to the elevator. He couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks, glad that he hadn’t felt up to bothering with guy-liner in a while, and pressed his face against his lover’s chest. The younger man held him tightly until the elevator lurched to a stop, then picked him up to carry him to their car.

The entire drive back to their home, where their other rambunctious children awaited, was spent in silence. They were always sad to have to leave their baby behind, but at least the time for him to come home drew closer with every passing day. Every ounce that he gained was one ounce closer to the goal the doctor’d set for him to be released, and he was doing better than most preemies born when he was. Sure, he was bound to have a few more health problems than most kids, or even his siblings, as he aged due to his premature birth, but he was doing so well in comparison.

Most parents weren’t able to bring their preemies home for another five weeks after they hit the thirty-week milestone equivalent, at least. They were shocked to find out that Adrian was even closer to coming home than most babies born when he was, but they were so happy to hear the news. Maybe this meant that their little bundle of joy was an even bigger miracle for them than they’d originally thought. According to Nature, he shouldn’t even exist, but he does; his continued good health and getting to come home far earlier than expected were even bigger miracles. Andy and Ash never failed to count their blessings, and these were just three more they could add to their list.

Upon arriving home, the frontman noticed that his sweetheart had fallen asleep on the ride home, and decided to carry him in. He’d been so worried about one baby and busier than a honeybee caring for the other three lately that he needed all the rest he could get. Hopefully Rori and the twins wouldn’t give him any problems later that night, but he could only hope.

“Daddy!” the little girl in question cried happily as he walked through the door.

“Shhh! Mommy’s asleep!” he hissed, gently kicking the door shut.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Rori said sheepishly. “I was just excited that you guys are home.”

“Where are Leila and Levi?” Andy asked as he headed upstairs, his sweetheart gently cradled in his arms.

“Out back playing with Uncle Jinxx and Logan,” she answered.

“Go on out back with them and I’ll be outside as soon as I get Mommy settled in bed, okay?” the frontman said.

“Okay, Daddy. Give him a kiss on the cheek for me,” she requested, then headed back downstairs.

Shaking his head, he walked over to his husband’s side of the bed and gently deposited the older man on it. Ash grabbed his pillow and curled up in his sleep, not even noticing when he gently pulled his shoes off and set them by the foot of the bed. As gently as he possibly could, he pulled the covers up over him to make sure he stayed warm, then gently brushed his hair back as he pressed a feather-light kiss to his temple. Once sure he was comfortable and not likely to wake for a while, Andy gave him a serene smile, even though he couldn’t see it, and gently closed their door before heading downstairs to the insanity that was his older children.

Notes