Suffer In Silence

****Time Lapse****

*Jake's POV*

Fuck being at school sucked, all we wanted to do all day was get back to the hospital. Jinxx had texted us that Koda woke up, said something about her waking up screaming someone's name... what was it? Jane? no that's not it, started with a 'K'... oh! Kate!... who is this Kate? why is that the first thing she thought about when she woke up?. It's been almost an hour now, we've all been talking amongst ourselves while waiting for her to wake up again. Another thing... surely her family know she's woken up by now? where are they? This is beyond fucked...

*Dakota's POV*

I wake up with a groan, those fucking hospital lights are killers I fucking swear... Suddenly I hear the quiet murmuring stop, confused, I open my eyes further and rub them so I can see better. Everyone is staring at me... I scrunch my face up, feeling so fucking awkward now... "Uh... what the fuck are you fucks looking at?" I finally say, smirking a little at my nice burn. At first they all just stare at me, I giggle as every one of them trips over themselves, rushing to explain and bumping into each other as they run over to my bed. With the exception of Jinxx, of course, who, like me, is bed-ridden.

We talk for awhile, once all the hugging is over. "Hey guys..." I say nervously biting my lip. They all look at me and wait for me to continue... "Well... um... the doctors told me about the accident, I'm guessing it's you guys me and my dad fucked over.... I'm so fucking sorry, I don't know how yet, but I'll pay you back for the damages..." I look down, ashamed. CC practically jumps on me, "no! I'm the one to blame! I was driving too close behind you! If I had have been two car spaces away, the worst that would have happened would have been a bump!" he yells, the others hush him.

I stayed silent for a bit, then smirk... "Well in that case you owe me a new drum kit, hand over the cash Coma"... CC looks horrified, "shit! I'm sorry! I- wa- do- you drum?!". Andy laughs, "dude she's messing with you, you are right?" he asks me. "Haha, yeah, he dosn't owe me shit, I don't even know if they were broken or not, haven't seen my dad yet so... oh and CC I don't play, I had only just got them, we were on our way home from the music store when the accident happened..."

Before anyone can say anything more, a doctor comes in, a grim look on his face, I get a dreading feeling in the pit of my stomach... "I'm going to have to ask you lot to leave miss Pike and I alone now..." the doctor says sternly. I see them exchange confused looks and walk over to Jinxx's bed. The doctor closes the curtain around the bed for more privacy and walks closer. "I don't know how to say this miss Pike... well... I'm just very sorry for your loss...". What? my loss? What does he mean?... The confusion must have shown of my face, because what he says next shocks me...

"I'm afraid you've lost the foetus, you had been 3 days pregnant when you lost it, the miscarriage occurred during your coma..." he explains, I don't say anything, I can't, I'm just too shocked... He leaves me, I hear him telling the others it's best to leave me be for today. I roll over and face the window, then curl up and pull the blanket over my head, I then proceed to cry silently, grieving the baby I had never known I had... Then it hits me... oh my god... the dream... the baby... it was Kate! I was given the chance to hold and see my baby at least once... before I woke up...

*****Time Lapse*****

The next few days go by agonisingly slowly. Every day they try to talk to me, even just get a reaction out of me, but it's useless, I'm too numb, Kates loss is destroying me inside. I don't care if she was only 3 days into gestation, she's no 'foetus', she's my fucking baby. I know now that the dream was my guardian angels way of showing me my baby girl, giving me a chance to hug her, touch her, kiss her little forehead... But it wasn't enough, why couldn't I have had longer? why was it in my fate to fall pregnant with her, only to have her ripped away so soon? I don't fucking get it!...

Every day the nurses try to make me eat, and every day I refuse... I can feel the weight dropping off of me, but I don't care. If anything it's a good thing anyway, mums right I am a bit fat... I get up and head over to the basin and mirror near my bed, next to the bathroom door, the nurses use it. I want to see the damage... What I see is horrendous, my face is swollen and bruised, there's cuts everywhere... the windscreen must have smashed... Then I see my hair, it's a mess, but worse there's a shaved patch on the left side with a bandage over it. Something inside me snaps. Ripping off the bandage, I take the shaver and start shaving all the hair off on the left side, but I only get to the ear when someone rips it out of my hand...

*Andy's POV*

I walk into the room grimly, ever since that doctor talked to Koda she won't talk to us, or even eat!... What the fuck did he say to her? What could have been so bad?... I hear buzzing... fuck!... I run over and rip the shaver out of Koda's hand, turn it off, and hug her tight, "it's going to be ok... whatever it is, we'll help you through it, you hear me?" I whisper, tears streaming down my face. She starts crying so brokenly, her legs give way and I let us both sink to the floor, never letting her go... She's so fucking thin... it's breaking my heart to see her like this... what can I do to make her feel better?...

*Jinxx's POV*

I watch on, sadness taking over me, it kills me to see her totally break like this... what the hell did this to her?!... A few hours later I'm forced to watch on as they take her away, a nice nurse kindly tells me that she's being taken to the mental ward of the hospital....

Notes

Finally chapter 12... I'm very sorry about the wait and even more sorry about the shittieness of the chapter... I just wanted to explain the dream, which was a dream I had in real life, but without as much detail...

But hey its something for now right? Don't worry it won't be a dark and gloomy forever, I have some happy times planned I just don't want to rush into them and skip important details along the way haha

As always, let me know what you think, if you think it's shit say so and what you think was bad about it, if you have any ideas please let me know and I may use them, if I do I always give credit in the notes to the person whose idea/s I use :3

Ch. Title Credit: Sleeping With Sirens - Don't Fall Asleep at the Helm