We're Setting Worlds On Fire

“Uh-hey guys…” Andy smiled at them all as he walked into the small room, tossed his duffle bag in to a corner and sat down on the couch next to Jake. The guitarist was currently holding his guitar in his lap and there was Andy’s green notebook balancing on the armrest of the couch.

“Hey man. How’s it going?” CC asked from his left and Andy only cocked an eyebrow at the drummer as he looked his way. CC was speaking very slowly and carefully to him-almost as if he thought Andy was going to either explode or burst in to tears.

“I’m fine…you guys working on some stuff?” Andy asked as he moved around in his seat and looked at everyone in the room. Jake was sitting nearest him and he was looking at Andy with kind and sad eyes. Jinxx was over by the small makeup table and he looked like he wanted to cry. Ashley and CC were both giving Andy looks as if they were worried that he might kill them all in an instant.

“Uh-yeah…we were kind of just joking around with some stuff and then Ash came in. You doing okay?” Jake asked as he set his guitar down, leaning it up against the side of the couch as he placed a hand on Andy’s knee.


Andy huffed as he closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. Why were they talking to him like he was a bomb about to go off? What exactly had Ashley told them in the two minutes that Andy hadn’t been in the room? That he was crazy? That he was seeing things? That dead girls and Demons were showing themselves to him and even though Andy didn’t even understand they were still looking at him like it was his entire fault. He had never asked for any of this!

Dammit he had been decently happy being in Hell-it had been boring and lonely but at least he could kill some shit to take his anger out! Andy crossed his arms over his chest as he stood and faced the room. These were his brothers in arms-they were supposed to understand him. Not judge him and make him feel like he was going crazy!


“Oh really? Can I hear what you have so far?” Andy asked as he remained standing there with his arms crossed and his jaw tight.

“I-I mean it’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow when you’re…” Jake stopped as Andy noticed that Ashley was shaking his head violently. He noticed that Andy had seen and soon Ash was coughing loudly and shaking his head to cover his tracks.

“When I’m what? Go on-say it.” Andy growled. His voice was low and his teeth were clenched together so tightly that it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying. The guys all adverted their eyes, except Jake who only sat there with a soft smile on his face.

“When you aren’t so stressed out. I mean come on man-we’ve been out on the road for months now and it’s getting to everyone. We can work on new stuff when we get home in a few days.” Jake said, his voice gentle and filled with understanding. He knew that Andy was seeing things because he was tired and obsessed with Lily-but this had all gone too far.

“I’m not stressed. I’m fucking fine and I would seem fine to everyone if you guys would stop looking at me like I’m crazy…” He grumbled as Andy began to pace around the room and the guys all followed him with their eyes.

“Well I mean Ash said-“ Andy cut CC off in an instant with a low growl and the drummer quickly shut his mouth and continued to twirl the drumsticks in his hands.

“What did he fucking say? Did he call me crazy? Maybe I am-but I fucking know that Lily is out there somewhere…you guys all know she’s trying to tell us something.” Andy said and it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more so than the other guys in the room with him.

“We just all think that maybe you need to let Lily go Andy. She’s gone-we all miss her but she’s gone and I don’t think she’s coming back…” Jinxx said softly and Andy only groaned as he stopped his pacing and looked over towards the guitarist. Jinxx had taken it hard when Lily had passed-Sammi had taken it harder-and Andy knew that this was hard for all of them. They were trying to get over Lily’s death and he just kept bringing her back up over and over again.

“Fuck you guys! Fuck you for not believing that she’s still around! I know it fucking hurts but how could you just give up on her like that! How could you guys just pretend like it doesn’t hurt! I don’t know how to make the pain stop and I wish I could just die and not feel anymore!” He had collapsed. His back was up against one wall of the dressing room and Andy just sat there with his hands covering his face.


How could they all lose hope in finding Lily? Had they forgotten her that easily? Andy cried as he sat there-he cried like a little baby and he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of him in that moment. He wanted Lily-he wanted her back in his arms and he wanted her to come back NOW. He wanted her to come walking in to that room with her cute little smile pressed on her lips. She would come in, take his hand, pull him up and hold him.

She would run her fingers through his hair, rubbing their tips across his scalp until he calmed down. She would stand on the side of that stage while they did soundcheck and then she and Andy would run out and get something to eat for them and the guys. Later that night she would return to the side of that stage and look like the Angel that she was as she stood under the lights and watched them play. Then…then the two of them would go to the motel or van, cuddle, make love and talk about their future together.

That’s what Andy wanted…that’s what he needed in that moment.

Instead he knew what was going to happen-they would all sit around this tiny room and not talk about what really needed to be talked about. Then they would go to soundcheck-Ash would drag him there as Andy never wanted to go-then they would sit around until it was time to go on. Andy would play, he would perform for his fans, but his heart wouldn’t be in it. He would leave the stage, breathless and with his chest heaving as he smoked a cigarette and talked to whatever fans had left the club and were milling about in the alley behind the building. Ashley would force some girl on him, get him wasted and then he would go with her to wherever and get his anger out.

Andy sighed-he couldn’t do this anymore…he couldn’t be that guy anymore. He hated himself, he hated what he had become but there was no other way to live his life. He couldn’t be happy anymore-his happiness had been turned in to a star in the sky and for him that was the worst thing in the world.


“No one said they didn’t believe you man. It’s just…you’re seeing ghosts dude! That’s like some Sixth Sense shit and that kid was creepy as fuck!” CC yelled at him from across the room. Andy only sighed as he pulled his head up from his knees, his cheeks tear stained as he sniffled loudly.

“I don’t know what that means…” Andy said dumbly and the whole room got very quiet and then burst in to laughter. Andy himself even cracked a smile, but deep in his heart he was sad. Instead of laughing at him-Lily would take the time to explain the reference and then she would laugh at him.

“It’s a movie where this little kid sees ghosts and he goes to a shrink, but by the end of it the shrink realizes that he’s dead and that’s why the little kid can see him…it’s fucking creepy as shit!” CC laughed as he explained it to Andy and the singer only smirked at them all gently. He leaned his head back against the wall behind him, sighing as he closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

“Andy…” Someone called out to him and as Andy cracked open an eye he realized that Jake was sitting on the floor in front of him now, his knees brushing up against Andy’s bent ones as their eyes met.

“Yeah…” Andy said, his voice was low sounding and tear filled. Jake knew that he was going to have to be very careful about how he addressed the singer in this moment because it was obvious that Andy was teetering on a ledge of some sorts.

“We do believe you-we’re just worried is all.” Jake said as he placed a gentle hand on Andy’s knee and watched as the singer processed everything in his mind. They all believed that Lily was watching over them, but to think that she was visiting or that Lattie was somehow back-it was just Andy trying to cope with things in his own way.

“About what? What is there to worry about? Lily would never hurt me…” Andy said, sighing as he remained sitting but looked around at the all the faces that were looking his way. All of the guys had surrounded him, but Jake remained on the floor in front of him.

“We know, but Ash thinks…” Jake stopped as he looked over his shoulder at the bassist who only huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Andy wasn’t a baby-so why were they all treating him like one? Ashley cleared his throat-it was time for some cold hard facts.

“I think Satan his fucking with your head. I don’t think you really saw Lattie and while yes Lily could be looking down on us…all of these sightings you’ve been having…it’s Satan…it’s not really Lily man.” He said all of this in one breath and Ashley watched as Andy’s eyes turned in to mere slits and the singer slowly slid himself up the wall behind him and clenched his fists.

“Watch what you say man…” Andy growled as his fists clenched and unclenched and Jake moved to stand up and place a hand on the agitated singer’s shoulder.

“Andy…calm down. It’s just a theory that Ashley was thinking about…” Jake said, his voice low in Andy’s ear but he didn’t care. Ashley had always hated Lily-always-and Andy wasn’t shocked that the bassist was trying to tarnish her name in Andy’s mind.

“No-this isn’t just a theory…Ash is still very angry that Lily killed his sister and this is his way of getting back at her. It’s. Not. Going. To. Work. Lily was perfect and she was only protecting herself…” Andy sneered, crossing his arms over his chest so that he wasn’t tempted to clock Ashley across the face.

“Andy get the fuck over it! She’s dead man! She’s dead and she isn’t coming back!” Ashley shouted, coming forward slightly, but thankfully CC was able to hold him back by moving in front of him and placing a hand against his chest.

“She is coming back! She has to fucking come back! I can’t fucking stand being around you when she’s not here!” Andy shouted, his voice dangerous as he moved forward and Jake took a page from CC’s book and moved in front of the irate singer.

“Then fucking leave! We don’t fucking need you! The Army doesn’t need some hack commander who is so fucking wrapped up in his own shit that he can’t even fucking function!” Ashley yelled and the room grew silent as everyone just looked between the two best friends.

“Is that really how you feel Ash?” Andy asked as he pushed past Jake and moved towards the back door. It was almost time for soundcheck-they didn’t need this right now…they didn’t have time for this right now.

“Yeah it fucking is…I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how everyone felt at this point Andy!” He shouted and Andy only looked around at the other guys in the room. They were all avoiding his eyes and he knew then that maybe he needed to just go…just go and end it all.

“Fine. See how you guys do tonight without me.” Andy snarled as he broke away from Jake completely. He passed by a small table on his way out and noticed there was a full bottle of Jack sitting on the top.


He grabbed the bottle and turned to give his band and friends one last look before disappearing out the back door of their dressing room. The night was still and Andy said nothing as he cracked open the bottle and took a long swig. His back hit the wall of the building and as he slid down the surface he looked up at the sky. His star was there, but she looked dim and Andy wondered if it was because of what just happened. Fuck it-he didn’t care. They could make it without him. Andy only smirked softly as he brought the bottle to his lips and took another long swig.

This was it-he would sit here and drink himself into oblivion and everyone else could go fuck themselves.

Notes

I know you guys are confused and that's okay-it's not supposed to make sense right now. Over the course of the next few chapters things will begin to fall into place I promise.

The last update before the holidays for this story will be on Wednesday with updates not coming back until the 26th-which is also Andy's birthday *smirks*

Read and review <3

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