We're Setting Worlds On Fire

Lily sighed as she stood outside the bus door, her reflection staring back at her as she puffed out her cheeks and closed her eyes. CC had run off and Lily had chased after him much to Andy’s insistence. She needed to tell CC what happened-everything that had happened to his sister. Slowly she reached out, the cool metal of the door feeling good against her flushed skin as Lily pulled the door open. The bus was silent as she walked up the stairs and Lily felt herself shaking as she looked out over the front lounge. Everything was turned off and dark, but she could just barely see a light on in the back lounge.

Slowly she walked towards the back, walking through the small kitchen and then passing all of the bunks. Ashley’s bunk was overflowing with clothes, a hair dryer, boots and his bass. Jinxx’s bunk was neat and tidy, as was Jake’s. Andy’s bunk was almost as messy as Ashley’s and Lily laughed as she walked past it. Finally she found herself outside of the back lounge door and after taking a few deep breaths; Lily slid the door open and looked inside. What she found made her heart hurt and Lily remembered all over again why she hadn’t wanted her feelings back.

CC was sitting on the couch, his elbows resting on his hands, while his hands were placed on either side of his forehead. He was shaking, his sobs making his entire body uncontrollable and Lily said nothing as she entered the room. He flinched as she sat down beside him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder, her tiny arms wrapping around his sobbing frame. They said nothing and silently they both just sat there for a while, crying and holding one another. They had both lost someone very important in their lives and neither one of them had been prepared to let her go completely.


“I am such a fuck up.” CC said, his voice laced with tears and Lily went completely still. What? She had been the one who had killed Brianne…how was any of this CC’s fault?

“No you aren’t C…” She said, but stopped short as CC moved away from her and looked over at the Angel sitting beside him. Lily had been crying and CC knew that it had hurt her terribly to find Brianne the first time, see her soul captured in Hell and then to have to kill her…

He still felt like everything was his fault.

“Yeah…yeah I am Lily. I left-I left the two of you behind. I left Brianne behind because I couldn’t handle my own shit…I never even realized everything that she was going through.” He wiped at his cheeks, his brown eyes bloodshot and Lily carefully moved closer to him.

“You left because you had to. You were miserable and your parents weren’t getting it. Brianne never blamed you for leaving…she just missed you.” Lily said softly and CC smirked as he looked the Angel right in her beautiful lavender eyes.

“I left because I was scared. My parents were forcing me one way, Brianne was completely messed up at that point and I didn’t know what to do…if I-if I hadn’t of left then maybe things would be different.” He said and Lily knew then that he had probably always blamed himself for his sister’s death.

“Brianne had a ritual that ruled her life-she let it consume her until finally she gave in, but that doesn’t mean you could have done anything to stop it.” Lily said. CC just shook his head and continued to just look her right in the eyes.

“You found her…didn’t you…” He said and Lily only nodded as she looked down at her hands. They were resting in her lap and slowly Lily watched as CC’s large hands moved towards her own and held them tightly.

“What happened Lily? I never…I never knew what happened to Brianne…I didn’t want to hear it.” He explained and Lily’s eyes grew wide as she looked up and faced one of her closest friends. She had never wanted to have this conversation with CC because it was too painful and she knew it would break him.

“Are-are you sure?” She asked and CC only nodded.


Lily took in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she tried to gather her thoughts. That day had been such a blur-Bri had been missing from school for two days and Lily hadn’t heard from her friend which was strange. She had endured school alone those two days-being the object of cruel attention and finally Lily had had enough. She promised herself as she walked down the sidewalk towards the Coma house that she was not going to be without Bri for another day. She never ever could have imagined what she would find…


“Brianne hadn’t been in school for two days. Your parents were out of town and so I thought maybe she had gone with them. But then my mom had said something to me that morning-something about your parents staying longer and had I heard from Bri and was she okay…that’s when I got scared.” Lily started off and CC just looked at her, holding his breath and his tears.

“I went through school that day-since it was just me that day…they were so mean and cruel. Asking me where my freak cutter friend was and had she done the deed yet…it was disgusting. After school I told myself I was going to march right over to your house and pull her out of bed by her hair. I wasn’t going to school alone the next day…I couldn’t be alone again.” Lily was crying now, her tears falling slowly down her cheeks and she knew without looking that CC was crying too.

“Whe-when I got to your house I knocked on the door and when I didn’t get an answer I tried the knob and it was unlocked. As soon as I walked in Pugsley and Wednesday were on me-I ran in to the kitchen and saw that they didn’t have any water. I fed them, gave them water and looked around but there was no sign of Bri.” CC had smiled at the mention of his pet Pug and suddenly he remembered how much he and his sister had loved those dogs.

“I walked upstairs and as I got up to the second floor, I heard music…coming from your room. I remember I got the biggest smile on my face-I thought you had changed your mind, come home and that Bri had been skipping school to hang out with you…I was very wrong.” Lily stopped talking. This was the hard part…the hardest thing she had ever done in her life.

“I opened the door, but didn’t see anyone. There was a song playing-Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance and I listened to it as I looked around your room. Do you remember that pull up bar you had in the door way of your closet?” Lily asked and CC only nodded.

“She had gotten it up into the very top of your closet and that’s where I found her hanging. She had been there for a while-it was…it was really gruesome finding her like that. I remember sobbing as I ran towards her and I-I tried to get her down b-but I-I couldn’t…I couldn’t cut her down…” Lily had covered her face then, sobbing in to her hands and CC was dumbstruck as to what he should do.

“I-um-I called 911 and then went downstairs and sat on your front steps. The cops were there in a matter of minutes; one of the female officers sat down beside me and held me while I cried. I will never forget that day-what I was wearing, what she was wearing…the way her blue eyes shined at me but there was no life in them…” CC was hugging her now and Lily had wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her tiny body against his own.

“I-I never knew why…I mean I can guess and it was pretty obvious. I-I just always thought she would come to me…we were both sad at you leaving, but we still had one another…I-I thought that was enough.” Lily sobbed as she thought back to her best friend.


Brianne had been a cutter-ritualistically almost to a fault and Lily had joined her friend, but she had kept her scars a little more secret. The two girls had shared so much with one another-battle wounds and scars, but more than anything they shared a love for music. CC had always helped them with that-introducing them to new bands and he had even sucked it up and gone to see bands with the girls who he didn’t like very much. The three of them had been very close, but that had stopped when CC had left and moved to LA.


“I can still remember being at your house with your parents after it happened-they wanted me to tell them everything. I got so angry with your mom-she looked right at your dad and said ‘I never knew Brianne was so unhappy…’ how could they not have known?” Lily had stopped crying as she remembered how upset she had been at that.

“Mom was never the most observant person in the world.” CC said, a small smile on his lips and Lily couldn’t help but return it.

“I just wish she had called me…I-I would have come home if I had known you guys were suffering so much.” CC said sadly and Lily grabbed for his hand and squeezed it tightly. She didn’t blame CC for leaving-he didn’t have any other choice.

“What would you have done? Even when you were with us in school…kids picked on us. I-I never knew she was thinking of killing herself…I never thought she would actually do it. I’m sorry CC…I should have known…” Lily said and suddenly she was being pulled into the tightest hug she had ever had. CC said nothing as he just held her there and Lily only smiled.

“It’s not your fault. Brianne always had her secrets…her rituals that she kept to herself. I just wish she had been able to look at things differently and celebrated the good things in life…instead of just dwelling on the bad.” CC said sadly and Lily only nodded. She knew all about dwelling on the bad things in life-she had lasted six months on her own before taking her misery in to her own hands.

“You were always a good brother C-even to me.” Lily said as she broke away from the drummer and then moved to stand up. CC needed to be alone and honestly Lily needed to be by herself as well.

“Thanks-too bad you still don’t have that major crush on me…you turned out to be pretty gorgeous…” CC smirked up at her and Lily only stuck her tongue out at him before leaving the room.


Lily stood outside the door, her back up against the wood and she cried. She cried for so many things in that moment that she could hardly even figure out what was making her sad. Losing Bri, being without her for so long, and finally making the decision to join her, only to find that Brianne had been lost for a long time. Lily stood there and cried and as she stayed where she was, she could hear CC’s gentle sobs from behind the door. They had both lost someone very important in their lives and they had both come to realize that she was truly gone.

Lily had always hoped the Bri would have gone to Heaven, but then when she saw her best friend’s soul there on the River Styx…Lily knew then that it wasn’t meant to be. She had left Bri standing there on that bridge and Lily knew in that moment that she could never look back. She had been given a second chance in life and she couldn’t waste it. Lily uncovered her eyes, jumping slightly as her eyes met Andy’s blue ones and he smiled at her softly. He said nothing as he just brought her to him, holding her against his chest as they both moved to sit on his bunk.


“What happened?” He asked after a while and Lily only sighed as she wiped at her eyes. She hated these emotions-she hated feeling lost and vulnerable again.

“CC and I just needed to talk about Brianne…he needed to know what happened to her.” Lily explained and Andy only nodded. Did she know how precious she looked sitting there? Her knees were curled up against her chest, her hair was sticking to her damp cheeks and she was snuffling her nose in the most adorable way.

“I’m sorry Lily-I know she meant a lot to you.” Andy said and Lily only nodded her head as she rested it against his shoulder. Andy kissed the top of her head, letting his lips linger there for a moment before pulling away.

“Yeah, but she had her rituals and they got the best of her. They get the best of all of us sometimes…” She said and a light bulb went off in Andy’s brain in that moment. Now was not the time, but Andy knew that he had gotten something from Lily’s words.

“You must be exhausted.” Andy said as he kissed her cheek and Lily giggled. She was very tired and more and more she wished she could sleep.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” She said as Lily looked over at Andy and saw that look in his eyes. Constantly he was trying to get her to sleep in his bunk-promising that they would keep their hands to themselves. But she knew that that was going to lead to other things and Lily couldn’t risk it.

“Well we could curl up in my bunk…I’ll even let you choose the movie this time.” Andy teased as he threw back his black and red sheets and then wiggled his eyebrows at Lily. She only shook her head as she kissed his lips lightly and moved to get up.

“I don’t think so…” She said, holding out her hands and laughing as Andy placed a kiss against her knuckles.

“Please?” He begged and Lily only shook her head as she moved to get into her own bunk, but before she shut the curtains, Lily smirked and then called out to Andy.

“Not tonight Andy…not tonight.”

Notes

Lily isn't going to give in to Andy that easily, but fear not for I have a plan.

Want an update on tuesday instead of waiting until wednesday? You know what has to be done...

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