What It Is To Burn

Odessa smiled as she stared at herself in the mirror and pulled her hair back as far as it would go. It was July 14th-they had been on tour for a month and it seemed like so much longer than that. It was hot, they hardly ever got real showers and Dess had been feeling more and more poorly. She wasn’t going to let her sickness-whatever it was-affect her today. Nope today was her and Andy’s two year anniversary, plus she had an interview at her tent and it was a gorgeous day out.

Dess smiled at herself before exiting the bathroom-her blonde hair was up off of her neck and her makeup was minimal but for some reason she found herself in a good mood. They were in Hartford Connecticut today and the air was electric around the bus. Andy’s new look had blown up the internet and he was in a pretty grumpy mood most days-especially if he checked her tumblr or his instagram. Dess was half tempted to take away his phone and laptop, but it hadn’t gotten that bad yet.


“I got my ticket for the long way round. Two bottles of whiskey for the way. And I sure would like some sweet company.And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say. When I’m gone…when I’m gone-you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” Dess sang to herself as she moved down the bunk hall and appeared in the small kitchen. Her coffee was all ready and as she prepared it she kept singing.

“…you’re gonna miss me by my hair…you’re gonna miss me everywhere oh-you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.” She sang and laughed as Jake rolled his eyes at her, turning quickly from his cartoons before he turned back and the volume was raised. Dess only smiled to herself as she sipped at her coffee and moved to sit at the kitchen table.

“Are you seriously still singing that song babe?” Andy asked, his voice grouchy as he appeared in front of her. His Rancid shirt was in tatters and his skinny black jeans needed to be thrown out, but nearing the middle of the tour-none of them really had many options left in regards to clean clothes.

“You love it.” Dess said as she opened the top of her laptop and brought up her schedule document. She had an interview with Rock Sound at 1. Andy had a signing at Tilly’s right around 3 and then the boys would be closing out the night on the KIA Stage at 7. Dess had realized after the first week that Jon was just about useless when it came to keeping a schedule and so Dess had come up with her own format.

“No-none of us like it.” A voice said from behind her and Dess only rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee and looked up into the sunglass covered eyes of Ashley Purdy. He reeked of Jack and beer and Dess wondered to herself if he slept much the night before.

“Fuck off Ash…” Dess grumbled as she finished off her coffee and looked to Andy. He was currently eating a bowl of cereal and ignoring the two of them on purpose. Dess and Ash fought like cats and dogs these days-mostly because Dess was on Kit’s side of things and Ash had a problem with it.

“Only if you offer to be on top of me sweetheart.” Ashley said, his head in the fridge and Dess only scoffed as she slapped her laptop closed and moved to kiss Andy on the mouth.

“I’ve gotta head to the tent to make sure everything is getting set up correctly.” She said and Andy gave her a funny look as she straightened up and smiled down at him.

“Are you forgetting anything babe?” Andy asked as he gave her the once over and Jake only laughed loudly from the couch as he took her in as well. Dess stopped at the bus doors and looked down-uh yeah…pants would probably be a good thing to put on.


She had been doing that more and more these days and Dess only shook her head as she passed Andy on her way back towards their bunk. He smacked her on the ass playfully and she laughed, but to Dess it wasn’t that funny. She was forgetting little things-things that she should remember to do every day-like put pants on or to use milk in her cereal instead of coffee creamer. There were also times where she would just completely forget where she was or what she was doing and it would get so bad that she would have to sit down and take a few deep breaths to keep calm.

Dess only shook her head as she slipped on a pair of shorts and tugged her Toms back on her feet before heading back towards the front. Ashley was sitting in her vacated spot, but she only ignored him as she bent down and kissed Andy once again before heading towards the door. Jinxx and CC were still asleep and right before she stepped down from the bus Dess looked to Andy and smiled.


“Don’t forget you have Tilly’s today. I love you.” With that Dess was down and out of the bus, the sun shining down on her and she felt energized. It was nice getting away from the bus and the drama. She knew that this was bound to happen-they had all been on tour with one another for almost an entire year straight and it was most definitely time for a break.


The kids were out in force today and Dess smiled as she stopped by a few tents on her way, saying hello to the people running them and then she came upon her own wonderful abode. Trish had taken the role of getting everything set in the morning-Toby would always come by and help, but Dess knew it was more because he thought Trish was cute and the young girl had no problem using that to her advantage. Currently Trish was busy folding shirts, her tan legs wobbling as she walked around and Dess wondered if the girl was feeling okay.

She had been spending more and more time on the I See Stars bus and Dess didn’t like it one bit. She wanted Trish to go to school and make something of herself-to be independent so she wouldn’t always have to lean on others to help her out. Dess smiled at the young girl as she entered the tent and sighed as she entered the shade and the early heat of the day somewhat disappeared.

She picked up a few shirts-ones that she had picked out to show off in her interview and Dess smiled as she lovingly folded them right side up and set them to one side on the back table. The girls worked in silence to get everything set and finally at right around noon the tent was fully functional and they were in business. Dess sat in one of the chairs, Trish by her side with her eyes closed and she couldn’t help but take in the scene before her.

Kids of all ages, colors and sizes were passing by, their hair and clothing whipping in the summer wind as they headed off to their desired destination. There were groups of girls that passed them by and Dess knew that Trish had the same thought going through her mind: that used to be me. Dess smiled as she watched them walk by, gossiping and laughing and she wondered what it was like to be sixteen nowadays. It probably still sucked just as much now as it did back then and Dess couldn’t help but smirk to herself.


“Could those girls being wearing any less?” Dess asked as another group of girls walked past them and Trish cracked a small smile and shook her head. The group of girls couldn’t have been more than sixteen and yet they were all running around in shorts that showed their ass cheeks and tops that were no better than bras. Sometimes Dess wore a crop top and a pair of shorts, but no one had ever been able to see her ass cheeks and no one ever would-except Andy.

“That’s the thing these days…” Trish shrugged it off and Dess only shook her head as she look down at the phone in her hands and smirked. There was a text from Kit that had been sent last night-it wasn’t a very nice text.


KitKat: Dude! Really!? Was it necessary to put all of our furniture on the roof of the bus? We were almost late getting off because Justin couldn’t find his first generation Nintendo!
Dessamess: Haha! It was totes necessary dude! It’s not called a prank war for nothing ; )
KitKat: Meh…at least we got off on time though. How’s thangs at the tent going?
Dessamess: Eh-girls these days look like hoes. I don’t remember us wearing shit so far up our ass cracks.
KitKat: I know! Some of these girls that come over to the tent signings-man I don’t know how the fuck they make it out of the house. You feeling any better today?
Dessamess: Right! My dad would have killed me before he let me out of the house dressed like that haha. I’m actually feeling pretty good right now-I’ve got an interview with Rock Sound in a few minutes.
KitKat: Awesome! Well don’t answer any awkward questions-ya know like ‘how is it being Andy’s one and only?’ haha <3
Dessamess: Thanks Kit : /
KitKat: Hey-I love you and Andy loves you…remember that.
Dessamess: Yeah yeah-go get the rest of your furniture off the roof *smirks*
KitKat: *sticks tongue out*


Dess smiled as she placed her phone on the back table and looked out into the crowd once more. There were kids laughing and joking as they passed and Dess felt her smile widen. She, Kit and Beth used to be that way-she and Kit were still that way and the dynamic duo had been enjoying their summer together. Most of their nights were spent on one another’s busses although Dess was on Sleeping’s bus more than Kit was on BVB’s because of Ashley and his ‘tude.

Dess and Kellin had been getting along really well and he had been helping her out with a small project that she had created for herself. Like she needed anything else in her life to make things more complicated, but of course Dess being Dess she had to pile on the responsibility. As she was staring off in to space, a young girl with curly brown hair came in to her line of site and Dess smile. Rock Sound had finally arrived.


“Are you Jessica?” Dess asked as she stood up, pulling her shorts down slightly as the young girl approached with a smile and held out her hand.

“I am! How are you guys doing today?” Jessica asked and Dess smiled as she dropped the girl’s hand and ushered her into the haven that was their tent. There was a breeze today-thank God-but it was still hot under the noon sun.

“We’re doing pretty good.” Dess said and she laughed as Jessica nodded and then began pulling things out of her bag. A camera, which she set up on the tripod she had been carrying, a large microphone which was then plugged into the side of the camera and a small notebook. This girl had probably been a girl scout as a girl.

“It’s hot, but we’re surviving.” Trish laughed as she bent down and pulled out three water bottles from their small cooler.

“Alright, well let’s get started shall we?” Jessica asked as she turned to face the camera and smiled wide. Dess and Trish followed her lead and soon there was a small red light flashing at them.

“Hey guys! This is Jessica from Rock Sound and I am here with Odessa Montgomery and Trish O’Dea from the Misfits Clothing tent here on Warped Tour. How are you guys doing today?” Her voice went from normal to bubbly in seconds and Dess only smiled as she leaned towards the mic and smiled for the camera.

“We’re doing pretty good.” She said and then moved to the side so that Trish could speak.

“It’s freaking hot as anything today.” She smiled wide for the camera and Dess only laughed as she turned to give Trish a look and then went back to smiling at Jessica.

“So how has the tour been so far?” The girl asked and Dess smiled as she leaned in.

“Really awesome! The merch people have become like a second family to us and they have really helped us out, especially all of the guys!” Dess laughed and Trish nodded her head in agreement.

“That’s right-you are the only all female run tent on the tour this summer. Has it been hard not having the comforts of home?” She asked and Dess only smirked-she could hardly even remember what it was like being home.

“It’s been new, especially for Trish. I’ve toured before with my fiancé and so I’m pretty used to the grueling tour life, but it’s been hard for her I think.” Dess said and she smiled as she turned to the small girl sitting to her right.

“Yeah I mean it was hard at first-not showering every day was something to get used to, but we all pretty much stink at this point and we’ve grown to accept it.” Trish laughed as Dess scrunched her nose at the camera and then smiled.

“That’s awesome. So tell me a little bit about your clothing line. A lot of fans want to know where you get all of your art from that is used on the shirts.” Jessica said and Dess bit down on her lip ring before answering. She moved her fingers across her forehead to get the hair out of her face and then she smiled.

“Um well Misfits was started by me in my kitchen at the insistence of my fiancé. I’m a comic artist for DC Comics and I also have my own art that I work on here and there. Well he told me that my art was too awesome and beautiful to be kept to myself and him so he suggested that I start a shirt line.” Dess explained with a smile.

“So all of the shirts are designed by you?” Jessica asked and Trish only nodded as if to say ‘well they sure as shit aren’t done by me because I can hardly draw a stick figure’.

“Yeah. I-um-I went through all of my sketch books and picked some of the art I liked the best and then we sent it off to this company called T-Shirt Freedom and they produced everything for me. It’s been a really awesome experience.” Dess said and she smiled a bright smile-this interviewing stuff could be fun when the right questions were asked.

“Awesome, so do you girls have a favorite tour experience you want to share with our viewers?” Jessica asked and Dess turned to Trish and smiled signaling for the younger girl to go ahead.

“Um well the entire thing has been awesome. I’m pretty young and I was coming to this tour just last summer myself. Also the fact that I’m sharing a bus and touring with one of my absolute favorite bands-it’s been a dream come true.” Trish said and she leaned over to wrap her skinny arms around Dess. Trish knew that if it weren’t for Dess inviting her that none of this would be happening right now.

“What about you Dess?” Jessica asked and Dess had to think about it for a second. The entire tour had been incredible-being with Andy every day. Seeing him perform every day and seeing Kit on a daily basis had been awesome. Suddenly it came to her and Dess smiled wickedly as she looked into the camera.

“Uh-well my best friend is the tour manager for Sleeping With Sirens and so I’ve been around those guys a lot lately. One of the guys on our bus and I have actually started a prank war between their bands and it’s made the whole tour hilarious and fun.” Dess said and Jessica laughed and looked down at her notebook. Here it comes-the Black Veil Brides questions.

“That sounds like a blast. Now where do you get your inspiration from for your art?” She asked and Dess felt relieved-maybe this interview actually would just be about her and her projects instead of going down the BVB Road.

“Um, well mostly just from life or from things that I’m feeling. I actually lost my sister over a year ago and a lot of the shirts were inspired by her or our feelings at her loss. The name of the line, Misfit, is actually to honor her in a way since that was my nickname for her.” Dess explained and Jessica looked at the girls with a sad smile.

“I’m really sorry to hear that. So-um-to lighten the mood I have a game for us to play.” Jessica said as she pulled her notebook off the table in front of them and now it was settled in her lap.

“Okay.” Dess said, a bemused smirk on her lips and Trish was also smiling. Dess was really enjoying this interview and she was happy that they had stayed away from the obvious questions.

“Okay, so I’m going to say a phrase and you only have a few seconds to come up with one word that fits the phrase.” Jessica explained and Dess and Trish both nodded their understanding.

“Every day I wake up and I have to have my…” Jessica said and Dess knew immediately what she wanted to say.

“Coffee.”

“Toothbrush.” Trish said right after and the girls both smiled at one another.

“I could never come on this tour without my…”

“Fiancé.”

“Laptop.”

“My favorite piece of clothing is my…”

“Boots…which I fucking miss by the way…” Dess said as she looked down at her Tom covered feet and sighed. She loved her boots-all fifteen pairs of them, but they didn’t work for rainy or hot days on Warped Tour.

“T-shirt collection.” Trish laughed and all of the girls smiled as the game came to an end and Jessica cleared her throat. Dess looked out in front of them and noticed that the flow of kids had slowed and she knew it was because some of the bigger bands had finally made it to the stages that they were playing on.

“So what has been your least favorite part of the tour?” She asked and Dess had to take a minute to think things over. The heat sucked, not showering sucked, being sick sucked-she couldn’t just pick one thing.

“Well for me it would be not seeing my family and friends every day. Dess has really become like a big sister to me and the guys are like my brothers, but there’s just something about being around your family.” Trish offered up and Dess smiled as she reached over and hugged the younger girl around the shoulders.

“Um I’ve been feeling really sick this entire tour. I go from having sinus infections to the stomach flu. I usually wake up with a headache every morning, but what can you do?” Dess joked it off, even though she could see that Trish wanted to open her mouth and say something but thankfully she didn’t.

“That’s terrible. I hope you start feeling better-I know a lot of the bands I’ve talked to today have said that at least one person on their bus has been sick almost the entire tour.” Jessica said and Dess only laughed and raised her hand and waved at the camera.

“I would be that one person on our bus.” She laughed and Jessica smiled and looked down at her notebook. Dess recrossed her legs and took a sip from her bottle of water, setting in back on the table as she looked to Jessica for the next question.

“Now I know you’ll probably hate these next questions but they were sent in by fans and there’s only a few of them…” Jessica said, her tone apologetic and Dess knew what was coming.

“Fire away.” Dess said as she bit down on her lip ring and focused on keeping her irritation in check.

“Now you aren’t just touring with any band this summer-can you explain the situation about who you are touring with and why?” She asked and Dess sighed. It was a fair enough question and Trish seemed to take a back seat on this one-it was all up to Odessa.

“Uh yeah. We are sharing a bus with the band Black Veil Brides and the reason is that my fiancé is Andy Biersack, which I’m sure most of you know him as the lead singer.” Dess said, smirking in to the camera as Trish giggled from beside her.

“Now I heard a rumor that today is your anniversary with him. Is that right?” She asked and Dess felt a blush creep up her neck as she smiled and looked at Jessica.

“That’s true. He and I met-on Warped Tour-two years ago to the day. It’s been crazy but I love him.” Dess said simply and Jessica smiled as she looked down at her notebook and then back up.

“That’s so cute. It must be pretty crazy dating someone so famous.” Jessica said and Dess felt herself exhale a breath of relief. That stupid question had yet to be asked thankfully and it was making this part of the interview much more enjoyable.

“Uh yeah-especially at first. His fans were none too happy when he and I got together, but it seems like now they’ve embraced us and I get a lot of girls coming up to me and it shocks me when they ask for my picture before they ask for his.” Dess laughed as she tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

“Now there has been some drama recently over a change in his hair. What do you have to say to all of those haters out there?” Jessica asked and Dess smiled as she turned to the camera and leaned forward a bit.

“All I have to say is that people need to get over it and grow up. He changed his hair-it’s his hair! He’s still the same Andy that he’s always been and he will continue to be that same guy who he was three years ago. People change-they grow up and they want to change the way they look every once and a while.” Dess said, her voice calm but her eyes were on fire as she just stared in to the camera and then smiled softly before turning towards Jessica.

“A very good point. Now what about those people out there who think you had something to do with him changing things up?” She asked and Dess only smiled once again as she took a deep breath.

“I mean I didn’t even know he was doing it until he walked out of the bathroom! My jaw hit the floor when he came out and I saw that not only was his hair much shorter but it was also no longer black! So I mean I really couldn’t of had anything to do with it because I didn’t even know it was happening.” She laughed and Jessica smiled as she looked down and then back up.

“Alright last question: Will you guys be joining Warped Tour next summer?” Dess felt herself sigh in relief-she had avoided that stupid question that always popped up. Even though they did talk about Andy and the guys-it was more about the clothing line and themselves which made Dess very happy.

“Um-I don’t know. My wedding is in October and then the guys are touring all through the fall and winter-so I guess maybe? If anything it may be Trish and some other girls who I’m looking to bring on, but it may not be me.” Dess said as she looked to Trish and the younger girl only smiled.

“I would love to come out again next summer, but it’s all up to the boss here.” The younger girl said and Jessica only smiled as she turned towards the camera and waved.

“Well guys there you have it-this is Jessica reporting from Vans Warped Tour and thanks for watching!” She said in a chipper voice as the red light on the camera turned off and Dess felt herself relax.

“Thank you girls so much for meeting with me! It was really awesome and I hope you get to feeling better!” Jessica said as she moved around to pack everything up and Dess stood up, stretching her arms above her head.


Dess and Trish bid Jessica goodbye and the day went on like normal. Mostly the girls sat around and waited for people to come up and look around. Dess was still feeling pretty good, but her stomach had been bothering her all morning and she wasn’t sure why. Trish had taken a break, leaving Dess all to herself, but thankfully they were right next to another shirt tent and so Dess spent a good while talking with some of the people who were manning that tent. She sometimes wished that she was on a different bus-Dess had heard that some of the merch busses were the most fun and she felt like she was missing out.

She loved Andy and the guys, but here lately they all seemed to be living in a very stressed out environment. Dess knew it was mostly because of Andy and Ashley clashing over stupid things like set lists and who would get in to the bathroom first thing in the morning. Dess only shook her head as she moved around and started to fold things up. She looked down at her phone and saw that it was almost four and Andy would probably be heading back from his signing at Tilly’s.

Suddenly there was a young girl running towards her and while seeing girls running around the venue wasn’t abnormal-this girl seemed different. She was crying, her blonde hair flying around her face as she rushed over and Dess felt her heart stop. Had something happened? Had someone tried to hurt her? The girl was now standing in front of Dess, the tears running down her cheeks leaving black marks as her makeup was dragged down her face. She wore a pair of shorts and a black Batman t-shirt and she just kept pointing a finger at Dess as she mumbled incoherently.

In short order Dess had gotten the girl back behind the front table and had sat her down in one of the chairs. She pulled out a bottle of water for the girl-it was so hot and Dess was worried that maybe the girl was suffering from heat exhaustion. Finally the girl seemed to calm down and Dess got down on her level and looked the girl straight in her blue eyes.


“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Dess asked the girl, placing a hand on each shoulder and the girl only looked up at her with tear filled eyes.

“I-I’m okay. Sorry…” The girl mumbled, running a shaking hand through her tangled blonde hair as she averted her eyes down towards the ground.

“Don’t be sorry, I just want to make sure you’re okay. What happened to make you cry like that?” Dess asked as she took Trish’s seat and noticed that the girl before her looked familiar. It hit her-this girl who couldn’t be more then seventeen looked hauntingly like Moira and Dess felt her heart stop.

“Th-this is so embarrassing, but I am a huge fan and when I saw you I just felt this wave of emotion come over me.” The girl said and she looked down at her sneaker clad feet and Dess smiled. Andy’s fans were always coming up to her-none of them sobbing, but they always liked to say hi and to ask how Andy was doing that day.

“Well I’m sure Andy would love to hear that you’re such a fan. Are you going to their set later tonight?” Dess said and she was taken back as the girl raised her head and gave her a funny look. She was only trying to make conversation with the poor girl as she tried to calm down.

“I’m not a fan of his! I-I mean I like their music and all but I freaked out because I’m such a huge fan of yours…” The girl explained with a small smile and Dess felt shocked. She had her fans-but they mostly only came out when she was at comic conventions. This was Warped Tour-a place where music ran the gambit and people like her were second class citizens when it came to the bands.

“O-oh. I-I didn’t realize.” Dess smiled as the girl sniffled and then looked off over the crowds. She looked so much like Moira sitting there that it was giving Dess goose bumps.

“It’s okay. I know you must get a lot of girls who only know you because of Andy, but I’ve loved your work since I was a kid. Your comics made me want to become an artist-I’m actually starting my first semester at art school this fall. I-I was hoping to see you today so that I could thank you for inspiring me so much.” The girl said and suddenly Dess had her arms around this tiny girl that was sitting next to her. She had been feeling so lost lately-not knowing who she was anymore and here this girl was telling Dess that she was her number one inspiration.

“That is so awesome! I’m glad you stopped by…” Dess said as she pulled away and the girl brought out of her purse one of the most recent issues of Batman and held it out in front of her.


Dess gladly signed the girl’s comic-finding out that her name was Meagan and she was eighteen and loved all things Batman and Disney. The two of them talked for a while until finally Meagan said she had to go head over to the Monster stage to see some band play. Dess waved her off, wishing her good luck with art school in the fall and everything grew quiet. She sat there, her hands folded in her lap and Dess couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. A fan of hers-not Andy’s-but Dess’ and she felt over the moon about that.

Dess loved the fans, but she was growing tired of only being known for one thing-Andy. As she looked out over the crowds her smile grew and Dess knew that the rest of the day was going to be a good day. Once Trish got back Dess would head out and catch the boys set and then she would come back, take everything down and they would all pack up and head out to the next venue.


“Hey Dess…” Trish said as she entered the tent and Dess turned to the girl with a smile on her face. She wanted to tell Trish everything but Trish spoke up before she got the chance.

“I-um…you might want to head over to the bus.” Trish’s voice was guarded as she looked to the older girl and Dess felt her heart sink. Something was wrong. Something had happened.

“Why?” Dess asked as she stood up and grabbed her phone off of the front table. Oh God-something had happened to Winnie or the house…had something happened to Andy’s parents? A million things ran through her mind as Dess looked to Trish who only looked at her with a sad look on her face.

“Just go Dess…” Trish said as she sat down and Dess now towered over the young girl.

“Trish!” Dess yelled and the young girl winced as she looked up at her friend and fill-in-older-sister.

“Ash and Andy are about to kill one another…” Was all the girl said and Dess was off running.


She knew this was bound to happen-the singer and bassist had been at one another for weeks now and finally it was coming to a head. Dess only hoped as she dodged around people that she would be in time to prevent the worst from happening.

An all out war.

Notes

What could they be fighting over? Time will only tell...and we shall see if the band survives.

Review<3 (lots of reviews=Brandie updating this much quicker)

What It Is To Burn Tumblr