Bound By Love
It's All Coming Back To Me
Andy
It had been a week and Bill still was in the hospital. They admitted him to the psych ward because in the week he was here he tried numerous times to commit suicide. He was just so depressed. He cried all the time and he never looked at me. He was making progress and then those sadistic perverts had to go and ruin it. I was sitting in his room and he was just silently crying to himself on his bed.
"Bill, I want to make you smile again so badly but I don't know what to do?" He didn't even turn to look at me. He just sniffled and wiped his face. I don't know what happened in that room but whatever it was it tore him apart.
"Please just look at me. You don't have to say anything. Just show me that you love me."
"You're just as bad as Gordon and Jorg. You only want something from me that'll benefit you."
"That's not true. I want you to smile again and I want you to rejoice in life again. I want you to see that everything I do, I do for you."
"Andy, I want to trust you but I can't. Those three weeks showed me that no one cares about me. That I am nothing but a play thing for people."
"Bill, I love you. I want the best for you. I don't care about myself. When you were gone I was a wreck. I had no one to hold and I kept thinking what if they hurt him. I would die if something like this ever happens again because I hold you dear to me. I love you, Bill." He looked at me.
"Is that your sad attempt at trying to romance me so we'll have sex? You love me? That's a cruel joke." He turned away from me again and I felt the lump in my throat.
"You don't think I love you? You think all I want is sex? Bill, I am not your father or Gordon. I have been there for you. I opened up to you and I never do that. I, for the first time in my life, felt that I was obligated to care for someone other than myself. I would never hurt you like those perverts did. I would only soothe you, comfort you, hold you, cuddle you, and most importantly love you. Don't put me in the same bucket as those sick perverts because I am not like them. I would never force you to do anything, I would never put a hand on you to harm you. Bill, open your eyes and realize for once that not everyone is out to hurt you. Whatever happened to me being the one good thing in your life?" He looked at me again.
"Andy, I am not about to give my heart up because you speak sweet words to me. I have given my heart up enough and it is always broken and you won't be any different." He snapped. I just held my tongue and got up.
"Fine if that's how you feel. I'm leaving, call me when you realize I am not a sick pervert that only wants you for sex."
Bill
Why did I lash out on him? He loves me, what's wrong with me? I watched him leave and I wrapped my arms around me body. Why did I feel so cold? Why couldn't I find a warm feeling that I usually got around him? Why did I feel so lonely? How could I just sit here and say that? Why was I feeling so cruel? How could I even be so cruel to him? He loved me, I loved him. I searched frantically for my phone but then I just got up and flung the door open. He was still there.
"ANDY!!" I shouted. He turned around and I smiled. I ran right to him and his arms wrapped around me. When he touched me like this and when I held him like this. It felt so naturally. The warm feeling started bubbling in my stomach. His strong arms around my body felt so so good and I was in love. I felt like there was nothing that could change that. No one could take this feeling from me.
"I love you Andy. I live and breath for you. Please don't you ever leave me."
"Bill, I would never leave you. Even if you paid me I'd still be there to hold you and protect you. I love you Bill." I looked up at him and we kissed. But not like when my father kissed me this kiss was warm and passionate and it was filled with his love. For once in my life, I felt loved. The feeling of life was slowly coming back to me and I found my new purpose to live.
Andy.
It had been a week and Bill still was in the hospital. They admitted him to the psych ward because in the week he was here he tried numerous times to commit suicide. He was just so depressed. He cried all the time and he never looked at me. He was making progress and then those sadistic perverts had to go and ruin it. I was sitting in his room and he was just silently crying to himself on his bed.
"Bill, I want to make you smile again so badly but I don't know what to do?" He didn't even turn to look at me. He just sniffled and wiped his face. I don't know what happened in that room but whatever it was it tore him apart.
"Please just look at me. You don't have to say anything. Just show me that you love me."
"You're just as bad as Gordon and Jorg. You only want something from me that'll benefit you."
"That's not true. I want you to smile again and I want you to rejoice in life again. I want you to see that everything I do, I do for you."
"Andy, I want to trust you but I can't. Those three weeks showed me that no one cares about me. That I am nothing but a play thing for people."
"Bill, I love you. I want the best for you. I don't care about myself. When you were gone I was a wreck. I had no one to hold and I kept thinking what if they hurt him. I would die if something like this ever happens again because I hold you dear to me. I love you, Bill." He looked at me.
"Is that your sad attempt at trying to romance me so we'll have sex? You love me? That's a cruel joke." He turned away from me again and I felt the lump in my throat.
"You don't think I love you? You think all I want is sex? Bill, I am not your father or Gordon. I have been there for you. I opened up to you and I never do that. I, for the first time in my life, felt that I was obligated to care for someone other than myself. I would never hurt you like those perverts did. I would only soothe you, comfort you, hold you, cuddle you, and most importantly love you. Don't put me in the same bucket as those sick perverts because I am not like them. I would never force you to do anything, I would never put a hand on you to harm you. Bill, open your eyes and realize for once that not everyone is out to hurt you. Whatever happened to me being the one good thing in your life?" He looked at me again.
"Andy, I am not about to give my heart up because you speak sweet words to me. I have given my heart up enough and it is always broken and you won't be any different." He snapped. I just held my tongue and got up.
"Fine if that's how you feel. I'm leaving, call me when you realize I am not a sick pervert that only wants you for sex."
Bill
Why did I lash out on him? He loves me, what's wrong with me? I watched him leave and I wrapped my arms around me body. Why did I feel so cold? Why couldn't I find a warm feeling that I usually got around him? Why did I feel so lonely? How could I just sit here and say that? Why was I feeling so cruel? How could I even be so cruel to him? He loved me, I loved him. I searched frantically for my phone but then I just got up and flung the door open. He was still there.
"ANDY!!" I shouted. He turned around and I smiled. I ran right to him and his arms wrapped around me. When he touched me like this and when I held him like this. It felt so naturally. The warm feeling started bubbling in my stomach. His strong arms around my body felt so so good and I was in love. I felt like there was nothing that could change that. No one could take this feeling from me.
"I love you Andy. I live and breath for you. Please don't you ever leave me."
"Bill, I would never leave you. Even if you paid me I'd still be there to hold you and protect you. I love you Bill." I looked up at him and we kissed. But not like when my father kissed me this kiss was warm and passionate and it was filled with his love. For once in my life, I felt loved. The feeling of life was slowly coming back to me and I found my new purpose to live.
Andy.
@Purdy's_little_lady_outlaw there's a sequel called Fond Memories
5/6/14