Amazingly enough all five band members, plus Dess and Sammi made it to the airport on time and were now sitting at their almost empty gate. Andy had been near impossible to wake up, he was never a morning person and it was even harder for Dess this time because it wasn’t even light out when they had to be up and out the door. She had managed to get him up though and she could tell he was still a little tired as his eyes had yet to completely open and he was still grumbling to himself softly. He had distanced himself from everyone, including her and Dess just shrugged it off as she moved over to sit next to Sammi and Jinxx while they waited for their flight. He could be such a diva.


“Wanna sit with me? Jinxx wouldn’t mind switching seats to sit with Mr. Cranky Pants over there.” Sammi asked as Dess smiled and moved forward in the line to board the plane.

“Sounds good to me. I learned my lesson from the last tour I went on with him…I will be giving him as much space as possible until he’s ready.” Both girls laughed as they handed over their tickets and moved forward. Dess laughed, but was it really funny? She didn’t like that Andy could be so closed off and their conversation from the night before still rang in her ears.


One by one the group made it on to the plane and found their seats. Sammi had a short conversation with Jinxx when he had approached the two girls and he seemed to understand and looked down at Dess, winking before he walked towards the front to sit next to Andy. Dess was seated by the window, her head laying back against her seat as she listened to the heavily accented safety spiel that was coming over the loud speakers. She looked out through the triple paned glass and watched as their bags were being loaded into the bottom of the plane. Sammi was sitting next to her, playing some game on her phone quickly before they would have to shut everything off. This twelve hour flight was going to be very long and Dess could only hope that she would sleep through most of it.

Forty minutes later and they were up in the air and Dess was able to get her iPod out, leaving one ear bud out on the side that Sammi was on so that the two girls could chat if they wanted to. Dess felt herself zoning in and out, her eyes scanning towards the front of the plane to see what Andy was up to. He seemed to be talking with Jinxx quietly and every once and awhile he would look back at her, his blue eyes curious before he would snap his head back around to face the front. She loved Andy, but Dess had also really loved Moira and look how that turned out. Maybe Dess was poison? Everyone she loved and cared about seemed to disappear from her life and it scared her. Losing her dad and then Moira had been beyond painful, could Dess stand to lose Andy as well?


“Hey-uh-Sammi? Can I talk to Dess for a minute?” Dess turned her head, her thoughts broken as she saw Andy standing there, his feet shuffling back and forth like a five year old as he looked down at the two girls.

“Sure. I’ll be back Dessa…be nice.” She whispered to Andy as Sammi got up and moved over to sit next to Jinxx. Dess just looked up at him, sighing heavily she reached over and patted her hand against Sammi’s now vacated seat.

“Hey babe.” He said simply as Andy moved to sit down and took her hands in his. His fingers ran over hers softly, Dess could feel the calloused skin against hers and it made her shiver slightly.

“Hey.” Her answer was short and pointed. Dess could tell that Andy was nervous, he kept biting down on his lip ring and she could feel his hands trembling underneath hers slightly. What did he have to be nervous about? Guilty conscience maybe?

“Why don’t you want to sit with me?” He sounded hurt and sad and Dess looked up at him. His blue eyes held a look of utter devastation in them and suddenly Odessa felt bad. But thinking back to how he had not only acted this morning but the last time they had started a tour together, Dess felt her resolve rise and she looked him right in the eyes.

“You know why I don’t want to sit with you babe. You’ve been crabby ever since I woke you up this morning. You were like this the last tour and I’m sorry, but I want to have fun this time around…” She stopped there and took in a deep breath. Andy’s eyes grew dark at her confession and Odessa felt her anger bubble in her stomach ever so slightly.

“You think I wouldn’t let you have fun? Babe all I’ve been talking about is making sure that you have a good time…” She could hear the hurt and aggravation in his voice and as she looked over at Andy, Dess mentally slapped herself for even bringing any of this up right now. He needed to focus on this tour and she needed to get her anger under control and this conversation wasn’t helping either one of them.

“Just go sit back with Jinxx Andy and don’t worry about this right now.” Dess clenched her teeth, her words coming out in a hiss as Andy looked over at her with wide eyes. She had never been this way with him before and Andy felt something in him crumble as he moved to get up and looked down at her.

“You’ve got something boiling deep inside you Dess. You need to let it out before it boils over and destroys everything in your life.” He said this as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before he walked off to sit back down with Jinxx. What the fuck? How dare he? Dess felt her fists form into balls and she tried to take a few deep breaths.

“You okay girl?” A voice said from above her and Dess looked up to see Sammi looking down at her hesitantly. The older girl moved to sit back down and Dess turned her head back towards the window-too ashamed at her own behavior to even look at Sammi in this moment.

“Yeah. Yeah I’ll be okay.” Dess sniffed her tears away and finally looked over at Sammi. Her light blue eyes were kind as they looked Dess over as Sammi reached out a small hand and grabbed for Dess’.

“Don’t stress about it right now Dessa. Andy can be an ass-we all know this. He can especially be a huge ass when their tours first start.” Dess only nodded, but she bit down on her lip and felt the tears come to her eyes once again. Andy wasn’t the problem-Odessa Annmarie Montgomery was the problem.

“It’s not him Sam…it’s me.” Dess admitted and suddenly she felt as if this weight had been lifted. Her eyes spilled over with tears at this admission and Dess just let them flow as Sammi looked on, shock lacing her delicate features.

“Oh sweets. Don’t you dare blame yourself for his behavior. Andy-“ She was cut off by Dess, who had let out a loud huff and had smacked her hand roughly against the back of her own seat.

“It is me Sammi. I-I’m so…so very angry. All the time I feel this anger within me, threatening to come bubbling up and Andy can tell. I know he knows Sam.” She sobbed this softly, her voice fierce and hushed as Sammi just looked on and reached over to pat her back soothingly.

“What are you so angry about sweets?” Sammi asked, her small hand reaching for Dess’ as she looked the younger girl in the eyes. There was so much pain there, rightfully so as Sammi knew what Dess had just been through with her younger sister.

“Everything.” It came out as a sigh, her cheeks puffing out as Dess looked over at Sammi. The older blonde was just sitting there looking at her, her thin eyebrows raised and Dess felt a wave of embarrassment over take her suddenly.

“Moira. I’m so angry and pissed off about her death…” Dess sighed again, running her free hand through her hair to get her bangs out of her face and then she felt the tears begin to fall down her cheeks once again. God-she was so fucking tired of crying every single day of her life.

“Well that’s normal…everyone is angry when they lose someone.” Sammi reasoned and Dess just shook her head sadly.

“I’m angry at people. My father. He left us and I don’t think I could ever forgive him for that. My mother-she just let my sister die and then tarnished her memory by getting rid of the only home that Moira knew. I hate God right now…that bastard took the one person in my life who I could always lean on.” Dess looked up at Sammi and saw that the other girl had tears glistening in her own eyes as Dess inhaled a deep breath.

“Andy.” She said simply and saw Sammi look at her questioningly.

“Andy makes you angry?” She asked and all Dess could do was nod.

“I get so angry with him and I can feel this rage boil within me. I-I think I’m angry that he couldn’t save her. He saves people every day with his music, but he couldn’t save his biggest fan from something so terrible.” Dess felt the shame splash across her face and she stiffened as she felt Sammi wrap her arms around her and soon both girls were crying softly.


After a few minutes of silent crying Sammi moved away and held Dess out at arms length. She looked her in the eyes, light blue to moss green and Sammi could see the hate and anger shine back at her from Dess. Saying nothing, Sammi smiled over at the girl before getting up and heading back to the bathroom. Odessa didn’t want to be left alone right now, she was afraid of what she might do and what she might say. Quickly Sammi returned, a few tissues held in her fingers and she offered them to Dess. She tried to salvage her makeup, but Dess knew that it was a lost cause and so she crumbled up the used tissues and looked over at Sammi.


“Do you think I’m selfish?” Dess asked quietly, her fingers playing with a bracelet that sat on her wrist and Sammi just smiled weakly.

“I think everyone has their crazy moments. I don’t think this is crazy-I think that you are a lonely, lost and broken person who needs to come forward and tell the love of her life how she feels. Andy’s smart, but he’s fucking stupid when it comes to the emotions of others.” Sammi smiled and Dess couldn’t help but smirk as she looked over the top of their seats and could just make out the top of his head.

“I don’t know if I can Sam. I don’t want this to push him away.” Dess admitted sadly and she knew that it was going to have to come out sooner rather than later.

“If you didn’t push him away this past year with all of your back and forthing-I’m pretty sure he can handle this Dess. If not then you guys are going to have to make some hard choices.” Sammi laid a hand on her shoulder and the two girls lapsed into a soft silence.


Dess sat there, her eyes blurry and vacant as she slipped her ear buds in and got lost in the music that was playing. No Black Veil Brides. It was still too painful to listen to them and it was near impossible to not think of Moira. Maybe that’s why Dess was having such a hard time-being around the five people her sister loved most and she was being constantly reminded of her. She wanted to talk to Andy, but they had a show later today and he couldn’t be distracted thinking of her problems. Sighing Dess pulled out her regular sketch book and flipped through the pages.

All of her recent sketches were sad, depicted sadness or anger, but Odessa knew that this was her therapy in a certain way. Moira was dead. This was a fact and Dess knew she would always feel a slight anger at her sister’s passing. It was fair to be angry at God and her mother, especially her mother, but Dess just couldn’t shake the anger she felt towards Andy. He had been there with her, had been there to say goodbye and yet he had so quickly moved on from his sadness. Why couldn’t she do the same? Why was Dess left alone to wallow in her own misery while he moved on?

Snapping her book closed, Dess shut her eyes and tried to sleep without dreaming. She loved Andy, but could their love help her move past her devastation? Or would Andy let her sink lower and lower until finally Dess drowned and all would be lost?
The flight continued on and Dess just sat there next to Sammi. The girls joked and laughed every once in a while until finally Sammi fell asleep. There was no sleeping for Dess and she just looked out the window and watched the clouds pass them by. She didn’t know it, but the sun was going to come popping out of the clouds with the band’s show later that night.

Notes

Why is Dess so angry? What's going to happen on this tour? Review to find out!

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