Can you see me?
Chapter 16
-Drive into the stake, secrets of his "compassion"
A perfect escape, like hell you'll list your reasons-
"Andy. I want to break up."
Andy looks over at me, his eyes full of confusion. "What?"
"I can't do this." I sigh, sitting on my bed and grabbing one of my stuffed animals. He makes his way over to the bed, his hands grasping mine before I can pull them away. I still feel electricity pulsing through me at his touch but the sexual monster in front of me is not someone I can love.
"Baby-"
"Don't call me that Andy. I'm done." I mumble, hearing his sigh. "There's nothing you can do Andy, there's nothing I'm going to let you do."
His lips capture mine into a soft kiss that makes fireworks explode in my stomach. His hands grip my waist as he pulls me closer, onto his lap.
Do I really want to let this go?
Yes. I can't deal with his need for sex. I bet he's already cheated on me with some other girl.
He whispers in my ear, "Indiana, I think I'm in love with you."
Andy gives me no time to process his words before his lips land on mine again. I moan as Andy rubs his harness against my crotch, maybe I need him too?
Maybe I should give him a night and see if I still don't want this. Only we would know, it's not like he would tell anyone if I asked him not to.
"Andy." I whisper, pulling away. "Are your parents going to be home tonight?"
He shakes his head, smiling a bit. He knows what I'm thinking.
What the hell am I thinking?
No.
"Good. now get out of my house and go find some other girl to fuck tonight." I snap. He gasps, surprised at my comment. I nod, "that's right."
"Indie, I don't want some other girl. I want you, no one else. Indiana, I love you."
Words.
That's all they are, words. They are thrown around carelessly too much.
"I don't love you Andy. Sometimes you have to respect a girl's boundaries. I've been telling you this the whole- well week we've been together. Get out of my face and out of my house." I feel anger bubbling up inside of me as he sits there dumbfounded at my coming outrage.
"I didn't fucking want you to get me drunk! I never wanted you to fucking finger me! Andy didn't even want to smoke! You are a bastard. You manipulate people- girls specifically, to do what you want. You are an asshole and I never want to see you again."
I hear a smack and a tingling sensation on my cheek. Andy is fuming and his palm is raised, threatening to strike again.
"Bitch." He spits. "I could have anyone and I chose you. Now you better fucking be grateful for that or I swear you will-"
"You hit me." I whisper, my shock registering as Andy snarls.
"You hit me."
His raised hand suddenly connects with my face again, I cry out in pain, hoping someone is home.
"You're a whore." He mutters as I scramble off his lap and grab for my phone.
"Get out of my house or I call the police."
He flips me off while getting his clothes back on, storming down the stairs with a final, "fuck you." slamming the door behind him. I pull out a cigarette and watch him get in his car from the window of my room. He doesn't leave for another hour, just sitting there, thinking I guess. He's probably thinking about how proud he is for standing up to me. Phsyco.
At three o'clock Catherine pulls into the driveway, a few minutes after Andy finally left. I've smoked a pack of cigarettes already, the air in my room is so clouded with smoke I think that it would be toxic. Catherine bursts into my room a few minutes later- luckily alone. She begins a coughing fit until I turn away from the window with my tear stained cheeks.
"Indie girl, what happened?" She asks, engulfing me into a hug. I sigh, "we broke up."
"Aww, I'm sorry Indiana. We all have to go through it though. Do you want me to get some ice cream from downstairs and we can talk about it?" She asks, rubbing my back. I nod.
A minute or two later she returns with two spoons and a gallon sized tub of ice cream. I take one and immediately start digging in, joining her on the floor with my cigarettes and lighter right by my side.
"So lets talk about it then." She smiles slightly, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. I nod, finishing my spoon of ice cream and saying, "well he was manipulating me into doing more sexual stuff than I wanted. That's why I broke up with him."
"What do you mean?" She asks, scooting closer, "you're still a virgin, right?"
"Yes, of course. But I never wanted him to feel me up. I didn't say it was okay for him to finger me or walk in the bathroom while I was naked."
"What?!" She exclaims, "he did that! What a pig!"
"That's not all, he kept trying to convince me to sleep with him- like have sex. I wanted a friendship, not a friends with benefits but pretend we're dating type thing. Just now he was here with me and we were doing our dumb photography project and he walked in the bathroom while I was changing, naked. I kicked him out after he made out with me for a bit and I decided to end it. I came out and he was luckily wearing pants and I broke up with him, he told me he loves me and kissed me- then- then I wouldn't take him back so he-" I let out a sob. "Then he hit me!"
She engulfs me into a hug, letting me cry on her shoulder until she decides to call her friends and that we need a sleepover together. I look at my phone in the middle of the sleepover which I am surprisingly having a lot of fun during, to find that Andy had texted me constantly throughout the day.
Andy: I'm sorry I snapped like that. I love you indie, I never meant to hurt you. I promise that I will never ever do that again, I won't push you.
Andy: indie, please call me back.
Andy: baby, I love you. I don't want to let you go.
Andy: Indiana, don't leave me like this. I don't think I can live without you. I'm really sorry. I never meant anything I said. You're beautiful and I love you so much.
Andy: please text me back. I need to know you're alright.
"Look at what this bastard sent me." I groan, tossing my phone onto the middle of the bed we are all sitting on. Shelby picks it up and scoffs. "You know, I've been seeing Andy for a while, on and off and then he met you and just ditched me. I'm sorry I've been a bitch. He's the asshole, not you."
I smile at her appreciatively, what chloe says next doesn't surprise me.
"When you stormed out of the hot tub I had just gotten in and he made a move on me and Hanna."
We keep talking for the whole night, bashing my first ex and eating ice cream. My first sleepover with my new friends.
A perfect escape, like hell you'll list your reasons-
"Andy. I want to break up."
Andy looks over at me, his eyes full of confusion. "What?"
"I can't do this." I sigh, sitting on my bed and grabbing one of my stuffed animals. He makes his way over to the bed, his hands grasping mine before I can pull them away. I still feel electricity pulsing through me at his touch but the sexual monster in front of me is not someone I can love.
"Baby-"
"Don't call me that Andy. I'm done." I mumble, hearing his sigh. "There's nothing you can do Andy, there's nothing I'm going to let you do."
His lips capture mine into a soft kiss that makes fireworks explode in my stomach. His hands grip my waist as he pulls me closer, onto his lap.
Do I really want to let this go?
Yes. I can't deal with his need for sex. I bet he's already cheated on me with some other girl.
He whispers in my ear, "Indiana, I think I'm in love with you."
Andy gives me no time to process his words before his lips land on mine again. I moan as Andy rubs his harness against my crotch, maybe I need him too?
Maybe I should give him a night and see if I still don't want this. Only we would know, it's not like he would tell anyone if I asked him not to.
"Andy." I whisper, pulling away. "Are your parents going to be home tonight?"
He shakes his head, smiling a bit. He knows what I'm thinking.
What the hell am I thinking?
No.
"Good. now get out of my house and go find some other girl to fuck tonight." I snap. He gasps, surprised at my comment. I nod, "that's right."
"Indie, I don't want some other girl. I want you, no one else. Indiana, I love you."
Words.
That's all they are, words. They are thrown around carelessly too much.
"I don't love you Andy. Sometimes you have to respect a girl's boundaries. I've been telling you this the whole- well week we've been together. Get out of my face and out of my house." I feel anger bubbling up inside of me as he sits there dumbfounded at my coming outrage.
"I didn't fucking want you to get me drunk! I never wanted you to fucking finger me! Andy didn't even want to smoke! You are a bastard. You manipulate people- girls specifically, to do what you want. You are an asshole and I never want to see you again."
I hear a smack and a tingling sensation on my cheek. Andy is fuming and his palm is raised, threatening to strike again.
"Bitch." He spits. "I could have anyone and I chose you. Now you better fucking be grateful for that or I swear you will-"
"You hit me." I whisper, my shock registering as Andy snarls.
"You hit me."
His raised hand suddenly connects with my face again, I cry out in pain, hoping someone is home.
"You're a whore." He mutters as I scramble off his lap and grab for my phone.
"Get out of my house or I call the police."
He flips me off while getting his clothes back on, storming down the stairs with a final, "fuck you." slamming the door behind him. I pull out a cigarette and watch him get in his car from the window of my room. He doesn't leave for another hour, just sitting there, thinking I guess. He's probably thinking about how proud he is for standing up to me. Phsyco.
At three o'clock Catherine pulls into the driveway, a few minutes after Andy finally left. I've smoked a pack of cigarettes already, the air in my room is so clouded with smoke I think that it would be toxic. Catherine bursts into my room a few minutes later- luckily alone. She begins a coughing fit until I turn away from the window with my tear stained cheeks.
"Indie girl, what happened?" She asks, engulfing me into a hug. I sigh, "we broke up."
"Aww, I'm sorry Indiana. We all have to go through it though. Do you want me to get some ice cream from downstairs and we can talk about it?" She asks, rubbing my back. I nod.
A minute or two later she returns with two spoons and a gallon sized tub of ice cream. I take one and immediately start digging in, joining her on the floor with my cigarettes and lighter right by my side.
"So lets talk about it then." She smiles slightly, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. I nod, finishing my spoon of ice cream and saying, "well he was manipulating me into doing more sexual stuff than I wanted. That's why I broke up with him."
"What do you mean?" She asks, scooting closer, "you're still a virgin, right?"
"Yes, of course. But I never wanted him to feel me up. I didn't say it was okay for him to finger me or walk in the bathroom while I was naked."
"What?!" She exclaims, "he did that! What a pig!"
"That's not all, he kept trying to convince me to sleep with him- like have sex. I wanted a friendship, not a friends with benefits but pretend we're dating type thing. Just now he was here with me and we were doing our dumb photography project and he walked in the bathroom while I was changing, naked. I kicked him out after he made out with me for a bit and I decided to end it. I came out and he was luckily wearing pants and I broke up with him, he told me he loves me and kissed me- then- then I wouldn't take him back so he-" I let out a sob. "Then he hit me!"
She engulfs me into a hug, letting me cry on her shoulder until she decides to call her friends and that we need a sleepover together. I look at my phone in the middle of the sleepover which I am surprisingly having a lot of fun during, to find that Andy had texted me constantly throughout the day.
Andy: I'm sorry I snapped like that. I love you indie, I never meant to hurt you. I promise that I will never ever do that again, I won't push you.
Andy: indie, please call me back.
Andy: baby, I love you. I don't want to let you go.
Andy: Indiana, don't leave me like this. I don't think I can live without you. I'm really sorry. I never meant anything I said. You're beautiful and I love you so much.
Andy: please text me back. I need to know you're alright.
"Look at what this bastard sent me." I groan, tossing my phone onto the middle of the bed we are all sitting on. Shelby picks it up and scoffs. "You know, I've been seeing Andy for a while, on and off and then he met you and just ditched me. I'm sorry I've been a bitch. He's the asshole, not you."
I smile at her appreciatively, what chloe says next doesn't surprise me.
"When you stormed out of the hot tub I had just gotten in and he made a move on me and Hanna."
We keep talking for the whole night, bashing my first ex and eating ice cream. My first sleepover with my new friends.
Notes
FUCK YOU ANDY! Don't worry, I still have more to come :) Thanks for all the comments! I will explain why I am doing this to the story after the next chapter because I don't want to give anything away just yet. Sorry this one is so short...~C
The girl across the hall
Becoming Unbroken
You left me... Broken
I love this so much!
5/11/14