Through Pain of Heart Or Loss of Mind
Chapter 8: Showtime
JASON'S POV
Mircee was sleeping soundly by my side as I woke up with a grin on my face. Last night had been the happiest time of my life. I'd finally kissed the girl I'd been in love with for so long. It almost seemed unreal.
I shifted so that I was hovering above her, leaning on one arm as I traced her soft skin with my fingers. I leaned in as her eyes fluttered and kissed her cheek.
"Well, good morning beautiful." I murmured as she rolled onto her back, looking straight up at me. She smiled and wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me to her lips as she softly kissed me. She lightly pushed me back and I rolled out of the bunk, Mircee following. She went straight to the bathroom as I looked at the two empty top bunks. I went to the back of the bus to find Marcus passed out on the couch with the TV on. I shook him awake and asked him what time it was. He sat up, pulling his phone from his back pocket and told me !0:28. What time did we play today?
I heard Mircee walk out of the bathroom and rummage through her bunk as Marcus and I walked to the front of the bus. I sat down at the table, Mircee looking down at her phone as she slid in beside me.
"So it looks like we're playing at 2:40 on the Monster stage." She said with a grin. She looked so excited.
"Well, we've got plenty of time to waste. What would you like to do til then?" I asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.
"Well, I'm fucking starving so I say we go eat. Amelia still asleep?" she looked up at me, her bottom pierced lip pouted out a bit.
"I didn't see her in her bunk." I said.
"Hm... I'll go get her then." she got up and walked towards the door. I arched an eyebrow.
"You know where she is?" She nodded and stepped out into the sunlight, the door closing behind her.
"It's not hard to figure out where Amelia would be." I turned over to Marcus who was laid across the small couch. He was scrolling through tumblr on his phone. He continued to talk.
"You're lucky. You get to be with the girl you love."
I sighed.
MIRCEE'S POV
As Jake opened the door, I smiled up at him. He returned the smile and gestured for me to walk inside.
"Good morning, Mircee."
"Morning." I said, walking in and looking around. It looked like he was the only one up.
"If you're looking for your friend, she's in there." He pointed to the bottom right bunk, the curtains closed.
"I'm scared to see what would be behind those curtains so I'm just gonna wait til she gets up. Do you mind if I just hang out here for a bit?"
"No, I don't mind. Make yourself comfortable." He said gesturing to the couch and table they had. I sat at the table and looked up at Jake as he pulled a Monster out of their small fridge. My eyes widened.
"Do you happen to have any blue ones in there?" He looked in the fridge and reached towards the back, pulling out the slim black and blue can. I gave a huge smile as he handed it to me.
"Thank you so fucking much! I hadn't had one in a long ass time." I said as I opened it, savoring the taste as I took a sip. He sat across from me and chuckled.
"It's no problem. I can tell you like that." He chuckled again as I gave out a slight moan. I loved Monster so fucking much!
"Mhmm." I nodded.
"So is today your band's first show at Warped?" He said, sipping at his Monster. I put mine down.
"Yeah. We've all been waiting for this for so long, so we're all pretty stoked that our time has come finally." I grinned. I was really fucking happy about it. After our first few successful gigs, we'd made a goal to make it to Warped. And here we are, waiting for our time to play on stage.
"That's great! I'm pretty happy for you guys! I remember our first year at Warped and it was fucking awesome. Every year it gets better." He smiled and I heard someone get out of their bunk and go to the bathroom. I was facing towards the front of the bus so I had no idea who it was and with the Monster I was sipping at, I didn't really care. After a moment, the same person walked in and opened the fridge. I could tell who it was from their now short hair covering only half of their head, and I slightly grumbled at the sight of him being shirtless and wearing black boxer shorts. He turned around with a bottle of water in his hand and groaned as he saw me. He smirked as he put the bottle down on the table.
"Why do you always seem to catch me looking at my worst?" He said with an arched eyebrow. I laughed and took another sip of my Monster. I felt wide awake now.
"Hey, don't get too cocky, Biersack. This isn't much different from how you usually look." I smirked and he glared down at me.
"Well, I am offended." He said as he snatched up his water bottle and walked to his bunk. I laughed, he was so easy to mess with.
"Aw, don't cry about it, Biersack! The little girls still think you are very beautiful!" I yelled, probably being too loud for everyone else who was still sleeping. He walked back with some clothes in his hand, still glaring at me.
"Yes, yes they do!" He yelled back at me, being dramatic and huffing as he held his nose in the air and strutted towards the bathroom. I laughed louder and I heard someone groan from the bunk Amelia was supposedly in.
C.C. came out, thankfully fully clothed, and walked to the front.
"I don't mean to be rude but I think it's a bit too early to be that loud." He grumbled as he opened the fridge and grabbed a Monster. I chuckled.
"Sorry about that," I said as I scooted over and he sat beside me, "So did you enjoy keeping my friend captive all night?" I smirked. He smiled and took a sip from his can.
"Don't worry, we kept it innocent last night."
"Well, I certainly fucking hope so! I have to approve of the men she's gonna sleep with first." I smirked and he just kept sipping at his Monster, grinning to himself. At that moment, Amelia walked in, wearing one of C.C.'s shirts. She looked down at me and grinned.
"Mircee, I don't need permission from you if I want to have sex with a guy."
"From the past guys that you have slept with, I think you do." I said, smirking. She chuckled and walked back to C.C.'s bunk, probably grabbing her clothes.
"I'll work on looking for a decent guy to sleep with. Would that make you feel better?" I heard her say.
"Yes, it really would, darling." I finished up my Monster and C.C. got up so I could get out. I walked towards Amelia to find her waiting for Andy to get out of the bathroom. I grinned and knocked on the door.
"Yes?"
"M'lady would like to change so could you hurry it up, please?'' He opened the door and peered down at me, only one eye outlined with eyeliner.
"Nice makeup, Biersack." I sneered. He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bathroom, fully clothed, letting Amelia walk in and close the door. We stood there quiet for a second before he spoke up.
"Do you enjoy messing with me?" He arched an eyebrow down at me. Wasn't it obvious? I chuckled.
"Very much so, sir. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No, but I was wondering if that was your attempt at flirting with me." He sneered and I looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Flirting?! What kinda girl do you think I am?! You are taken, my man, and frankly, I am too.. I guess." He laughed at my reaction and I glared at him.
"I guess you're not the only one who's able to mess with other people." He chuckled and I smiled a bit. This game of ours was gonna be fun.
"So I'm guessing you're with.. uh, that one guy." He furrowed his brow, trying to remember my band members' names.
"Jason. Yeah, it pretty much happened last night." I smiled.
"Well, I hope he knows what he's in for." He smirked.
"We've been best friends for years. He definitely knows what he's in for." I smirked up at him and for a second we stared each other in the eye without realizing it. Amelia walked out of the bathroom and we snapped our attention back to her. What exactly was that?
"Hey, do you wanna head back to the bus? It's half past eleven and I'm sure the guys are hungry." she said.
"Uh, yeah, sure." I turned around as Andy bumped passed me to go into the bathroom. Before he closed the door, he turned around and smiled at me.
"If I don't see you guys before your show, here's a good luck to you guys." He said as his brilliant smile spread across his face. I smiled back and Amelia and I spoke in unison.
"Thanks." He closed the door and we walked to the bus door, Amelia stopping and kissing C.C. on the cheek before following me out the door, and hearing Jake and C.C. yell us good luck as the door closed.
2 AND A HALF HOURS LATER
I See Stars had just finished their set as we all walked towards the back of the stage. We all talked to them for about twenty minutes before they left to go rest. We still had about twenty more minutes before we went on stage and I was pretty fucking nervous The set up crew was working on sound checking the instruments and setting up the amps and drums. Jason was holding my hand but I could see he was just as nervous as I was, he kept glancing down at me and asking if I was alright and I nodded each time. This was going to be our first Warped show we'd ever played. It was huge for us.
I kept taking my phone out and looking at the time, the minutes passing by painfully slow. Before I knew it though, Marcus was called in and he sat at his drums, twirling his drums sticks with a wide grin on his face. Next, Amelia walked out to the far side of the stage with her electric blue bass glistening as the sunlight hit it. Jason turned towards me to lean down and kiss me softly on the lips before heading to the left side of the stage. The decent sized crowd was screaming and as I walked on stage, the screams grew louder. I smiled as I stood in front of my mic at center stage.
"How are all ya'll fuckin' doin' today?!" I yelled into the mic and the crowd screamed, my stomach flipping in excitement.
"So I just want to let you guys know that, uh, this is the first show we've done at Warped! Ya'll should feel pretty fucking special!" The screams came again and I couldn't help but smile even wider.
"Well, enough talking, it's time for some fucking music!"
Marcus started out on his drums and Jason soon came in with the guitar.
"This song is.. A Painful Fate!!" The crowd jumped and screamed as I started singing.
Here lies the pain you left
And the face I couldn't forget
I could never wish loneliness on anyone
Even you, the one who wouldn't have done
You wouldn't have done a damn fucking thing!
Even if my heart was bleeding!
Fuck you!
And fuck your voice!
Your words are all that run through my head!
I want you to leave
I want you to leave me on my own
I'm better off this way with you gone
The tears will come
But the pain will fade
The breakdown came and I banged my head to the drops, the crowd jumping along with it. I watched as people crowd surfed and moshed in the middle of the crowd that had gotten larger. It was Jason who would be screaming next and I still was banging my head.
Don't think you've got me on a tight leash!
I was just a victim who couldn't leave!
You held the gun at my head!
But realize I held the knife to your back!
I'll never be played a fool again!
You'll learn too late when you're bleeding!
Pleading on the ground and when the ghost of you
When you look at me with cold, dead eyes
I'll know.. that you will always lose!
And I hope on my goddamn life!
That I'll never have to see you
I sang the last line of lyrics into the mic and looked down at the crowd. Their hands reaching up to the sky, and I smiled and closed my eyes, reaching up to the sky along with them.
Mircee was sleeping soundly by my side as I woke up with a grin on my face. Last night had been the happiest time of my life. I'd finally kissed the girl I'd been in love with for so long. It almost seemed unreal.
I shifted so that I was hovering above her, leaning on one arm as I traced her soft skin with my fingers. I leaned in as her eyes fluttered and kissed her cheek.
"Well, good morning beautiful." I murmured as she rolled onto her back, looking straight up at me. She smiled and wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me to her lips as she softly kissed me. She lightly pushed me back and I rolled out of the bunk, Mircee following. She went straight to the bathroom as I looked at the two empty top bunks. I went to the back of the bus to find Marcus passed out on the couch with the TV on. I shook him awake and asked him what time it was. He sat up, pulling his phone from his back pocket and told me !0:28. What time did we play today?
I heard Mircee walk out of the bathroom and rummage through her bunk as Marcus and I walked to the front of the bus. I sat down at the table, Mircee looking down at her phone as she slid in beside me.
"So it looks like we're playing at 2:40 on the Monster stage." She said with a grin. She looked so excited.
"Well, we've got plenty of time to waste. What would you like to do til then?" I asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.
"Well, I'm fucking starving so I say we go eat. Amelia still asleep?" she looked up at me, her bottom pierced lip pouted out a bit.
"I didn't see her in her bunk." I said.
"Hm... I'll go get her then." she got up and walked towards the door. I arched an eyebrow.
"You know where she is?" She nodded and stepped out into the sunlight, the door closing behind her.
"It's not hard to figure out where Amelia would be." I turned over to Marcus who was laid across the small couch. He was scrolling through tumblr on his phone. He continued to talk.
"You're lucky. You get to be with the girl you love."
I sighed.
MIRCEE'S POV
As Jake opened the door, I smiled up at him. He returned the smile and gestured for me to walk inside.
"Good morning, Mircee."
"Morning." I said, walking in and looking around. It looked like he was the only one up.
"If you're looking for your friend, she's in there." He pointed to the bottom right bunk, the curtains closed.
"I'm scared to see what would be behind those curtains so I'm just gonna wait til she gets up. Do you mind if I just hang out here for a bit?"
"No, I don't mind. Make yourself comfortable." He said gesturing to the couch and table they had. I sat at the table and looked up at Jake as he pulled a Monster out of their small fridge. My eyes widened.
"Do you happen to have any blue ones in there?" He looked in the fridge and reached towards the back, pulling out the slim black and blue can. I gave a huge smile as he handed it to me.
"Thank you so fucking much! I hadn't had one in a long ass time." I said as I opened it, savoring the taste as I took a sip. He sat across from me and chuckled.
"It's no problem. I can tell you like that." He chuckled again as I gave out a slight moan. I loved Monster so fucking much!
"Mhmm." I nodded.
"So is today your band's first show at Warped?" He said, sipping at his Monster. I put mine down.
"Yeah. We've all been waiting for this for so long, so we're all pretty stoked that our time has come finally." I grinned. I was really fucking happy about it. After our first few successful gigs, we'd made a goal to make it to Warped. And here we are, waiting for our time to play on stage.
"That's great! I'm pretty happy for you guys! I remember our first year at Warped and it was fucking awesome. Every year it gets better." He smiled and I heard someone get out of their bunk and go to the bathroom. I was facing towards the front of the bus so I had no idea who it was and with the Monster I was sipping at, I didn't really care. After a moment, the same person walked in and opened the fridge. I could tell who it was from their now short hair covering only half of their head, and I slightly grumbled at the sight of him being shirtless and wearing black boxer shorts. He turned around with a bottle of water in his hand and groaned as he saw me. He smirked as he put the bottle down on the table.
"Why do you always seem to catch me looking at my worst?" He said with an arched eyebrow. I laughed and took another sip of my Monster. I felt wide awake now.
"Hey, don't get too cocky, Biersack. This isn't much different from how you usually look." I smirked and he glared down at me.
"Well, I am offended." He said as he snatched up his water bottle and walked to his bunk. I laughed, he was so easy to mess with.
"Aw, don't cry about it, Biersack! The little girls still think you are very beautiful!" I yelled, probably being too loud for everyone else who was still sleeping. He walked back with some clothes in his hand, still glaring at me.
"Yes, yes they do!" He yelled back at me, being dramatic and huffing as he held his nose in the air and strutted towards the bathroom. I laughed louder and I heard someone groan from the bunk Amelia was supposedly in.
C.C. came out, thankfully fully clothed, and walked to the front.
"I don't mean to be rude but I think it's a bit too early to be that loud." He grumbled as he opened the fridge and grabbed a Monster. I chuckled.
"Sorry about that," I said as I scooted over and he sat beside me, "So did you enjoy keeping my friend captive all night?" I smirked. He smiled and took a sip from his can.
"Don't worry, we kept it innocent last night."
"Well, I certainly fucking hope so! I have to approve of the men she's gonna sleep with first." I smirked and he just kept sipping at his Monster, grinning to himself. At that moment, Amelia walked in, wearing one of C.C.'s shirts. She looked down at me and grinned.
"Mircee, I don't need permission from you if I want to have sex with a guy."
"From the past guys that you have slept with, I think you do." I said, smirking. She chuckled and walked back to C.C.'s bunk, probably grabbing her clothes.
"I'll work on looking for a decent guy to sleep with. Would that make you feel better?" I heard her say.
"Yes, it really would, darling." I finished up my Monster and C.C. got up so I could get out. I walked towards Amelia to find her waiting for Andy to get out of the bathroom. I grinned and knocked on the door.
"Yes?"
"M'lady would like to change so could you hurry it up, please?'' He opened the door and peered down at me, only one eye outlined with eyeliner.
"Nice makeup, Biersack." I sneered. He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bathroom, fully clothed, letting Amelia walk in and close the door. We stood there quiet for a second before he spoke up.
"Do you enjoy messing with me?" He arched an eyebrow down at me. Wasn't it obvious? I chuckled.
"Very much so, sir. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No, but I was wondering if that was your attempt at flirting with me." He sneered and I looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Flirting?! What kinda girl do you think I am?! You are taken, my man, and frankly, I am too.. I guess." He laughed at my reaction and I glared at him.
"I guess you're not the only one who's able to mess with other people." He chuckled and I smiled a bit. This game of ours was gonna be fun.
"So I'm guessing you're with.. uh, that one guy." He furrowed his brow, trying to remember my band members' names.
"Jason. Yeah, it pretty much happened last night." I smiled.
"Well, I hope he knows what he's in for." He smirked.
"We've been best friends for years. He definitely knows what he's in for." I smirked up at him and for a second we stared each other in the eye without realizing it. Amelia walked out of the bathroom and we snapped our attention back to her. What exactly was that?
"Hey, do you wanna head back to the bus? It's half past eleven and I'm sure the guys are hungry." she said.
"Uh, yeah, sure." I turned around as Andy bumped passed me to go into the bathroom. Before he closed the door, he turned around and smiled at me.
"If I don't see you guys before your show, here's a good luck to you guys." He said as his brilliant smile spread across his face. I smiled back and Amelia and I spoke in unison.
"Thanks." He closed the door and we walked to the bus door, Amelia stopping and kissing C.C. on the cheek before following me out the door, and hearing Jake and C.C. yell us good luck as the door closed.
2 AND A HALF HOURS LATER
I See Stars had just finished their set as we all walked towards the back of the stage. We all talked to them for about twenty minutes before they left to go rest. We still had about twenty more minutes before we went on stage and I was pretty fucking nervous The set up crew was working on sound checking the instruments and setting up the amps and drums. Jason was holding my hand but I could see he was just as nervous as I was, he kept glancing down at me and asking if I was alright and I nodded each time. This was going to be our first Warped show we'd ever played. It was huge for us.
I kept taking my phone out and looking at the time, the minutes passing by painfully slow. Before I knew it though, Marcus was called in and he sat at his drums, twirling his drums sticks with a wide grin on his face. Next, Amelia walked out to the far side of the stage with her electric blue bass glistening as the sunlight hit it. Jason turned towards me to lean down and kiss me softly on the lips before heading to the left side of the stage. The decent sized crowd was screaming and as I walked on stage, the screams grew louder. I smiled as I stood in front of my mic at center stage.
"How are all ya'll fuckin' doin' today?!" I yelled into the mic and the crowd screamed, my stomach flipping in excitement.
"So I just want to let you guys know that, uh, this is the first show we've done at Warped! Ya'll should feel pretty fucking special!" The screams came again and I couldn't help but smile even wider.
"Well, enough talking, it's time for some fucking music!"
Marcus started out on his drums and Jason soon came in with the guitar.
"This song is.. A Painful Fate!!" The crowd jumped and screamed as I started singing.
Here lies the pain you left
And the face I couldn't forget
I could never wish loneliness on anyone
Even you, the one who wouldn't have done
You wouldn't have done a damn fucking thing!
Even if my heart was bleeding!
Fuck you!
And fuck your voice!
Your words are all that run through my head!
I want you to leave
I want you to leave me on my own
I'm better off this way with you gone
The tears will come
But the pain will fade
The breakdown came and I banged my head to the drops, the crowd jumping along with it. I watched as people crowd surfed and moshed in the middle of the crowd that had gotten larger. It was Jason who would be screaming next and I still was banging my head.
Don't think you've got me on a tight leash!
I was just a victim who couldn't leave!
You held the gun at my head!
But realize I held the knife to your back!
I'll never be played a fool again!
You'll learn too late when you're bleeding!
Pleading on the ground and when the ghost of you
When you look at me with cold, dead eyes
I'll know.. that you will always lose!
And I hope on my goddamn life!
That I'll never have to see you
I sang the last line of lyrics into the mic and looked down at the crowd. Their hands reaching up to the sky, and I smiled and closed my eyes, reaching up to the sky along with them.
8/15/13