Through Pain of Heart Or Loss of Mind
Chapter 7: Issues
MIRCEE'S POV
The sun had just set and the sky gleamed a dark blue above us as we sat outside BVB's tour bus. We all sat in a half circle, facing away from the bus. I sat next to Jason, our fingers intertwined as we held a can of beer in our free hand. Most of the BVB crew was sitting and drinking beer as well, the exception of Andy who was MIA. Across from me, Amelia was sitting comfortably on C.C.'s lap, giggling as they quietly flirted. I realized she wasn't trying to make Marcus jealous anymore, the smile on her face was genuine. I looked over to my left to look at Marcus who was sitting on the other side of Jason. He was leaning forward, elbows on knees, holding his beer with both hands and looking down into it, his chest rising and falling as he sighed heavily. I worried about him and I looked up at Jason, his eyebrows raised and furrowed, silently asking if I was alright. I nodded and gestured my beer towards Marcus. He looked over at him and made the same worried expression I had. Everyone was enjoying themselves, talking and laughing, but I'd just noticed that Marcus hadn't said a word the entire time.
I stood up, my hand leaving Jason's, and walked in front of Marcus who looked up at me. I nodded my head towards the way our tour bus was and he sighed and got up. As we walked past Jason, I quietly told him we'd be right back. He nodded and started talking to Jake and Jinxx who'd been sitting left of Marcus.
For a few moments, Marcus and I walked in silence. As we neared our tour bus, I decided that a walk would be better for this. I looked back at Marcus who slowly followed me as he sipped at his beer.
"Hey, I hope you don't mind if we walk a bit more. I'm kinda feelin' the Seattle air tonight, ya know?" He just nodded and continued to follow me. I slowed down to keep my pace with his.
"So dude, you should tell me what's been bringin' you down. You know you should be comfortable with talking to me about anything." He looked up at me and I gave him a small smile. He sighed.
"I know. I just... I didn't want to bother you or Jason. You guys seem to be happy and I just don't want to bring you down." I stopped walking and he stood next to me.
"Psh. Dude, never think that, alright! We're always here for you whether we're fucking happy or not! Now tell Dr. Jade why Mr. Marcus wears a sad face." I said as I Ieaned against a nearby bus, holding my chin up with my fist. Marcus moved next to me and slid down the bus to sit on the ground. I looked down at him as he spoke.
"I know you probably already know why I'm upset, but you'll make me talk about it anyway."
"That's right." I said as I sat down next to him. I waved my hands for him to keep talking.
"As you know Amelia's been getting pretty close with C.C. and it's pretty much pissing me off for the fact that I can't do anything about it." He sighed.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I'm no fucking happy-go-lucky, I'm-hot-shit C.C.!"
"That's right." He looked at me with a furrowed brow. I continued talking.
"You're no C.C. but you're you Marcus. That's all that really matters and I'm pretty sure Amelia wouldn't have liked you for so long if you were any different." His eyes grew wide.
"Huh? Amelia liked me?" Damn this boy was so fucking clueless.
"Yes! Are you really telling me you never noticed?! It was so fucking obvious! She's been trying to get you to notice for two damn months now! Boy, you needa open your eyes a bit more sometimes, damn." He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled a bit.
"I guess I really should if I'm that oblivious." I laughed. He had a small smile on his face. It made me smile knowing that I'd given a bit of hope to his little heart.
"Yeah. Well, we should probably start heading back." I said as I stood up then helped him up, "You really do need to talk to her though. Soon. Her fangirl crush may turn into something more very soon." He nodded.
"Yeah, I know. This conversation has given me a bit more confidence, so thanks." He said with a smile as we started walking.
"So what's been going on with you and Jason recently? You guys seem like you've finally been hitting it off." He smirked.
"Yeah, I guess. I'm still not sure what exactly that all is yet."
"You guys aren't dating?"
"Not technically, no. I was gonna talk to him later tonight when we had the chance." My stomach fluttered. I still hadn't made up my mind about him and I was probably going to talk to him within the next hour or so. Fuck.
"Well if you reject him, you should try letting him off easy. But I'll just say that he'll probably be the happiest guy alive if you gave him a chance." I nodded. He was right, and I really didn't want to feel like I'd been leading him on, 'cause I pretty much had been. I also wouldn't know how he'd react if I told him we should stay friends. I didn't want to ruin this summer for us. Marcus saved me from my thoughts.
"Um, so Mircee, where exactly is the bus?" I looked around to find that I had no idea where the hell we were in the crowd of buses. Well, shit.
We began walking around aimlessly, only passing one person who didn't have a clue where ours would be. After talking to them for a few moments, we started walking again. We'd been gone for about forty minutes, hopefully somebody had noticed. Still walking, I noticed a tall, dark figure slowly strolling through the buses. Marcus and I quickened our pace to realize it was Andy.
"Hey, Andy!" He stopped and turned around to look at us. It might've been just the glare of the moon, but he looked pissed off. We walked up to him and I noticed that his lips were smudged with a dark red, making me curious on why he was pissed off. As soon as I thought that, the expression left his face and was replaced by a brilliant smile.
"Oh hey, Mircee right? And, uh, Marcus?" Marcus nodded. I looked back at Andy's lips and chuckled.
"Yeah, but hey you gotta li'l somthin'.." I said, pointing to my own lips. He groaned and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, wiping off his mouth with it. The pissed of expression returning as he did.
I realized his whole stomach was exposed, his pants riding low as his happy trail traced up to his bellybutton. I blushed and looked away. The one thing that really turned me on about a guy. I never knew exactly why but I always thought it was the sexiest thing.
He dropped his shirt, frowning as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I apologize for that. I usually make sure I don't go around looking like that." I shrugged.
"It's no big deal, don't even worry about it, man. At least you wouldn't get called a skank for walkin' around like that. You'd probably just get a lot of respectful nods and high fives for gettin' some." He smiled as I put my hand up. That smile slowly faded and I awkwardly brought my hand back to my side.
"Something wrong with the chica?" I asked.
"Ah... We just fought... It's the first time we've ever argued so I'm not sure how I should be right now.. We've never had any issues before." He started biting his nails as he spaced out, probably reliving the argument in his head.
"Ah man, I'm really sorry about that... Well, if you ask me, you should be buzzed and having fun with friends right now so shall we follow as you lead?" I said gesturing my hands toward me and Marcus. The seriousness left his face and he chuckled.
"You guys were lost?"
"We weren't exactly paying attention to where we were going earlier." said Marcus. He chuckled again.
"Well, it's this way." He said, turning around and walking the complete opposite direction Marcus and I had been going.
As we walked, I realized how fucking tall Andy really was. I was only 5'3' which was pretty short for my age, so pretty much any guy towered over me. I don't think I'd known anyone as tall as him though. My thoughts were interrupted as I heard people laughing, music being played in the background. As we walked up to everybody, I knew they were all buzzed. No one was sitting anymore. Jason was standing along with Jake and Jinxx, still talking while holding beers in their hands. Ashley was leaning against the side of the tour bus, flirting with a new broad he somehow managed to find, both with beers in their hands. Amelia and C.C. were dancing to the music that was playing and I heard Marcus groan. The song that was playing though was one of my favorites, Safe and Sound by Capital Cities, and I couldn't help but sway as I moved my way toward Jason. I was gonna do this, now or never. I slid my hand into his and he looked down at me, smiling.
"You ready for that talk now?" he asked. A smirk played on my lips.
"The question is, are you?" He raised an eyebrow and I pulled him away toward our tour bus. This time we would actually go in the bus, I wasn't planning on getting lost again tonight. We were silent the way there and once we got inside the bus, he spoke first.
"Is this conversation going to be about what's been going on the past month? 'Cause I've really been wondering about that." He was smirking. Good, he was buzzed, it'd be a lot easier on me with less tension in the air.
"Would you be glad if I said yes?" I asked as he put his beer down onto the nearby counter.
"Well, of course." He stepped closer to me and I realized we were right in front of the door. I grabbed his wrist and walked to the back of the bus. I sat down on the couch and Jason followed, scooting in close to me.
"So what has the past month been about?" He said, leaning his head back on the couch as he still looked at me.
"I started thinking."
"Oh?" He lifted up his head and arched an eyebrow at me.
"Things are changing, pretty fucking fast if I should say so, and I started thinking about you...You've been my best guy friend for years and I never started thinking about you like this until now.." I said softly. He started leaning in, pausing when our foreheads were nearly touching.
"I guess things do change." He mumbled. He wore that adorable half smile and looked into my eyes. I didn't feel flustered... should I had been?
He leaned in closer, his lips lightly brushing against mine. He was probably drinking everything in, not wanting to forget this very moment. He cupped my face with both hands and gently kissed me. My stomach fluttered a bit as I softly kissed him back. After a few moments of gently kissing, Jason pulled back to look me in the eyes, a wide grin across his face.
"I would've never thought the day would come when I would be kissing the Mircee Jade." I chuckled and leaned my head on his chest.
"We've kissed before." He ran his fingers through my hair and I slowly closed my eyes.
"Yeah, but you don't remember it and I got to kiss you this time." I opened my eyes and slowly got up, smirking.
"Yeah, yeah. Go boast to your boyfriends about it." I rolled my eyes, chuckling. He stood up next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Meh, maybe tomorrow. Right now I feel like falling asleep with you wrapped in my arms." I turned and smiled at him, walking towards the bunks. I didn't feel like changing so I just unclasped my bra under my shirt and threw it inside my bunk. I realized I had my stuff already all spread over my bunk. I turned around and slipped into Jason's, shortly being followed by him after he took his shirt off. We slid under his covers and I turned towards the wall, his arm falling over my waist as his fingers lightly touched my arm. My back rested against his bare chest and he gave me chills as he slowly trailed his finger along my arm. I felt him kiss my neck and lean towards my ear.
"Goodnight, love." he whispered as I closed my eyes and felt his arm wrap around my waist. This was nice.
The sun had just set and the sky gleamed a dark blue above us as we sat outside BVB's tour bus. We all sat in a half circle, facing away from the bus. I sat next to Jason, our fingers intertwined as we held a can of beer in our free hand. Most of the BVB crew was sitting and drinking beer as well, the exception of Andy who was MIA. Across from me, Amelia was sitting comfortably on C.C.'s lap, giggling as they quietly flirted. I realized she wasn't trying to make Marcus jealous anymore, the smile on her face was genuine. I looked over to my left to look at Marcus who was sitting on the other side of Jason. He was leaning forward, elbows on knees, holding his beer with both hands and looking down into it, his chest rising and falling as he sighed heavily. I worried about him and I looked up at Jason, his eyebrows raised and furrowed, silently asking if I was alright. I nodded and gestured my beer towards Marcus. He looked over at him and made the same worried expression I had. Everyone was enjoying themselves, talking and laughing, but I'd just noticed that Marcus hadn't said a word the entire time.
I stood up, my hand leaving Jason's, and walked in front of Marcus who looked up at me. I nodded my head towards the way our tour bus was and he sighed and got up. As we walked past Jason, I quietly told him we'd be right back. He nodded and started talking to Jake and Jinxx who'd been sitting left of Marcus.
For a few moments, Marcus and I walked in silence. As we neared our tour bus, I decided that a walk would be better for this. I looked back at Marcus who slowly followed me as he sipped at his beer.
"Hey, I hope you don't mind if we walk a bit more. I'm kinda feelin' the Seattle air tonight, ya know?" He just nodded and continued to follow me. I slowed down to keep my pace with his.
"So dude, you should tell me what's been bringin' you down. You know you should be comfortable with talking to me about anything." He looked up at me and I gave him a small smile. He sighed.
"I know. I just... I didn't want to bother you or Jason. You guys seem to be happy and I just don't want to bring you down." I stopped walking and he stood next to me.
"Psh. Dude, never think that, alright! We're always here for you whether we're fucking happy or not! Now tell Dr. Jade why Mr. Marcus wears a sad face." I said as I Ieaned against a nearby bus, holding my chin up with my fist. Marcus moved next to me and slid down the bus to sit on the ground. I looked down at him as he spoke.
"I know you probably already know why I'm upset, but you'll make me talk about it anyway."
"That's right." I said as I sat down next to him. I waved my hands for him to keep talking.
"As you know Amelia's been getting pretty close with C.C. and it's pretty much pissing me off for the fact that I can't do anything about it." He sighed.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I'm no fucking happy-go-lucky, I'm-hot-shit C.C.!"
"That's right." He looked at me with a furrowed brow. I continued talking.
"You're no C.C. but you're you Marcus. That's all that really matters and I'm pretty sure Amelia wouldn't have liked you for so long if you were any different." His eyes grew wide.
"Huh? Amelia liked me?" Damn this boy was so fucking clueless.
"Yes! Are you really telling me you never noticed?! It was so fucking obvious! She's been trying to get you to notice for two damn months now! Boy, you needa open your eyes a bit more sometimes, damn." He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled a bit.
"I guess I really should if I'm that oblivious." I laughed. He had a small smile on his face. It made me smile knowing that I'd given a bit of hope to his little heart.
"Yeah. Well, we should probably start heading back." I said as I stood up then helped him up, "You really do need to talk to her though. Soon. Her fangirl crush may turn into something more very soon." He nodded.
"Yeah, I know. This conversation has given me a bit more confidence, so thanks." He said with a smile as we started walking.
"So what's been going on with you and Jason recently? You guys seem like you've finally been hitting it off." He smirked.
"Yeah, I guess. I'm still not sure what exactly that all is yet."
"You guys aren't dating?"
"Not technically, no. I was gonna talk to him later tonight when we had the chance." My stomach fluttered. I still hadn't made up my mind about him and I was probably going to talk to him within the next hour or so. Fuck.
"Well if you reject him, you should try letting him off easy. But I'll just say that he'll probably be the happiest guy alive if you gave him a chance." I nodded. He was right, and I really didn't want to feel like I'd been leading him on, 'cause I pretty much had been. I also wouldn't know how he'd react if I told him we should stay friends. I didn't want to ruin this summer for us. Marcus saved me from my thoughts.
"Um, so Mircee, where exactly is the bus?" I looked around to find that I had no idea where the hell we were in the crowd of buses. Well, shit.
We began walking around aimlessly, only passing one person who didn't have a clue where ours would be. After talking to them for a few moments, we started walking again. We'd been gone for about forty minutes, hopefully somebody had noticed. Still walking, I noticed a tall, dark figure slowly strolling through the buses. Marcus and I quickened our pace to realize it was Andy.
"Hey, Andy!" He stopped and turned around to look at us. It might've been just the glare of the moon, but he looked pissed off. We walked up to him and I noticed that his lips were smudged with a dark red, making me curious on why he was pissed off. As soon as I thought that, the expression left his face and was replaced by a brilliant smile.
"Oh hey, Mircee right? And, uh, Marcus?" Marcus nodded. I looked back at Andy's lips and chuckled.
"Yeah, but hey you gotta li'l somthin'.." I said, pointing to my own lips. He groaned and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, wiping off his mouth with it. The pissed of expression returning as he did.
I realized his whole stomach was exposed, his pants riding low as his happy trail traced up to his bellybutton. I blushed and looked away. The one thing that really turned me on about a guy. I never knew exactly why but I always thought it was the sexiest thing.
He dropped his shirt, frowning as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I apologize for that. I usually make sure I don't go around looking like that." I shrugged.
"It's no big deal, don't even worry about it, man. At least you wouldn't get called a skank for walkin' around like that. You'd probably just get a lot of respectful nods and high fives for gettin' some." He smiled as I put my hand up. That smile slowly faded and I awkwardly brought my hand back to my side.
"Something wrong with the chica?" I asked.
"Ah... We just fought... It's the first time we've ever argued so I'm not sure how I should be right now.. We've never had any issues before." He started biting his nails as he spaced out, probably reliving the argument in his head.
"Ah man, I'm really sorry about that... Well, if you ask me, you should be buzzed and having fun with friends right now so shall we follow as you lead?" I said gesturing my hands toward me and Marcus. The seriousness left his face and he chuckled.
"You guys were lost?"
"We weren't exactly paying attention to where we were going earlier." said Marcus. He chuckled again.
"Well, it's this way." He said, turning around and walking the complete opposite direction Marcus and I had been going.
As we walked, I realized how fucking tall Andy really was. I was only 5'3' which was pretty short for my age, so pretty much any guy towered over me. I don't think I'd known anyone as tall as him though. My thoughts were interrupted as I heard people laughing, music being played in the background. As we walked up to everybody, I knew they were all buzzed. No one was sitting anymore. Jason was standing along with Jake and Jinxx, still talking while holding beers in their hands. Ashley was leaning against the side of the tour bus, flirting with a new broad he somehow managed to find, both with beers in their hands. Amelia and C.C. were dancing to the music that was playing and I heard Marcus groan. The song that was playing though was one of my favorites, Safe and Sound by Capital Cities, and I couldn't help but sway as I moved my way toward Jason. I was gonna do this, now or never. I slid my hand into his and he looked down at me, smiling.
"You ready for that talk now?" he asked. A smirk played on my lips.
"The question is, are you?" He raised an eyebrow and I pulled him away toward our tour bus. This time we would actually go in the bus, I wasn't planning on getting lost again tonight. We were silent the way there and once we got inside the bus, he spoke first.
"Is this conversation going to be about what's been going on the past month? 'Cause I've really been wondering about that." He was smirking. Good, he was buzzed, it'd be a lot easier on me with less tension in the air.
"Would you be glad if I said yes?" I asked as he put his beer down onto the nearby counter.
"Well, of course." He stepped closer to me and I realized we were right in front of the door. I grabbed his wrist and walked to the back of the bus. I sat down on the couch and Jason followed, scooting in close to me.
"So what has the past month been about?" He said, leaning his head back on the couch as he still looked at me.
"I started thinking."
"Oh?" He lifted up his head and arched an eyebrow at me.
"Things are changing, pretty fucking fast if I should say so, and I started thinking about you...You've been my best guy friend for years and I never started thinking about you like this until now.." I said softly. He started leaning in, pausing when our foreheads were nearly touching.
"I guess things do change." He mumbled. He wore that adorable half smile and looked into my eyes. I didn't feel flustered... should I had been?
He leaned in closer, his lips lightly brushing against mine. He was probably drinking everything in, not wanting to forget this very moment. He cupped my face with both hands and gently kissed me. My stomach fluttered a bit as I softly kissed him back. After a few moments of gently kissing, Jason pulled back to look me in the eyes, a wide grin across his face.
"I would've never thought the day would come when I would be kissing the Mircee Jade." I chuckled and leaned my head on his chest.
"We've kissed before." He ran his fingers through my hair and I slowly closed my eyes.
"Yeah, but you don't remember it and I got to kiss you this time." I opened my eyes and slowly got up, smirking.
"Yeah, yeah. Go boast to your boyfriends about it." I rolled my eyes, chuckling. He stood up next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Meh, maybe tomorrow. Right now I feel like falling asleep with you wrapped in my arms." I turned and smiled at him, walking towards the bunks. I didn't feel like changing so I just unclasped my bra under my shirt and threw it inside my bunk. I realized I had my stuff already all spread over my bunk. I turned around and slipped into Jason's, shortly being followed by him after he took his shirt off. We slid under his covers and I turned towards the wall, his arm falling over my waist as his fingers lightly touched my arm. My back rested against his bare chest and he gave me chills as he slowly trailed his finger along my arm. I felt him kiss my neck and lean towards my ear.
"Goodnight, love." he whispered as I closed my eyes and felt his arm wrap around my waist. This was nice.
8/15/13