Savior

Jess's POV

"Who the fuck does he think he is?! One minute trying to sex me up and the next calling me a slut? And then accusing me of cheating on him with my best friend? Fuck him." I thought to myself as I sped down a 35 mph road at 98. I couldn't have cared less if the cops pulled me over.

"An entire fucking year down the drain. I spent an entire year on that piece of shit. I should've known all he wanted was sex. And when I didn't give it to him, look what happened. He fucking throew me out of his house! I'll never get that time back. Ever. And he doesn't even give a shit," I continued. "I bet he's out fucking some whore right now..."

"He never loved me. Did he?

The way he talked about Andy he must have really though I was in love with him.

But why would he care?! He didn't even love me.

He wouldn't have thrown me out if he did.

He wouldn't have yelled at me if he did.

He wouldn't have left me if he did.

He never loved me.

He never loved me.

He never loved me." Those four words rang in my head, over and over and over. Tears were streaming down my face, stinging me as they reached my jaw bone. My eyes were red and blodd shot, my vision clouded.

"I bet he wouldn't even care if I crashed right now. Broke every bone in my body. He wouldn't even come to the hospital. And if I--if I died..." I pondered this thought for a moment. "If I died he would probably just laugh." I chuckled at my own thoughts. "If I died right now he wouldn't care. No one would care!" I continued, a smile on my face, out loud now.

Oh how sweet it was to be cynical.

I sped up, now at 120; the maxixum my crappy car would go. The engine cried out, the pointer on my dashboard shook at 'H' for hot. My tears continued. "But I'm so cold." I knew that there would be a red light coming up soon. "I'm so cold Jack!" I screamed, pushing the accelerator to the floor. Fuck Titanic references.

This was my life now.

He would survive and I would drown.

He would be the one to break his promise...not me.

I passed a stop sign. One street to go. I ignored the car horns and shouts quite blatenly thrown at me.

I didn't care anymoer. I saw the light. It was right there; so close. My eyes locked in on it, still glazed over with tears.

"He doesn't care Jess." I told myself.

I was but a few meters away when I slammed on the brake pad. I pulled the emergency brake, the parking brake, and the keys out of the ignition. The engine sputtered and the car came to a hault.

I laughed bitterly to myself as the tears continued to stream down my face.

Oh how sweet it was to be cynical. How sweet.

Notes