I stared into her eyes imeditatly getting lost in the amazing dark orbs starring back at me.

She smiled and ran her hand through my hair as I hovered over her a smile stretched across my face as I hovered above the most amazing thing to me.

" I love you ash" she muttered barley a whisper and I smiled wider caressing her face, oh how I loved every inch of her beautiful face.

" and I love you Jess" I said also barely above a whisper

I leaned down and once my lips attached to hers everything turned black.

"Ash!!"

I sprung up in my bed popping my eyes open looking to where cc was standing next to me

. He laughed a little at me and I let out a shaky sigh falling back into warm bed , It was just a dream, but Oh how I longed for it to be more than a dream. Every night those dreams have been haunting me and I couldn't take it any more, if only god could give me the real thing I wouldn't ask for anything ever again.

I looked back at cc rubbing my face with my soft hand observing his already clothed form.

" what's up?" I asked and cc chuckled

"It's 1 lets go, it's our turn" I sighed again letting out a small yawn

" I'll be down in 5 "

He nodded silently before shuffling out of the room.

Normally he would have Made some sort of sarcastic, witty comment but latley no ones been their self, I know I'm not myself. Jinxx barely said anything anymore, not even to Sammi, he just was always starring into space, jake had a sad look on his face no matter what even though I could tell he was trying to be happy he absolutely couldn't , Andy couldn't stop cursing out everything and everyone and if anything he started smoking more, And cc? He was still trying to be his funny self but you could tell he couldn't get into it, he always has this sadness laced in his voice and the spark in his eyes has faded.

All the girls were the same, it was like we had a depressed fog hanging over us and I hated it. I just wanted things to be like they were, I wanted us to be a close happy family again, but we needed Jess to do that.

I sighed and swung my feet over the bed noticing I was still in my black skinny jeans that I haven't changed out of for a week.

Since she's been in the hospital my whole days were wake up, go to the hospital, come home late, repeat. I had no time to do anything else but worry about my beautiful girlfriend nearly dying.

I walked to my dressed and opened the tan drawer pulling out a black Harley Davidson shirt. I sighed out a little before slowly and numbly pulling it over my head until it messily hung on my body.

I raked my hands through my hair before picking up my phone off the dresser and walking out of my room and into the brightly lit Hallway my eyes adjusting to the light as I stood there starring at the wooden door across from mine.

No ones touched it since, but for some reason I felt my feet walking towards the milky white door and then my fingers were gently pushing on it, the door making a small creek as it opened revealing her messy purple room.

I smiled a little seeing my zebra blanket that I forgot was missing messily crumbled on her bed. Her sheets were messed up and clothes were stern about the room, Typical Jessica.

I walked in and made my way to her dresser seeing her small silver class ring sitting on the desk. I numbly picked it up admiring it between my fingers , her name was engraved in it and I smiled remembering she almost always had it on ,she must been rushed that morning and forgot.

"ASH" I heard cc yell up the stairs making me shut my eyes.

"COMING" I yelled back not hearing a reply

I groaned and closed my fingers around the cool silver ring before I slipped it In my pants pocket and walked swiftly out of her room leaving the door cracked like I found it.

I walked down the hallway and slowly made my way down the carpeted steps hearing the tv click off as I did. I got to the bottom and cc stood up from the couch a small forced smile on his lips making me do the Same.

"Ready man?" He asked and I nodded letting out a small breath as I made my way to the door cc close behind me.

I slipped on my black slip vans not feeling like putting on boots as cc picked the keys off the side table. He walked past me as I finished putting my shoes on and opened the door leading into the cool spring air.

We both walked silently to the car and cc tossed me the keys making me chuckle and change my direction to the drivers seat opening the black door and climbing in as cc got In the passengers side.

"Figured you could wake up by driving" he said as we slid in and I chuckled shaking my head as I stuck the keys in and made the engine roar to life.

The streetlight manifesto cd that I never took out started playing on the fourth track, everything went numb. I sighed a little, the cd always made me sad but I couldn't take it out, it was her favorite.

I put the car Into reverse and pulled out of the driveway making my way down the road in silence until cc tried to make conversation

"Jinxx said she moved a little today" he said and I nodded smiling a little but I didn't get my hopes up, she wasn't waking up anytime soon.

" it's also only jake, jinxx ,Sammi and Ella there"

" where's Andy and Juliet?" I asked and cc let out a breath, a slight chuckle falling out along with it.

" they don't know, Andy just, lost it a few hours ago and stormed out yelling about how the doctors weren't doing shit"

I laughed a little just as the song cut out and the familiar bass line started to play making my heart stop. This was her song, I couldn't listen to this, I can't.

I went to change it but cc stopped me

" ash.. I like this song come on just keep it"

I relaxed my hand bringing it back to the wheel letting the song play, I haven't heard this song in forever and I didn't want to.

I stared straight ahead as we got closer to the hospital trying to block out the song but that one line just went right in my ears mixing with all the emotions I was trying to store up there.

"And when you wake up, everything is going to be fine"

I pulled into the parking lot feeling my lip start to shake as the chorus still blared away and I ripped into the parking space and shifted it into park before I burried my face in my hands letting out a sob.

I couldn't help it , the realty of the whole thing was crashing on me, it's been 2 months , what is she doesn't ever wake up, I can't live without her, I don't want to.

I felt a hand on my back patting it gently but I didn't stop, I had to let everything out.

The song was suddenly skipped and replaced with horns blaring in making me feel a little better as I started to calm my breathing.

"Hey, ash, everything's going to be okay" cc soothed and I looked up meeting his worried glossy eyes

"You don't know that"

"You're right, I don't but she's a fighter, you really think she would leave you without saying goodbye? I know Jess and I know she will fight for her life , you just need to help her fight" he said and I breathed out wiping my face of the tears that stopped falling a few seconds ago.

"I just love her so much,more than I have ever loved anyone, this girl changed me for the better and I can't live without her"

He smiled a little before clapping my shoulder

" I know , and I know she loves you, you just need to Believe man"

I took in a jagged breath fixing my hair and cutting the engine off.

"Thanks bud" I said my voice still shaky and cracky and he smiled before pushing the door open

"Of course, we got to be a family through all this, now lets go I need cafeteria food" he said hoping out and I chuckled before sliding out and shutting the door after him.

We silently walked across the pavement the warm La sun beating on my black T-shirt as we made it to the glass sliding doors.

We walked in and the receptionist sadly smiled at us waving causing me and cc to nod and lift our heads in a small hello as we walked past her and down the brightly lit white hallway towards the elevators Once we got to the lobby with them in it.

Cc pressed the smooth white button and I watched as it lit up and dinged open immediately. We stepped inside and I let out another breath as cc pressed another button and the elevator took the plunge upward dinging again when it reached the 3rd floor.

We stepped out once the doors slid open and walked down the same familiar path we've been going down the past two months.

There was only a few people up this part this time of day so we walked by the receptionist silently making our way to the familiar room

We got to the room and I immediately walked in the open door seeing jinxx sitting next to the bed gently rubbing Jessica's hand as jake and the girls talked on the other side of the room.

When I got a little more in the room they all looked up and smiled a little.

" hey guys" cc said from behind me and they gave small waves

"Hey cc, hey ash" jake said standing up the girls following his actions.

Jake walked over to jinxx and placed his hand on his shoulder making him look up and smile slightly at us still squeezing Jessica's hand.

"Hey" he said softly and I smiled at him.

"Hey man"

"We should get going babe you look exhausted" Sammi said towards him.

He sighed and turned to Jess one more time before he kissed her hand softy and let go standing up out of the faded hospital chair.

"We called Juliet and they're out getting lunch somewhere, they should be back here around an hour just so you know" Ella said and me and cc nodded

"okay,so we'll see you later then" jake said and we nodded again exchanging brief small hugs before they left the room.

Once the door shut I immediately moved over to the seat jinxx was in and sat down moving close to the bed. Cc moved over to the windowsill and picked up the controllers to the tv before hoping on the tan ledge.

I turned my attention back to the bed sighing at the sight of her, she was in a different position her head slightly turned towards me but besides that everything was the same

I gripped her cold hand in mine giving it a kiss before cc spoke up.

"When she wakes up she's never driving again, i don't want to ever go through this again" cc said and I chuckled a little gripping her hand tighter moving my Glance up at cc

" I'm going to talk jinxx, this can't happen again, what's she going to do? Get better, go back to school and then this will happen again" I said and cc nodded

" lets just lock her in the bus"

I chuckled and shook my head turning back to the bed. I looked at her and squeezed her hand and this time instead of the limp feeling I usually got I got a squeeze back.

My eyes widened and I squeezed again and I felt her hand tighten around mine.

"Ash? You got a crazy look in your eyes man" Cc said and I shook my head

"She-she's squeezing my hand!" I exclaimed and he shook his head.

"You're just thinking things ash"

I groaned before looking back at her and giving her hand another squeeze, limp.

I sighed shaking my head, I was just dreaming I probably didn't get enough sleep.

"Just relax ash " cc said sadly closing his eyes resting against the window and I sighed out before laying my head on the bed next to me and Jessica's entwined fingers.

I sighed and started to sing the only thing on my mind as my mind started slipping Into darkness

"And when you wake up.. Everything's gana be fine"

I woke up after what felt like 5 minutes but was at least 2 hours by the way the sun was coming through the big glass window.

I didn't open my eyes feeling too relaxed, the quiet air , the steady heart beat, fingers running through my hair.

My eyes shot open as I focused more on the soft fingers running through my hair slowly.

I looked over at the windowsill and saw cc still passed out on it, Juliet's bag was sat on an empty chair so I guessed they were here but getting coffee so, who was doing that?

I cautiously lifted my head the fingers stopping as I did and when I fully sat up I froze in time as I came face to face with the most beautiful brown eyes starring back at me

Jess was laying on her side awake her hand numbly still where my head was and I stared at her ,my mouth Immediately falling open.

My whole mind blanked out as I stared at her, I've been dreaming of this day forever and now that it's here , it doesn't feel real at all.

I shifted in my chair forward a little trying to find my words but all I could do was stutter . She smiled a little more and moved her hand down so it was resting next to her and I shook my head sitting up and placing my hand on her cold one rubbing gently.

"You're awake" I finally stuttered out and she laughed again.

"No shit" she said barley a whisper making me smile hearing her voice , my Jessica was back.

" hush..it's just , Jesus Christ you're awake, I can't relive you're awake"

I jumped up my brain finally working and leaned over her face rubbing her cold cheeks with my hands a huge smile stretched across my cheeks.

"I love you so much" I breathed out, the words I've been dying to say to her face for months

" I love you too"

I leaned down silently catching her lips in a kiss , one that I've been dreaming about literally for months. It was a small quick kiss but it was enough to make me smile wider as I pulled away and sat down taking her hand again She smiled as I rubbed her hand softly

" I missed you" I said and she smiled

" I missed you too" she mumbled

" how you feeling?" I asked and she groaned

" like shit.. My whole body aches" she wined and I sighed

"I know, you did quit a job, you broke your ribs and smashed your arm and stuff"

She chuckled a little

"And stuff, thanks ash so helpful"

" shut up I'm not a doctor smelly" I groaned

She laughed before shaking her head again and looking to the side seeing cc passed out

"Where's the rest?" She asked looking back at me and I scooted closer running my thumb across her smooth her hand

"At home, we've been taking turns, Andy and Juliet are coming soon though "

She nodded just as we head shifting coming from the window and cc's eyes lazily popped open as he stretched his arms upward in a yawn.

"Hey ash, who you-" His sentence cut off when he looked over and saw Jessica and me starring back at him.

He had almost the same reaction as I did except he stumbled off the windowsill nocking over his backpack in the process making Jessica laugh as he got up and scrambled next to her bed still not saying a word

" she's awake, you're awake?!" He stumbled out sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed grabbing her other hand and she laughed

" yes I'm awake god, you guys are acting like I've been asleep for months" she said and me and cc both looked at each other

" how long do you think you've asleep for?" Cc asked and she groaned shifting a little searching the walls finally looking at the white hanging clock.

" we'll it's what? 4 now, so I've been out for 2 hours.. "

she said then looked at us again

" but wait you guys were in New York.. How'd you get here so fast.. So maybe I've been out for a day?" She rambled on and I sighed

"Babe..you've been out for a little over 2 months"

Once the words left my mouth she stared at us.

"do you remember anything at all from that day?" Cc asked gently and she closed her eyes for a minute

" I remember getting chased, then driving and the sound of crushing metal but that's it" she said and I silently thanked she didn't remember anything else

She suddenly grabbed her side in pain and groaned making cc jump up

" I'll go get the doctors " he said before walking quickly out and I scooted closer basically leaning on the bed, I couldn't help it.

"You're in really bad shape this time.. You don't, I was, I thought I was going to lose you" I confessed silently and she looked at me a small smile falling on her beautiful lips

" I'm Right here " she said and I smiled gripping her hand as I heard the door start to open meaning the doctor was here

"And you're never leaving again" I said and she smiled

"Never"

Notes

Long time no see! I'm so sorry.. I'm goig to try to wrote more I promise