The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

I wake up in the morning to the sound of Brenna whimpering , and sit straight up on the cot . I look over toward the beds and see Fianna trying to calm her down .

"What's wrong ?" , I ask . "Does your stomach hurt again ?"

"Thems don'ts wet me has beffast , Daddy ." , she sniffles . "Me is hungwy ."

I stand up and walk over to her . "I'm sorry , sweetie , but you can't eat anything until they finish fixing you up ." , I explain . "If you do , it might make you feel sick . You don't want that , do you ?"

"Yous mean me mights fwow up ?" , she questions . "That ucky !"

"Yes , it is yucky ." , Fianna agrees . "Mommy's a little hungry too , but I don't want to get sick , so I'm going to wait 'til later to eat ."

She stops crying , but still pouts a bit , until the door opens a couple of minutes later and Dr . Abernathy comes in . He checks her out , making sure that her temperature has stayed down , and then runs a brief check on Fi . She mentions the problems she had with her blood pressure before Bren was born , and he says that he doesn't think that will cause any issues with the surgery , but he makes a note for it to be monitored very closely .

He also explains that she may have a slightly longer recovery process than Bren , because along with taking a piece of her liver , they will also have to remove a piece of a vein from one of her legs to attach to the piece of liver they put into Brenna .

The door opens again , and a chunky , gray - haired man walks in . He introduces himself as Dr . Reser , and says that he will be doing the surgery on Fianna , while Dr . Abernathy works on Bren . Dr . Abernathy then turns to me , and says , "Mr . Purdy , I also have to inform you that you won't be able to stay in the hospital tonight . After the surgery , they will be taken to the ICU , and will stay there at least overnight , possibly longer , depending on how they respond . You'll be allowed to see them when they wake up , of course , but hospital policy prohibits visitors in the unit after hours ."

I nod , since there's obviously not much else I can do , and the doctors leave , telling us that someone will be in to help get them prepped in an hour or so . After they leave , Fi and I sit on either side of Brenna on the bed and watch "Doc McStuffins" with her , until everyone else starts showing up . All of the guys are here , along with Ryan , Miki , her aunt and uncle , and the elderly couple who live across the hall from Fianna and Bren .

After a few minutes , a couple of nurses come in and kick us out so they can get them ready to go to the operating room . I give Bren a hug , and several kisses , and then give Fi a peck on the forehead , and head out with everybody else .

As we all find a seat in the lounge , Fi's neighbor , Mrs . Frobisher , opens up the container that she's been carrying and offers everyone homemade apple - cinnamon doughnuts .

"I didn't want to open these up in there , since I'm sure they're not letting the girls eat right now ." , she says . "I remember when Norman had his gall bladder operation , they wouldn't let him eat for most of the day before the surgery ."

"And not for a few hours after ." , he responds . "By the time they brought me something , even hospital food looked good !"

"I didn't think anybody could get THAT hungry !" , Andy quips , and we all chuckle .

I'm normally not much for eating doughnuts and stuff like that , but I don't want to hurt her feelings , so I take one , and I have to admit that it's actually pretty good . Everyone gets settled , and munches on their doughnuts while we wait to hear something .

"Does anybody have any idea how long this sort of thing usually takes ?", CC asks .

"Not really , but I don't expect to hear anything for at least three or four hours ." , Miki's uncle replies . "I'm pretty sure that's not the sort of thing you can hurry ."

"No , it'll probably be more like 'Hurry up and wait' ." , Miki chimes in .

"It's too bad that they didn't go to the other hospital ." , Miki's aunt says . "I've known their Chief of Staff since high school , so we might be kept a bit more informed there ."

We sit here for what feels like forever , but my phone tells me it's just a bit over four hours before Dr . Abernathy comes out , and says that the surgery is finished .

"How are they ?" , I ask him , as everybody clusters around to listen .

"They both came through the surgery well ." , he tells me . "We'll need to keep an eye on Brenna over the next few days , of course , to be sure that she doesn't reject the transplant . But for the moment , she seems to be responding well . They're on the way to recovery now , to give them an opportunity to come out of the anesthesia , and you should be able to see them in another hour or so . Unfortunately , the rest of you won't be able to visit with them today . Visitors are restricted to family only until they're transferred out of Intensive Care ."

When he says that , I realize that they've assumed that Fianna and I are still together . But , if that's the only way that I get to see them , I'm sure as hell not going to correct him . Especially since I'm still hoping to find a way to actually make that happen .

Since I can't see them right away , Web offers to take everyone to lunch , and Ryan and the guys talk me into coming along . We go to a buffet - style restaurant a couple of blocks away , so everyone can find something they'll eat , considering that Andy has gone vegan , and there are apparently several different foods that now make Miki nauseous .

She winds up sitting on my right at the table , and as we're eating , she sort of leans in toward me and says , "Can I get you to do something for me , Ash ?"

"Sure , if I can ." , I answer . "What do you need ?"

"Promise me that this time , you'll actually stay around the house , or call one of us if something comes up ." , she says bluntly . "Don't take off and turn off your phone so nobody can get ahold of you , like you used to do back in LA ."

This isn't what I expected , but then I think about it , and that's one of the things that Fi and I argued about the most the last couple of months we were together . She always hated not being able to get in touch with me , but I kept doing it , for some reason . I think it was because it reminded her of what happened with her dad's accident , and I always promised that it wouldn't happen anymore , but then I'd turn around and do it again . And truthfully , I'm not even sure why .

"Miki , you've got nothing to worry about ." , I inform her . "I'm fully aware that they're both going to need me there to help , until Fi is back on her feet , and I promise that if I do have to go to the office or something , I'll call you , or Ryan . Does that sound good ?"

She just looks at me for a few seconds , then nods , and goes back to her lunch . I eat a few more bites , but I've pretty much lost what little appetite I had after that conversation . I mean , I know I'm not her favorite person in the world , but where the hell would she get the idea that I'd be stupid enough to go off and leave them alone in the house when Fianna won't even be able to do anything for herself , let alone take care of Bren ? And does Fi think the same thing ? Is that why she was so hesitant when I brought up the idea ?

It finally gets close to the time that the doctor said I should be able to see them , so I excuse myself , thank Web for lunch , and promise to call everyone to keep them updated . Then I leave the restaurant , and walk back to the hospital , to give myself a few minutes to clear my head .

I go up to the ICU , and the nurse points me to their room . I walk in , and see Bren in the bed closest to the door , looking around the room . She sees me , and says , "Daddy , help ! Them gots nasty stuffs sticked in mines arm . Makes it go 'way ."

"No , cutie , you have to leave those there ." , I say . "If you take them out right now , we won't be able to tell if your new parts work ."

"Pwease ?" , she coaxes , giving me puppy eyes . "Me don'ts wike it ."

"I know you don't , and I wish I could , but you have to leave them alone ." , I tell her patiently . "It's sort of like not fighting with Mommy about brushing your teeth , Bren . You have to be a big girl , and do it even if you don't like it ."

"And if me don'ts does it , then me's not a big enough girl to pways the music ?", she asks , and I nod . I hate telling her that , but I don't want her trying to take the IV's out and hurting herself , either .

I sit on the edge of the bed and give her a kiss on the forehead , then take a really good look at her up close . So far , it looks good . Her color is a lot better , and she seems a bit livelier than before the surgery , so hopefully it'll take .

"Mommy still seepin , Daddy ." , she says . "Is her be otay ?"

I get up and walk over to the other bed , to check on Fi . As I walk over to the edge of the bed , I see that some of her hair has fallen across her face , and I reach out to move it away . As I do , her eyes start to flutter open , and she looks at me . She opens her mouth to say something , but nothing comes out , so I pour a bit of water into the glass next to the bed , and lift her head so she can take a sip .

After she swallows , she looks at me again and says , "Bren ?"

"She's fine , Fi . She's right over here ."

"Here me is , Mommy !", Bren says . "Daddy say we can'ts took the nasty stuffs out of ours arm . If we does , then we's not a big girl ."

"No , we have to let the doctor do that , Smidge ." , she whispers . "Daddy's right ."

"How do you feel ?" , I inquire .

"Like somebody hit me in the side with a two by four ." , she replies .

"Should I call the nurse and ask her to give you something ?"

"No , I'll push the button if it gets too bad , but I'd rather not do it unless I have to ." , she says . "I have no desire to risk becoming dependent on that crap ."

"Okay , I get that , but don't try to tough it out if you're in pain , okay ?" , I respond . "It's okay to take it if you really need it ."

She nods , and I find the remote to elevate the bed for her a little bit , so she can drink some more water without choking on it , and I hand her one of the books she picked up , and she starts thumbing through it .

I pull a chair up between the beds , and read a couple of stories to Brenna , then since there's no TV in here , I pull up a couple of cartoons on my phone and let her watch them until the nurse comes in and says that I have ten minutes before I have to leave .

I text Andy , to let them know that I need one of them to pick me up , then I give Bren a hug , and several more kisses . "Be a good girl until I get back , okay ? Daddy loves you , sweetie ."

"Me wuvs yous , Daddy ! Me wills be good girl ." , she says , kissing my cheek . "You's comin' back to sees us in the mornin' ?"

"Yes I am , sweetie ." , I tell her . Then I turn to Fianna , run my hand over her hair , and say , "I want you to promise me that you'll call somebody if you need something , will you do that ? If you won't think about yourself , then think about how much it would scare her if she sees that you're in pain , okay ?"

She nods , and says , "Okay , I promise ." I bend down , give her a quick kiss on the forehead , and leave the room . I head down to the ground floor , and Andy is waiting there for me in the car .

I get in , he drives away , and I spend the rest of the trip back to my place forcing myself not to demand that he turn around and drive back .

I've just left the two most important people in my life alone in a hospital room , and now I don't have the slightest idea how I'm going to get through the night .

Notes