The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

Time almost seems to stop while we wait for the doctor to give us the results , but in reality , it can't be more than a few seconds before he says , "Ms . Chandler , it appears that you are the best candidate to be Brenna's donor . You are , as I said , a near - perfect match , and I believe we have an excellent chance at a positive outcome ."

"Can we do it today ?" , she inquires .

"I'm afraid not , we still need to watch her for at least another day , to make sure her temperature stays down . I'll also need to coordinate with one of the other surgeons , so we can operate on both of you simultaneously ." , he answers ."So what I think we should plan on is for you to make whatever arrangements you need to with your employer , and anyone else you feel necessary , first thing in the morning . Then you can come back and check in , and we can do the surgery first thing the following morning ."

"Oh, crap !" , she groans . "I still have to tell Milt what's going on . Mik , can you or Ryan give me a ride over there tomorrow , so I can talk to him , and fill out forms , or whatever I need to do ?"

"Why don't I do it ?" , I interject . "When I called the office earlier , Karla said that he'd left a couple of messages . So I can grab the samples as soon as you get finished , and then I won't have to deal with him bugging me while all this is going on ."

The guys all chime in , saying that they'll come keep her company until we get back , so we get that settled , and eventually , everyone starts getting ready to leave . Just before they do , an orderly comes in and says that Dr . Abernathy had made arrangements to move Bren to a different room , with two beds , so she and Fianna can stay together after the surgery . A nurse comes in , and they put her on a gurney and wheel her and the machines down the hall to the other room . When we get there , we find out that they've also set up a folding cot in one corner , so I don't have to worry about the chair turning me into a pretzel tonight .

After taking note of the new room number , Miki , Ryan , and the guys head out , and while Fi gets a damp cloth to wash Bren off with , I call across the street and order some dinner . We sit and talk to Brenna until she falls asleep , clutching Pickle to her cheek , and when the restaurant texts that the order is ready , I run out and pick it up .

When I come back , Fianna has already changed into her fluffy pajamas , which she apparently grabbed this morning when she went to change . I hand her the drink carrier , while I put the food on the little rolling tables . She hands me my Diet Coke , and take a sip of her Dr . Pepper , before opening the box .

"Oh , that looks amazing !" , she says . "I can't remember the last time I had a really good stroganoff ."

"Well , since you probably won't be able to eat anything too heavy for the next week or so , I figured I'd order something good ." , I reply , while I open the container of dressing and pour it over my grilled chicken salad .

She sits on the edge of her bed , while I lower my table and sit in one of the chairs . We concentrate on our food for a few minutes , and then she looks up and says , "Thanks , Ash ."

"Don't even worry about it ." , I say . "You're saving Bren's life , Fi , me springing for dinner is nothing ."

"I didn't just mean that . I meant thanks for being here for Smidge , and for not getting angry in front of her ."

"Getting angry about what !?" , I ask , thoroughly confused . "What in the world would I be angry about ?"

As she looks at me , I see her lips begin to quiver , and tears start trickling down her cheeks . "Because I let things get this bad . I just took their word that she had a virus , and took her home ! I should have known that something else was wrong .I'm supposed to take care of her , and make sure she's safe , and I screwed up !", she sobs .

I move over to the bed and sit next to her , taking hold of her chin , and bringing her face up so she has to look at me . "Fianna Shae Chandler , this isn't even remotely your fault , so stop thinking that right now !" , I say . "There's no way you could have known that , if the doctors didn't even catch it right away . I most likely would have done the same thing myself , so there's no way I can blame you . And even if you had figured it out , the outcome would have been the same . We'd still be here , and she'd still need surgery . So you need to stop blaming yourself for something you have no control over , and concentrate on the fact that right now , you're the only one who CAN help her . I know you're scared , because I am , too , but we both need to put that aside for now , and be here for her . Okay ?"

I sit for a few minutes with my arm around her shoulders , letting her lay her head on mine , until she can calm down a bit . Finally , she grabs some tissues and wipes her eyes , and gives me a faint smile . "Thanks again , Ash . I think I'm okay now . What about you ?"

"To be honest , I'm scared out of my mind ." , I tell her frankly . "I hate feeling helpless , and that's exactly how I feel right now . I can't do a damn thing to help her , and at this point I feel pretty fuckin' useless ."

"That's not even a little bit true !" , she retorts . "After the surgery , you're going to have to be the one to take care of her until I get healed up from this . She's going to need you to do all of the stuff I usually do , so you're hardly useless !"

"You may have to give me a few pointers ." , I say , which finally gets a small laugh . I finally get up and take the food containers out to the trash , then come back , and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my sweats . We watch TV for an hour or so , then Fianna crawls into her bed , and I turn off the light , give Bren a kiss on the cheek , and get myself as comfortable as possible on the cot . Truthfully , even the bunks on our first tour bus were more comfortable , but it's still better than the chair .

As I'm getting myself situated , I hear Fianna mumble , "Good night , Ash ."

"Goodnight , Fi ." , I reply . After a couple of minutes , I hear her breathing even out , so I know she's managed to fall asleep . Now I just wish I could shut off my brain , so I could do the same .
___________________________________________________

Apparently , I actually manage to go to sleep at some point , because the next thing I'm aware of is my phone going off , and the sun trickling in through a gap in the curtains . I sit up and look at my phone , to find a text from Jinxx , saying that they're on the way , bringing me clean clothes , and that they're swinging by Fi's place on the way and meeting Miki there , because she's stopping on her way to work to gather clothes for them to bring for her , too .

I relay this to Fi , and then I hear Brenna say , "Mornin' , Daddy ! Can's us goes home today ?"

"No , Bren . Remember , we have to stay until the doctor fixes your tummy ." , Fianna answers .

"But him say we's do it today . We goes home when him is done ?"

"No , you and Mommy will both have to stay here for a couple more days after that , to make sure it works , cutie ." , I explain .

"But me don'ts wike it here !" , she pouts . "Me wants to go home and play colors , and goes to school and play wif Ivy . Me misses she . Her wills thinks me is no more shes fwend if me don'ts go to school !"

"I'll call Ivy's daddy today and ask him to tell her why you aren't at school ." , I tell her . "So she'll know you're still her friend . Maybe we can ask the doctor if she can come see you after he fixes your tummy ."

"Yous for weally wills asks he ?"

"I promise . Now , when your uncles get here , I'm going to take Mommy to work for a few minutes , so she can tell them she won't be there for a little while ." I say ."We won't be gone long , but would you like me to bring back a coloring book and some crayons , so we can color some pictures ?"

She nods eagerly , and claps her hands , then finally allows Fianna to convince her to finish her breakfast . While she's doing that , the guys show up , so I take the clothes they brought and go to the bathroom to change . After I finish , Fianna takes her turn , and we head to where they tell me they've parked my car .

We leave the parking lot , and Fi gives me directions to where she works . After a few minutes , I see a large building , with a sign reading "Detwiler's Custom Embroidery" , and I turn in and find a parking place .

She leads me through the front lobby and down the hall , where a plump Hispanic woman is sitting at a desk . She looks up , and says "Good morning , Fianna ! How is your little mija ?"

"Hello , Lupe , she's still in the hospital . That's why I'm here . Is Milt around ?"

"He's in his office , go on in ." She then looks at me and says , "What can I do for you , sir ?"

"I'm here to collect some samples to consider for a possible job contract ." , I tell her . "But I'll wait until she's finished ."

Fianna opens the door and steps inside , and before it closes , I see the man behind the desk stand up and motion her to a chair . He appears to be in his fifties , maybe , and looks remarkably like Steve Buscemi , if he were stretched to almost the same height as Andy .

I sit down to wait , and just a couple of minutes later , a short auburn - haired woman comes in , and inquires , "Hello , Lupe . Is my husband here ?"

"Yes , Mrs . Detwiler , but he's in a meeting right now . He should be done shortly ."

"Fine , I'll wait ." , she says , and sits down in the other chair .

"Do you work here ?" , she asks me .

"No , ma'am , your husband has bid on a contract to do some work for my company , and I'm here to look at some samples ." , I reply .

She opens her mouth to say something else , but before she can , we hear a slight buzzing noise , and then a voice comes out of the overhead speaker .

" ....already missed most of this week , and you haven't been here long enough to accumulate enough vacation time to cover all of the time you say that you're going to need . So , unfortunately , I won't be able to guarantee your position will still be available when you decide you're ready to come back ." , Detwiler says .

"Come on , Milt ! It's not like this is something I'm doing just for the hell of it !" , she sputters . "My daughter's life depends on this , it's not optional !"

He's quiet for several seconds , then he says , "Well , I suppose that maybe we could work something out . I seem to remember hearing you tell some of the other ladies that your ex has your little girl on weekends , correct ? So , maybe after you recover from your operation , you and I can spend some ... lets say ... quality time together on those weekends . Does that sound agreeable to you , Fianna ?"

I notice at that moment that Detwiler's wife had taken her phone out , and appears to be recording the conversation . We get up simultaneously and walk to the door , which she flings open , shouting , "Now I have proof that you're a worthless sack of shit , Milton Detwiler , and by the time I finish with you , you'll be lucky if you get to keep your shoes !"

His head whips around , and he looks nearly as shocked as Fianna does . "What the hell are you babbling about , Phyllis ?" , he queries . "I'm having a meeting with one of my employees , there's no need to let your imagination run away with you ."

"If you wanna pull that off , you should move your intercom button , asshole !" , I growl . "We all heard you loud and clear ."

He turns almost green , but then tries to compose himself , and says , "Good morning , Mr . Purdy . I'm sorry that you had to witness this ... , unfortunate misunderstanding . But I'm sure we can both agree , as businessmen , that this shouldn't have any bearing on our negotiations , can't we ?"

"If you think that there's the slightest fucking chance that I'm going to do business with some sleazy prick that just told my kid's mother that her job depends on her willingness to sleep with him , you're even stupider than you look ." , I inform him . "So why don't you go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw , cocksucker ! Oh , and here's a heads - up . I'm going to let everybody I know in the industry know about this , and if I have anything to say about it , it'll be a cold fuckin' day in hell before anybody will have anything to do with you ."

I take Fianna's arm , pull her up from the chair , and start to walk out of the office , but before we get to the door , the lobby starts filling up with people .

The asshole sees them , and says , "This doesn't concern you ! Everybody get back to work !"

One of the men in the group says , "Not gonna happen , we quit . If you want the job done , get up off of your worthless ass and do it yourself ."

Most of the crowd turns and walks out , but one tiny little Asian lady , who probably isn't even five feet tall , walks up to him and starts spewing a torrent of words , which I don't understand at all , but she's obviously not telling him to "Have a nice day ." She finally goes quiet , then spits at him , turns on her heel , and stalks out .

I lead Fianna out to the car , and as I get ready to open the door , the same lady walks over , and hugs Fi , saying , "You don't worry about job . Take care of baby now . You are smart girl , you will find new job very soon ."

"Thanks , Nola , I hope you're right ." , she says . "But what about you guys ? You didn't have to quit because of me ."

"No , we leave because he is a nasty man , and we do not wish to be there anymore . We will find new work , no worries . "

I hand her one of my business cards and tell her , "I hope you're right , but if not , give me a call , and I can talk to some people I know , and try to help you find something ."

She takes the card and thanks me , then leaves . I get Fi into the car , but by by the time I walk around and open my door , she has her head down on the dash , crying her eyes out . I reach over and put my arms around her , letting her cry herself out on my shoulder .

When she finally calms down a bit , I rummage around in the console until I find a few napkins , and wipe her face . She looks at me for a second , then whispers . "What am I going to do now ? If I don't have a job , I'm going to lose my apartment , and I can't even look for anything until I recover from the operation . So how am I supposed to take care of Bren , if I don't even have a home to take her back to ?"

The answer pops into my head instantly ;

"Simple ," , I say . "You'll move in with me ."

Notes