The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

"You know , I really think you'd be more comfortable without these ." , Megan says , unfastening the top button of my jeans .

"That's entirely possible ." , I answer . "Shall we find out ?"

I'm at Megan's apartment , and we're half - undressed on her couch . We've been seeing each other for a little over a month now , and I'm still debating with myself over whether to introduce her to Bren .

"Next weekend is my friend Lindsay's wedding , babe ." , she murmurs as she slides down my zipper . "The wedding is in Knoxville , so I was thinking maybe we could book an extra day at the hotel afterwards and have some alone time ."

"Megan , I can't go next weekend , that's my weekend with my daughter ." , I tell her .

"Are you fucking serious ??" , she asks , moving back . "I already RSVP'ed for both of us !"

"And you shouldn't have done that without asking first !" , I reply . "I told you when we first started going out that I have my daughter every other weekend , and I'm not available on those days ."

"And I'm supposed to just sit back and smile while you keep blowing me off because you let your ex keep dumping the kid on you so she can go do whatever ?" , she fumes . "Ash , you have a life , and if you won't tell her that , give me her number and I'll do it !"

"Hold up there ! First of all , nobody is 'dumping' my kid on me ! I went to court to get time with her , and I'm not passing it up for anybody ! Secondly , I'm not 'blowing you off' , you've known since our first date what the situation was , and if you had a problem with it , you should have bailed then !"

She stares at me incredulously , and says , "Are you really sitting there telling me that you'd choose spending time with a whiny little brat over me ?"

I stand up , so we're face - to - face , and say , "First of all , don't you EVER say anything like that about my daughter again . Right now you're acting more childish than she ever has ! Secondly , yes , that's exactly what I'm saying . How do you think you'll like that if somebody says something like that when you have kids ?"

To my absolute astonishment , she bursts out laughing and says , "That's never gonna happen , I had my tubes tied when I was twenty - one ! I can't stand kids ! You have no idea how glad I am that my brother moved away , now I only have to put up with his rugrats on holidays , instead of having him expect me to babysit for the little monsters everytime I turn around ."

"Really ? And was that going to be brought to my attention if we actually got serious ?" , I inquire , and get my answer when she gets an uncomfortable look on her face and won't look directly at me .

"So you think it's okay to keep something like that from someone you're in a relationship with , huh ? You're fucking unbelievable !" , I exclaim , as I start refastening my pants .

"I didn't figure you'd care , you've already got one , that's more than enough , I would think ! Besides , why the hell would I want to ruin my figure ?" , she huffs . "I bet that's why you kicked your baby mama to the curb , because she let herself go , isn't it ?"

"No , to be honest , she left me when I made a complete ass of myself , I didn't break up with her ." , I state , as I put on my jacket . "And , since I'm being honest , I might as well go all out and tell you that she's actually much more attractive than you are . Especially now that I've met the real you ."

Her mouth drops open , and she says , "What the ... ? How dare ... ! Where are you going ?"

"Home ." , I say , as I open the front door . "Oh , by the way , don't bother coming to my birthday party tomorrow , you can consider yourself uninvited . We won't be seeing each other anymore . If you don't want my kid , I don't want you ."

I close the door behind me , and as I step away from the door , I hear something shatter against it . Well , that was lovely . If I'd known any of this , I wouldn't have wasted my time with her . I'm just glad that I never let her anywhere near Brenna , no telling how that would have turned out .

_____________________________________________________________________

"Happy birfday , Daddy !" , Bren chirps as I sweep her up in my arms for a hug . "We bringed pesents fors you !"

"Thank you , sweetie !" , I reply . "But I've got my best present right here ."

"Where it is ?" , she asks , looking around the room , which makes me laugh .

"I'm talking about you , silly girl !" , I chuckle , giving her a kiss on the forehead .

"Uh - uh , you is siwwy , Daddy !"

"Why don't we just agree that you're both silly ?" , Fianna interjects , as she walks over from the coatrack , holding a couple of gifts . "Happy Birthday , Ash . Where would you like these ?"

"Hey there , Fi . I think everybody is just putting them over on the bar , since it's not getting any other use tonight ." , I tell her , and she walks in that direction . She drops off the gifts , and then stops to talk to Andy , Juliet , and Jake , who are standing near the bar .

The doorbell rings again , and CC , who is closest , answers it , and admits Ryan and Miki .
We've actually gotten along reasonably well the few times I've seen her since Fianna , Bren , and I came back from Missouri the day after New Years . I'm not sure we're ever actually going to be friends , but apparently she at least doesn't want to murder me anymore . They come over to say hello , then put my gift on the bar along with the others .

Everyone wanders around talking for awhile , and Fianna is finally introduced to Anna , Alice , and Inna , who all came along after she and I broke up . I watch as she converses with the others , and I realize just how true my statement to Megan actually was . She has her hair held back in a sparkly clip , and she's wearing a pair of cream colored leggings that accentuate her fabulous legs , and a chocolate - brown sweater with a V neckline that shows just the barest hint of her cleavage . It also occurs to me , belatedly , that Megan had a faint resemblance to Fi . Their hair is the same color , but Megan's eyes are green , and their build is similar , although Megan's tits are fake . But if you put them side - by - side , Megan would end up looking faded out by comparison .

Almost as if they're reading my mind , all of the guys , including Ryan , come walking over to me. "So when do we get to meet your new girl ?" , Andy inquires .

"You don't ." , I inform him . "She's no longer in the picture ."

"Since when ?" , Ryan asks

"Since last night . When somebody doesn't want my kid around , that's a dealbreaker ."

"Excuse the FUCK out of me ?" , Miki interjects , as she walks toward us .

I recount what happened , leaving out what I said to her about Fianna , and they all vehemently agree that I did the right thing . Miki then turns to Ryan and says , "You said before Christmas that you'd seen this dumb bitch , right ? Would you recognize her if you saw her again ?"

"Uh ... probably ." , he reluctantly admits .

"Well , if you ever see her when we're out , you probably shouldn't tell me ." , she announces . "Otherwise this baby might be born in jail , because I'd most likely pound her head into the closest wall ."

A few minutes later , Fianna tells us that I should probably open my gifts before Bren starts getting sleepy , so we all head over to the bar . I've already gotten one of my gifts , because Fianna told me that she's going to let me have Bren for the night , even though it isn't my weekend , and I'll take her back over there tomorrow after lunch .

I start opening gifts , and most of them are the standard sort of thing ; gift cards , some new boots , movies , stuff for my western collection , and a beltbuckle made to look like my Warpaint bass from CC and Anna . I save the presents from Fianna and Bren until last , and Bren shouts , "Open mines pesent first , Daddy !"

I tear off the wrapping , and take out a picture frame , which holds a hand - colored picture of my house , with two figures standing in front of it . As I look at it , I realize how talented she really is . It's obviously a childs drawing , but surprisingly good for a two -and - a - half year old . The house is recognizable as mine , and the figures are obviously me and her , with clothes I can recognize .

"I maked it fors you wif mines new Twismas colors !" , she announces proudly . "Does you wikes it ?"

"I love it , cutie ! First thing in the morning , we'll find a hook and hang it over the fireplace . I want everybody to be able to see what a good little artist you are ." , I reply , leaning over to where she's perched on Fi's hip and kissing her on the cheek . " Thank you , Bren ."

"Now opens Mommy pesent , 'fore me has to go night night ! Her maked yous pesent , too !"

"Oh , really ? She made it , huh ? I wonder what it could be ?" , I say as I pick up the box and start removing the paper .

Fianna sort of shrugs , and says , "It's not quite Bren's caliber , but it sort of goes with your Christmas gift ."

The box is totally the wrong shape to be a hat , so now I'm curious . I pull off the paper and remove the lid of the box . As I pull out the contents , Jinxx , who is behind me , says , "Holy shit , will you look at that ?!"

"Unca Zinks say a naughty !" , Bren sings out . They've all heard about the new rule , and he reaches into his pocket and hands her a quarter .

What he was so surprised by was the guitar strap I pulled out of the box , which has been emblazoned with the same design as my hatband : the bands logo , with stars lining the rest of the strap , and my initials on the end , near the fastener .

"This is terrific , Fi ! Thank you , I love it !" , I tell her , reaching over to give her a small squeeze .

"I didn't know you could do that !" , Juliet exclaims . "Is there any chance I could have you make me one , too ?"

Jake and Jinxx chime in with requests , too , and soon they're scribbling out ideas of what they want . "Well , it looks like you've found a way to make some spare cash , hon ." , Ryan says .

"Yeah , I guess it does ." , she replies .

It's not long before Bren starts yawning , and Fi takes her to put her to bed and say goodnight before she goes home . She comes back after a few minutes , and we all hang out in the living room for another hour or so before everybody starts heading out . Andy and Jules are heading to Cincinnati , and Jinxx and Alice are taking a trip to the UK , so they all head for the airport . Ryan and Miki have offered to put Jake and Inna up in their guest room , and Anna and CC are staying here , so eventually it ends up with just the three of us here , with Brenna asleep in her room . We hang for a bit longer , then they head off to bed .

I stick the leftover food in the fridge , and decide that the dishes and crap can wait until morning . I grab my guitar strap , peek in to check on Bren , and go to my room . I put the strap on my dresser and start getting undressed to take a quick shower . I step out of my jeans , and as I take off my shirt I glance over to the rack where my hats are hanging , and suddenly realize that I put the hatband on the hat that Fianna gave me for my birthday when we were together . I walk over to the rack and pick it up for a minute , turning it in my hands . I put it back and go over to sit on the edge of my bed , letting the memories come flooding back .

***************************************************************

"Thanks for the hat , babe , I love it !" , I said , as we walked back into the house . "And thanks for going to the show with me . I know country music isn't really your favorite thing ."

"But it is yours ." , she replied , wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her cheek against my chest . "It's your birthday , we can do whatever you want to do ."

"Can we ?" , I inquired , moving my hand around to the zipper of her dress , and sliding it down . "What if I want to do this ?"

She glanced up at me , with a small smile , and repeated , " Whatever you want ."

I took her hand and led her into the bedroom , not even bothering to close the door , since we were the only ones there .I slid her dress off of her , letting it drop to the floor , and turned on the light .

She stood there , wearing only a lacy pink bra and matching panties , as I started undressing . "Why did you turn on the light , if we're going to bed ?"

"Because I want to be able to see you . I want to see your face when you cum ." , I told her , and she turned nearly as pink as her lingerie .

I stripped down to my boxers and took her in my arms again , reaching between her breast to unfasten her bra as I kissed her , feeling the tip of her tongue flicking against my upper lip before circling with mine .

I slid the bra off of her , cupping her gorgeous tits and brushing the nipples with my thumbs before leaning down to take one in my mouth , causing her to whimper and strain against me .

I moved her back and laid her down on the bed , then looked down at her . "Anything ?" , I asked again , and she nodded her head .

I went to the dresser and removed a couple of scarves from one of the drawers , then walked back to the bed and took hold of her hand , moving it above her head . I'd never done that with her before , and I asked her again , "Are you sure ?"

She hesitated for just a second , then nodded , so I used the scarves to tie her hands to the bedposts .After removing her underwear , I put pillows under her knees , and then grabbed more scarves and fastened her ankles as well .

She looked at me , wide - eyed , and said , " What are you going to do ?"

I climbed onto the bed , between her legs , and replied , "I'm going to make you cum until you can't stand up , that's what ."

I resumed suckling on her breasts as I slid my hand down and started rubbing her clit . She moaned and strained against my hand , trying to get more contact .

"That feels so good !" , she panted . "Faster , I'm so damn close !"

I moved my fingers faster , slipping a couple of them inside , and she bucked against my hand and said , "Oh , fuck yes , just like that ! Oh , Ash , I'm ... , I ... , OH , FUCK !" , as she spasmed around my fingers .

As she began to relax , I slid further down , and directed a breath against her dripping pussy . She jerked , and I said , "You didn't think I was finished , did you ?" , and flicked my tongue against her clit . I continued to lick and suck , reinserting my fingers to tease her G-spot , causing her to orgasm four more times before I couldn't wait any longer and got off the bed just long enough to take off my boxers .

I grabbed a handful of tissues from the dresser to wipe my face , then crawled back between her legs and slid myself inside her , feeling her clamp down on my cock . I slid almost completely out , then plunged back in , reaching up to unfasten her hands as I did .

As soon as she was free , she grabbed my ass , pulling me in as deep as possible , writhing and moaning underneath me . "Oh . My . God ! " , she gasped . "Ash , I'm gonna cum again ! Please , cum with me !"

"Oh , fuck yes ! Let go , baby , I'm almost there !" , I groaned , and as she started to jerk and whimper again , I felt myself release inside of her tight , pulsating snatch , cumming so hard I thought I might black out .

When I regained control of my muscles , I untied her ankles and pulled her into my arms . "This has been the best birthday I've ever had ." , I whispered . "Thank you for trusting me . I love you , Fi ."

"I love you , too ." , she replied , kissing my neck . "I told you , this is your day . We'll do anything you want . And of course I trust you , I know you wouldn't hurt me ." She snuggled closer to me , and soon we both fell asleep .

*******************************************************************

I snap out of the memory to discover that I now have a raging hard - on , so I get into the shower and turn the water on cold , only to discover that I'm so wound up that doesn't even help . I end up having to finish myself off here in the shower , and that image of Fianna is in my head the entire time .

As it finally dawns on me how badly I've fucked myself , I bang my head against the wall of the shower . This girl was the best thing that ever happened to me , and I was too stupid to appreciate that , and I lost her .

She's willing to be friends with me , for Bren's sake , if nothing else . But what would happen if she figured out that I think I may still be in love with her ?

Notes